Creating the Future
by retailavenger85
Summary: 3rd story, following Escaping the Past, and Repairing the Present. My headcanon of Mass Effect 3, as Kaidan and Shepard struggle to unite the galaxy and reconnect against overwhelming odds, and Shepard's impending breakdown. There will be a happy ending!
1. Chapter 1

(A/N Hello again, everyone! So here we are at part 3! (If you have not read 1&2, please click on my profile to bring them up, and go read them. They are fun, I promise.)

Anyway, if you remember my note from the end of the last story, I am going to go as far as I can, following canon. Basically, I'm going to race Bioware to the end of the story. Either they fix it, or I will. Anyway, let's get down to it!)

Creating the Future.

Chapter 1

Kaidan stood on a small balcony and looked out at his hometown of Vancouver. The breeze coming off the harbor smelled like saltwater, and was cool on his face, making him glad to be home, but he wished it was under better circumstances. Six months after Shepard had destroyed the Alpha Relay, she was finally going to face trial, and since he had been the one to encounter her on Horizon, he had been called in to testify about her involvement with Cerberus. Glancing up, he squinted his eyes to try and see through the windows of the upper floors. Somewhere up there, Shepard was under house arrest, unable to leave the building since she had turned herself in. _Should I try and see her? I don't even know what to think anymore. She seemed so much like herself on Horizon, but the things she's done... What if she is a Cerberus spy? I don't know if I can get over her working with them. _

The building itself was full of rushing soldiers, apparently Admiral Hackett had ordered the fleet to mobilize. Something big had happened since he had arrived earlier in the day, called away from his students and team.

"Major Alenko? They're ready for you now." A redheaded aide was holding the door open for him, and he followed her into the large chambers of the Defense Committee.

Standing before them reminded him of his many times with Shepard arguing with the Citadel Council. He felt a knot growing in his stomach. _What are they going to ask me about her? How much do they know about us? Can I be professional about this? Not let my feelings for her overshadow what I've seen and heard? _He looked up at them, they were strangely quiet. A older woman sitting at the center of the table leaned forward and addressed him.

"Major... We'll keep this quick. There are... other pressing issues at hand." They looked at each other nervously. "When you encountered Shepard on Horizon, was she working with Cerberus?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Do you believe her association with Cerberus lead her to destroy the Alpha Relay?"

"Um... No, Ma'am."

"What brings you to that conclusion, Major?'

"Commander Shepard believes the Reapers are on their way, Ma'am." The Committee members shifted awkwardly.

_Something is going on. They know something._ _Do they finally believe Shepard about the Reapers?_

"Thank you, Major. I'm sorry for taking you away from your team for this, but we are going to have to postpone the rest of the hearing. You'll be given a new set of orders, and we'll be in touch when things are rescheduled. Dismissed."

Kaidan saluted, and left the room. _That was weird. What do I do now? _

He made his way through the halls towards the exit. _Maybe I can get in a visit with the family before I head back out. Assuming everyone is panicking for nothing, that is. _He rounded a corner, and was surprised to see Admiral Anderson walking towards him. They exchanged quick nods.

"Anderson." His gaze slipped past the Admiral, and caught a familiar figure further down the hall. His breath caught in his lungs, and his chest got tight. _Calm down. You were going to have to see ever eventually. Better to get it over with now. Then you can ship back to your team and forget about this whole mess. _Shepard had her back to him, her hair chopped short again, but she was instantly recognizable to him. She was talking to the giant Lieutenant they had appointed to guard her, and Kaidan couldn't stop himself calling out to her. "Shepard..."

"Kaidan..." His name crossed her lips before she even turned around. She walked towards him, their eyes locked, until Anderson interrupted the moment by nudging her. Shepard looked up at their old commanding officer.

"How'd it go in there, Major?" In his shock of seeing Shepard, Kaidan had completely forgotten about his reason for being there. He fumbled for words as Anderson stared at him curiously.

"Okay, I think. I'm just waiting for orders now."

Shepard turned away from Anderson to face him.

"Major?"

"You hadn't heard?"

"No, I hadn't..." She looked surprised at the news of his promotion, but slightly sad. _Is she sad that I technically outrank her, or that she didn't know about it?_

"Sorry, Shepard. It's been... well..." _Its your move, Shepard. I don't know what to do here. Give me a sign of what to do... _

"That's okay. I'm just glad I bumped into you, Kaidan." She gave him a slight smile, like she might actually be happy to see him. He clung to that like a lifebuoy. _Maybe she doesn't completely hate me. _

"Yeah. Me too."

Anderson signaled her to follow, and they walked past him. When Shepard was a few inches away, he returned the smile, and gave her a nod. _I don't think she's walking in to a disciplinary hearing any longer. _As she walked away, he found it impossible to drag his eyes away from her. She must have felt his gaze, her hand self-consciously reached up and tugged at her short hair, like she had done at Ashley's memorial service. He felt a hulking presence behind him, and turned to face Lieutenant James Vega.

"You know the Commander?" The Lieutenant voice was softer than he would have guessed.

"I used too..." Kaidan didn't feel like getting into the whole story. He turned back to look at Shepard, but she was gone.

"She's one tough lady."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. The Admiral's had me guarding her since she got here." He sighed. "She doesn't need a lot of guarding though. The Alliance wouldn't let her talk to anyone, or have any extranet access."

"So what did she do for the last six months?"

"Read. Work out. We talked through the door a bit. Man, it was as much punishment for me as it was for her. I wanted to be out in the field." He gave a short laugh. "I bet she did, too."

"What happened to her hair? It looked pretty long on the news when they were bringing her in."

"Oh, do not bring that up to her. They chopped it all off last week. Said it wasn't 'Alliance regulation' length. She was livid." He shook his head. "Girls and their hair."

They stood in silence for a while, awkwardly not talking. _What am I doing? Am I waiting for her to come back out? Well, what else am I going to do?  
><em>

"So... What happened to the Normandy?"

"Alliance seized it. Tore it apart, put it back together. They're finishing the retrofit down in the spaceport, with the pilot."

"Joker?"

"Yeah, that guy. He practically refuses to leave the ship."

"That sounds like Joker."

Their awkward silence was broken by shouts from down the hall. After a quick glace, Kaidan and Vega took off running towards the sound. Several Alliance officers were clustered around a large monitor displaying static.

"Come on, Sarge! Get it working!" Vega called to a man in dress blues. He smacked the side of the monitor, shaking it into life.

The screen showed fire and smoke. The face of a terrified soldier filled it, his shouts unintelligible from the static. A loud humming noise came from the speakers, and an explosion wiped out everything on the screen before the signal cut out.

"Holy shit! What's happening?" Vega muttered under his breath. The frantic Sargent scrolled through the frequencies, quickly bringing up the Alliance News Network. The image of a ship, identical to Sovereign filled the screen, dwarfing the buildings it had landed next to. They stood in speechless horror, watching the screens around them fill with pictures of the giant creatures.

"Oh god." Kaidan said. "The Reapers are on Earth."

"We gotta get Shepard. " Vega turned to run back towards the chambers, but the floor began to shake, and a dark shadow filled the window. A Reaper dropped out of the clouds at high speed, and fired a beam right where the committee chambers were.

The explosion knocked Kaidan to his feet. As he staggered upwards, all he could see was burning rubble. "Shepard..."

"We gotta get to the ship, Major!" Vega yelled, grabbing him by the arm. "If Shepard survived that, we gotta get outta here, and get the ship ready!"

With a last glance backward, they took off running towards the spaceport. _Shepard, you can't die on me again. _As they made their way down several flights of stairs, his radio crackled.

"This is Admiral Anderson, report in, anyone!"

"Admiral?" He called back in, ducking under a burning pillar.

"Major Alenko, is that you? What's your status?"

"Alive, Sir, making my way to the spaceport!"

"I can't raise the Normandy. You'll have to contact them. We'll meet you at the landing zone. Anderson out."

He caught up with Vega, surprised at how much the large man had outpaced him. Kaidan frantically searched frequencies with his omnitool to raise the Normandy as he ran.

"Joker! Do you read?"

"Kaidan? What the hell is going on out there?"

"Just get the Normandy up and running! We'll be there is a second!"

"But what the hell is-"

"Just get it going!"

They finally reached the bottom of the stairs, and booked down a long hallway towards the spaceport entrance. The Normandy came into view, docked near the entrance of the port. A howling noise caused the marines to skid to a halt and take cover as several large, lumpy husks staggered into view.

"What the hell are those?" Vega hissed at him.

"I've never seem before." He peeked his head around the corner and studied their misshapen faces. "Oh god, they look like Batarians." He leaned back so Vega could take a look.

"Holy shit. Do you see their arms? Those are people."

"Okay, we just need to get past them to the Normandy. Are you ready to make a run for it?"

Unfortunately, the husks took that moment to notice them. They unleashed a barrage of fire at the marines, just as Kaidan's radio came to life again.

"Major, do you read me? I'm patching in Shepard!" _Thank god, she's alive. _He felt like a weight he didn't even know had been there was lifted off his chest. Now she just needed to get to the ship, to safety, to him. _As soon as I get to safety. _

"We're almost to the Normandy! I've got Lieutenant Vega with me, but we're taking heavy fire!"

"We're about five minutes out!"

The transmission cut out as Kaidan and Vega made their way through the small cluster of husks. _Thank god I take this pistol with me everywhere. _The modded pistol Shepard had given him so long ago had saved his life more times than he could count. They finally made it to the ship, bolted through the open airlock, and Kaidan ran up behind his old friend.

"Get us in the air, Joker!"

Joker nodded as he lifted the ship off the ground, and took it out through the hanger doors.

"Tell me what's happening! What the shit is going on out there?"

"Reapers!"

"What!"

"Just get us in the air! And open the hanger door!"

Kaidan ran through a now unfamiliar Normandy. Half of it was as it had been, but so many things had changed. Doors were added, the stairs were gone. Vega hit the button on the elevator, which was now on the main deck and stepped in.

"This way to the hanger, Major."

"Everything is so... different."

"You served on the SR1, Sir?"

"I did. It was my home. It burned out from under me." His stomach gave a turn as he remembered the day he thought he had lost everything.

The elevator stopped, letting them out on the hanger deck. It was completely unrecognizable from the original ship. As he walked past it, Kaidan ran his hand over the updated armory. _Ash would have loved this. _He felt the slight twinge of guilt that accompanied any thoughts of Ashley, but had learned to embrace that guilt as a part of himself. He grabbed an assault rifle, and followed Vega down the hanger ramp as it opened partway.

The wreckage of his hometown made his stagger. Vancouver was on fire.

"Hang on tight!" Joker yelled over the comms. Kaidan grabbed a loading strap as the Normandy dove through the buildings to avoid missiles launched from the ground.

Kaidan was about to answer when his radio crackled. Anderson's voice came through, heavy with static.

"Major Alenko, we're in sight of the spaceport. ETA 3 minutes."

"We've made it to the Normandy. Taking heavy fire." He looked up to see an Alliance dreadnought taking heavy fire from a large Reaper. "Oh god! They're gonna take down the dreadnought! Evasive maneuvers!"

"Major? Kaidan!" Anderson's voice was choppy with static. "Dammit, they're in trouble!"

"Goddammit!" Shepard's voice was unmistakable through the static.

The dreadnought took a direct hit and exploded with a blinding light. Joker swung the Normandy around, practically shaking Kaidan and Vega loose from their grips.

Normandy, This is Anderson, do you read?"

"Admiral, what is your location?"

"By a downed gunship in the harbor, I'm activating its distress beacon. Send support. We've got wounded down here." A loud burst of static crackled over the radio. "Major?"

"Admiral? Dammit. Joker, get us to the harbor!"

"Cavalry has arrived!" Joker yelled triumphantly into the comms.

They swooped down into the harbor, and hovered low to the ground, opening the hanger door all the way. Shepard booked it up a piece of wreckage, and threw herself towards the ship. She landed heavily, falling onto her knees. Kaidan grabbed her arm, helping her up to her feet. A cut traced its way across her cheek, strands of hair sticking to the fresh blood. He pulled his hand back before he tried to brush it away.

"Welcome aboard, Shepard." He said, trying to sound calm.

"Thanks." She said absently, jogging back down to the end of the ramp.

"Shepard!" Anderson called out. He was still standing on the piece of wreckage.

"Come on!" She cried out desperately. They all turned to watch two Alliance shuttles swoop down and land behind the Admiral.

"I'm not going." He yelled back. "You saw those men back there. There's a million more like them, and they need a leader!"

"We're in this fight together, Anderson!" She leaned towards him, and Kaidan had to fight the urge to pull her back.

"Its a fight we can't win. Not without help. We need every species, and all their ships, to even have a chance at defeating the Reapers. Talk to the Council. Convince them to help us."

Shepard threw her hands up.

"What if they won't listen?"

"Then make them listen. Now go! That's an order!"

"I don't take orders from you anymore. Remember?"

"Consider yourself reinstated." Anderson whipped a set of dog tags across the divide at her. "Commander." She stared at the dog tags, weighing them in her hands carefully. "You know what you have to do."

"I'll be back for you." Her voice cracked slightly. "And I'll bring every fleet I can." She turned away from him slightly, then looked back over her shoulder. "Good luck."

"You too, Shepard."

She walked up the ramp slowly towards Kaidan, staring at him intensely. He returned the stare, unsure of what it meant. She stopped a few inches away from him, and spun around to watch Anderson get smaller, and more evacuation shuttles land. Shepard stood stock still, watching civilians board.

The Normandy had only gone a few yards away when a deafening noise tore through the air. A large Reaper prowled its way towards them, destroying everything in its path with an immense laser. The shuttles took off in a hurry, but were no match for the creature, they exploded into tiny pieces, raining debris into the harbor. Shepard closed her eyes and turned away, a look of grief crossing her face. She spun around and stormed up the walkway, the hanger door shutting behind her. _I should let her be. She looks like she's going to punch someone. _Unfortunately, Vega had no such thoughts.

"What the hell's going on?" He called out to her. "Where's Anderson? Where are we going?" She ignored him and kept walking. "Hey!"

"We're leaving." Her voice was flat, emotionless. Vega followed her towards the armory.

"Leaving?" He towered over her.

"What's going on?" Kaidan stepped up, ready to intervene if necessary.

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, get help for the fight."

"Bullshit. He wouldn't order us to leave."

"We don't have a choice. Without help, this war's already over." Her voice maintained its calm, level appearance. If she was still the Shepard he knew, she was about ten seconds away from ripping someone's face off with her fingernails and teeth. He almost pitied Vega.

"Forget it. Drop me off someplace, cause I'm not leaving." The large man turned away from Shepard, only for her to grab his shirt and pull him back down towards her face.

"Enough!" She yelled, anger practically radiating off her. "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight? We're going to the Citadel. You want out? You can catch a ride back from there!"

They stared at each other, neither one wanting to blink, until Joker's voice broke the deadlock.

"Commander!"

"Joker? Is that you?" Shepard let go of Vega's shirt, and he stumbled backwards.

"Alive and kicking! Got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you."

"Patch it through." With once last glare at Vega, she turned her back on them to talk to Hackett.

"Shepard... sustained heavy losses... force was overwhelming... no way we can defeat them conventionally..." The static made hearing every other word practically impossible.

"Anderson already ordered me to talk to the Council." Shepard had regained her calm exterior, but the way her hands clenched and unclenched betrayed her emotions to Kaidan.

"We need you to... Alliance outpost on Mars... lose control of the system..."

Shepard saluted.

"Yes, sir."

"Researching Protheans... Doctor T'soni... Found a way to stop the Reapers... Only way to stop them... Contact soon. Hackett out."

"Joker, set a course for the Mars Archives."

"Roger that."

She stalked away from the armory, opened a locker, and started pulling out her armor.

"This is loco!" James exclaimed.

"Why Mars? What does he think we'll find there?"

"I don't know yet. But if it helps us win this war... grab your gear!" She started strapping on her armor and Kaidan looked around for any spare armor.

_Its funny how this time, the whole world is on fire, not just the Normandy. Everything is crashing down for everyone. But she's here now, with me. Even if I'm not sure who she is anymore, even if she doesn't feel the same about me after all this time, she's still here. No more wondering where she is, what she's doing. She's alive, and standing in front of me. Staring. Awkwardly. _He realized he was holding armor and not moving.

"Everything alright, Kaidan?" She asked, eyebrow raised. _Oh, I missed that..._

"Um, just checking that this will fit. I didn't have time to bring my stuff with me."

"We'll pick up better armor from the offices on the Citadel. You don't mind wearing standard armor for this mission, do you?"

"No. This will do." _Nice to know she's not going to leave me on the Citadel. _He put on the armor, and looked around the hanger. "Hard to believe this is still the Normandy."

"She's been through a lot. But she's still my girl." Shepard ran her fingers lightly over the armory. She looked up at him with a sad smile, and climbed onto the shuttle.

_I wonder if you're still mine. _


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N, just reminding everyone of my "LOL I can't write combat unless necessary" thing. So I'll be skipping most of it unless it's really plot important. )

Chapter 2

Kaidan sat in the back of the shuttle while Vega piloted it down to the surface of Mars. Shepard stood behind the large man, holding onto the back of his chair, as she used to do to Joker's. Her voice was muffled by the hum of the engines, so he took a few moments to gather his thoughts. _What just happened? The Reapers are on Earth... how many people made it off world in time? Where are my parents? Where are my students? _He leaned his head against the wall behind him. _How did I end up back on the Normandy? With Shepard! I should keep an eye on her, who knows what Cerberus put in her head when they rebuilt her... But they really did put her back the same way she was... She walks the same, talks the same..._ He felt the same stirrings in his chest as when he had first seen her on Horizon. _Can I put these stupid doubts out of my head for just a few minutes, and take in the fact that she's here, she's alive... and we're together? Well, we're near each other, at least. _ As if she knew he was thinking about her, she returned to the small cabin area. They stared at each other for a moment, her eyes studied him curiously, then Shepard turned away to put on her helmet. Kaidan stood up, and attached his own.

"I... uh... didn't see anyone else in the cockpit with Joker... Who is the Edi woman I kept hearing over the intercom?"

"She's our AI." Shepard said casually, as if it were an everyday thing.

"An AI?"

"Yes. Cerberus built her. Joker unlocked her. She's very helpful."

"You have an unshackled Cerberus AI running the ship?"

Before she could answer, the shuttle whined loudly as it landed. Vega popped around the corner, securing his own helmet, and nodded at Shepard.

"Still no contact from the base. But we've got a massive storm headed our way."

"How long till it hits?"

"Half hour, tops. After that, we're going to have difficulty keeping up comms with the Normandy."

"Understood."

Shepard opened the door, and they followed her out onto the Martian surface. The red planet sprawled out before them, all canyons and sharp edges. Kaidan had only been once, right after basic training, but Mars looked the same no matter where you went.

"Damn, that's a huge storm. Looks a lot bigger in person!" Vega exclaimed, shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Pretty average for Mars, actually." _Damn, did that sound pretentious? _

"I'm glad you're so optimistic." Vega shot back. Over his comms, Kaidan heard something that might have been a snort from Shepard.

"We've got Reapers invading Earth, the station here is offline, a little dust storm seems like the least of our worries."

"Fair enough." Vega shrugged at him, and kept walking. _He seems like an amiable enough guy. I mean, he's not pissed at Shepard for that moment in the hanger bay... _

They patrolled in radio silence, sneaking through the abandoned solar panels, until they reached a small ledge. Kaidan lowered himself down, and stood guard as Shepard dropped down behind him.

"What's that?" Vega called out, pointing to a small heap near a large stack of crates. Kaidan jogged forward, and knelt to examine what turned out to be a body. He sighed deeply as he stood back up.

"He's Alliance. Sargent Reeves. Didn't put up a fight before he died."  
>"Something's not right here." Vega swung his rifle around wildly as he scanned the area.<p>

"Keep a low profile till we know what's going on." Based on her tone of voice, Kaidan could picture the expression on her face; The thoughtful frown she wore when she was trying to make up a plan on the fly. _ I wish I could see her face._ He shook the thought off. _I need to stay focused. If I get too caught up in my own head, I could get myself killed. _

"Roger that."

They crept towards the base, Shepard's head snapping up as the sound of gunfire echoed through the thin atmosphere. She rushed forward and hid behind a large crate, Vega on her heels. Kaidan took up position behind a large boulder near them. Carefully, they peered around, looking down onto the horrible sight of Cerberus soldiers surrounding a pile of dead scientists.

"Holy shit. They're executing them." Vega hissed. "Take the shot, Shepard!"

Shepard unhooked her sniper rifle, and took aim. Instantaneously, Kaidan's mind flashed back to Therum, when he had acted as her shield, pulling her in tightly for the first time. He watched her tense up, and obliterate the head of one of the troopers.

"Well, they know we're here now..." As Vega stood up from behind cover and blasted away with his rifle. Kaidan reached out with his biotics, grabbed a trooper, and flung him over the edge of the cliff. The small force was unprepared for the sneak attack, and was destroyed in moments.

Approaching the bodies carefully, Vega kicked one over.

"Those guys were Cerberus, weren't they?"

"Sure look like it." Shepard answered.

"Cerberus." Kaidan looked over at her. "What are they doing here on Mars?"

"Good question." She looked back at him, head tilted.

"You don't know?" The question popped out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"I'm not with them any more, Kaidan, if that's what you're asking." He could practically feel her eyes narrowing as she stared at him through her helmet.

"It wasn't." He backpedaled quickly. "But you have to admit, its a bit... convenient."

She shook her head at him, and walked away.

"Doesn't look like they came here in force." Vega said, trying to fill the awkward silence.

"Yeah. Just a few vehicles." Shepard ran her hand lightly over a large Mako. Kaidan closed his eyes and offered a prayer to the universe that she wouldn't try to drive it.

"Must've had help from the inside." Kaidan couldn't help looking at Shepard. _If only she didn't have the helmet on. If she knew what was going on, I'd be able to tell..._

"You could be right." She sounded uncertain.

"No way they could take this facility with less than a full battalion."

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, making sure she didn't do anything strange. _Who knows, the Illusive Man could have put a chip in her head, ready to switch on a moment's notice. _During his research of Cerberus, he had come across reports of the Illusive Man, and everything he had read made him feel ill.

"Commander, I thought you told Cerberus to screw off after you wiped out that Collector base they were after." Vega's loud voice echoed in his helmet. Shepard laughed, the first real laugh he had heard from her since his the conversation he listened in on, almost a year ago. It made his chest feel tight in a way he had forgotten.

"That's exactly what I did."

"Well one things for sure. They're no friend of the Alliance."

"Agreed."

Cautiously, they jogged up the ramp into the facility loading area. Shepard hit a few buttons on the control panel, sealing the large door behind them. _I have to make sure she isn't walking us into a trap, even if she doesn't know it.  
><em>

"Shepard. I need a straight answer." He walked up to her, closing the distance between them so he could see her eyes through her visor. _The last time I looked at her like this, she was about to get spaced..._

"Kaidan..." She looked up at him with annoyance in her voice. _She can't blow me off like that anymore. Technically, I outrank her now. _

" Don't "Kaidan" me. This is business." Her eyes went wide. _Have I ever stood up to her before? _"Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

"What makes you think I know what they are up to?" There was an edge to her voice, Kaidan knew he was treading on thin ice, but he didn't care. He had loved her, lost her to fire and death, found her again, then was abandoned by her for a company of traitors and terrorists. If she wasn't who he thought she was now, the consequences were dire. His head buzzed with confusion and frustration.

"You worked for them, for god's sakes. How am I not supposed to think that?"

"We joined forces to take down the Collectors. That's it." She turned her back to him angrily. Vega cleared his throat and awkwardly backed away from them.

"There's more to it. They rebuilt you from the ground up. They gave you a ship, resources..." He wasn't going to let her back out of this. _I want to believe her, but I have to be sure. I need to know.  
><em>

"Let me be clear." She spun back around, her helmet mere inches from his. "I've had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base. An d I have no idea why they're here now, or what they want."

"Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth." Vega interjected cautiously. "There's no way they've communicated since."

_Dammit, I am such an ass. Why can't I just trust her? If she didn't hate me after Horizon, I bet she does now.  
><em>

"Sorry, Shepard. Its just that..."

A loud hissing noise cut him off as the pressure equalized. Shepard took her helmet off, shaking out her hair before looking back up at him.

"You of all people should know what I'm about, Kaidan." She said softly. He took his helmet off as well, and looked down at her. She wasn't as pale as she had been on Horizon, and her freckles were coming back across her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were large, pleading. _Dammit. Those fucking eyes. I'd probably shoot myself if she told me to._ "Please... trust me."

He took a step back from her, distancing himself from his distracting emotions. _All I want to do right now is hold her, but we have to find Liara and get back to the Normandy. _

"I do. I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." He stopped trying to find words, and walked over to a small railing as the platform they stood on rose up into the main warehouse for the facility.

They made their way silently through the room, until a series of loud bangs sent them running for cover. Guns drawn, they listened to the noise get closer, until Liara came crawling out of a ventilation duct above them. She spun around, used her biotics to fling her Cerberus pursuers into the air, and shot them coldly before turning to face the squad.

Shepard and Kaidan holstered their guns, but Vega kept his rifle trained on Liara.

"Easy there, Lieutenant." Shepard pushed his barrel down. "She's with us."

"Shepard! Thank the goddess you're alive!"

"Liara." Shepard reached up and clasped the Asari's shoulder.

"I was worried when the reports came in. They hit Earth hard?"

"Yeah. It was hard to leave like that." Kaidan stepped up behind remembered how flustered Liara had been with combat when they had first picked her up. _So much has changed since then..._

"Kaidan." She look at him curiously, then glanced over at Shepard, who gave a short nod. "I'm sorry." She turned to fully face Shepard. "But, why did you come here?"

"Hackett ordered us to come. Said you'd know what was going on."

"I do." Liara walked over to a small window overlooking the complex.

"Hallelujah." Vega let his shoulders drop. "Some answers, finally."

"Maybe. I've discovered plans for a Prothean device. One that could wipe out the Reapers."

"Here? On Mars?" Shepard joined the Asari at the window.

"In the Prothean Archives, yes."

"We've known about the Archives for decades. Why now?"

"Process of elimination, mixed with a little desperation. When you destroyed the Alpha Relay, you bought us some time. But then you were under investigation. I knew I had to do something. Hackett knew it too. He contacted me, asking if I would use my resources as the Shadow Broker to find a way to stop the Reapers." Kaidan exchanged a quick confused glance with Vega. _Liara is the Shadow Broker? What the hell? When did that happen?_ "My search led me here. Hackett gave me access to the Archives, and kept me updated on your status. I meant to come see you, but..."

"I was under house arrest. There wasn't much I could do to help you, anyway."

"I suppose you're right. In any case, my work paid off. The Archives are full of data. An overwhelming amount. I think I found what we need."

"I guess I'll believe it when I see it. Where do we find this weapon?"

"Its not a weapon... not yet. Its plans for a device. A blueprint."

Shepard sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Kaidan felt his fingertips tingle with the urge to do the same, and quickly balled his hands into fists.

"Its more than we had a minute ago. How do we get it?"

"The archives are just across that tramway. Assuming Cerberus hasn't locked it down." Liara pointed out the windows to another building.

"What are they after?" Shepard glanced at Kaidan out of the corner of eye. _Is this how she's trying to prove she's not with them?_

"Yeah, they seemed hell bent on catching you." Vega said.

"They want what I'm here for. What we're all here for."

"But why?" Shepard leaned forward, practically resting her head on the thick glass.

"The Protheans came close to defeating the Reapers. They had plans to destroy them, but they ran out of time."

"And anything powerful enough to destroy the Reapers..." Kaidan felt the thought forming in his head.

"Just might be something Cerberus is interested in." Shepard finished his sentence, giving him a small smile. They stared at each other, as if neither one wanted to break the gaze first.

"So it's a race to the archives." Vega said, popping the heat sink out of his rifle.

A loud groaning noise from the far end of the room caught everyone's attention, forcing Shepard to turn away from Kaidan. Something was prying its way through a set of sealed doors on the second level.

"We've got company." Shepard unclipped her rifle from her backplate, and checked her heatsinks.

"Bring it on." Vega came up next to her, his giant body dwarfing her. _He must have been a good guard. He's nearly twice her size! _ Shepard looked up at him and shook her head quickly.

"Not this time, James."

"What?"

"Get back to the shuttle." She gestured with her head. "If Cerberus beats us to the archives, I need you covering the exits."

"But..."

"Now, Lieutenant."

He glared at her, then took off running back to the platform they had come up on.

Kaidan looked up at the door. There were clamps in it, and the muffled sound of Cerberus troops could be heard.

"I hear them. We should take cover." He followed Liara and Shepard to a large pile of crates and pulled out his sidearm.

"Looks like they found us." Liara hissed as the doors shot open.

A small squad of Cerberus troops burst into the room, firing down at them.

"Shit!" Shepard muttered as a shot went past her head. "I hate having the low ground. Liara, can you get them up so Kaidan and I can pick them off?"

Liara nodded and sent her biotics out to fling the troops into the air. Shepard and Kaidan stood, taking them down systematically. Letting them collapse in a heap, they stood still for a moment, straining to hear if any more were coming.

"That's all of them." Liara said, after a few moments brought no new troops.

"Good. Let's find a way up."

As they made their way towards a ladder at the far end of the room, Shepard shot a glance over at Kaidan.

"Nice pistol." She said with a grin. "Someone put a lot of time and care into modding that."

He ran his fingers over his sidearm and gave her a nervous smile back.

"Yeah. Its a good gun. Its got... sentimental value."

Liara went up the ladder first, quickly getting to the top to check for Cerberus. Shepard grabbed a rung, and climbed up a few steps before looking down at Kaidan.

"I'm glad you kept it."

"I don't throw away good things, Shepard."

Her face went red, and she scrambled up to the top and out of sight. _What am I doing? Can we go down this road again? Does she even want to? She spent so long on the SR2, and with Vega... has she moved on? I mean, her crew knew me as 'the ass from Horizon.' _He shook his head and followed Shepard up the ladder. _Lets get back to the Normandy before I bring it up. This is not the place for this conversation. I should also make sure she's not a Cerberus spy before finding out what happened to us.  
><em>

"How'd Cerberus get into the facility?" He called out to Liara as he reached the top of the ladder and followed her down a hallway towards a security outpost.

"Not sure. One moment we were getting reports of the Reaper invasion, the next, there was chaos. Didn't even realize it was Cerberus at first." She answered.

"Could they be working with the Reapers?"

"Doubtful, but I suppose anything's possible." She frowned. "We'll need access to the pedway. Controls should be nearby."

She sat down at the desk, quickly bringing up the system controls. A scowl crossed her blue face, and she looked up at Shepard.

" Dammit. Security's been tampered with. Shepard, see if you can gain access to the pedway. I can't seem to unlock the live feeds, but..."

Kaidan walked to the back of the room where a screen was playing a loop of footage from earlier in the day. A dark haired woman ran into focus, looked up at the camera, then ran off.

"Did you see that? Who's that woman in the vid?" He called out to Liara.  
>"That's Doctor Eva Core. She got here about a week ago." She turned back to Shepard. "Any luck?"<p>

Shepard shook her head.

"Pedways been locked out."

"All right. Looks like there's construction nearby. We can get out on the roof. We can find a way around from there."

"Great. Let's move."

Clipping their helmets back on, they made their way out through an airlock and onto the roof of the facility. Kaidan took a moment to look out across the landscape to the oncoming storm.

"That storm's getting close!" he called to Shepard, and pointed out at it. As he looked down from the storm to the archives, movement caught his eye. A tram was making its way towards the archives, with heavy gunfire following it. "What the hell is that?"

"Looks like the Alliance is still putting up a fight."

"That tram heads to the archives. Once Cerberus is across, they're at the final security checkpoint." Nervousness was creeping into Liara's voice, whatever they had found at the archives must be huge.

"Then that's where we're headed!" Shepard took off running again, but only made it a few feet before Vega's voice came over the comms, heavily distorted by static.

"Commander, you read me?"

"Barely! The storm's causing interference!

"Yeah, tell me about it! I've lost contact with the Normandy! What's your po...?"

"I didn't read that! James! Repeat!"

A roar of static was her answer.

"Dammit!"

"That storm's going to be in here very soon..." Liara said, as they approached the next building.

"Yeah, I can..."

"This airlock shouldn't be open!" Liara ran forward into the open room, cutting off Shepard mid-sentence. Thoughtfully, Kaidan checked the seal.

"Doesn't look like it was forced open."

"No, you have to override security protocols."

Shepard peered down into the large room below us.

"It looks like the powers off. Be careful." She flicked the light on her gun on, and set off cautiously ahead of them. She made it ten feet before she stopped. Coming up behind her, Kaidan was horrified at what he saw. A small pile of bodies lay on the floor, their faces contorted in pain and terror.

"Someone vented the air from this room while they were still here." Liara sounded shocked.

"Looks like they died trying to claw their way out." They looked at each other.

This is brutal, even by Cerberus standards."

Shepard didn't say anything, instead making a hissing noise under her breath before taking off running. She bolted down the stairs, hopped over a half wall, and barreled into the security office.

Chasing after her, Liara called out.

"We need to pressurize the room first!"

Shepard was already working on it, they heard the door they had come in through slam shut behind them, and the hiss of pressurization fill the area. Kaidan stopped to take a look around as the lights came on. _Fuck. This was the cafeteria. These people were just eating and relaxing, when all the air went out. _He felt sick.

By the time they caught up with Shepard, they were able to take their helmets off again.

"There we go. We have access to the labs. They'll take us right to the tram station." Liara pointed towards another set of doors.

Kaidan looked down at a security monitor with several files available.

"Hey, there's a recording of what happened here." Shepard and Liara gathered around him, and he started the footage.

It seemed to be pretty nondescript, one of the guards was using a terminal in the foreground, with a coworker behind him.

"Security station, come in..." He said. "We're seeing some odd activity down here. Our security protocols just kicked in. Everything's locked down." He turned as Doctor Core came into view. "Doctor, I'll get you..." He was cut off as she pulled out a pistol and gunned him and his partner down with two quick shots. As he slumped forward, he knocked over the camera, dropping it onto its side so it gave a distorted view of the woman accessing the environmental controls.

Kaidan couldn't bring himself to look at the other screens. Based on Liara's face, he bet it was footage of the rooms getting vented. He stepped out of the room, and leaned up against the wall.

"I guess we know how Cerberus got in." He heard Shepard say behind him.

"I should have realized it when I met her. I was just so focused on finding a way to stop the Reapers." Liara sounded genuinely upset.

"Stopping the Reapers is the only thing we should be focusing on. Its not your fault."

"But what if we're wrong? What if there's no way to stop them? What if these are our last days and we spend them scurrying around trying to fix a problem we can't fix?" The Asari's voice cracked.

"Come on, Liara." There was a warmth in Shepard's voice. She always had a way to make everything seem like it was going to be fine, even if she didn't believe it herself.

"I know. I shouldn't think that way. I don't know how you do it. You've always stayed focused, even in the worst situations."

"There's so much at stake, I just think about what I'd lose if I fail."

There was a long pause in the conversation, and he looked back at the women. He was surprised to see Shepard staring at him. He caught her glance for a moment, before she quickly turned back to Liara.

"That's a terrible burden." Liara looked at Kaidan, then back to Shepard.

"We'll stop them, Liara. Together."

"Thanks. I want to believe you." _So do I. _Liara finished accessing the computer. "Okay, door's open. We can get to the labs and tram station through there."

"Good. Let's move." Shepard rushed past him without looking up, and he got a hint of redness on her face. _What the hell was that? Is there actually a chance she still feels anything for me but anger?_

They met little resistance on their way through the labs, but the amount of dead scientists told them they were going in the correct direction. Passing through one of the smaller labs, a wave of air hit them, smelling of chemicals and burned flesh.

"God, what's that stench?" Kaidan tried to hold back a gag.

"They just activated the decontamination protocols." Liara said, holding her hand over her face.

"With the staff still inside?" Liara nodded.

Shepard was pale, but held a look of fierce anger on her face. _I know how much she takes it personally when civilians get killed. This whole day must be hitting her hard. _

"This is where they studied the various relics unearthed here." Liara continued as they passed through the lab.

"What did they find?" Shepard's voice was curious.

"More than I could describe in a short conversation. And they'd only scratched the surface. There are vaults filled with Prothean data that have never been studied." She pointed down the hallway. "That's the tram line, Takes us right to the Archives." She frowned. "No doubt Cerberus has it locked down. Hopefully we can override it at the security station. Its just through here."

They turned the corner and were greeted by a hail of automatic gunfire. As they dove for cover behind a small crate, a ceiling mounted turret followed their every move.

"Heads up!" Kaidan called out. The small space they had for cover forced him to lean over Shepard, as if he was shielding her with his body.

"That's an understatement." Shepard looked up at him, eyebrows raised. He felt his face start to go red, and tried to fight it.

"I take it that's the only way in?" He looked towards Liara.

"Its the only way I know of!" The Asari shrugged apologetically.

"We'll skirt around it. Stay out of its sights." Shepard tried to move past him, but Kaidan put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down.

"I'll move up first." _I can distract it. If it hits me... only my students will be out of luck. Hell, they might be already. But Shepard and Liara have to get to the Archives._ "Don't let it target you!"

He took off running, sliding into cover behind behind another wall up. The tracking on the turret was slightly off, always half a second or so behind him.

"If we all move at the same time, I think we can get past it!" He called back. "Get ready to move!"

As he set off for the next half wall, he saw Shepard and Liara slip out of their cover. It was a nerve wracking few minutes as they made their way slowly around the room, but finally they were out of the range of the turret.

"Everyone okay? No one got hit?"

"Kaidan, if someone got hit, you'd know by now." Shepard looked at him, trying hard to hide a smile.

"Right."

Liara sat down at the console and started typing furiously.

"I'm having a hard time with the override. But I think I've got the live security feed back up..."

A small screen clicked on, Doctor Core and a Cerberus troop were arguing loudly.

"Set up a perimeter. No one else comes across!" She was yelling at him.

"We still have teams on the other side..."

"No one. And shut down those cameras!" She pulled out her pistol and shot the camera, reducing the video feed to static.

"Looks like they've made it to the Archives." Liara said with a grimace.

"And I doubt they'll just send us a tram." Kaidan sighed.

"Can you override it?" Shepard leaned over Liara, staring down at the console.

"The Archives are on a separate network. We're completely locked out." As Liara sat back in the chair, Kaidan's mind started to race. _If we can't override the system, _t_here has to be a way for them to send a tram to us. That soldier sounded pretty pissed about leaving his squad. _

"Not if we can find a short range communicator. Helmet to Helmet." Shepard turned to look at him.

"And...?" She leaned back against the security console, arms folded across her chest.

"And we convince them that we're on their side. Tell them the Alliance forces have been taken care of."

"Good idea. See what you can find." She pointed to the next room, where a Cerberus soldier lay amongst some scientists.

He was just through the door when he heard her voice again, slightly muffled, but obviously exasperated.

"What?"

"The Major has become very... capable." Liara sounded like she was teasing Shepard.

"That he has." There was a strange tone to her voice, Kaidan couldn't quite pin it down. _Capable? _

He knelt down by the Cerberus soldier. A small wireless antennae gave away that his helmet was definitely wired for short range comms.

"Shepard! I found something." She came through the door and crouched down next to him.

"What've you got?"

"He's got a transmitter in his helmet. If I can..." He reached up and hit the release on the helmet. The visor popped up, revealing a gray face covered in thick veins. The eyes were glowing blue, without pupils. "My god. He looks like a husk."

"Yeah, but not quite. But they've definitely done something to him." She stared at him curiously.

"And by they, you mean Cerberus? They did this to their own guy? Is this what they did to you?" Again, the words came out before he could think them through. Shepard shot him a disgusted look and got to her feet. He stood up quickly as she turned her back towards him. But as he approached her to apologize, she spun around, short hair flying.

"How can you compare me to him?" She stared at him accusingly.

"Shepard, I don't know what you are. Or who... not since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know, you could be their puppet, controlled by the Illusive Man himself." All his doubt, his concerns, his worries, poured out in a rush.

"Kaidan..." Her face went soft, a hurt expression sweeping across it.

"Don't try to explain it . I don't think I'd understand anyway. I just want to know. Is the person I followed to hell and back, the person that I loved, are you still in there, somewhere?" _Dammit, I wanted to save this conversation for the Normandy, not for the middle of a war zone. Well, now she really knows how I feel. _Surprisingly she reached out, and softly placed her gloved hand on his arm.

"They didn't change me, Kaidan. Or how I feel about you. But words won't convince you, will they?"

_She still feels... But... Horizon... Cerberus... Three years...  
><em>

He was so shocked, he could barely get words out.

"Probably not." _Wait. Wrong words. No, no no.  
><em>

"I didn't think so. You were always stubborn." She gave him a half smile, and he had to laugh.

"Me?"

"Come on, let's see what Cerberus is up to. Maybe we'll both get some answers." She gave him a light punch to the shoulder, like Ashley used to do, and reached down to pull out the transmitter.

"Hello.. this is... uh... Delta team." She looked at Kaidan nervously and shrugged. "Anybody there?"

"Where the hell have you been?" A rough voice responded. "Never mind. What's your status?"

"We're at the tram station, waiting for extraction. All hostiles terminated."

"Roger that. Echo team will ride over and secure the station." Shepard clicked the transmitter off.

"Think they bought it?" Kaidan asked.

"If they didn't, they'll figure it out soon enough."

"We should flank them, hit them when they get off the tram."

"Good thinking... Major." Shepard shot him a grin that made his heart melt. _Dammit, she better be real. I couldn't handle it if she wasn't. _

As they made their way into cover, he looked over at her.

"Delta team?"

"There's always a Delta team." She called back.

They hid behind crates and waited as the tram hissed into the station. Kaidan flared his biotics, ready to push the troops back, when he felt pressure on his arm. Shepard was pushing his hand down, the blue lightning of his power crawling up her arm. He felt her tremble slightly and she looked up at him.

"Not yet." She whispered, and held up a frag grenade.

She crossed in front of him, stepped out from behind the crate, and lobbed the grenade with surprising accuracy. It bounced through the opening door of the tram, and exploded with a burst of shrapnel. The few troopers that weren't felled instantly staggered around blindly, easy pickings for Shepard's rifle.

"Where did you learn to throw like that?" Kaidan asked, mouth open.

"We picked up an old mercenary, Zaeed Messani. Spent a lot of time with him on the hanger deck with some duds. He's got an arm like you wouldn't believe."

She grinned as she made her way onto the tram. The amount of Cerberus troops that had been on it surprised them all.

"Damn, they really didn't want us getting in here."

Shepard gave a laugh, and they secured their helmets before starting the tram on its return trip.

They met little resistance on their way to the Archives, besides the few troops they were picking off, Kaidan figured the group on the tram must have been the last of the forces. As they entered the large room that housed the Archives, Liara bolted for the main console. Kaidan stared in awe. In the center of the room stood a large Prothean beacon, identical to the one they had found on Eden Prime. _Back when everything was relatively simple..._

As they walked towards it, a terminal booted up, and a hologram of a man stepped into view. Well dressed and smoking a cigarette, he glared at Shepard.

"Shepard." She and Liara froze, and spun to face him.

"Illusive Man." Liara snarled. _The Illusive Man? _Kaidan leaned forward curiously. The name had come up several times in his research of Cerberus, but no pictures of the man existed.

"Fascinating race, the Protheans." He gestured towards the beacon with his cigarette. "They left all this for us to discover. But we squandered it. The Alliance has known about the Archives for more than thirty years. And what have they done with it?"

Shepard folded her arms across her chest and glared.

"What do you want?"

"What I've always wanted. The data in these artifacts holds the key to solving the Reaper threat."

"I've seen your solution. Your people are turned into monsters."

"Hardly. They're being improved." Kaidan felt a chill go down his spine. _Well, this might be pretty definite proof she's not working for them...  
><em>

"Improved?"

"That's what separates up, Shepard. Where you see a means to destroy, I see a way to control. To dominate and harness the Reaper's power. Imagine how strong humanity would be if we controlled them."

"You've gone to far! The Reapers will kill us all if we don't stop fighting each other!"

"I don't expect you to understand, Shepard. And I'm certainly not looking for your approval. You were a tool. An agent with a singular purpose." Shepard's hands balled into fists. "And despite our differences, you were relatively successful." He turned to look behind him at something unseen. "But like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over."

"Enough talk." Shepard looked over her shoulder. "Liara!" She gestured with her head towards the terminal.

"Don't interfere with my plans, Shepard. I won't warn you again."

Shepard gave him a mocking salute.

"Duly noted."

"Shepard!" Liara called.

"What?"

"The data! Its not here!" The hologram of the Illusive Man smiled cruelly, and turned away before blinking off. "Its being erased!"

"Dammit! How's he doing it?"

"Its local. Someone's uploading the information."

Kaidan saw movement out of the corner of his eye, and stepped away to investigate. In a small alcove, Doctor Core was hard at work at a terminal.

"Hey!" He called out, pointing his pistol at her. "Step away from the console! Now!"

She spun quickly, kicking him squarely in the chest, knocking him backwards, before putting her fist through the terminal. She took off running towards the exit.

"She's got the data!" He yelled at Shepard as he struggled back to his feet. _Damn, that was strong. What the hell?_

"She's faster than she looks!" Liara yelled as they bolted after her.

"Stay close! We can't lose her!" Shepard called back.

They ran through the Archives, always a few meters behind the doctor. She scampered up a ladder, and burst open a hatch onto the facility roof. As they followed her, a strange thought struck Kaidan. _She's not wearing a helmet... _He didn't have time to voice the thought, Shepard was calling out to Vega over the comms.

"James! Do you read me? Cerberus has the data! Radio the Normandy, get them down here now!"

They followed the rogue scientist over barriers and up ladders. Finally, when they had her cornered on the highest point of the roof, a Cerberus shuttle swooped down and opened its cargo doors. She jumped on, and turned back to them with a smug expression.

"Dammit! James! Normandy! ANYBODY?" Shepard yelled into her comms. Kaidan's ears rang, and he felt her anger resonate in his bones. _We can't fail so soon..._

"I got this one!" Vega's voice accompanied the roar of shuttle engines. They looked up to see their shuttle bearing down on the Cerberus transport.

Kaidan barely had enough time to mentally curse Vega before the shuttles collided. They dove out of the way as burning wreckage crashed towards them.

When Kaidan pulled himself up, the Cerberus shuttle was completely ablaze. The Normandy shuttle was thankfully unharmed, save a few large dents, and it circled around to land behind them. He helped Liara to her feet, watching Shepard wave down their transport.

"We need the data!" Liara said to him, as she hobbled away towards Shepard. A loud crashing noise caused them all to turn back towards the Cerberus shuttle, as the door came flying off with a horrible squeal.

Doctor Core stood in the fire, her clothes and skin burned away to reveal synthetics and metal. Pushing Liara towards Shepard, Kaidan drew his pistol, and shot frantically at her. She was on him in seconds, her hand gripping his helmet. She lifted him off the ground, stretching his neck out as he dangled helplessly.

"Kaidan!" He heard Shepard yell behind him, her voice full of panic. "Let him go!"

The robot cocked its head to the side.

"Orders?" It said, tuning into some silent frequency. Whatever the response was, it seemed to please her. She spun around and slammed Kaidan up against the wreckage of her shuttle. He felt a rib crack as he hit a corner in the metal. With the wind knocked out of him, he couldn't even cry out.

"NO!" Shepard screamed desperately. His eyes already starting to go fuzzy, he saw her running towards him, pistol drawn. Slammed against the metal again, his head snapped back, and he felt every nerve in his neck twitch. The pain was incredible, worse than every biotic migraine he has ever experienced. A series of images flashed through his mind, childhood, his parents, BAaT, Shepard on Eden Prime, on Virmire, asleep in his arms. _Oh__ god I'm going to lose everything again._ More images flashed by, things new but somehow familiar. A little house on a hill, a small boy with his eyes, but her freckles... and then everything was fire, smoke and screaming. I_ only ever wanted to be with her... was that too much to ask? _He hit the wall again, and his body shut down as a reaction to the pain. He had a sensation of falling to the ground before everything faded to black. A few minutes later, he woke to excruciating pain, and tried to open his eyes, but couldn't force them open. He felt the sting of MediGel, and the buzz of far off voices.

"...medical attention! We have to leave the Sol system."

"I know."

"The Citadel is our best chance. We can..."

"Hold on, Kaidan..." He heard Shepard whisper to him, and felt the soft pressure of her hands on his, the only feeling he had that wasn't pain. Then the darkness overtook him again, and he slipped into nothingness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kaidan opened his eyes, expecting everything to hurt. He stretched his arms out, breathing in deeply. _What's going on? I know I felt a rib crack... _He looked around, surprised to find himself in the Normandy's med bay... on the old SR1. _Dammit. Damn stupid dreams again. _He sat up and dangled his legs off the edge of the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he tried hard to focus, but everything was slightly blurry, and the Normandy crew seemed dark shades of themselves.

Holding onto the wall to stabilize himself, he made his way towards his old station. As he passed the mess table, the shade of Garrus argued silently with Ghost Ashley. Kaidan smiled to himself, shaking his head slowly. He lowered himself onto the bench he used to sit on with Shepard, tipping his head back against the wall. _Am I dead, or close to it? I've almost died so many times, you'd think this was old news. _Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, a shadowy figured walked up to him and stopped, awkwardly shifting its weight. _Shepard. _He stood and faced it... her, as he had so many times when they had spoken before, gingerly testing the waters of mutual attraction. As he looked closer, she shimmered into focus, but her eyes looked past him, as if she didn't see him at all.

"Kaidan?" Her voice sounded as if it came from behind thick glass, muffled and distorted. "Oh god, its hard seeing you like this." It cracked, as if she was holding back tears. "Don't know if you can hear me, But since you can't tell me to get the hell out, either... I'm going to take my chances." He reached out to grab the shade, to shake her and tell her he could, but his fingers passed right through. "Don't die, Kaidan. You've got to fight. We need you in this. Seeing you in action again... it reminded me you're a hell of a soldier. The Alliance could sure use you. I could use you." She started fading into shadow again. _I have to wake up! Shepard! Don't leave me here!_ "You need anything, Doc, you let me know." _Shepard! Please..._ "Come on, Kaidan. Fight. And that's an order."

She was gone, sinking back into the silence of the old Normandy. Kaidan sat back down on the bench, head in hands. _Was she really here? Or wherever I am? Or did I make this up to comfort myself as I die? Is this just a sad, medication induced hallucination? _As if to answer his question, everything distorted, and faded out of view, sending him back into sleep.

He woke again, and tried to take a breath. This time, his ribs protested and he groaned in pain.

"Good morning, Major. Nice to see you awake!" A cheery woman's voice called out to him. He looked around the small room to see a doctor standing at the end of his bed.

"Where..."

"Huerta Memorial Hospital. You're on the Citadel, solider. Everything is going to be alright."

"How long have I been out?"

"Just a few days. You broke a few ribs, and your implant got knocked loose. No biotics for you, for a while at least."

"My implant?" He gingerly reached for the back of his neck, feeling fresh stitches where his usual small scar had been.

"We had to do a neural splint. I'm not going to lie, it was pretty dicey for a while. We weren't sure if you were going to pull through." She sighed, handing him a small datapad. "If you wouldn't mind sending a short message to your Commander letting her know you're alive, that would be helpful."

"My Commander?"

"Yes, she came by to check on you while you were out, and put the fear of god into some of the doctors. If you had died, I'm pretty sure she would have come back with a bloody vengeance."

"Shepard was here?" _I didn't imagine that?_

"Yes. Now send her a short message, then I'm going to put you back under. We need to run some more tests, and I don't think you want to be awake for them."

Kaidan scrambled to type, his fingers felt thick and clumsy, but he managed to get out a short message.

"Heard you came by while I was out.

Thanks, Commander.

I'm up, most of the time, at least.

-Kaidan"

The nurse took the datapad back from him, and adjusted his pillow.

"Don't worry, Major. You're in good hands. You should be ready for visitors after this procedure. Now sleep." She adjusted some dials on her omnitool, and he nodded off.

What seemed like minutes later, he opened his eyes, struggling to breathe. After a few gasping breaths, he pulled himself up, and looked down at his bare chest. A large black bruise spread over most of it, fading to blue and purple as it made its way towards his neck. _Holy shit. How am I not dead? _An unfamiliar chuckle from the corner startled him, he snapped his head up, then gasped in pain as it pulled at his stitches.

The strange green man sitting in the corner coughed quietly, then walked over to him.

"Try not to move, you'll only make the pain worse..." Placing a scaly hand on Kaidan's shoulder, he pressed down gently.

"Are you a doctor?"

"No." He shook his head. "I am a patient here as well. There was an argument in the waiting room, and you were asleep, so I was using your room to meditate. I hope you do not mind." He coughed again.

"I don't mind. If you don't mind me asking..." He took a ragged breath, winced, and continued. "What are you in for?"

"Kepral's syndrome. It is the bane of my people." He noticed the curious look on Kaidan's face. "The Drell. You have not seen one before, have you? No? We tend to stay out of Council space." He coughed again. "My lungs cannot take in enough oxygen, and I will soon die. But I have made peace with it."

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"Do not be. I have done a great many things with my life. Traveled the galaxy, met new races, and amazing people."

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to getting back to that. There are a lot of things I need to take care of."

The Drell nodded his agreement.

"Good things?" Kaidan felt himself smile. "Ah. A good woman?"

"You could say that. There are some things I need to set right."

"Yes, you do."

"Wait... what?"

"My people possess eidetic memory, Major. We do not forget anything, we can relieve our pasts in our minds." His eyes went wide. "Everyone is laughing, cards on the table. Her eyes glance up to her desk, a shadow of sadness crosses her face as she looks at a picture of a man. She shakes it off, but the sadness stays in her eyes..." Returning to normal, he looked back at Kaidan. "You were once very close to Shepard, but something drove a wedge between you."

"You traveled with Shepard?"

"Yes. I joined her team to destroy the Collectors. She carries a lot of pain. I hope when you are well, you can distract her from some of it."

He stood, and walked over to the bed.

"Major Alenko. I wish you well in your recovery. You seem to be an honorable man."

"How do you know my name?"

"I read your chart." He pointed to a nearby monitor. "I am Thane Krios, although that is not the name they know me here as. If you are here, then I know Shepard will be back. I greatly desire to speak to her again, before I die. I will see you again." He nodded curtly, and left the room.

_What the hell just happened? Who are all these people Shepard was running around with? _He adjusted his blankets, and stared out the large windows at the Citadel Presidium. _I guess Joker wasn't lying when he said Shepard had my picture on her desk. Even after Horizon? _

His thoughts were interrupted as the door opened, revealing Councilor Udina.

"Councilor!" He struggled to sit up.

"Don't worry, Major. Just stay where you are. I don't want you getting any more hurt." He pulled up a chair and sat down next to Kaidan. "I have an offer for you, when you are recovered."

"An offer?"

"Yes. I think its high time we had another human Spectre. You have a superb resume, you were on the ground level of the Battle of the Citadel during Saren's attack, and you've remained _completely loyal to the Alliance_."

The last words were carefully enunciated, hammering in what Udina wanted. _He wants the another Shepard, but one unlikely to go off on their own devices. One that will follow his orders. Is that me? He's never liked Shepard._

"I'm honored, sir. I just don't know if I'm in any position to make that decision right now." He winced as he tried to take a deep breath. "Please, if you don't mind giving me some time to think it over, let me get back to full strength..."

"Of course. I'll be back soon." He stood, and patted Kaidan gingerly on the shoulder. "I look forward to your answer, Major."

As the Councilor left, Kaidan reached out for the datapad on his small table. _I should sent Shepard an actual message._

"Subject: Doc says I'm ready for visitors

Hey Shepard,

Through some combination of a medical miracle and dumb luck, I survived the beating I took on Mars. The doctors say I'm still not ready to be released, but I'd really like to see you if you can spare the time.

Councilor Udina offered to make me a Spectre. Still thinking about whether or not I should accept. Stop by my room at the hospital when you're on the Citadel. I'd like your advice.

Thanks,

Kaidan"

The next two days were excruciatingly boring. The scenery outside his window never changed, it was always daytime on the Presidium, and the nurses wouldn't let him eat anything solid. He knew it was bad when his twice daily acupuncture was the highlight of the day.

"I feel fine!" He complained, as a doctor checked the stitches on his neck. "My ribs are sore, but it doesn't hurt to breath anymore!"

"Just a few more days, Major." She frowned down at him. "We just need to run a few more tests..."

"You've done so many!"

The door opened behind them, and Udina stomped in. Kaidan groaned, he had pretended to be asleep the last few times the Councilor had come by. He wanted Shepard's advice before he gave Udina an answer.

"Major! Good to catch you awake."

"Yes, sir."

"Have you put any thought into my question?"

"I've been trying, sir." The door behind Udina opened, and Shepard stepped in, making a wide circle around the Councilor. She was in her casual uniform, with a black N7 sweatshirt over it. _She looks just like she did when we took shore leave. _His chest hurt, but not from his ribs. _I need to get Udina out of here. _

"I'd like an answer, Major. The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you. Now, more than ever." Udina glowered at Shepard.

"You'll have it soon, Councilor. I promise."

"I'll look forward to it." He stepped forward, and stared down his nose at the Commander. "Shepard."

"Udina." They glared at each other, before Udina left in a huff. She turned away from the closing door to look at Kaidan. "Hey..." Her voice instantly became soft, worried. The doctor looked at them both, and politely left the room.

"Shepard, hey. You just missed snack time. Actually, that's probably a good thing. Thanks for coming." _God, it feels good to see her. I haven't seen her in a non combat situation in so long. I haven't been alone with her since... the hallway. Right before she got spaced. _

"No problem." She sat down in the small chair next to his bed. "What did Udina want? Still thinking about the Spectre position?"

"Its a big honor. A huge responsibility. Just need to be sure. I am so ready to get out of here, Shepard." He sighed, feeling his ribs protest as he stretched. "You can't tell, but I'm tied to this bed by medical red tape. I mean Doc, Doc says I'm good to go, but then she always finds 'just one more test' to run."

"You doing okay?"

"My implant got a little... rattled, so Doc wants me to keep off the biotics for a bit. Its really no big deal."

She grinned, wild and mischievous.

"Need me to break you out?"

He gave a short laugh.

"I'll let you know." She set her hands down on the edge of the bed, her fingers brushing against his carefully.

"I'm glad you asked me to come. It's good to see you're going to be okay."

"Thanks." She shook her head, hair falling in her face as she looked down.

"You almost died on my watch. It was horrible to see. And I care about what happens to you." He voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

"Me too." Kaidan lifted his hand, and placed it on hers. She looked up, eyes wide. "That means a lot, Shepard." He pulled his hand back, unsure of her reaction. "So I just want to be sure, after Mars... after Horizon... You and me... we're good?"

She looked away, out at the Presidium.

"We've been through hell together. Had each other's backs. That kind of bond is hard to break."

"But no, not just that. You were my Commander, sure, but you listened, too. And when I told you about how Rahna broke my heart, you didn't judge me." She wrinkled her nose at the mention of Rahna, and murmured something that sounded like 'twit' under her breath. Kaidan pretended to ignore that. "You knew I needed that. We went through Ash's death together..."

"Yeah... we did." She sighed. "Are we going to be able to get past what happened on Horizon?"

"I'd like to, Shepard. As friends..." He took another deep breath. "As more than friends... I mean, I don't know. I just like having you in my life."

"So, how do we fix it?" She leaned forward, her hands on her chin.

"Maybe you should just know that I'm not seeing anyone... and that I still care."

"Kaidan..."

"Hey, look... There's a war on. And maybe you and me will never happen, but I needed you to know that. Cause, that's how we'll get past Horizon." She froze, her eyes flicking back and forth as if she was thinking frantically. "So, what do you say. Are we good?" She regained her composure, and looked up at him, a small smile on her face.

"We're good. It was great to have you back on the Normandy."

"Thanks. I'm really glad you came by. Talking like this, reminds me how much I like you." She gently reached up and stroked his arm absently with the back of her fingers. "We're good together." Her small smile broke into a grin.

"Feel like we've cleared the air?"

"Yeah. You know, I'm not sure I've been wrong about Cerberus... but I've been wrong about you."

As she nodded, her fingers traced their way up to his collarbone, stopping at the edge of his bruises.

"You've been injured. You sure you want right back into the thick of it?"

"Are you kidding?" He shivered at her soft touch. "I want to kick the Reapers straight to hell. Cerberus too. People near death say their lives flash before their eyes. The future flashed before me. The anguish, the families, the children... It made me determined to live. I need to do something, Shepard, to save at least a few lives."

"You said your implant got rattled. Everything good?"

"The medical gibberish was a bit more impressive, but that's what I took away, rattled. Found a great doc that's fascinated by the L2 implant. I'm kind of her pet project." Shepard raised her eyebrows."The headaches are as bad as ever, but she's got me on a regimen of acupuncture and meds, and some nasty tasting concoction. Won't tell me what it is. But my biotics are stronger than ever. Maybe some things get better with age..."

"Or maybe you have." She tilted her head, and grinned at him.

"Are you flirting with me, Commander? Wait, wait, don't tell me. Let me live in the illusion." He reached up carefully, and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger for a moment, gently cradling her face before pulling back and resting his hand on his chest.

They stared out the window for a few moments, letting everything that had just happened settle in. Finally, Shepard broke the awkward silence.

"You've been busy. Give me the update, Major."

"Heh... Major, yeah." He looked over at her, her face beaming with pride. _She's not upset I outrank her. She's proud of me. _

"Congrats. There's obviously been a lot going on."

"Anderson asked me to take over a Spec Ops program. First Special Operatives, Biotics Division. We're recruiting the most talented human biotics from around the galaxy."

She nodded, obviously impressed.

"What's the focus?"

"Covert, high risk missions. Turned it down at first, I mean, teaching? I prefer to get my hands dirty." She wormed her hand under his, and laced their fingers together.

"Anderson can be pretty persuasive."

"Yeah, bit of a hard ass, but you can't argue with his kind of experience. Wouldn't take no. Said it had to be me."

"With your history, you're the perfect choice." He squeezed her hand gently. _I can't believe how much I've missed her. I never thought this would happen again. Never in a million years. _

"True, human biotics are... we're different, freaks even. Most people in the galaxy still see us that way. But accepting it, embracing it, can be the difference between success and sitting at home in your Pjs taking red sand."

He shifted his weight, trying to turn towards her. She gently pushed him back down, shaking her head.

"Where's your family? Are they safe?"

"My family? My parents live in Vancouver. But Dad's family owns an orchard in the BC interior. They were headed out there on a shuttle the day of the attack." She grimaced.

"Heard from them?"

"No, not yet. But I hope, I'm hoping Dad's Alliance training has kept them safe. Must be killing them, not knowing where I am." He squeezed her hand again, taking comfort in her warmth.

The door opened behind them, the doctor appearing with an apologetic look. Kaidan sighed.

"I should let you get back to the Normandy. Wish I could come with you."

"Take care of yourself, Kaidan. We need you at a hundred percent." She reluctantly pulled her hand away from his, letting it linger on his chest before putting it in her pocket.

"Will do. Thanks for coming by."

She stood up, nodded at the doctor, and left the room. As the doors closed behind her, she turned and raised her hand in farewell.

Kaidan ran a hand though his hair. _She doesn't hate me, and she wants... she wants... us. Me. _

"So that was the famous Commander Shepard?" The doctor asked, looking at Kaidan out of the corner of her eye. "She doesn't look as badass as people describe."

"She's a complete badass." Kaidan said, indignantly. "Is she not allowed to be human? Not allowed to be worried for a friend?" He glared at the doctor. _You go out in the field with her. You deal with all the things she does on a daily basis. Everything she's been through in the last three years. Then you find a moment to be soft. _He sighed, trying to hold onto the memory of her touch. S_he still feels like she can be soft around me. She still trusts she can be herself. I need to get out of this damn hospital. Maybe if I take the Spectre status, I can use that to get out of here, and back on the Normandy. Back to her. I just hope Udina doesn't have other things he wants me to do. _

He decided to sleep on it, hospital food wasn't giving him the strength he needed to stay awake through a whole day. He closed his eyes, and drifted into peaceful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Everyday for the next week, Kaidan was glued to his datapad. There was no news of Shepard on the extranet, but his friend Stevens in intelligence was funneling him information about her current mission. The latest message was cryptic, but telling.

"Subject: Hot damn.

Alenko,

Whatever your girl is doing, its huge.

She's royally pissed off the Salarians, and been spotted in the Krogan DMZ.

Do you happen to know her thoughts on the genophage?

Anyway, when you decide to get off your ass and take Spectre status, you're buying drinks, Mr. Bigshot."

-Stevens

PS. Elsa says hi. She wants to check you over personally, she doesn't like the doctors at Huerta."

_She's trying to cure the genophage? What does that have to do with the Reapers? _He leaned back in his bed. _I wish I was helping. _Stretching his arms out, he yawned and reached out with his biotics to grab an apple off his tray. The nurse at the end of the bed frowned, and snatched it out the air.

"You can't have this yet, Major. You have to wait till the doctor brings your meds."

He rolled his eyes at her, and stood up from the bed. Crossing the room, he plucked it out of her hands.

"Its an apple. I'll be fine." He took a bite out of it, and returned to his datapad to send Shepard a message.

"Subject: Feeling much better.

Hey Shepard,

Still in the hospital. But I'm up on my feet, eating solid food, and making trouble for the nurses. They'll probably throw me out of here soon.

Come by if you're on the Citadel. Same room.

Thanks,

Kaidan"

He set the datapad down, and spent the next few hours practicing moving small things with his biotics. They weren't back to full strength, but he hated not being able to use them. Every once in a while, he caught sight of Thane walking past his door, but never coming in. _Its like he's guarding me. But from what? _The door opening caught Kaidan off guard, he scrambled to his feet as Udina walked in.

"Major. Good to see you up and about. I trust that you have come to a decision?"

"Yes, Councilor. I've decided to accept your offer."

Relief crossed Udina's face. He breathed out heavily.

"That's the best news I've had in days, Major. I'll talk to the doctors, see if I can get you released later today."

"Yes, sir. That would be nice."

"We'll get you set up with a small room. I'd like to get you a full apartment near the Embassy, but with all the refugees coming in, space is tight."

"I understand, sir."

"We might be able to get a full formal ceremony set up, out on the presidium."

Kaidan flinched slightly. He wasn't a huge fan of pomp and circumstance.

"That's really not necessary, Councilor..."

"Nonsense. The people need something exciting. I'll let the ANN know immediately, so they can make the announcement. Now if you'll excuse me, I have several meetings to attend to. Paperwork to set up." He turned to leave, but hesitated at the door. "Come see me after you're released. I have something of a more... sensitive nature to discuss with you."

"Sir?"

"We'll talk later, Major." With a curt nod, he was gone.

_What the hell could he possibly... oh. Shepard. _Kaidan mentally kicked himself. _Of course. _

As if she knew he was thinking about her, she walked into the room a few hours later.

"Hey." She said, smiling broadly at him. "We were on our way back here for supplies when I got your message."

"Hey, Shepard. If you came to spring me, you're late. I'm getting out soon."

"Good to hear!" She joined him at the window looking out over the Presidium. He looked down at her, feeling her fingers brush against his.

"Maybe you already saw the vid, but I accepted Udina's offer."

"Spectre Kaidan Alenko. That's a big deal." She butted his side with her elbow and grinned up at him.

"Only the second Human Spectre. Its humbling. Udina thinks they may have a pretty big ceremony, even with the war. He says a celebration will give folks something hopeful to latch on to."

"You ready to take on that responsibility?"

He sighed, feeling his ribs strain a little.

"You set the bar pretty high, but I'll do my best. It strange... On Mars, I should have died. The promotion from Anderson, Spectre status... These are terrible days. But I've been lucky." He nudged her back.

"You're perfect for the job. On Eden Prime I could see there was something special about you. You're a good soldier." She turned to look up at him.

"That means a lot. I'm happy. I want to serve." He looked down at her, pivoting on his heels to face her. She was so close, the temptation to grab her was practically overwhelming.

"I thought... you might want to join the Normandy." A hopeful expression on her face. _Dammit, this is going to hurt. I want to go with her so badly. But I have to be responsible first. _

"Yeah, I have thought about that. I just need to get out of here first though, take care of some things. I've been trying to locate my old Spec Ops squad, my students, from Biotics Division."

Her face flushed, and she looked away.

"Any luck?"

"No. Probably went underground, but they'll turn up. If they were easy to find, they wouldn't be doing their jobs."

Well, let me know when you're out." She stepped away, turning back before she left the room. "Take care... Spectre Alenko."  
>"Stay safe, Shepard." She smiled sadly, before steeping out through the open doors and disappearing from view.<p>

He sighed, leaning against the window to stare out at the Presidium. _I'll use Steven's contacts to track down my people, then message Shepard, and have her pick me up next time she swings by the Citadel. How did this happen? Its seems so sudden... I guess she didn't give up on me._

Kaidan was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the doctor coming in behind him.

"Alright, Major!" She handed a datapad to him. "Just need your signature here, and you're good to go!"

He signed, and gave her it back to her.

"Thanks, Doc. I appreciate everything you've done for me."

She smiled, and patted him on the arm.

"You're welcome, Major. Now I hope to not see you back here for a long time."

As she and a nurse started stripping the bed, Kaidan headed out towards the main lobby. The Drell, Thane, was sitting off to the side, serenely gazing out at the view. Kaidan pulled a chair next to him and sat down.

"Ah, Major. Good to see you on your feet."

"Yes, I'm actually on my way out. How are you feeling?"

"I am not in pain as much as discomfort." He coughed quietly. "I was able to speak to Shepard, for which I am grateful. She seems... much happier."

"Were you close when you were on the Normandy?"

"Yes, but not in any way that you should worry about." Thane looked over at him. "We spoke about many things, she helped me with some problems. But she kept a side of herself guarded, even as her crew opened up to her."

Kaidan nodded.

"I should go, I have to report to Councilor Udina. But if there is anything you need, please, let me know. A friend of Shepard's is a friend of mine."

"I shall. Thank you."

They shook hands, and Kaidan stood to leave. Thane reached up swiftly and grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

"Major." The Drell spoke barely above a whisper. "Strange things are afoot. Stay on your guard." He let go of Kaidan and nodded. Heading towards the elevator, Kaidan wondered what he meant.

The trip down to the Embassies was quick, luckily for Kaidan the hospital was in the same section of the Presidium. He made his way through the waiting room and entered Udina's office. The councilor stood to greet him.

"Ah, Major. I'm glad you came."

"You asked me to, Sir."

"Yes, yes. Please have a seat." He looked around at his assistant, who nodded and left the room. Once the door had closed behind them, Udina took a seat. "I'm very glad you decided to accept my offer, Major. Your cooperation will be much needed in the coming weeks."

"I'm not sure I understand, Sir."

"I've been getting reports about Cerberus, and their plans towards the Citadel and the Council." He tossed a datapad towards Kaidan, who scanned them quickly. His eyes stopped when halfway down the page, his eyes caught the name Shepard.

"What does this have to do with Shepard?" He asked cautiously. Udina looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I have reason to believe she still has ties to them." Kaidan looked up sharply.

"Sir... I don't think..."

"Do you have proof, Major? Definitive proof that she is Commander Shepard, and not a Cerberus controlled spy?"

"Uh... On Mars, we saw the Illusive Man, or a projection of him... He and Shepard argued..."

Udina clasped his hands and set them on his desk.

"Did you maybe think that might have been a cover to fool you?"

"Well, Sir, she seemed pretty angry."

"Yes... I'm quite familiar with Shepard's temper." Udina's eyes narrowed. "And yours, Major." Kaidan swallowed hard. Apparently Udina had not forgotten about Kaidan calling him a bastard, back when the first Normandy was put on lockdown. "So your only proof... is that Shepard got angry?"

"Well, she came to see me in the hospital. We... talked." Udina's face remained skeptical. "Sir, I believe she's cut her ties to Cerberus. That she is who she says she is. I... trust her."

"And I believe she's using your past relationship to cloud your judgment."

Kaidan froze. _Udina knows about that? How?_

"Yes, Major. My contacts have information as well. I know what happened on the Normandy. I know what happened on Horizon." He leaned forward, his voice harsh. "Do you really think she would forgive you so quickly for the things you said? The way you dismissed her? She's smart. She knows you still have feelings for her, and she is going to use that to her advantage." _She wouldn't. That's not like her at all... _"Do you have any proof other than what she says, and the fact that you used to sleep with her?"

Kaidan looked down.

"No, sir."

"I want you to cut off communication with her and her associates."

"What?"

Udina held his hand up.

"If she is working with Cerberus, and they are planning something, I don't want her getting any information from you. These are dangerous times, Major."

"Sir, I really don't think-"

"Major." Udina snapped at him, then sighed. "Shepard can be very persuasive. But I think you know that already, probably better than most men." Kaidan felt his face go red. "Don't let her into your head. I need you at 100 percent, and I want you in your armor at all time. You never know when trouble will strike. Now, I have some important things to take care of, and I'm assuming you want to get settled into your new quarters. Thank you for your time."

He nodded at the door, and Kaidan let himself out, stopping as he stepped out into the hallway.

_Shepard wouldn't use me like that. She couldn't. We worked things out. _He frowned. _Although if Udina knows about us, then Cerberus certainly did. Could they have programmed her somehow to get close to me again? _He shook his head and sighed. _I don't even know what to think right now. I was so happy for a few moments... Why can't anything be simple?_

Several days went by before there was any news of Shepard. Kaidan was buying lunch on the Presidium when he heard her name coming from a large television. He quickly paid for his food and leaned against the wall to watch a woman with long dark hair speak blandly into a microphone.

"This is Diana Allers with Battlespace, here with Commander Shepard aboard the Normandy. Commander Shepard, you've just implemented a cure for the genophage. Millions of Krogan will start fighting the Reapers. What do you say to people who think humanity is starting another Rachni war and Krogan rebellions?"

The camera panned to Shepard, looking pale and washed out under the harsh lighting. A new cut ran along her forehead and she looked exhausted.

"Its easy to remember the worst of Krogan history, but you also need to remember the best."

"Meaning?"

"The Krogan were heroes once, and they want to be heroes again." She glanced up awkwardly as the camera zoomed in on her face. "We're giving them that chance."

"Are you aware that Clan Urdnot is already petitioning the Council for an embassy and rights to a colony world?"

"The Krogan are coming to the aid of a Council homeworld. That's more than a lot of species can say. I helped them get the genophage cure. Anything more is between the Council and the Krogan." She crossed her arms defensively as the camera turned back to the reporter.

"There it is, straight from Commander Shepard. Until tomorrow, this is Diana Allers. Goodnight, and stay strong."

"An seemingly impossible task, pulled off once again." Kaidan just as Thane came up behind him. "Shepard seems to excel at those."

"Yes, she does." He nodded. "Where did you come from?"

"I have been following you for several days now."

"I haven't seen you..." The Drell smiled.

"Of course not. I would have been ashamed if you had. Shall we sit?"

Kaidan hurriedly grabbed his lunch, and joined Thane at a small table.

"So why have you been trailing me?"

"I promised Shepard I would." _She's having me watched?_ "She worries about you."

"Right."

Kaidan glanced at his datapad, where the new message icon was flashing rapidly.

"Hang on, let me check these." _2 new messages? _

"Subject: I'm safe!

Kaidan,

Your father and I made it to the orchard safely. The Reapers haven't hit here yet, but we can see the glow of fires in the distance. The house in Vancouver is gone. Everything is destroyed.

Your father wants to fight. I tried to stop him, but he reported in with the Alliance. I haven't heard from him since. The Alliance won't tell me anything, and we were told not to use the extranet, The Reapers will track the signals. But I had to let you know where I am, and to tell you about your father.

I love you. So much. Be safe.

-Mom"

Kaidan set the datapad down on the table and stared off into the distance. _Dad's reported in? But he's retired..._ With a sigh, he checked the second message.

"Subject: Stopping by.

Kaidan,

I have a meeting with the Salarian councilor, would like to see you while I'm on the Citadel. I'll look you up when I get there. Should be arriving later today.

-Shepard"

_I bet the Salarian's are pissed about the genophage. _He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling where the stitches had been. He handed the datapad to Thane.

"Shepard's on her way back, if you wanted to see her."

Thane nodded.

"If you don't mind."

"Not at all. If you want to wait with me, I was just going to sit here, read, and enjoy the scenery. It almost reminds me of home."

"You are from Earth?"

"Yeah. Vancouver. It got... hit pretty bad by the Reapers. I just heard from my mother. Their house, the house I grew up in... its all gone."

"I'm sorry." Thane looked around. "Was Vancouver like this place?"

Kaidan laughed.

"Oh no. Much colder for most of the year. We really only had about a month of summer. Rest of the year it was gray and wet." He leaned back in his chair. "Shepard's actually from the same area, just a few hundred miles south."

They spent the next few hours discussing their homes, Kaidan talking about Earth, and Thane telling stories of being raised on the Hanar homeworld.

Kaidan had barely noticed the time going by, when an explosion rocked the Presidium. He stood up in a hurry, knocking his chair over.

"What the hell was that?"

He and Thane tuned their radios into the C-Sec frequency, and Kaidan gasped at what he heard.

"...Repeat, Cerberus troops have infiltrated the Presidium! They are heading for the Council!"

Kaidan quickly turned to Thane.

"I have to get to the Council! Its my duty to protect them!" He took off running, the Drell close behind.

"Major!" He heard Thane cough over the comms. "My lungs... go on ahead of me... I'll be behind you!" Nodding, Kaidan picked up speed.

He skidded around a corner at the Embassies, bursting into Udina's office.

"Is everyone alright?" He gasped, leaning up against the wall to catch his breath.

"Yes, Major. We're a little shaken, but we are alive." Tevros, the Asari Councilor placed her hand on his shoulder. Looking up, Kaidan saw Udina and Sparatus, the Turian Councilor, watching him from the far corner of the room.

"Where is Valern?" The Turian asked Udina.

"I'm not sure. We were supposed to meet here before a Council session... Do you have any idea where he might be?" He looked pointedly at Kaidan.

"He... had a meeting with Shepard."

"Shepard?" Udina's face went red. "I told you she wasn't to be trusted, Major!"

"We must get to safety." Tevros interrupted. "We can worry about Valern and Shepard later."

Kaidan nodded, and pulled out his pistol.

"I'll go ahead of you, lets get to the elevator. We can get to the shuttles from there."

They crept out of the office as another explosion shook the hallway.

"Everybody, move!" Kaidan yelled, ushering them out of the office. As Udina ran past him, Kaidan glanced into the office. A shuttle had crashed onto the small balcony, and Cerberus troops were crawling out. _Shit! _He hit the button to close and seal the door. "We have to go faster!"

The group ran past crowds of screaming people to the elevators.

"Take refuge in those offices!" He yelled to the civilians. "I need to get the Council out of here!"

As soon as the elevator arrived, he crowded them on, and started their trip upwards. He fidgeted nervously, running his fingers over his sidearm until the doors opened.

"Dammit, the shuttles are all gone!" He said in frustration. He put his hands on his head and spun to look at the council.

"There is another shuttle bay further down!" Udina pointed down a long walkway. "We just go that way, and then up."

"Right. That's what we'll do." They moved quickly, dodging fires and burning rubble.

"Major!" Udina called out from behind him. "Do you think this is a coincidence?"

"What?"

"Shepard just happens to have a meeting with Valern at the same time as Cerberus attacks?"

"I... I don't know..." _She couldn't... But if she is a sleeper agent... but she promised me she had cut ties... _He shook his head angrily. "Let's just get to the shuttles, Udina."

The second elevator moved much slower than Kaidan would have liked. They stood in silence as explosions below them echoed horribly.

"What's happening?" Sparatus said nervously, gripping the railings.

"I don't know..." The car shook violently as several large things landed on the roof.

"Whats that noise?" The Asari Councilor cried out.

"Gunmen! Get down!" Kaidan pushed her aside and fired at the roof, trying to aim where the noises came from.

"We're here!" Udina hit the stop button, and they rushed towards the door.

"Go!" Kaidan kept his gun trained on the ceiling, and as soon as the councilors were out, he turned and followed them down the hallway through a set of large doors. He swore when he realized the shuttle on the landing was on fire.

"Cerberus took out the shuttle! Everyone back to the elevator! Move!"

He spun around, gun drawn, and saw Shepard, flanked by Garrus and Vega, the doors closing behind them.

"Shepard, whats going on?" He asked cautiously. She had her own pistol trained on Udina.

"Shepard's blocking our escape! She's with Cerberus!" Udina yelled, trying to hide behind a large console.

"Just, Hang on-" Kaidan called over his shoulder. "I got this. Everyone calm down."

"I can explain this, Kaidan." She said softly.

"Come on, Shepard. Gun drawn on a councilor... kinda looks bad." _Oh god, was Udina right? Is she part of this?_

Sighing heavily, she lowered her gun.

"We don't have time to negotiate. You've been fooled, All of you. Udina's behind this attack. The Salarian Councilor confirmed it." _What? _Kaidan glanced at Garrus, who gave a quick nod.

"Please. You have no proof. You never do." Udina snarled at her, still keeping the console between them.

"There are Cerberus soldiers in that elevator shaft behind us." She pointed frantically behind her. "If you open that door, they'll kill you all."

"We've mistrusted Shepard before, and it did not help us." Tevros pointed out, her calm voice betrayed by her shaking hands.

"We don't have time to debate this. We're dead if we stay out here. I'm overriding the lock." Udina went to work on the console. Kaidan kept his gun drawn on Shepard, and with a heartbroken look in her eyes, she raised her own pistol and trained it on him.

They stared at each other as Kaidan's mind raced. _Do I trust her? Do I believe everything that she's said, that this is Udina's doing, that she's not a spy, that she still wants to be with me... Or do I listen to Udina? That she's playing me to get what she wants? _He looked into her eyes. _Dammit. Damn her and those damn eyes. If I'm wrong... _

"I better not regret this." He lowered his gun.

"You won't." The relief in her voice was almost palpable.

He turned away from her, aiming his pistol squarely at Udina.

"Udina, step away from the console."

"To hell with this!"

The Councilor focused his attention back onto the console. Tevros reached out to grab his hand, he responded by shoving her to the ground. With a glare at Shepard, Udina pulled out a small sidearm and pointed it at the Asari Councilor.

"He's got a gun!" Kaidan yelled, gripping his gun tighter. _Oh shit oh shit. How did this happen? Udina's lost it! He's going to kill her... _

The sound of a single gunshot echoed through the Presidium, and Udina slumped to the ground, a pool of blood growing from the gaping wound in his chest. He turned to see Shepard staring at him, her mouth open, pistol as her side. He looked down at his own, and saw that the heat sink registered one shot fired. _I did that without even hesitating. I killed a Councilor. I killed Udina. _He felt a wave of nausea sweep over him, but shook it off. _He was going to kill them all. He tried to turn me against Shepard. _

"Kaidan?" Shepard asked cautiously.

"Yeah. I'm good." _ I hope that was the right move. _

"The door!" Sparatus called out as the door behind them opened. The C-Sec captain stepped out, followed by several other officers.

"Bailey?" Shepard said, holstering her pistol.

"Made it as fast as we could, Shepard. Looks like you, uh, took care of things."

Having picked herself up off the floor, the Asari Councilor frowned.

"Somethings not right. You said Cerberus was targeting us. Where did their soldiers go?"

"Cerberus was right here, But they beat feet into the keeper tunnels when they figured out we were coming." Bailey said in a rough voice. "Sorry, Councilor, I'll say it plain. Shepard just saved the lot of you."

"Then you have saved my life twice now, Shepard. I owe you both a personal debt and one on behalf of Palavan." Sparatus stepped up and took Shepard warmly by the hand. Kaidan stared in shock. The Turian Councilor had always been the first to dismiss and distrust Shepard.

"You don't own me anything, Councilor. Times like this, we all stand together." _Look's like she's finally learned some diplomacy. _

"Commander, do you have any idea why the Illusive Man would do this?"

"No, I don't. But I plan to find out."

"All right people, principles are evacuated, we got a tunnel and a million more places to secure. Move it!" Bailey roared at his people.

Shepard turned to face Garrus and Vega.

"Right. Lets get those supplies for Adams, then get back to the Normandy. We have a lot to do now." She looked over at her shoulder apologetically at Kaidan, then followed Bailey down the hallway.

Kaidan leaned against the railing, watching a group of C-Sec officers clean up Udina.

_What's left for me here? Is there any reason for me to stay on the Citadel? I'm forever going to be the Spectre who killed his own Councilor. What do I do now? _He stared out at the fires on the Presidium until his radio buzzed.

"Major Alenko, its Admiral Hackett."

"Admiral!"

"I just heard about what happened with Udina. Don't worry, you won't be facing any discipline for it."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Major, I have an offer for you, if you'd like it. But I think you'll be needed elsewhere."

"Sir?"

"I won't give you too many details over comms, but if Commander Shepard doesn't take you on the Normandy, let me know."

"The Normandy, Sir?"

"I know you served with her before, and were with her when she left Earth. You do well keeping her in check. She tends to get... overzealous."

"Yes, Sir."

"Let me know if you decide to stay. Hackett out."

_Back to the Normandy? Back to Shepard. Shepard who wasn't lying about us..._

He took off running to the elevators, and returned to his cramped quarters. He stripped out of his armor and into a fresh uniform before he rushed down to the hanger docks. _I can have that delivered to the ship if she takes me back. _Thankfully, the Normandy was still secured at its berth. He had one set of airlocks open before he froze. _What if she won't have me? I did just point a gun at her head... and she had one aimed at me. Would she have done it, if I hadn't stood down? I remember what happened with the ExoGeni rep on Feros. She doesn't scare easy in standoffs. _

He leaned against the window, feeling the coolness of the glass seep into his skin. A few moments later, he jumped as the airlock to the Citadel opened. Shepard stepped through, looking startled as she saw him.

"Kaidan, hey. I wondered where you went. Whats up?"

"I'm trying to wrap my head around what just happened." He tried to keep his voice level, so many thoughts ran through his head. _Would you have killed me?_

"You sound angry." She spoke in the soft, calm tones she only used around her crew and friends.

"Not angry, just not every day you have an armed standoff with someone you love. How it all went down, its got me... I don't know." She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the wall.

"Okay, talk to me. Let's have it."

"If I hadn't backed down first, I feel like you would have taken me out." She sighed, and put her hand on his arm.

"I trusted you, and I knew you'd come around. That's all that matters. Main thing is we stopped the coup, and Cerberus is off the Citadel."

"But sometimes the way a thing goes down matters, Shepard. Later, when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity, then it matters."

"You're talking about Udina. You think he would have come in quietly? Kaidan, he gave you no choice. You had to take the shot." Turning away from her, he stared out the window at the Normandy. "You acted with integrity. I saw the whole thing."

"All right. Thanks." He peered down at her from the corner of his eye. "Look, Shepard, there's another reason I'm here." She looked up expectantly. "Hackett offered me a position, but I'd turn it down in a second if there was a chance to join you on the Normandy again." A broad grin broke out on her face.

"Couldn't imagine meeting the reapers without you."

"Thank you, Commander." He reached out for her and stopped. _If I kiss her now, I'm not going to be able to stop. _He quickly grabbed her hand, and shook it. She raised her eyebrows at him, and stifled a laugh. He pulled her in as close as he dared. "And Shepard, I need you to know that I'll never doubt you again. I've got your back."

"Good to know." She said softly. "Welcome aboard, Major."

He stepped back, and saluted her properly.

"Aye Aye, ma'am."

The airlock to the Normandy opened, and he stepped onboard his old home, his new home, with his Shepard.

(A/N Oh man, please don't expect me to keep up this kind of update schedule! I don't know what happened, this story just won't stay in my head! I'm on my 3rd play through of ME3, and just want to get it all down.

I love you all, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Stick around, and we'll get through this to a happy ending. Promise.)


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N okay, since I love you guys, one more chapter today. Wow. I really have no life now that I got cut down to part time!)

Chapter 5

As they entered the Normandy and walked towards the CIC, Shepard turned to Kaidan with an apologetic look on her face.

"I have to check in with Hackett, and take care of... a thing... Why don't you get settled down on the crew deck, and I'll come find you soon?"

He nodded, and she disappeared through a side door. _I'm glad to be back, but its going to take forever to get used to the new ship. Everything is so different... _As he waited for the elevator, a rough voice called out from behind him.

"Kaidan!" He turned to see Garrus approaching from the airlock. "Good to have you back on board!"'

"Thanks, Garrus." They shook hands warmly.

"Here, how about a brief tour?"

"That would be great, thanks." They stepped inside the elevator, and Kaidan laughed. "Is this thing still horribly slow?"

"Of course. The Alliance upgraded the whole ship. Why would they think to speed up the elevators?" The Turian glanced over at him. "Weren't you already in here? Shepard said you were on board when the ship picked her up on Earth."

"Yeah, but only for a few minutes. And I was running on so much adrenaline, I didn't really notice time going by."

"I get that."

Garrus showed him around the hanger dock, stopping to introduce him the Steve Cortez, the Normandy mechanic and shuttle pilot. As they approached, Cortez was arguing good-naturedly with Jame Vega.

"Major, you got an opinion on this? Which is worse, the Mako or the Hammerhead?" Vega asked, folding his arms across his massive chest.

"Whichever one Shepard is driving."

"Whichever what I'm driving?" Shepard stepped out of the elevator and raised her eyebrows at them.

"Lola, the Major thinks you can't drive." Vega grinned at her. _Lola? I am definitely going to ask about that later. _Garrus laughed heartily.

"She can't." He turned to Cortez. "You see those dents Mr. Vega put in your shuttle? Those are nothing compared to Shepard in a Mako."

Shepard threw up her hands in defeat.

"Fine. I can't drive." She sighed heavily. "Cortez, can you get the welding kit out? I need to make another nameplate." Garrus opened his mouth to say something, but Shepard shook her head. "Later, Garrus. Can you finish showing Kaidan the ship while I make this?"

They took a quick tour through engineering, then headed to the crew deck. Kaidan was surprised to see a full kitchen where his old station had been.

"Is Shepard's quarters still in here?" He said, gesturing to a closed door.

"No, Liara's taken up residence in there. Shepard has the top floor to herself." Garrus cleared his throat. "I'm sure she'll... uh... give you that tour later."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

The door opened, revealing a brightly lit room full of consoles and monitors.

"Liara?" Garrus called out. "Brought the new crew member to see you."

The Asari popped her head around from behind a large server and smiled.

"Kaidan! I'm so glad to see you well!" She rushed over and took his hand. "We were so worried after the attack on Mars!"

"Yeah, I got pretty roughed up."

"Indeed!" She froze, a thoughtful look on her face. "You should probably meet... EDI?"

"Yes, Doctor T'soni?" The voice of the AI came out of a small speaker in the wall.

"Where are you, currently?"

"In the AI core, Doctor T'soni."

"Thank you, EDI."

"Yeah, Shepard mentioned there's an AI on the ship." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck. "Kinda crazy."

Garrus and Liara looked at each other.

"Yeah..."

"Kaidan, you should come with me to the AI core." Liara gestured for him to follow.

They made their way through the mess area and into the med bay, stopping for a brief moment for Kaidan to greet Doctor Chakwas.

"Major! It is Major now, isn't it? I'm so glad to have you back onboard!" She gripped his arm tightly. "I was at Huerta when they brought you in. You had us all worried!"

"Yeah, that's what Liara said."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm here to keep an eye on you. How is your amp feeling? Have you had any migraines since the attack?"

"Doctor, you can give him a full check up later." Liara interrupted politely. "We need to introduce him to EDI."

"Did you need me for something?"

A door at the end of the room opened, and a synthetic woman walked out. _Shit!_ _The robot from Mars! _He fired up his biotics without even thinking, ready to throw her against the wall.

"Wait! Its EDI!" Liara called out. "She forced the Eva Core program out, and took over the body."

Kaidan let his biotics drop, and looked closer at EDI. She tilted her head, and stared at him curiously.

"Yes, this is the body that attacked you on Mars." She said. "But that program has been erased. You have no reason to fear."

"Good to know." _Damn, I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack! _

"Yes. It is. Also, your armor has been delivered, and is in the armory. Now, I must get back to Jeff. It was pleasant to meet you, Major." She looked past them, and walked out of the room.

"How is Joker doing with that?" Kaidan asked, whistling under his breath.

"Like a little boy on Christmas." Chakwas said with a laugh. "Major, I expect you to come back later so I can get you checked out."

"Sure thing, Doc."

She smiled at him, and they left the med bay. With a small wave, Liara headed back to her office, leaving Garrus and Kaidan at the mess table.

"So what do you think?"

"It's strange, being back on the Normandy. I mean, its different, but it somehow feels like the same ship. You know?"

"Yeah."

They stood silently, taking everything in, when a metallic scraping noise caught their attention. Walking around to the front of the elevator, they found Shepard fighting with a screwdriver. On the wall opposite the doors was a memorial, listing the names of the Normandy dead. Shepard was awkwardly trying to place the last screw as she put up a new plaque.

"Here, let me do that." Kaidan reached up softly, taking the screwdriver out of her hands. She shook her head, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and took it back. Kaidan glanced at the name she was adding to the list. Thane Krios.

"Oh no." Garrus said softly.

"What happened?"

"Kai Leng." Shepard whispered angrily.

As Shepard attached the last screw, Kaidan stepped back to look at the other names. Several he recognized from the destruction of the SR1, and mixed in, Richard L. Jenkins, and Ashley Williams. He raised his hand, and softly ran a finger over Ash's name. _I wish you were here, Chief. We need you. _

"Are you going to be okay, Shepard?" He asked, leaning down to try and see her face.

She nodded, and quickly walked into the life support office, locking the door behind her.

Kaidan looked up at Garrus with confusion. _What happened to her? _

"Did I say something..."

"No." The Turian shook his head. "She's started taking it hard when we lose people. We almost lost Grunt last week..."

"Grunt?"

"This young Krogan who helped us take down the Collectors. Anyway, he held back a huge wave of huskified Rachni to let us escape out of a cave." Kaidan shuddered. _Huskified Rachni? Damn, regular ones were bad enough! _"He showed up at the last minute, drenched in blood and Rachni bits, but Shepard gave him a giant hug the minute he got onto the shuttle." Garrus laughed. "Grunt complained that it made him look soft, getting hugs, but she didn't care. And then Mordin..." He took a deep breath and gestured at another name on the wall, apparently remembering Kaidan didn't know who he was talking about. "Doctor Mordin Solus, a brilliant Salarian scientist, sacrificed himself to make sure the genophage cure went off. Shepard was a wreck after that when we got back on the ship. She wants so badly to save everyone."

They walked into the starboard observation deck, and Garrus sat on the small couch. Kaidan stood looking out the window, while his friend stretched out his arms and continued.

"When we were going to take on the Collectors, we all assumed it was a one way trip. That's why she never contacted you, you know. She didn't want to get your hopes up in case she died again." Kaidan nodded. _That probably would have killed me._ "But she got the whole crew in and out. Didn't lose a single person. I think part of her thought she could get through this war the same way."

Kaidan let that turn in his mind as he stared out the large window. They were leaving the Citadel, heading through the nebula for the relay. He watched the Citadel disappear from view, leaving only stars in the window.

The door opened behind them, and Shepard walked in, a slight redness on her face the only thing that betrayed her minor breakdown. She looked at Garrus, and he stood up quickly.

"I'll... go and... see about... I'll leave you two alone." He gave Shepard's shoulder a squeeze, and left the room. Kaidan turned to face her, and she crossed the room to stand by him.

"I'm sorry about Thane."

She nodded.

"Its starting to dawn on me..." She said, voice cracking slightly. "That I can't save everyone." They stood in silence as she stared at her feet. "But I'm going to work my ass off to save as many as I can. They aren't going to take everything from us." _There's my Shepard. My warrior. She's not broken. _

He reached down, and lifted her face.

"Hey now. We're gonna beat this. You and me. Okay?" She nodded, and leaned into his chest. Warmth flooded him, this moment was everything he had thought about for three years. "You go out there, be a badass and save the galaxy, but you let me know when you need... I'm not sure what to call this kind of moment." He frowned. "I don't want you to burn yourself out. We still have a long way to go in this war."

"Kaidan."

"Hmm?"

"Just shut up." Shepard threw her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. He had just enough time to grab her around the waist and pick her up before sinking into her kiss. He felt years of pent up aggression and frustration melting away as he ran his fingers through her hair, letting her bite at his lower lip. _Fuck I have missed this. _He leaned back, pulling her away from the wall, letting her unzip her sweatshirt and struggle out of it. _Looks like she's missed it too... _They fell back against the wall as her sweatshirt dropped to the floor, he slide his hands up under the back of her shirt, feeling the heat of her skin. As he kissed the side of her neck, she sighed, and cradled his face with her hand.

"Kaidan... we can't... here..."

"What?" He murmured, completely engrossed with the softness of her skin.

"Joker... and EDI... can..."

"Did you need something, Shepard?" EDI's voice echoed in the small room.

"Oh..." Kaidan sighed, and let Shepard slip down to stand the floor.

"Yeah." She said, covering a laugh with her hand as she reached for her sweatshirt. "No, EDI. Just proving a point."

"Yes, Shepard." There was a pause. "Jeff thinks I should turn on the cameras in the starboard observation deck. He says I will find the moment... educational."

Kaidan felt his face turn red. _Joker has taught her to cock block. This time, I am seriously going to kill him. _

"That won't be necessary, EDI. Thank you."

She flung herself down on the couch, and motioned for Kaidan to join her. He sat down, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Damn those two."

"Don't you have... private quarters?" He reached his arm around her shoulders, and settled into the couch.

"Yes, but we'll be arriving at our next objective soon soon."

"Ah." He sighed, perfectly content in the moment, if not a little frustrated. "Hey, I bumped into EDI in the hall. Scared the shit out of me. You could have warned me. She looks good tho..." Shepard elbowed him in the ribs gently. He sighed, staring out at the stars. "All seems so calm from here. There are people going through hell in a million different ways... out there. And I want to be fighting alongside them. But... I want to be here. You know?"

"Sure." She nodded, her hair rustling against his neck. "Thinking of anyone specific?"

"I heard from my mom, Shepard. My dad is MIA. He's presumed..." He let the sentence trail off.

"Tell me what happened. You said they got out of Vancouver." She shifted her weight to look up at him. He stroked her cheek absently with his thumb.

"He left Mom at the orchard and reported for active duty. Its all we know but... its... uh, its enough. She's alone in this. In all... this."

"I feel for you, Kaidan. And I'm glad you told me. There's strength in camaraderie. In empathy."

"Thanks." He kissed the top of her head. "You're right. I don't know how you do it, Shepard. Keeping it all together like you do. Earth is always in the back of my mind, haunting me." She looked away from him to gaze out the window.

"I get that. I do." Her voice was soft, quiet.

"And my students... Well, wherever they are, I know they're kicking ass on Earth... or somewhere. You know, when this war is over, there's going to be one hell of a reunion party."

"Hell yeah." A small smile traced its way onto her face.

"Dancing in the street, hugging and crying... My mom's always wanted to travel off planet. I think I'll take her."

She looked back up at him, and the smile faded. _We both know the odds of that happening. Its a nice dream to hold onto for a while... _Shepard sat up, looking around the room.

"Getting settled?" Kaidan laughed. He hadn't brought anything but his armor.

"Not much to unpack. Left Earth in a hurry. Just the clothes on my back and a few things I picked up on the Citadel. I kinda like it. Living lean."

She shook head at him, and stood up.

"We have a bunch of extra stuff in stores. Make sure you grab some."

"Will do, Commander." He stretched his arms and nodded at the window. "Can't wait to get back out there."

"Funny you should mention that. I want you to come with Liara and me on the next mission. For old times sake."

"What? Where are we going?"

"Eden Prime."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. Hackett's orders. Something about a Prothean artifact."

"Well, that sounds familiar." Shepard laughed.

"So get down to the armory and suit up, Major!" She saluted, then leaned over to kiss him again before disappearing through the doors.

_So... this is going to be an interesting war. _Kaidan stood up, ready to follow her out when a thought struck him.

"Joker?" He called out, knowing the pilot was listening.

"What's up, Major?"

"Next time I'm up there, I'm going to break your legs."

"Suurre... No, EDI, he's kidding, you don't need to... yes. Its a joke, EDI. Right, Major?"

"Maybe."

With a laugh, Kaidan headed down to the armory and clipped on his armor. Liara was already in the shuttle with Cortez, and Shepard was checking her rifle. She flashed him a grin and they boarded the shuttle, sealing the door behind them. Everything shook as they took off, Kaidan taking a seat next to Liara, Shepard leaned against the wall next to him.

"Eden Prime. This is where it all began. Where the Prothean beacon gave you the vision that warned us about the Reapers." The Asari fidgeted nervously, twisting her hands around each other. Kaidan leaned back in his seat and sighed.

"We lost a lot of good people when Saren and the Geth hit this place."

"Yes. And now with Cerberus here, Eden Prime's colonists are under attack again."

"Seems like more than just three years ago." Shepard looked down at him.

"Lot of memories here. Jenkins and that damn Geth recon drone."

"And Nihlus." They stared at each other sadly, remembering their first mission together.

"Guess we've got a lot of people to remember down here... even if we're not fighting Geth this time."

"Not a lot of other people have had my back since the beginning. Thanks for coming." She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Even though he couldn't feel it through his armor, the gesture made him smile.

Liara checked her datapad, scrolling through her intel.

"Cerberus hit Eden Prime hard. Whatever they found here was worth a major offensive. There are survivors elsewhere on the Colony, but they killed everyone at the dig site."

"They deserve better." Shepard scowled.

"I know. The Alliance did what it could to evacuate the colonists, but Cerberus came in so quickly.."

"If we find survivors, we'll do what we can. What about this artifact? Any idea whether its part of the Crucible?"

Liara switched to a different file and studied it.

"The Alliance didn't get any specifics about what Cerberus has uncovered. Since the original dig site here contained a warning about the Reapers, it could be connected to the Crucible."

"I'm bringing you in as close to the dig site as I can." Cortez yelled from the small cockpit. "No way we'll avoid detection, but you should have a few minutes."

"Understood." Shepard called back. "All right everyone, get ready to move."

"With luck we can get to the dig site before Cerberus knows we're here."

The shuttle landed, the door slide open. As they leaned out to check their surroundings, Kaidan gave a short laugh.

"What's so funny?" Shepard asked, a quizzical expression on her face.

"The last time we were here, we had never heard of the Reapers, you were under consideration for Spectre status, and I was just a Lieutenant with a bit of a crush." Shepard snorted, and he shook his head at her. "Now look at us. The Reapers are here, we're both Spectres, I'm a Major... and we're well..."

She raised her eyebrows at him, and poked her finger into his chest.

"Keep your mind on the mission, Alenko, or I'll send you back to the Normandy."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She stepped off the shuttle and he followed her again into the lush landscape of Eden Prime.

(A/N Oh dear. Seriously guys, I have no idea how I'm writing this so fast. It just does NOT want to stay in my head. Eek. Okay. Posting this, starting the next chapter. Because of reasons.)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kaidan shielded his eyes, midday on Eden Prime was much brighter than the Normandy and the Citadel. He looked around at the prefabricated housing, and listened to the silence.__ Its so familiar... just like the emptiness on Eden Prime...__

"Its deserted." He called out. Liara stepped out of the shuttle and walked up behind him.

"Come on, let's see if we can find the dig site." She pointed to the center of the colony, and they slowly started walking towards it.__ Its strange walking through an empty colony. There should be people here. Families, kids. It shouldn't be silent___. _He twitched as he remembered when silence fell on Horizon during the Collector's attack.__ Calm down and focus. You made it off Horizon. You're okay.__

"This was a beautiful colony once." Shepard said, stopping to look around at the small gardens.

"Colonists came back after Saren and the Geth attacked." He followed behind her down a small path. "They'll come back again." She nodded absently.

"The city on Earth I grew up was hard and dirty. I can see it as a war zone. Eden Prime doesn't deserve this."

"Nobody does." Liara said softly.

They crept through the rest of the colony in a hush, speaking somehow seemed sacrilegious in the abandoned colony. Finally, they rounded a corner, and Shepard signaled them to stop and look around.

"There's the elevator down to the dig site." Kaidan gestured off to the left.

"Good! Now we can see what they discovered." Excitement grew in Liara's voice, as it did when anything Prothean was being discussed. She ran over to the dig site, and frantically started working on an exposed console.

Kaidan and Shepard looked at each other, and with a shrug, followed the Asari over to the site. Shepard stopped to peer over the edge of the large pit, watching with interest as a crane pulled up a large container. Kaidan fought the urge to pull her back. __Stop being so overprotective. She's not going to fall off a ledge. __He sighed, and leaned up against a large crate. __I just can't lose her again, now that I finally have her back where she belongs. With me. __Letting a smile cross his face, his mind wandered back to their mini reunion on the observation deck. Shepard glanced over at him, and hurriedly looked away, redness growing on her face.__ She knows exactly what I'm thinking about. Maybe when we get back to the Normandy-__

His little daydream was interrupted when Liara gasped, and stared at the console.

"Goddess, that doesn't seem possible." She looked at Shepard, then rushed over to the container. "Its not a Prothean artifact. Its... a Prothean."

"You mean like those bodies we found back on Ilos?" Kaidan asked, all thoughts of Shepard and her personal quarters slipping from his mind. _Hundreds of dead Protheans in pods... The entire city was a tomb._

"Yes, but this Prothean is still alive."

"You're right." Shepard ran her hand carefully over the pod. "That doesn't sound possible."

"You saw Prothean stasis chambers in the archives on Ilos." Liara nodded at Kaidan. "The only reason those failed was lack of power. Cerberus found this in an underground bunker. It still has power. He's been in stasis for the past 50,000 years. Waiting for us. Think of what we could learn."

"What can you tell me about the Protheans? The people, not the technology." Shepard leaned against the console, as Liara took a deep breath. __Damn. We are going to be here all day.__Kaidan casually checked his omnitool. __Yup. Days on this planet are 64 hours long. That sounds about right.__

"Given your experience with the Prothean cypher, You probably know as much about them as I do." Liara fidgeted her hands, not taking her eyes off the container. "The Prothean empire spanned the known galaxy. They uplifted countless species to help them join the galactic community."

"Uplifted? Like how the Salarians brought the Krogan out of the stone age?" Kaidan threw out the one thing he knew was somewhat relevant, and mentally kicked himself. __I probably should have paid more attention when she talked about them on the SR1.__

"Yes. Judging by the dig sites like the Prothean archives on Mars or here on Eden Prime, the Protheans wanted other species to learn. Its clear that they prized knowledge, growth, and cooperation with the rest of the galaxy."

Shepard and Kaidan exchanged a glance. Shepard looked back at Liara, a skeptical look on her face.

"The way you describe them, they sound a lot like the Asari." Shepard said, causing Liara to blush, a deep purple coloring her cheeks.

"I'm certain I'm coloring their culture with my own perceptions. Whatever the Protheans were, finding one alive represents an incredible opportunity."

"Good thing we brought out Prothean expert."

"I hope I can help. If this single Prothean was sent into stasis, he could be the foremost scientist of his time, or perhaps the wisest councilor. Huh. Cerberus damaged the life pod when the excavated it. The life signs are unstable."

Shepard reached towards the container.

"Then lets get him out of there."

"No, breaking open the pod would kill him. We have to find the command signal that ends the stasis mode. We also need to figure out how to open the pod without doing more damage." Liara looked around at the nearby prefabricated houses. "Cerberus took over the labs nearby to research what they found at the dig site. That's likely our best bet."

The roar of engines overhead made everyone look up quickly. A shuttle with Cerberus markings flew over them, hovering over the colony. Kaidan grabbed his pistol and flared his biotics.

"Speak of the devil..." They took cover as several Cerberus troops dropped out of the shuttle and moved towards them.

"Right." Shepard said as loudly as she dared. "Let's take these guys down quickly, and find the labs. We can not lose this to Cerberus." She glanced to her side, taking in the sheer drop of the dig site. "Any way you could just... toss them down there?"

Kaidan looked at Liara, who shrugged.

"We could take out a decent amount that way..." The Asari ventured.

"Good. I'll take care of the rest."

She burst out of cover and charged across a small bridge. Kaidan nodded at Liara, and they stood together, throwing their biotics out at the approaching troops.

"Shepard, move left!" Kaidan yelled as loud as he could, and Shepard dove to the side as a blue wave of energy threw the Cerberus troops into the air and off the side of the cliff. Only a few of them escaped the wave, Shepard rolled to her feet and mowed them down with her rifle. Wiping her forehead, Shepard turned and grinned.

"This I why I love teaming up with biotics." She patted Kaidan on the arm as he and Liara joined her. "I get to save my heat clips."She let out a laugh, then put her fingers to her lips.

"I don't want to attract any more of them, so lets find the labs and get out of here."

They crept through the buildings, looking for any sign of the labs. After a few minutes, they found a door that led them into a small office with a large screen. Liara picked up and scanned a datapad, nodded her head as she read.

"This looks right. There should be a way to access what they found..."

Shepard walked over to the console and started pressing buttons.__ Why does it always make me nervous when she does that?__ His mind flashed back to their first time on Eden Prime, when he had accidentally set off the beacon. __Seeing her twitch like that... __He frowned as he watched her. The screen had gone to static, and she was clutching the console tightly. Stepping forward, he looked at her face with horror. Her eyes were open wide, the normal brown replaced with a flashing green. __What the hell... Is this the cypher, or something Cerberus did to her? __He stood by her, nervously watching, not even sure what he was looking for. Just... watching. After a few agonizingly long minutes, she closed her eyes, and rocked back on her heels. Kaidan reached out to steady her, and she looked up at him, her eyes back to their normal deep brown.

"I've got the signal."

"You understood that?" Liara looked up from the data pads. Shepard stared at her and Kaidan with a confused expression.

"You didn't?"

"No. All I saw was static. Cerberus was trying to make sense of it... without success.: Liara snapped her fingers. "The Prothean cypher you received on Feros... It lets you see the images as a Prothean would... and understand their language."

"Whatever it does... I saw the video, and the signal they used."

"Perfect. Then we just need to figure out how to physically open the pod."

Before they left the small lab, Kaidan turned Shepard to face him.

"Are you okay? That wasn't like the first vision... was it?"

"No. I'm fine." She reached up towards his face, but pulled her hand back at the last moment.

"Thanks, Major." She smiled up at him, and for the first time he noticed how forced her smile was. __She's lying. She doesn't want me to worry about her.__

No shuttles greeted their departure from the labs, but they took no chances, and stuck to sneaking through the abandoned prefabs. Kaidan tried not to look at the few bodies they passed, colonists who had been in their homes when Cerberus had rolled through, but Shepard seemed to get more and more agitated with every civilian corpse they found. She hit her limit when they came across five bodies strewn across a small couch. The console in the corner had the now burned in image of a inter-colony baseball game still paused on it.

"They were gunned down while having drinks and watching the game." Her voice was cold and emotionless. Kaidan sighed. __I can't stand it when civilians get caught in the crossfire of stupid galactic politics, and I know she hates it more than I do.__

"I'd rather be fighting through a Cerberus base. This was somebody's home." Shepard nodded, not meeting his eyes. She gripped her rifle tighter, and moved on from the room.

The second lab was more cluttered than the first, it appeared as if someone had been unsuccessfully rummaging through the data pads. Liara frowned as she picked one up off the floor.

"Cerberus must have been getting desperate to crack the data."

"Too bad for them." Shepard said, accessing the main console. She glanced at Kaidan, and nodded. "I'll be fine, Kaidan."

Her eyes flashed green again, and she froze. __I hate this. I hate this so much. There have been too many people poking around in her head. __He held his hand out, ready to catch her when she stumbled backwards again.

"You understood that one too?" Liara asked.

"Yes." She slowly unclenched her hands, and headed towards the door without meeting Kaidan's eyes.

"Excellent. Then we have everything we need to open the pod."

As they left the small lab, Kaidan glanced up at the sky, shielding his eyes with his hand.

"I'm surprised we haven't run into more troopers."

"Don't even say it." Shepard said. "If they show up now, its your fault."

"We would have heard the shuttles." He retorted. "And this place is as silent as a-"

Shepard grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into an alcove as a hail of automatic gunfire rang out. Slammed up against a wall, he gasped as he felt the air rush out of his lungs.

"They've set up a turret." Shepard cried out, pressed up against him in the small space. "Liara, can you throw up some sort of barrier? We're kinda stuck over here!" She glared at Kaidan.

"You and Ash always had to jinx everything with your big mouths."

"I'll see what I can do!" The Asari called from around a corner. The turret rang out as it tracked her. "I'm sorry, I can't get around to target it!"

"If I can see it, I might be able to overload it..." Kaidan wheezed. "Let me get around you..." He and Shepard awkwardly shuffled around each other to switch places. As her head passed his, he caught the familiar scent of vanilla, and smiled.__ I still need to figure out where she smuggles that shampoo in from.____And then I will send them a giant thank you letter. Maybe some flowers.__ Shaking the distracting thought from his head, he knelt down and peered around the edge of the wall at the turret.

The small courtyard was empty, except for the searching barrel of the turret. As he twitched his omnitool to set the overload charge, he felt a pressing weight on his back.

"Don't move." Shepard hissed as she leaned against him, resting her sniper rifle on his shoulder. "This is going to be tricky." She took in a long breath and held it as she concentrated. Kaidan steadied himself against the wall, trying to move as little as possible. __What is she aiming at? __Finally, she took her shot, and breathed out. "Now you can overload the turret."

Kaidan shook his head, and sent the charge out. The turret froze long enough for them to step out and destroy it. Confused, Kaidan lowered his pistol and turned to Shepard.

"What did you shoot?"

She walked out into the courtyard, and pointed behind a small wall. Following her, Kaidan frowned at the crumpled body that lay there. __I didn't even know he was there.  
><em>_

"He would have reactivated the turret while we were out in the open." She shrugged. "Had to take him out."

__I didn't see him. I could have gotten us all killed.__

"Thanks, Commander."

"Its what I do, Major." She grinned. "Now, lets get back to the Prothean, shall we?"

As they approached the stasis pod, the smile slid off her face.

"Dammit. They retracted the bridge!" They stared across the small ravine at their destination.

"We'll need to find an override to extend the bridge." He crossed his arms and glared at the controls, inconveniently located on the other side of the gap.

"No time!" She called over her shoulder. "Let's find another way across!"

She dropped down off the edge of the embankment, and Kaidan felt his heart leap. Rushing forward, he breathed with relief to see the drop was only eight feet.

"Shepard, warn me before you go off the edge of a cliff, okay?"

"Sure thing, Major!" She called back, turning to watch Kaidan and Liara lower themselves down with more caution. Once they had caught up, she led them through a maze of ladders and rooftops.

"Shepard, how do you know where we're going?" Liara asked as she ducked under a large pipe. Shepard cleared her throat.

"Well, we need to go that way... So..."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. __She has no idea where we are going.__ Thankfully, their rooftop excursion turned fruitful, a final ladder lead them down to the ground near the stasis pod.

"I'm transmitting the signal." Shepard knelt down next to the pod and fiddled with her omnitool. Liara was behind her, practically glowing with excitement.

"Perfect!" It will take a few moments for the life pod to-"

A shuttle roared by them, cutting off the Asari mid sentence. She flared her biotics and leaned up against the pod.

"Cerberus has heavy forces incoming. We need to hold this position!"

Kaidan grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to cover behind the large pod.

"See what you can do from back here, Shepard and I are going to move up and meet them." Liara nodded, her eyes wide. Kaidan turned her to face him, looking down at her worried blue face. "Liara, we aren't going to let them take the Prothean." She nodded, and gripped his arm tightly.

As he left her to join Shepard, he shook his head slowly. _She's 80 years older than me, but I still think of her like a little sister. How does that even happen? _

"Ready for this?" He asked Shepard, crouching down next to her. She absently tossed a grenade with one hand, and grinned at him.

"Always."

A squad of ten Cerberus troops rounded a corner, and advanced towards them slowly.

"Dammit, they've got riot shields again." Shepard leaned her head around her cover, before looking back at Kaidan. "I should have asked before... are your biotics back to full strength? Are you okay?"

"Better than ever." He let the blue glow flare around his fingers.

"Nice. Think you can relieve the nice troopers of their shields for me?"

"Can do, Commander."

They stood together, Shepard picking off the troops and Kaidan ripped their shields away.

"Well." Shepard frowned. "That seemed too easy."

The roar of engines made her cringe, two shuttles dropped out of the sky and circled the colony.

"Now who's jinxing things?" Kaidan laughed as Shepard glared at him, wrinkling her nose up in mock disgust.

"Looks like we got a second to catch our breath." She adjusted a setting on her assault rifle.

"Or set up preparations for the next wave." Liara called from behind the pod.

"Has the life pod ended stasis mode?"

Kaidan jogged over and checked the nearby monitor.

"Not much longer, Commander! If you've got anything special to prep with, now's the time." She finished fiddling with her gun and held it up triumphantly. Kaidan walked back over to her and and inspected it.

"Armor piercing rounds? Where did you get those?"

"Somewhere not entirely legal. Don't worry about it, Major." She turned back to Liara. "You ready for this?"

"I can lay down a singularity to block enemy access."

"Good. Be ready."

A metallic crunching noise brought their attention back to the colony.

"What the hell is that?" Kaidan's mouth fell open as a ten foot mech dropped out of a shuttle.

"Oh fucking hell." Shepard re-clipped her assault rifle and pulled out her sniper rifle. "You handle the troops, I'll take care of that."

"But how-"

"Just do it, Major!" She yelled, before breathing in and taking aim.

Kaidan alternated between his biotics and his pistol, taking down any troopers taking aim at Shepard's exposed head. Biting his lip, he flung his powers out and used a fallen shield to knock over a row of troopers. _Come on Shepard, what are you waiting for? _The giant mech had been unleashing rockets at Liara and the Stasis pod, and every time one hit, the Asari cried out as she held her barrier. _She can't hold out much longer against that kind of fire power... _

Shepard finally took her shot, firing through the glass canopy of the mech, and into the head of the pilot. The hulking mechanical beast shuddered to a stop, and slumped forward. Grinning triumphantly, Shepard switched back to her assault rifle and joined Kaidan in picking off the last few Cerberus troops.

"There!" The excitement and exhaustion in Liara's voice was practically tangible. "You can open the life pod now!"

A small panel flipped up, and Shepard punched in a sequence of buttons. The pod cracked open with a hiss, and slowly slid open.

"There! You've got it!" Liara leaned over and stared down at the Prothean, Shepard and Kaidan right behind her. _That's weird. It doesn't look anything like the statues on Ilos. _His memory flashed back to the statues of the tentacled faced creatures. _Good thing though, those things were creepy as fuck. _

"Goddess..." Liara whispered, her hand over her mouth. Shepard stood beside her, looking at the Prothean with a curious expression. "Shepard, it may take him some time to fully regain consciousness..."

Four eyes blinked open, double pupils searching the sky rapidly until they settled on Shepard's face. The Prothean grimaced, and stood with a flash of green biotic power, knocking the squad to the ground. Kaidan rolled onto his side and stared at the alien. _Green biotics? I've never seen anything other than blue..._ It wobbled unsteadily as it climbed out of the pod, and tried to walk away, but its legs gave out and it fell to its knees. It stared at Shepard, and got back to its feet to hobbled off. Shepard stood quickly to give chase.

"Be careful! He's confused!" Liara called, panic rising in her voice. Kaidan nudged her with his elbow.

"Come on!" They followed Shepard and the Prothean to the edge of the cliff, where it stood frozen, staring in horror at its surroundings. Shepard made her way up to stand beside it.

"Remember, its been 50,000 years for us, but for him, its only been a few minutes!" Shepard put her hand on his shoulder, and the Prothean spun to face her. There was a flash of light, and they sprung apart, Shepard grabbing her head, the Prothean on his knees. _Goddammit, she's going to end up with brain damage from all this!_

"How many others?" The Prothean spoke with a low, gravelly voice as he turned away from her.

"Just you." Shepard responded slowly. "You can understand me?"

"Yes. Now that I have read your physiology. Your nervous system. Enough to understand your language." He stayed on his knees, staring out at the landscape.

"So you were reading me, while I was seeing..."

"Our last moments. Our failure." _I really wish they would stop poking around in her head. Hasn't she had enough of visions by now? _The alien was on his feet now, and Shepard walked around to stand in front of him.

"Your people did everything they could. They never gave up. And I could use some of that commitment now."

Shepard cocked her head as she received a transmission, and as she was distracted, the Prothean walked towards Kaidan and Liara. The Asari's hands were shaking so badly, Kaidan couldn't help but feel nervous for her. This was probably a bigger moment then Liara had ever anticipated in her life.

"Asari, Human." It shook its head. "I am surrounded by primitives."

Liara made a gasping noise as Kaidan frowned. _Primitives?  
><em>

"It's not safe here. Will you join us?" Shepard had turned her attention back to the Prothean.

"You fight the Reapers?"

"Yes."

"Then we will see."

Shepard reached out her hand to him, but he stared at it coldly before turning away and walking back towards his pod.

"Okay... This just got weird." Kaidan offered.

"No kidding." Shepard sighed. "Cortez is inbound. Lets get everyone back to the Normandy before more Cerberus shows up."

They stared out at the landscape as they waited, listening to Liara frantically downloading the last data from the pod, and the Prothean mutter to himself as he stomped around the courtyard. Shepard sighed deeply, a concerned look on her face. Kaidan put his arm around her shoulders.

"Well... look at the bright side." She looked up at him, eyebrow cocked.

"Bright side?"

"Well, unlike last time on Eden Prime, nobody died. And I don't have to carry you back to the Normandy."

Shepard snorted.

"Admit it, you enjoyed that a bit."

"I thought you might have been dead! You were my CO! It was weird!"

She continued to stare at him, a grin spreading across her face.

"I see your point. But I wasn't dead." The smile faded. "Not that time, at least."

Kaidan slipped his arm down from her shoulder to her waist, and pulled her close.

"But not now." He said softly. "You're not dead now."

"No." They watched the shuttle circle down to land, and separated. "I'm very much alive."

She turned and shot him a look that sent a chill down his spine. _That moment in the observation lounge was not enough. _Shaking his head, he followed her to the shuttle. _I'm need to get her alone, and soon. _

The Prothean looked up from his seat at Shepard, then glared at Kaidan. _Oh god, can it read minds? Don't think about Shepard. _Nervously, he stared at the small video screen, watching Eden Prime shrink away. _A real, live Prothean. I thought things were weird before, they just got a thousand times crazier. _

(A/N So... hope springs eternal, Jessica Merizan (the community relations manager for Bioware) has been tweeting stuff about the "Ending DLC" that we are getting this summer. She very clearly said that you can get a scene of Shepard reuniting with his/her crew. SO EXCITED. Why is it not summer yet? That's pretty much where my headcanon was going, so hopefully everything will all work out!)


	7. Chapter 7

(A/N I went back and did a bit of editing in the previous chapters. If you go back to chapter 2 and scroll down to the part where Kaidan gets crunched on Mars, I added some stuff that comes up in this chapter. So if you read chapter 2 more than a week ago, you might want to jog back and scroll down to that part. Just a heads up. Thanks!

Also, I really didn't like Shepard's "casual dress", so I'm going to pretend that it looked like I wanted it to. Yay dinner date!)

Chapter 7

The shuttle ride back to the Normandy from Eden Prime was awkwardly quiet, Liara's early attempts to talk to the Prothean had been meet with steely glares, and she had resigned herself to silence. Shaking his head, Kaidan made his way up to the cockpit, where Shepard stood behind Cortez.

"What are we going to do with him?" He asked her, leaning over her shoulder.

"I have no idea." She confessed. "I wasn't expecting this at all..."

"He's very... abrasive."

"That's a very diplomatic word choice."

"My hearing is still functional, Humans." They both jumped, and turned to look back at the Prothean with guilty expressions.

"Sorry." Kaidan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do not apologize. It makes you seem weak."

Shepard rolled her eyes, and they leaned against the shuttle wall as they waited to dock.

As Cortez guided them into the hanger, Kaidan grabbed Shepard's arm.

"Hey, I know you have to deal with that..." He jerked his head at the Prothean. "But we should... talk."

"Talk?" She looked up at him skeptically. Before he could answer, the door slide open, and the Prothean stomped out. "Oh shit!" Shepard bolted out after him, Liara on her heels.

The women herded the alien into the elevator as Kaidan walked to the armory to take off his gear.

"Major, what the hell was that thing?" A large shadow loomed behind him, as Vega appeared from around a corner.

"That, Mr. Vega, was a Prothean." Cortez called from the shuttle.

"No shit, Esteban? A real, live Prothean?"

"Yeah. Walking, talking, real live Prothean." Kaidan said, packing his armor away. He grabbed a fresh shirt out of his locker and quickly changed into it. _Glad Cortez is letting me borrow a few of his till we get back to the Citadel. I don't think I'd fit into any of Vega's. _He glanced at the muscular Lieutenant. _Yeah. I'd be drowning in one of his. Still, I gotta hit supplies when we get back. _

He left Cortez and Vega arguing good-naturedly about Protheans, and waited for the elevator to return. Once it came back, he stepped on board and called out to EDI over the intercom.

"Hey... EDI?" He still felt weird talking to the ship.

"Yes, Major?" The pleasant voice filled the elevator.

"Where's Shepard?"

"The Commander is currently in the Port Cargo bay with Doctor T'Soni, the Prothean, and four marines."

'Um... should I go help?"

"The Marines are departing. I believe the Commander has the situation under control."

"Right then. Never mind."

He hit the button for the crew deck, and headed back to the observation room he had taken over. The Normandy had been in retrofit when the Reapers attacked, and had just enough crew to fly. As the ranking officer, the skeleton crew treated the Starboard observation deck as his office, and avoided it.

Dropping onto the couch, he ran his hands through his hair and sighed. His amp throbbed, and it started to sink in that he hadn't slept since before the attack on the council. _Maybe if I just close my eyes for a moment... _

His eyes sprung open a moment later as an amused Shepard looked down at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." He rubbed his eyes. "You get that Prothean squared away?"

She nodded, and sat down on the couch, leaning against his chest.

"Javik. His name is Javik. I think he can help us, so we're taking him to the Citadel." She sighed deeply, and flicked a piece of hair away from her face. "Can I be totally honest with you for a moment?"

"Always." He gently pulled her down until she lay next to him on the small couch. Her head nestled against his chest, and he breathed in deeply, taking in the familiar scents of her. "You know you can tell me anything."

"The thing is, I know he's the last of his kind, and has infinite wisdom and knowledge to help us fight the Reapers, but..."

"But what?"

"He's a complete dick."

He shifted his weight to look at her face, and the dead serious expression she wore tore through his composure. He hugged her tightly as he laughed, and she walked her fingers up his chest. _I'm glad Cerberus and the war haven't ruined her sense of humor. I don't know how we'd get through things without moments like this. _

"It's not funny!" She poked him gently, with a look of mock indignation. "You should wipe that smile off your face, Major."

That only made him pull her in tighter.

"I hope my enthusiasm doesn't seem unprofessional." He kissed her forehead. "I can't stop grinning."

"Hey! I'm not kidding!" She wriggled out of his grasp. "He was unspeakably rude to Liara."

"I bet he was. He's probably going to be rude to everybody. Hell, I bet he'd tell off Hackett if you ever let the two meet."

Shepard's face paled.

"Hackett!" She jumped up from the couch. "My report!" She ruffled Kaidan's hair and practically ran out of the room. Putting his hands behind his head, Kaidan smiled, and stared out the window at the stars. _I wonder if I can get back to sleep. _He closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come. Instead, he found himself thinking about Shepard. _Are we always going to play this game of sneaking around? Pretending like nothing is going on? I know there are regs, but we've broken them before. Besides, there's a damn war on. We could all die in the next few months, and there is a good chance we are going to. What are they going to do, court martial me in the middle of the apocalypse? And if we win... and Shepard feels the same way... then we can always retire. Or something. _He sighed. _After this, I think I want to retire anyway. I've already had my share of death and destruction. _

He sat up and put his head in his hands. _Would she do it? I know we talked about it on shore leave... but so much has changed... Would she give it all up to settle down with me? _An image crept into his mind, something he had seen flash by during the incident on Mars. A young boy, dark haired and pale with freckles, sat in the yard of a small house on a hill. He stood up as the front door opened, and ran to the woman inside, who shared his freckles and his familiar grin, but not his eyes. His eyes were Kaidan's. _I want that. There is nothing more in the universe that I want more than that. _He grabbed his datapad off the nearby table and brought up his messages. Before reading his new mail, he shot a message off to Shepard. _Keep it casual... You don't want to freak her out. _

"Subject: Dinner

Hey Shepard,

I don't know about you, but I could sure use a little breather. Next time we're on the Citadel, let me buy you dinner. We should try Apollo's. Its that little restaurant overlooking the Presidium.

-Kaidan"

_That will work. Take her out on a proper date, and ask her. Ask her what? To marry you? To mother your children? God knows I've thought about it enough... _He felt his chest get tight. _Just breath, and see what happens. _Shaking his head, he brought up his unread messages. Mostly Spectre stuff, apparently they were still expecting him to file expense reports. _Great. _He scrolled down, looking for any news from his mother. He didn't find anything from her, but he did find a message from Stevens.

"Subject: Where are you?

Alenko,

What the hell, man? You can't just disappear like that without letting me know! I mean, of course I know where you went, I do work in intelligence, after all, but that's just rude. You have to come back to the Citadel soon, Elsa and I are taking off. We've both been reassigned to Terra Nova to help with the refugees, Elsa with the wounded, and me gathering intel about the Reapers from survivors. We'll be staying with my mother. Elsa is _THRILLED_.

Looks like its going to be a fun apocalypse.

But seriously, we leave soon, so make sure to come see us. I know you should be heading back soon with some crazy Prothean relic. Come buy me one last round.

Cheers.

-Stevens"

Kaidan chuckled and hit the reply button.

"Subject: On our way.

Stevens,

You have no idea how crazy the relic is. Seriously. Crazy.

And I give it a week before Elsa throws something at your mother. Have fun.

We're headed back now, so I'll see you guys soon.

-Kaidan"

He set the data pad down on his lap, and closed his eyes again. _I should probably check in on Liara. But I'm so comfortable... _Lazily, he fiddled with the frequency on his omnitool until it brought up the local communicator.

"Hey, Liara, you have a few minutes to chat?"

There was a pause, then a warm response called back to him.

"Of course, Kaidan. What's going on?"

"Just wanted to see how you were doing with this whole Prothean thing. Shepard mentioned he was... abrasive."

Liara gave a small cough.

"I guess you could say that. He is definitely not what I was expecting."

"I hear that." Kaidan's mind wandered back to Mars, where something had been itching in the back of his mind. "Speaking of not expecting things, you're the Shadow Broker now? How did that even happen?"

"Well, after the Normandy crashed, I discovered the Shadow Broker was trying to recover Shepard's body to sell her to the Collectors." Kaidan felt like his blood had turned to ice. "I of course, couldn't let that happen."

"You should have let me know. I could have helped!"

Kaidan, you were practically catatonic." The patient reply said. "You were barely able to get out of bed, let alone go on the kind of high risk mission I was attempting."

"I see your point."

"Yes, so after recovering her body, I knew the Shadow Broker had to be taken down. I got a job as an information broker, and worked my way up. Later, in exchange for Shepard's body, Cerberus-"

"Wait, YOU gave Shepard to Cerberus?" His mouth fell open.

"Yes, because they were going to bring her back! Isn't that what you wanted as well?

"I... well..."

"Yes, so in exchange for that, they gave Shepard intel on how we could find him. We stormed his base, and I took over."

"So... you basically know everything about everyone now?"

'Yes."

"Even me?"

"Sealed files are no match for me. I know what happened at Gagarin Station."

"Oh."

Silence fell on their conversation. The slight hiss of static was the only hint the connection was still open. _There's one last thing I should make sure of._

"Liara?"

"Yes?"

"So you know everything about Shepard?"

"Yes."

"After Horizon, and the things that I said... She didn't..."

"There was never anyone else for her but you." Kaidan breathed out heavily. He hadn't even realized he had been holding his breath. "She and Garrus got close, but never as more than friends. His relationship with his sister is... strained... I feel he always saw Shepard as a surrogate. Why do you ask? Isn't this something you have discussed with her yourself?"

"Yes, but I guess I just needed confirmation. When we get back to the Citadel, I'm going to take her to dinner..."

He stopped talking as he heard her laugh.

"You're taking Shepard on a date? In the middle of the war?"

"Well, why not?"

"Good point."

They lapsed into awkward silence again.

"So, looks like your stasis field has really improved." He grimaced._ Do we really have nothing else in common besides Shepard and biotics?_

"It has. I have also been improving my offensive techniques as well. Although, I do prefer to use my biotics as a defense." On the other end of the line, there was a mechanical hiss, almost like a door opening.

"I find using my biotics to toss someone across the room is a decent attention grabber."

"Yes, but its also a good way to draw enemy fire."

"You can handle yourself in a fight now, Liara." Kaidan's mind flashed back to Liara's improvised lessons on tactics with Wrex and Ashley. "I mean, not that your biotics weren't impressive the first time we met." The Asari gave a laugh.

"I have had my fair share of opportunities to use them these past few years."

"Well, I'm glad you got through in one piece. Sounds like you have a few stories to tell."

"As do you." There was a brief pause. "Oh, Shepard, I was hoping you would stop by..."

Kaidan disconnected the line, and went back to staring at the stars. He hadn't even realized he had dozed off until he felt the slight tug of relay travel. Stretching his arms out, he looked down at his datapad.

"Subject: You're on.

Kaidan,

Dinner sounds wonderful.

I have a thing to take care of with Garrus, then I'll meet you at Apollo's around 1800.

See you soon.

-Shepard"

_This is happening. _He grinned. _I should shower. When was the last time I did that? _Standing up in a panic, he grabbed a fresh uniform and made his was to the locker room to freshen up. _This will give me time to check in with Troy and Elsa. _Time spent with his old friend from basic training and his doctor girlfriend was always welcome. _I need time to calm down before seeing Shepard._

He didn't see Shepard as they docked at the Citadel, so Kaidan left the ship on his own and headed up to the Alliance Officer apartments. Boxes were everywhere in Steven's small flat, but he made room for Kaidan to sit at the little table, as Elsa hugged him warmly, then punched him in the arm.

"Why do you make me worry about you?" She glared at him. "First you're on Earth during the attack, then you nearly get your skull crushed in by a robot, and the snotty doctors at Huerta wouldn't let me see you. Then you're with the Council during an assassination attempt, and vanish off the Citadel? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Laughing, he hugged her again. Elsa had always been a good friend, even if she did worry too much.

"She is definitely going to give your mother a run for her money in the nagging department, Troy."

The lanky blond rolled his eyes.

"Yes. This is going to be a fantastic experience for all involved."

Kaidan sat down at the table, and graciously accepted a cup of coffee.

"In all seriousness, you guys be careful. Settlements are getting hit all over, if not by Reapers, then Cerberus."

Stevens nodded.

"We know they've been targeting major colonies, but we're needed on Terra Nova. Refugees from the smaller colonies are flocking there if they can't get here, and they need all the medical help they can get. And anything they can tell us about how they were attacked, number of forces... all that will help us help you and Shepard."

"As much as we joke about it, it really is all up to you guys." Elsa said softly. "Without Shepard, we're all dead."

She reached across the table to take her boyfriend's hand.

"Speaking of Shepard, I should go." Kaidan stood up. "I'm taking her to dinner before we head out again."

"Niiiice. Good luck with that." Stevens grinned. "Oh hey, I managed to grab that thing out of your room before C-Sec took it over." He held out the holophoto of Shepard and Kaidan on shore leave.

"Hey, thanks. I thought this was lost."

"Nah, I snagged it for ya. Have fun at dinner."

Elsa hugged him tightly again, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Take care of yourself, Major."

"You too, Doctor."

Stevens gave him a handshake, before making a face and pulling him in for a hug as well.

"If the Reapers hit Terra Nova, Mom has a private shuttle. We can get off world." He dropped the volume of his voice to just above a whisper. "If we can't get off world, we'll hide. But if they find us... I won't let them take us."

He pulled back, and the men nodded at each other.

"You'll be fine. When this is all over, drinks on me." Kaidan clapped his friend on the shoulder. "We're all going to be fine. Keep in touch."

He turned to leave, trying to mentally block out the sight of Elsa crying into Stevens' chest. _We have to win this. For them. For everyone. _

He arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early, and took a seat at a small table overlooking the Presidium. _I need to shake the war for just a few minutes. I know what we need to do, but I have to take some time for me. For us. _Clearing his mind, he watched in confusion as several C-Sec aircars roared past, sirens blaring. Curiously, he tuned his radio into their frequency and listened hard.

"-No sign of them, they must have left."

"Are you sure that report was right? That sounds like the dumbest thing I have ever heard of."

"I'm serious. The lady said there was a Human and a Turian shooting bottles from the top of her office."

"Right. Is it Mrs. Kinch again? You know how she drinks..."

"There were marks that showed something landed up there..."

"Probably just some damn kids. If they are gone now, don't worry about it too much."

Kaidan put his hand on his face. _They didn't. _He looked around for Shepard, searching the crowd of people for the familiar black sweatshirt. Frowning when he didn't see it, he looked back at his menu and pondered what he wanted to eat. _Ooh, steak. I love steak. _A hand on his shoulder made his jump, and his mouth fell open when he looked up at Shepard. She wore a tight black dress, low cut at the top, and gently flared at the bottom. When she moved, it swung gently, like a sundress in the breeze. She looked strangely taller, and it took his a moment to realize she was wearing heels.

"What's wrong? Do I look wrong?" She said apprehensively, taking a step back from him and pulling on a piece of hair.

"No no no no. You look amazing." He grabbed her hand, and gently pulled her down to the table. "I've... just... never seen you in a dress. Not even on shore leave."

"Oh. Right." She grabbed a menu and used it to cover the growing redness on her face. Kaidan cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Surprised this place can still get supplies for a menu like this."

Shepard laughed as she scanned her own menu, eyebrows raised.

"Maybe its better if we don't ask how... or where."

Kaidan leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms out over his head.

"I'm glad we're taking the time to do this. I could use a sanity check."

Shepard set her menu down, leaned her elbows on the table and smiled up at him.

"Things have been pretty crazy."

"You know, my life flashed in front of my eyes on Mars- and there weren't enough moments like this, with people I care about." He watched the blush spread back across her face. _Its funny, she's an amazing soldier, and can keep her cool in the middle of a war zone, but heaven forbid you talk to her about relationships. She turns right back into a teenager. _As if to prove his point, Shepard cleared her throat and changed the subject.

"How are you feeling these days?"

"Feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me. And grateful that I convinced you to sit down for half a second and relax." _She looks so tired. _

"Yeah, I think its a good time for us to have a heart to heart." _Huh. Maybe nearly dying actually got her to think about these kind of things seriously._ "What are you drinking?"

Kaidan laughed. _Is she trying to get me drunk to talk about this?_

"If you're trying to butter me up, it might take a nice steak sandwich too."

"So..." She looked at him nervously. _I can't tease her about this today. Not if she is actually ready to talk about it. _

"Shot of whiskey and a good old Canadian lager. Think they have it?"

She picked up her menu and scanned it again. "More likely to have Batarian Shard wine." Kaidan nodded, signaling the waiter to bring over a bottle.

"At my parents place in Vancouver, drank more than a few beers on the balcony, looking over English Bay. Yeah. Beautiful view... " He shook the memory away. _Its all gone now. Time to start over._ " You know what though? I feel good about our chances."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Lets me sleep better at night."

"You not sleeping, Kaidan?" _You don't look like you are, either._

"Maybe a little restless... The war isn't the only thing keeping me up at night..." He looked her dead in the eyes. "I wonder about us."

"Us?" She fumbled with the menu. _This is it. Here goes everything. _

"I love you, Shepard. I always have." She stared at him, eyes wide. _Part of her has to have always known... _ "I want to understand what this is between us... and make it real. That's what I want. What do you want?" Nervously, he watched her turn things over in her mind. After a long silence, she slid her hand across the table, letting their fingers touch. She looked down and breathed in deeply, before meeting his gaze.

"I can't bury what I feel for you any more. And I don't want to."

Feeling like his heart was going to burst, Kaidan took her hand in his, and placed it against his face. The warmth flooded through him, destroying any doubts he had ever felt about her.

"And that... makes me so happy. And there are benefits to that happiness." He gently kissed her fingertips, and set her hand back on the table with a short laugh. "But more on that later."

Shepard leaned across the table at him, mischief in her eyes.

"Later?" She hissed at him. "We need to get back to the Normandy, ASAP."

"Ah. Too late. Our drinks are here." He grinned at her frustration as the waiter set down a bottle and glasses. "And I'm going to take my time."

She sat back, defeated.

"What'd you call it? A sanity check?"

"Mm. Sanity check."

They clinked their glasses together, and drank deeply. _Its not whiskey, __but it'll do. _He set his glass down, and reached across the table to stroke Shepard's arm.

"Where did the dress come from? I know I've never seen it before."

"Liara made me buy it." Shepard gently ran her fingers over the material. "Its weird. I've never owned anything this girly in my life." She smiled up at him, before taking another drink. Kaidan followed suit. "Don't try to keep up, Major." She teased. "I've yet to meet someone who can drink me under the table."

"I'm bigger than you. And older."

""That's right. God, I don't even know how old I am." A frown crossed her face. "Do the years I spent dead count?"

Kaidan squeezed her arm.

"Hey, hey. Lets not think about that right now. Right now is for clearing our heads." He picked up his glass and looked at the strange liquid. "Or muddying them."

"I'll drink to that."

Finishing their drinks, Kaidan poured them the rest out of the bottle.

"I think we can afford more on Spectre salary, don't you?"

Shepard laughed.

"I think so. As long as we don't expense report it. Cerberus made me do that for everything. I'm pretty sure I bankrupted part of the organization after our first trip to Omega."

"Taking them down from within. I like it." They drank again. Kaidan felt a slight buzz building up in the back of his head, Batarian wine was much stronger than any liquor from Earth. Shepard laughed, nodding her head.

"Yes. It was my diabolical plan all along." She sat back in her chair, running her finger around the rim of her glass.

"You should save the bottles, so you and Garrus can use them next time you go skeet shooting."

She looked at him with shock.

"How..."

"I still have the codes to C-Sec's radio frequencies. How did it go?"

She looked guilty.

"I let him win."

"I bet he enjoyed that."

"You have NO idea."

They laughed, and Shepard set her glass down.

"Tell me about what you've been doing the last three years. The fun stuff."

They spent the next few hours eating, drinking and telling stories about their time apart. Strangely, Shepard would only tell him stories about being on the Normandy, or various amusing encounters she and the crew had had.

"What about the other things? Like the Collector ship."

She shook her head and looked away, out across the sunny reaches of the Presidium.

"I'm... not quite drunk enough to talk about that yet." She said, an edge to her voice. Kaidan let the subject drop.

"Well, then, Commander, I think its high time we report back to the Normandy."

"Damn straight it is." She stood up, her knees wobbling. "Oh hell. I forgot I was going to have to walk in these shoes after drinking." Kaidan put his arm around her, and she leaned into him heavily. "Right. Let's do this."

They slowly made their way back through the Presidium towards the hanger deck, Shepard had crossed the border from tipsy to drunk, and was laughing at everything.

"This place is so ridiculous. I mean, seriously. Like... if you had told me... when I was fifteen, that a place like this existed, I would have laughed my ass off, then shot you." She looked up at him with a grin. "I wouldn't have shot you in the face though. Its too pretty."

"Thanks for the compliment, Commander." He wasn't as far gone as she was, but he was definitely feeling the wine.

"Anytime, Lieut- Major."

They were greeted on the Normandy by a chorus line of dropped jaws. Garrus, Vega and Joker were all in the cockpit, their conversation forgotten. EDI stood up behind them and looked at Shepard curiously.

"Shepard. Your dress is... very pretty."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard snapped her fingers and pointed at the synthetic woman. "I like your hair. Its very... shiny."

"Right, lets get you to bed." Kaidan started to lead Shepard away from the crew and towards the elevator, but Vega flagged his attention.

"Major!" The Lieutenant looked impressed, while behind him Joker was giving a thumbs up. Garrus was making soft hissing noises as he laughed into his hands. "Nice work." _Well, this wasn't going to stay a secret for long, if it ever was. _

"Um... thanks, Lieutenant."

"Shut up, Vega!" Shepard yelled, kicked her shoes off, and stomped towards the elevator, bright red toenails exposed.

"Sure thing, Lola!" He called back. Kaidan grabbed her shoes, saluted the crew with a grin, and ran after her. As they got into the elevator, Shepard leaned against the wall.

"They're laughing at me."

"Believe me, they aren't. They've just never seen this side of you before."

"They've seen me drunk before."

"Not that side. This side." He grabbed her hand and spun her in a circle, letting the dress flare out. "You told me once you never really let people see the soft human side of you. I think that was their first taste of it." He smiled at her as the elevator ground to a halt. "People tend to forget that there's more to you then battle and temper." She nodded, and opened the doors to her quarters.

Kaidan was impressed. The room was much larger and well lit then her space on the SR1. One wall was completely taken up by a large fish tank, and the other area surrounding her small desk was covered in model ships. A lower level held a couch and small table, as well as her large bed. His eyes drifted upwards, on the ceiling over the bed was a large window, he watched for a moment as the Citadel drifted away.

"This is huge!"

"Yup!" She looked around, hands on her hips. "Um.. hang on, super messy..." She frantically tried to clean up the pile of datapads on her desk, dropping more than she picked up. She threw them into the corner of the desk and gasped.

"What are you doing?"

"NOTHING." She flung herself to the side and slammed something down on her desk.

"What is that?" He picked her up and moved her, while ignoring her protests and picked up the holophoto. "Is this my ID photo?" She turned away from him, hands over her face. Setting the photo down, he gently spun her to face him.

"It was the only thing I could find." She said quietly. "I didn't want... to forget."

"I didn't either." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out his photo. "This has gone with me everywhere." She took it from him, and stared at the image of them on the beach, smiling and happy. "I thought you were dead, there was so much to forget, but I was never going to let myself-"

The photo slipped out of her fingers onto the floor, and she looked up at him as a grin spread across her face.

"Kaidan..."

"I know. Shut up." She grabbed his hand and led him down a few stairs into the rest of the room. Kaidan let go of her, and sat down on the small couch, frantically unlacing his boots and removing his socks. He looked up as Shepard's dress landed in a pile on the floor. _Holy shit. _Cerberus had rebuilt her exactly as she had been, every soft curve back in its proper place, covered gently with black lace. The alcohol had given her new bravery, and she grinned down at him.

"You like?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"That... is... um... definitely not military issue." He stammered.

"Well, Major, what are you going to do about it?"

"Join you in casual day?" He stood up from the couch, lifting his shirt over his head as he did so. She laughed, and he pulled her in tightly, skin against skin. "God, I've missed you so much." He mumbled into her hair. "Everyday when I thought you were dead... It felt like part of me was dead as well."

She responded with a gentle kiss to his collarbone, and he inhaled sharply. _There will be time for talk later. Right now, there is lost time to make up for._

Walking her backwards towards the bed, he cradled her with one arm, and gently lowered her down. Grinning wickedly, she shook her head, and pulled him down after her. Within seconds he had his mouth on hers, running his fingers through her hair as she traced her own hands down his back. He fumbled with the clasp on her bra, his brain slightly confused by the smoothness of her skin. The last time he had held her like this, there had been a network of small scars ridging their way across her back. Frustrated, he used a small surge of biotic power to pop the clasp open.

"That's a neat trick." She laughed, arching her back so he could slip the straps off her shoulders.

"It was in my way." He flung the bra behind him, and leaned back, taking in the view. The rush of cold must have negated some of the alcohol effects, because Shepard blushed furiously and covered herself with an arm. "Heeey..."

"Sorry. You know me."

"I do know you. I know you very well." He looked down at her, and grinned. "And now..." He gently moved her hand away. "I get to enjoy the benefits of that, as do you."

He leaned down and kissed her softly, propping himself up on his elbows so he didn't crush her with his weight.

"I do like benefits." She whispered. "Sometimes I like them better then talking."

"Point taken."

They kissed again, harder and faster than before, as if they were trying to make up for the years together they had lost. Kaidan would have liked to taken more time, but the alcohol still had him fuzzy. _Besides, its been way too long since I had her like this. There will be time later to take things slow. _ Only pausing slightly to remove what little remained between them, they spent the next hour completely engrossed in each other. He buried his head in her shoulder, and tried to memorize every moment as it passed. Her quiet gasps, deep inhales, soft laughter... everything brought him back to a time when things were happy. _But things are happy now. Maybe not tomorrow, but right... now..._ He stopped his mind wandering, and put his focus back on Shepard. He flicked a piece of hair off her sweaty forehead, and kissed the spot where it had been. She looked up at him, and nodded, her eyes wide. He felt her fingernails dig into his back as she shuddered underneath him, and let himself relax.

He rolled onto his side, and pulled her blankets up around them. Wiping her forehead, she grinned at him and turned over onto her stomach to grab a small water bottle from a side table.

"Damn, Major." She laughed, after taking a large gulp and passing the bottle to him. "If that's what I've been missing... then getting spaced was definitely a bad idea."

"Don't even joke about that!" His fingers wandered aimlessly across her back as she shrugged at him, and he frowned. "This is so weird."

"This? I thought this is what you wanted..."

"No, this is very much what I wanted. What I want. I meant you, your skin. Its... different. Your scars are gone, your freckles are in different places."

"Well, that's what happens when you grow new skin." She pushed him over onto his back, and curled up under his arm. "Or maybe I'm actually Shepard's evil twin." She laughed heartily, then yawned. "Do you have an evil twin, Kaidan?"

"I'm not sure. If I did, I bet he'd have a moustache."

"Why a moustache?"

"I dunno. I guess you need a moustache to be an evil twin." He returned the yawn. "Let's not go to war. I want to keep you forever."

"You do have me forever." She said sleepily, snaking her arm across his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and stared up at the stars overhead until he drifted off.

When he woke several hours later, the bed was empty, Shepard's side cold. _When did she leave? Why didn't she wake me? _He searched around, looking for his clothes, then got dressed and headed down to the locker room. After a brief shower, he headed to the observation deck, and grabbed his datapad.

"Kaidan,

I don't think I realized how much I needed that.

Or you.

But now we have work to do.

Come find me in the war room at 1300.

-Shepard"

He glanced at the time. 1130. _Enough time to start on my paperwork. __But I'll at least let her know I'm awake. _He smiled to himself as he wrote.

"Hey.

I'm so happy.

That's all.

How can the future be so unsure and so bright at the same time?

Yours,

Kaidan"

_I can feel it. Everything's going to be okay. _

_(A/_N I totally did not write this last part while at work. Noooope. Not at all. Good lord is my face red. I hope no one notices. hahahahaha Anyway... You all totally knew that happened in the game. There is no way they didn't start right back up again after their dinner date. hahaha I'm starting on next chapter tonight! Love you guys! )


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

After spending a few hours working on his expense reports, Kaidan sighed to himself and tossed his datapad aside. _Right. I guess I should head up to the war room, see what Shepard needs. _He smiled in spite of himself; a meeting in the war room probably meant something big was going down, but after last night, just the thought of Shepard made him feel happy. He froze as he left the observation desk, Garrus and Vega stood by the elevator, obviously waiting for him.

"So. I guess the reunion went well?" Garrus asked, his voice teasing.

"You could say that." Kaidan tried to hid his smile, but decided to just go with it. _Why the hell not?_ _Its not like there's any question what went on last night. _"We had a lot to catch up on."

Vega snorted, and Garrus elbowed him in the side.

"Hey, give them a break. Those two have gone through a lot. And Shepard needs a break every once in a while. She has a lot riding on her."

Vega snorted again, and Garrus glared.

"Not what I meant, Vega!"

Kaidan shook his head as they stepped into the elevator.

"Look, just don't let any of this change what you think of her. She's still the Commander, alright? We take her orders, and do what she says." He raised an eyebrow at James. "If I can do that, you can too. Got it?"

Vega nodded, and slumped back against the wall with a grin as the elevator stopped.

"Sure." He laughed. "Always knew she'd clean up nicely."

Rolling his eyes, Kaidan followed them through the security checkpoint and into the war room.

As they stepped into the dark room, Shepard appeared out of the communications office and smiled at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." Kaidan replied, feeling Vega and Garrus's stares on him. Shepard rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to hear anything out of you two. We have important shit to do."

"Yes, Ma'am!" Vega said, crossing his arms and settling up against a wall. "What's the situation?"

"Shouldn't we wait for Liara?" Garrus asked, looking around the room.

"She's busy with our... guest." Shepard made a face. "She's trying to get any information she can out of him about the crucible, and he's making it... difficult." She shook her head softly. "But we have other things to deal with right now." She brought up a galaxy map in the center of the room. "We're on our way to make contact with the Migrant Fleet. They've decided to attack the Geth, instead of helping with the effort against the Reapers. Our job is to convince them to stop."

"I thought we talked them out of that last time!" Garrus sighed, putting his face in his hands. "What is it with those people?"

"They really want their homeworld back." Shepard said with a shrug. "But we have one stop to make before we get there. Hackett just got word of some defected Cerberus scientists he thinks we might be able to recruit to come work on the Crucible. Garrus, I want you and Kaidan to come with me on that. Don't give me that look, Vega. I know you want to fight, but Garrus has dealt with Cerberus before, and I need Kaidan's biotics."

"Bet you do." Vega muttered.

"That's it. Over here, right now!" Shepard grabbed the giant Lieutenant by the collar and dragged him into the communications office. Kaidan and Garrus looked at each other, and quietly made their way over so they could hear what was being said.

"Are we going to have a problem now, Vega? Do you have issue with how I spend my personal time and who I spend it with?"

"No, Ma'am, just trying to be funny."

"This is not the time or the place, Vega."

"Right, Lola. You just let me know when it is the time or place."

Shepard sighed. Kaidan knew she probably had her hand on her face by this point.

"You are a lot more trouble then you are worth sometimes, James."

"I try, Lola. And hey, I like the Major. But if he steps out of line with you..."

"He won't. He's not that kind of man. Now, can we go back to being professional, mature soldiers for a few minutes?"

There was a pause.

"I think I can manage that."

Kaidan and Garrus hurried back to their original positions, and waited for Shepard and Vega to return.

"As I was saying..." Shepard glared at Vega. "We are going to stop off, secure the scientists, get them to an Alliance transport, then continue on to the Migrant Fleet. We don't know what to expect at this facility, so expect everything." She closed the map, and looked down at her datapad. "That's all I've got. We should be arriving in a few hours, so keep an eye on the time. Garrus, Kaidan, I want you two at the shuttle before we break atmosphere."

They nodded, and started to leave the war room. Waiting for Vega and Garrus to get far enough ahead of him, Kaidan turned back, and came up behind Shepard as she worked at a console.

"Hey, there." He said gently. She looked back at him, smiling softly.

"Hey. Sleep okay?" She asked. He nodded, and studied her face, she looked like she hadn't slept in days. _How long did she stay in bed before she left? Is she really sleeping at all?_

"Yeah. I slept great." He leaned closer, and dropped his voice even lower. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'm fine." She said, with the same forced smile she had given him on Eden Prime. _Lying again. I wish I knew how to help her.  
><em>

"I'm glad." He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Say, you left without waking me."

"Didn't have the heart." She said, gently leaning into his hand.

"Aw thanks. But next time, wake me."

She nodded, and picked up her datapad with a sigh.

"I will. There's just so much to do."

"You don't have to do it all on your own, you know."

"I know. But it's easier this way."

Kaidan sighed. _There isn't going to be a way to convince her otherwise until she collapses. The best thing I can do is be there to catch her when she does. _

He ruffled her hair, dodged her half-hearted punch, and headed towards the cockpit. _I haven't actually gotten a chance to talk to Joker yet, other then yelling at him over the intercom. _When he got there, he realized EDI was in his station. He settled into the chair on the other side, and looked over at his old friend.

"Ah, just like old times." Joker said, grinning back at him. "Shit's gone to hell, and you and Shepard are hooking up."

"Good to see you too." Kaidan laughed. "Although things are a bit worse than last time."

"I guess you could say that." Joker looked thoughtfully at his console. "Hey, want to hear something funny I realized yesterday?"

"Go for it."

"Remember when we were first taking the old Normandy out, and had Nihlus on board?"

"Um, yeah?"

"So you were sitting over there..." He gestured to where EDI sat, silently watching them. "and Shepard was behind me..." he made a waving motion with his hand over his head. "And I was, well... here."

"Okay...?"

"And then what did I say? I said, I don't like having Spectres on board, because they only bring trouble. And now what? I've got two of you on my ship, and the whole galaxy is going to hell."

"So... this is my fault?"

"Yup. Reapers, Cerberus, galaxy ending, everything. Your fault."

"Ah. Well... My bad."

"Apology accepted."

There was a long silence before either man spoke again.

"It's good to have you back, Alenko."

"Good to be back, Joker."

Kaidan reached over and gently patted his friend on the shoulder before standing up, and heading down to the crew deck. He had heard rumors of a small lounge area, and wanted to check it out.

He was pleased to see an actual poker table had been installed, many hours had been spent on the SR1 around the mess table awkwardly trying to play. Garrus and James had beaten him down there, but welcomed him into the game. Several hours went by until the doors opened, and James swore under his breath.

"Oh shit."

Javik the Prothean walked in slowly, his four eyes glaring around the room. Liara followed him, frantically entering things onto a datapad.

"Why are you wasting your time with such foolish things?" He asked, his strangely accented voice too loud for the small room.

"Because there's nothing else to do right now?" James ventured.

"There is always something to do. I have been learning this ship. Learning its past, its crew." As Javik's eyes narrowed, Kaidan noticed the double pupils, and shuddered. _That's creepy. _"Turian, your presence is strongest with the large gun. The gun is in good condition. You may not be as useless as the rest. James soldier, you smell of sweat and guns... and unnatural chemicals." He stepped closer, leaning over Kaidan. _Okay, now its really creepy. _"And you, I did not know humans had evolved biotic powers. Explain yourself."

Kaidan swallowed hard.

"Um... it happens when pregnant women are exposed to element zero... most kids don't survive, but the ones that do, if they don't have horrible cancer, they end up with biotics."

Javik cocked his head.

"You are evolutionarily strong then. But weak willed."

"What?"

"Yes. When I took information from your Commander to learn about this cycle, I saw your bond." Kaidan felt his face go red. "It makes you weak to... interact with your Commander in such a way."

He exhaled sharply, and stomped out of the room, Liara gave them a sympathic look, and rushed after him. James looked insulted.

"Unnatural chemicals? Tequlia's made from plants!" He paused, then snickered. "Heeeey, Major... I wonder how much he-"

"Shut up, Vega."

"Right, Major."

After a few more hands, Kaidan and Garrus got up and headed down to the hanger deck. Shepard was waiting for them, and after they got into their armor, they climbed into the shuttle after her. Everything shook as the Normandy broke the planet's atmosphere, the squad stayed quiet as they held onto the walls.

"So what's the word?" Shepard finally asked as the shuttle left the Normandy. "Do we know how long these scientists have been holed up out here?"

Kaidan scrolled through the information on his omnitool.

"The mission brief doesn't say."

"Ma'am!" Cortez called from the cockpit. "I'm picking up chatter from a Cerberus squad engaging the supply depot."

"Engaging the scientists?"

"And if I'm reading it right, sounds like more troops are on the way."

"Okay. Set us down, then get out of here. I need these scientists alive." Shepard ran her hands through her hair. "Fucking Cerberus."

When the shuttle doors opened, a blast of cold air hit Kaidan in the face. _Ah, snow. Great. _He stepped out, and took cover, waiting for Shepard and Garrus to follow him.

"No wonder Cerberus abandoned this base." He said, rubbing the exposed back of his neck. "Its freezing!"

"All right, just keep moving." Shepard said, jogging past him. "And aren't you Canadian? You're supposed to love the snow!" She turned back to grin at him before taking off running down a long walkway. Coming around a small corner, they skidded to a halt as they suddenly found themselves face to face with a small group of startled Cerberus troops.

"Shit." Shepard muttered. Kaidan threw out a burst of his biotics, which knocked the troops off their feet, giving the squad a moment to dive for cover.

"And that's why I take you everywhere!" Shepard yelled, before leaning out and taking down several of the troopers with a lobbed grenade.

"Good to know I'm appreciated for my talents, Commander!" Peeking around the corner, he sent out a wave to overload an engineer trying to set up a turret.

"Would you two shut up?" Garrus called out, shooting the last two troops. He stood up and shook his head at them. "It was bad enough when you thought you were sneaking around. I don't know if I can stomach your battlefield flirting again."

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Kaidan made an apologetic face, and they crept towards the facility doors. Shepard shook her head, laughing quietly.

"What did these people do to bring this down on their heads?" Shepard wondered out loud. Any answer Kaidan had was cut off by screams from near the doors. The smile dropped off her face, replaced instantly with a hardness Kaidan hated. _One day, I'll never have to see her battle face again. _

"Help us! We can't hold them off much longer!"

They quickened their pace, and ran up behind the Cerberus troops menacing the scientists standing guard outside the doors. Once the troops were dead, Shepard bolted forward to check on the civilians.

"Dammit!" She kicked the side of a small wall. All of the scientists that had been outside were dead.

"We got here as fast as we could, Shepard." Kaidan said gently. "There was nothing we could do for them."

"Shepard?" A surprised voice called out from behind a crate.

She turned, and went pale.

"Jacob? Oh my god!" She knelt by the man propped up against a large crate, checking the wound on his side. "How bad?"

"I'll live... I think..." He gasped, and held out a communicator to Shepard. The voice of a frantic woman was calling out over the emergency frequency.

"This is Brynn, if you can hear me, come in!" Shepard took the radio from him, and hit the call button.

"This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance. The enemy is clear for now. Open the door!"

"Is Jacob there?"

"It's okay, Brynn." The man Shepard had called Jacob winced as he held his side. Shepard helped him up as the large doors opened, and a woman dashed out to them, doubling her speed as she saw Jacob's condition.

"Jacob! Oh my god! Are you okay?"

"I'm all right. The others didn't make it." he gasped as they brought him into the facility, the doors slamming shut behind them.

"What are you doing here?" Shepard sounded confused, as if he was the last person she expected to see.

"I'm supposed to be protecting these people from the Illusive Man and his attack dogs!" Jacob frowned, his dark brow furrowing with anger.

"Are they gone?" Brynn asked worriedly.

"For now. But they'll be back." Shepard helped Jacob stand on his own. He grunted as he held his chest. _Getting shot in the ribs hurts like hell. He's going to be feeling that for a while. _Kaidan's mind flashed back to Virmire, when he had taken several hard hits, and been in severe pain for hours.

"Sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'll walk it off." He shook his head. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah, You too." She patted him gently on the arm.

"Hey, Garrus!" Jacob smiled as best he could. "Good to see you, too!"

"Staying out of trouble, I see." Garrus walked up and took the man's hand firmly, as Jacob looked at Kaidan with curiosity. His eyes flicked to Kaidan's rank insignia, then back at Kaidan's face. _I wonder if he recognizes me from Shepard's picture. Seems like everyone else does. _"Um... thanks for the help, Major. I'd salute, but..."

"Don't worry about it. Were you Alliance?"

Jacob nodded.

"Kinda. Corsairs." Kaidan nodded approvingly. He had come across reports from the Corsairs in his time working with intelligence. Jacob breathed out deeply, winced, then gestured with his head to the other woman.

"Shepard, this is Dr. Brynn Cole. She's in charge here."

The women shook hands.

"Tell me what's going on here. Intel says you're Cerberus."

"We're all ex-Cerberus." Dr. Cole put extra emphasis on the 'ex'. "Scientists, mostly."

"Civilians?"

"Call us 'refugees'. If we hadn't run, we'd be dead."

"The Illusive Man doesn't mess around. If he can't control it, he'll destroy it."

"The brain trust here has to be a significant loss for him." Jacob added, leaning against the doctor. Shepard shook her head.

"You had to know they were going to find you."

"Its a pretty smart bunch. We covered out bases." _Obviously not well enough. _The expression on Shepard's face told Kaidan she was thinking the same thing.

"But the Illusive Man is one tenacious bastard." Jacob said. _Huh. Even people who worked for Cerberus hate him. I always figured they practically worshiped the man. _

A large explosion cut off the conversation as everyone grabbed for a handhold.

"Well." Shepard said, looking up. "Time to evacuate."

"Agreed." Jacob nodded forcefully. "Just need to get the AA guns on the roof back online. Cerberus is jamming them somehow. With those guns down, Cerberus will just blow our escape shuttles out of the shy."

"Might be the network link." Dr. Brynn looked thoughtful.

"I'll check, and meet you upstairs." Shepard grabbed his arm.

"Jacob, you should get that wound looked at."

"I'm good. I mean, I will."

"Commander, I should see to my people." Dr. Brynn started to turn away. "Join me upstairs when you can." She jogged to catch up with Jacob, and helped him up the stairs.

"Jacob Taylor. Way out here." Garrus gave a soft laugh. "That's a surprise."

"Someone else from your Cerberus days?" Kaidan asked, and Shepard nodded.

"He was supposed to be another one of my 'handlers' I suppose, like Miranda. I guess that didn't work out."

She walked over to a group of scientists clustered on the floor, where a woman was rocking back and forth on the floor, clutching the body of a fallen comrade.

"Dr. Brown, I'm so sorry." Another scientist said, sitting on the floor beside her.

"Oh, Jamie!" She wailed. "I didn't want to come here with these people! It was his idea! What am I going to do without him?" Kaidan felt his stomach drop. _I always pictured Cerberus as a faceless evil empire. These are just scared scientists. Civilians. __Friends. _He remembered the soul crushing despair he had felt when Shepard had been ripped from him. _Maybe more._

"Finish the work you started." The other man said, his own voice cracking.

"Our work? Are you crazy? We're all going to die here!" Panic rose in the woman's voice, like she was close to utter hysteria.

Shepard knelt down beside her, and took her gently by the arm.

"Your partner was brave. He wouldn't want you to crumble like this." Her eyes flicked up towards Kaidan, who nodded softly.

"She's right." The man said, slowly pulling Dr. Brown away from the body. She collapsed against him, sobbing gently.

"We're getting out of here alive. I promise." Shepard stood up quickly, and moved towards the stairs, her hands clenched into tight fists.

"You okay?" Kaidan asked quietly as they made their way up the stairs. Shepard gave a quick nod, not meeting his eyes. His chest felt tight. _Dammit. I get her to open up, relax just a little, then we find more dead civilians, and she closes herself off again. _Gritting his teeth, he practically barreled into her as she stopped suddenly at the top of the stairs.

"Commander Shepard." A scientist turned away from a console to face her. "Dr Gavin Archer. We... met on Project Overlord." He held his hand out to her.

Shepard's eyes narrowed, and she stepped away from him.

"That's one way of putting it."

"Yes. Well. After you sent my brother to Grissom Academy, I tried putting it all behind me." Kaidan's mind raced. _Archer... Archer... David? This is David's brother? _He thought of the mentally broken boy he had encountered at the Academy, and what he had heard about his past with Cerberus. _No wonder Shepard looks like she's about to punch him. I want to punch him. _"I don't suppose you have any news from there? I've heard rumors the Academy is in trouble." _Trouble? What kind of trouble? What happened while I was stuck in the hospital? _Images of all of the kids he had worked with flashed through his mind. He inhaled sharply, frantically glancing at Shepard.

"I was at Grissom Academy." She said, arms folded across her chest. "Cerberus tried abducting the students, but David's okay."

Kaidan let out his held breath at the same time as Dr. Archer.

"Oh, thank god." The man said, wiping his forehead. "Commander, you have no idea what that means."

"Its a little late to start worrying about his safety now." She hissed, leaning towards him.

"I never stopped." He looked down at his feet. "I know you think I'm a monster. And you're right. Not a day goes by where my dreams aren't haunted by what I did to David. All I can do now is hope that one day he forgives me."

"What are you doing here?" Shepard's voice was flat, emotionless.

"I strayed too far from the path. This was my only refuge." Dr. Archer finally looked up to meet Shepard's eyes. "As a boy, I wanted to be a scientist remembered for doing right by the world. Curing a disease, or discovering a new element. Not a monster who tortured his own brother."

"What did you say to the Illusive Man?"

"I told him if his intention as to work with the devil, he only had to look in the mirror. I wanted out of his nightmare."

"He just let you go?" The man shook his head.

"If it had been that easy, I wouldn't be hiding here. Every Cerberus soldier in the galaxy has orders to shoot me on sight." He turned away, but Shepard wasn't done with him.

"What happened to Project Overlord?"

"After your... intervention, the Illusive Man insisted I find another test subject." Kaidan's mouth fell open. _I thought I hated the Illusive Man before... but this just keeps getting _worse. "Someone who shared my brother David's... abilities. I couldn't bear the thought of relieving the nightmare. So I destroyed my research. Overlord is no more."

"I have to go." Kaidan had never heard Shepard sound so cold. "I'm not even going to pretend it was good to see you again."

"I understand." Archer hung his head. "But Commander... thank you for saving David. Both times." Shepard gave a curt nod, and walked away from him. They made it around a corner before Kaidan grabbed her arm.

"Shepard, I know we have things to do here, but I have to know, what happened at Grissom? Did everyone get out okay? Kahlee Sanders? Jack? The kids?"

She looked up at him, and her face softened.

"Yes. We got everyone out." She rubbed her arms and sighed. "I'm sorry. I forgot that you were there for a while." She paused, a strange look crossing her face. "Jack? You met Jack?"

"Briefly. She took over for me with training the younger kids. She called me an ass."

"That sounds like her. But yes, everyone was evacuated safely."

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief. _I don't know what I would have done if we had lost those kids to Cerberus. _He thought about his students again, somewhere out in the galaxy. _I hope they're okay. _

They found Brynn by a large window, talking to another one of the refugee scientists.

"...And make sure those samples from Project Mia get out on the second shuttle."

"I've already dropped one box, my hands were shaking so hard."

"We're going to make it." Brynn said warmly, patting the man on the shoulder. He nodded, and walked away towards a large stack of boxes.

"What's the status of the guns?" Shepard asked.

"Still waiting. I have my best people on it."

"How many scientists are here?"

"Forty three, plus research assistants." _That's not too bad. We can get that many out on a few shuttles. _

"You ran with over forty people?" Garrus sounded surprised. Brynn made a face, like she wasn't telling them everything.

"When you fear for your life, there's a lot you can do."

Another scientist ran up and frantically interrupted their conversation.

"Brynn, I can't possibly dismantle the genetic amplification components in time!"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Baynar, its important work, but right now, you need to tend to your family."

Shepard and Kaidan froze at the same time.

"Wait. There are families here? Children?" Shepard snapped.

"Like we didn't have enough to worry about." Garrus shook his head.

"So those refugees brought everyone with them?" She sounded horrified.

"Yes, we have about 17 kids here, partners, spouses, parents. I'd promised these people refuge. A new life free from Cerberus. I just never imagined the Illusive Man would..." Brynn trailed off, not able to put words to her fears.

"No second guessing. Lets just get these people the hell out of here." Shepard nodded firmly at the doctor, who nodded back. "And not one more lost." She looked back at Kaidan and Garrus. "This escape will have to be carefully executed." Shepard cracked her knuckles, agitation in her voice.

"I'd hoped... we tried so hard to make sure it wouldn't come to this." Brynn shook her head sadly as Jacob joined them, still limping and holding his side. Shepard turned to face him.

"What's the news?"

"Can't tell. I only know I can't fix it from here. I'm going to the roof. Cerberus landed a shuttle there couple minutes ago. You in?" Shepard shook her head at him.

"Jacob, you're injured. I'll fix the guns."

"No way. These are my people. I'm going."

"Just because you survive one suicide mission doesn't mean you get two!" He shrunk back as she practically yelled in his face. _Someone needs to tell __her that._

"Fine." He leaned against a wall with a sigh, holding his hands up in a sign of defeat. "But I'm going to talk you through it from here. Cerberus is probably jamming the satellite link. Radio me when you've found the controls, and I'll give you the override code."

"Will do."

Shepard started to walk away, but Garrus stepped in front of her, giving his head an almost imperceptible shake. She sighed, and turned back to Jacob.

"Are you okay? How have you been?"

"This is crazy. I didn't think I'd ever see you again." He winced as he gave a small smile. Shepard laughed. Even though Kaidan knew there was nothing between them but friendship, he felt a small pang of jealousy in his chest. _I should have been there too. I should have gone with her when she asked me on Horizon. _

"I know the feeling. So how'd you become a gun for hire?"

"Long story. It was an opportunity I couldn't resist for people I came to care about." He quickly glanced over at Brynn. Kaidan smiled to himself, knowing exactly what was going through Jacob's head. _Its weird how it takes a galactic war to bring some people together. _

"You seem good. You look good." He rolled his eyes at her, then glanced over at the bustling scientists.

"These are great people. Defending their ideals... I like it. I think I found what I'm meant to do."

Shepard patted him on the arm.

"Go get checked out. I should focus on getting these people out of here."

"You bet. Let's get to it." He hobbled off towards the small med bay, and Shepard turned to her squad.

"So." Kaidan said. "Fixing AA guns. Something I never wanted to do again."

"This time, I'm not letting you out of my sight." Shepard said softly. "Not like Virmire. Never like Virmire again."

He nodded, looking down at her serious face. Virmire and the choices made there still haunted them both, even after so many years.

"We're going to get everyone out, Shepard. Even the kids. All of them."

"Everyone." She said absently, and headed towards the roof access ladder. As he waited for her to get the hatch open, he looked around at the scientists. _Funny, they seem just like normal people. Maybe they did think they were helping the galaxy by working for Cerberus. None of them seem particularly evil, and at least now they all hate the Illusive Man. _He sighed, and started up the ladder after Shepard. _When we get back to the Normandy, I have a lot to think about. _

He climbed through the hatch, and into the bracing cold.


	9. Chapter 9

(A/N this part has more "necessary to the plot" combat, which I suck at writing, so I apologize in advance. gaaaah!)

Chapter 9

When they reached the facility roof, Kaidan shielded his eyes from the sun, and scanned around for any Cerberus presence.

"That Jacob guy said he saw a shuttle land, but I don't see anything yet." He said quietly as they snuck through the maze of vents.

"Keep your eyes peeled." Shepard hissed back. "We don't want to walk into an ambush."

"The guns are up there." Garrus pointed to a large tower. "If we can get up that ladder, we should have access to the controls."

"Great. Lets do this quick."

They climbed up the ladder and ran for the gun, where the exposed access panel was a blinking disaster of error messages.

"Right." Shepard stared at the controls and bit down on her lip. "Now for another reason why I bring you along. Kaidan, do you think you can get this sorted out?"

"Yeah, just give me a few minutes." He knelt down, and got to work. _This shouldn't be to hard to override. _

"Um... I don't think we have a few minutes." Garrus said as a Cerberus shuttle circled overhead like a bird of prey.

"Shit." Shepard muttered. "Major, I'm gonna need that gun online, double time."

"Working on it!"

"Okay. You just... stay there and... do that... and we'll cover you." She unclipped her sniper rifle and crouched down behind a large heating element.

Garrus pulled out his own rifle, and took up position next to Shepard.

"Hope you're better at shooting Cerberus than bottles, Shepard."

"Stuff it, Vakarian."

Kaidan glanced up to see the shuttle stop, hover over the far side of the tower, and drop several troops. Two died before they hit the ground, thanks to Garrus.

"Focus on the gun, Kaidan!" Shepard yelled. "Don't worry about the troops!"

Turning his attention back to the console, Kaidan frantically tried to sort out the tangled code. __Whoever jammed this really did a number on it. __He narrowed his eyes, and attacked the wiring itself. __Maybe I can just force it to reboot...__ The sound of rifle fire died away, and he breathed easier.

"Wait, what was that?" He heard Garrus call out.

"What was what?"

"I saw something moving over there."

"Where?"

"There! Coming closer!"

"Hit it!"

"You hit it!"

"I'm trying! It's moving too fast!"

"HIT IT!" Garrus yelled in frustration. "It's almost on us!"

Kaidan looked up to see a small figure charging towards them, a long blade pointed straight at his face. He was so tangled in the wiring that he couldn't bring his biotics up in anything more than a basic shield, before it was practically on top of him.

"NO!" Shepard screamed, and the hooded figure's head exploded, sending it sliding into a wall. Shepard collapsed against him, breathing hard, her pistol drawn. "No. Goddamn ninja bitches. NO."

"What was-"

"Finish with the guns, Kaidan." She pulled herself up, and popped the heat sink before holstering her sidearm. She walked over and kicked the sword out of the body's hand, and Kaidan glanced up at Garrus with confusion.

"A Phantom. They were with Kai Leng on the Citadel." The Turian said softly. "That sword is the kind he used when he killed Thane."

Nodding, Kaidan finished rewiring the gun. The console flickered, then brought up a screen free of error messages.

"Shepard, you can call Jacob for the access codes now."

She spoke quietly into her radio, then walked over and punched in the code. The guns sprung to life, searching the sky for targets.

"Lets get out of here." She said softly. Kaidan stepped in front of her, looking down sternly.

"Are you okay? What was that?"

"She was going to stab you in the face." Shepard muttered.

"Shepard..."

"I know. It was dumb. I can't let myself get emotional."

"No. I was going to say thanks. I didn't really want to get stabbed in the face." He squeezed her arm. "But yeah, you have to calm down. I know when civilians, especially kids, are on the line, it stresses you out, but we have to keep our cool if we are going to get through this war. At this point, there really aren't any non-combatants. Even the civilians are going to have to start defending themselves."

She looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Yeah. I know." She patted his arm. "How did I manage without you?"

Garrus coughed loudly.

"You had me, remember?" He stepped up between them. "Sorry to interrupt this touching moment, but we have people to evacuate."

"Right. Right. Sorry." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, and let Shepard pass. When she was out of earshot, he leaned towards Garrus. "Was she this twitchy when you guys were going after the Collectors?"

Garrus shook his head.

"She got upset when civilians were involved, but never this bad. And now she has you to worry about. Everyone is counting on her, and I think the pressure is really starting to get to her. I don't know what to do."

"I don't either. I wish I did."

Jacob and Brynn met them in the hanger deck when they returned. The AA guns shook the building as they fired, clearing the way for their escape.

"Okay, the guns are already picking Cerberus ships out of the sky." Shepard called out to them. "Where are we at?"

"On track." Jacob strode towards them, his pain cleared up by several doses of medigel. "The first shuttle is already loaded with everyone under sixteen."

"Commander, when should we leave? What's our best chance for survival?" Brynn came up behind Jacob and took his hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Jacob, what do you think? Are we ready?"

"Almost. We could go now. But there's no do-overs here."

"Agreed. We get one shot."

"And we don't want to leave anything behind that could strengthen the Illusive Man's cause. Your call."

Shepard looked around at the empty facility. Dismantled consoles and empty boxes were strewn everywhere.

"Let's get out of here."

Jacob and Brynn nodded, and the doctor spoke into her radio.

"Evacuation is go. Evacuation is go!"

They ran down the stairs, and opened the hanger doors. The first shuttle was hovering, ready to launch. "Have the guns punch a hole in the perimeter, then launch shuttle one!" Shepard yelled over the engine noise. Without thinking, Kaidan reached down and took her hand. They watched, frozen with apprehension as the first shuttle blasted towards the sky. A Cerberus gunship approached it, and Shepard squeezed his hand tightly, but the AA guns tore it to pieces before it could get close. Kaidan felt Shepard exhale. The kids were safe.

"Alright! Lets get everyone else out of here!"

A loud explosion rocked the facility, shaking it to the foundation.

"Shit!" Jacob yelled. "A suicide ship just took out one of the guns!"

"Launch the shuttles! We'll have Cortez get us, we just need to get the civilians out now!"

Peering out through the open hanger doors, Shepard swore under her breath.

"Dammit, they have troops on the ground! Don't let them get to the refugees!" She ran out and took cover behind a large vent. Garrus and Kaidan exchanged a look, and followed her out. "Jacob, get Brynn to the shuttles!"

"She won't go!" He called out, the pair coming up behind them. "We're gonna help you hold them off."

"Right! Um, Brynn, do what you can with that pistol. Jacob, team up with Kaidan, and see what damage you can do with your biotics!"

"Got it, Commander!" Jacob crept along the vent until he was next to Kaidan. "Major! You have a plan?"

"Take out what you can, but keep an eye out on the rooftops for snipers! If you see one, fling it up so Garrus can get it. I'm gonna stick to my pistol, but watch for any more of those phantoms. If one starts coming for us, I'll have a barrier ready to throw up. We can't let those things get close to us."

"Got it."

The wave of troops moved towards them, hiding behind a wall of riot shields.

"Kaidan, get the shields!" Shepard called out, and Kaidan responded with a wave of biotic energy, ripping them away from the troopers. "Thank you!"

"Shit, it's Shepard!" One of the troops called out as it scrambled for cover. Shepard shot him before he got there.

"Its nice that they recognize you." Garrus said. "Its like when the Krogan name a Thresher Maw."

"Are you comparing me to Kalros?"

"I'm just saying-"

"Phantom!" Kaidan called out, leaping to his feet and throwing out his barrier. The woman twitched, her sword swinging wildly as she tried to get out of the biotic field.

"Fucking bitches." Shepard snarled, and took it out with one shot. Kaidan released the field, and let the limp body drop to the ground. They watched quietly as the last of the refugee shuttles took off. "Lets get back to the Normandy." She kicked the phantom as they passed it, making their way towards Cortez and their waiting shuttle. Following Brynn, Jacob and Garrus onboard, Kaidan turned around to give Shepard a hand up. She wasn't there. He looked back to see her standing at the bottom of the small stairs, her gun dangling from limp fingers. Before her stood thirty Cerberus troops. They had completely overtaken the facility. _What the fuck is she doing?_

"SHEPARD! GET ON THE DAMN SHUTTLE!" Garrus roared at her. She shook her head, as if waking up, and bolted towards them. "And watch out for the mech!"

The warning came too late, the rocket hit right behind Shepard, knocking her to the ground. Without even thinking, Kaidan jumped off the shuttle and ran to her.

"Get up!" He grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to her feet. She stared at him with a dazed expression, blood trickling down from a cut above her eyebrow.

"What?" _Dammitdammitdammit. _He threw his weight under her so that her toes barely touched the ground, and dragged her to the shuttle. He practically tossed her at Garrus, then climbed on board as the shuttled screamed away.

Pushing her down into a seat, Kaidan grabbed a first aid kit, and started applying medigel to the small gash on her forehead.

"What the hell was that, Commander?"

"I don't know." She muttered. "There were just a few of them, I thought I could take them. Take back the facility for those people. But then there were more of them. I couldn't stop them all..." She pushed her hair back and looked up at him. "I just need to sit for a minute."

"You need to sleep." Garrus knelt down next to them. "Shepard, what did I tell you before? You need a clear head to win a war. There's no room for mistakes. You almost got yourself killed down there."

She nodded.

"Fine. I'll sleep before we get to the Migrant Fleet." She looked up at Jacob and Brynn, sitting across from her.

"Are you okay, Shepard?" Jacob asked, leaning forward. "With everything that's happened?"

"I'm fine. No problems. Just tired." _And there's that lying little smile._ "What about you? Do you still think about what happened to your dad?"

"Haunts me, more like." He made a face, and Brynn took his hand gently. Shepard laughed.

"You settling down, Jacob?"

"Yeah. Maybe. Its just uh..." He looked over at Brynn with a smile, then back to Shepard. "If these are our final days, I want to spend them protecting these people. Building a life. Whatever's left of it."

"We could sure use you, back on the Normandy."

"Its real tempting, Shepard. But I like where I'm at. I'm important to these people. I want a life. I want a family."

"Sure. I get that." Shepard's eye glanced over to Kaidan, and he smiled back at her.

"No, Shepard." Jacob looked at Kaidan with an apologetic frown. "The Normandy is your real love." _What the hell does that mean? _Shepard scowled, her expression mirroring what Kaidan knew was on his own face.

"Doesn't mean I don't want to say 'to hell with it' sometimes!"

"But you won't. You can't."

They glared at each other, until Garrus cleared his throat loudly.

"Anything on Cerberus we should know about?" The Turian said, trying to change the subject.

"The Illusive Man became obsessed with indoctrination, I know that. Do you ever wonder how it all went wrong? I mean, was I blind? I remember him being an idealist... How come I couldn't see the evil?"

"Don't beat yourself up." Shepard said, folding her arms across her chest. "And if you ever get that crystal ball working, give me a heads up. Cause I'd love to know how this all plays out."

"Huh. Right."

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Cortez called back to them.

"Commander, the Normandy has met up with a small fleet from the Alliance. They're here to escort the scientists to the Crucible. When we land back on the Normandy, we'll dock with the frigate so you can escort Mr. Taylor and Dr. Cole over for a quick briefing. We'll have to be quick though, this area is still considered a hot zone."

"Got it, Cortez. Thanks."

When they arrived back on the Normandy, Shepard, Brynn and Jacob took off for the elevator, while Kaidan and Garrus packed up their gear.

"Garrus? What did he mean, the Normandy is Shepard's real love?"

"I don't really know." Garrus confessed. "He didn't seem to have any interest in her during his time with us, and he knew about you. He was the first person she ran into when she woke up, but never treated her as anything more than a senior officer. I wouldn't dwell on it."

Kaidan nodded, and they headed up to the crew deck. Exiting the lift, they ran into Liara, finally free of her Prothean babysitting duties.

"Hey, most of the crew is in the lounge to watch us dock with the fleet, and relax a little. Would you like to join us?"

"Sounds good." Garrus said. "You coming, Kaidan?"

"Nah, I think I'll go to the other side. I need to think some stuff over."

"Okay. We'll meet up later."

His friends departed, and Kaidan entered his makeshift office and dropped down onto the couch. Alliance ships floated around them, surrounding the Normandy like a protective bubble, and he watched them absently, letting his mind wander. __I don't know how she's holding together. Everything she's been through, all the expectations people have of her.. but she's losing her grip. __He thought back to his friends on the Citadel, and how the Cerberus refugees had looked at her like she was a god come to save them.__ She's so concerned with saving everyone else that she's forgotten about saving herself. I guess that's where I come in. If she isn't going to watch out for herself, I'll have to do it for her. __He leaned his head back against the edge of the couch. _Its funny, I thought I was finally over my whole 'needing to protect everyone' mindset. But she needs me. Just like the galaxy needs her. _He watched the last of the Cerberus shuttles head towards the frigate. __I've spent so long demonizing Cerberus in my head. But those were just scared people. They really thought they were helping humanity...__

Once the refugee shuttles were secured, the Normandy slipped away from the rest of the fleet. He watched silently as the Alliance ships shrank out of sight, and the Normandy headed for a relay.

The door hissed open behind him, and Kaidan looked back, startled to see Shepard instead of Garrus and Liara.

"Hey, there you are." He said warmly, scooting over to let her join him on the couch. "Its always good to see you, Commander."

"Are you flirting with me, Major?" She folded her arms across her chest, and made a face up at him.

"If you have to ask, I'm clearly out of practice. When we've got time, you'll have to let me practice." She grinned at him, that big stupid grin that made his heart melt. "You know, I've just been sitting here thinking..."

"Uh Oh. Okay. Hit me with it." She put his hand on her lap and laced her fingers in his. They sat for a moment like they had years ago, tucked in the corner of his station on the SR1.

"So those Cerberus scientists. They were good people."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Dr. Cole and her team. They seemed like... good people. Knowing that, what do we do? Knowing that there are more like them trapped in Cerberus, struggling to get out?" Shepard tilted her head and studied his face, her expression curious.

"Tell me what you think we should do."

"I don't know, Shepard. These are the hard calls. The decision to sacrifice one for the many... The choice to leave someone behind... Until you're in that moment..." His voice trailed off as her face fell. __Why does everything seem to come back to Virmire? ____We've____ both____ tried so hard to put that day behind us.__ "So yeah, you know. I don't know."

"Anyone that comes forward, like these people, we help. No matter what. That's the best we can do."

"I know." He rested his head against hers. The Normandy hit the relay, and he felt the gentle tug as the stars blurred.

"Sometimes the best we can do won't feel like enough..." She said softly. "but its all we've got." He stood up and walked over to the large window. Placing his arm against it, he leaned his head forward until it rested on the cool glass. A new set of stars blinked back at him. __I can't look at her while I talk about this. I don't know why.__

"So the scientists that... put you back together... that saved your life. They were good people?"

"They were professionals. I didn't know them all." She said honestly.

"And the Illusive Man?"

"Was he a good person?"

"Once? Ever?"

"Well, he gave me what I needed to stop the Collectors..." Kaidan cut her off mid-sentence.

"Right. Exactly. But you never saw this coming from them? From him?" He turned and felt his heart sink, she stared at him with a hurt expression on her face. __Dammit. Here I am, acting like a jerk, like I don't trust her again.__ "Sorry. I'm not sure what I want you to say here. I guess I'm looking for some kind of insight on the Illusive Man... Something."

"Back then he wanted the best for humanity, and he had the resources to spare. But then it became humanity first and at any cost. And that... that's a very different thing." She sighed, and Kaidan sat back down, pulling her in close. "But this? No. I never saw this coming from him."

"Hmm. Okay. Well thanks, Shepard. I'm glad we could talk about this."

"Meanwhile, you should find a way to take your mind off things."__ Is that how you do it? Distraction?__ _I don't think it's working._

"I know. Joker keeps asking me to give him some poker tips. He keeps losing his shirt to James."

"Good luck with that. Joker has a terrible poker face." She laughed, and untangled herself from him, standing up slowly.

"Heh. Great. I like a challenge. I guess I'll see you around."

"You bet." She hesitated awkwardly, looking at the floor.

"Was there something else?" He asked hesitantly.

"Um..." Redness crept across her face. "So, even though we are running with a short crew... I guess during the retrofit, and after we fled Earth... everyone pretty much took over their own personal space. You'll notice we don't really have the communal sleep pods any more."

"Yeah, I saw that. And Liara has a pretty nice bed in her office. Where is Garrus sleeping?"

"In a hammock."

"Let me guess, in the main battery?"

She nodded.

"I swear he'd marry that gun if he could." She looked away. "Anyway... I didn't think you would want to kick someone out of a bed... so... um..."

"Shepard." He took her hands gently. "You asked me once before to bunk with you for the night. Are you trying to do that again?"

She nodded.

"Not just for the night." She looked up, finally meeting his eyes with hers, and took a deep breath."I just thought... I thought about what Jacob said. About building a life. And it would be weird after last night if you slept somewhere else and since we basically talked about staying together as long as we could I mean assuming neither of us dies and the Reapers don't kill us all we could move to a colony and... well..." She stopped talking when she realized he was laughing.

"Hey, calm down." He stood up, taking her face in his hand. "I'll bring up my stuff. But you have to promise me one thing. You are actually going to try and sleep."

She nodded, and walked towards the door.

"I mean it, Shepard. You have to sleep."

"I will." She smiled back at him. "We have about twenty hours or so till we get to the migrant fleet, so everyone is going to get some shut eye before we get there. I was going to try and nap in about eight."

"Right. I'll see you up there." He frowned. "Hey, Shepard... You know we're going to have to talk about what happened down there. No changing the subject or anything."

She nodded quickly and left, leaving Kaidan shaking his head. __I hope I can help her. I can't let her self destruct. __He grabbed his datapad, and wandered over to the crew lounge, finding Garrus sitting at the small bar.

"What are you drinking?"

"Turian brandy. I'd offer you some, but it would probably kill you."

"Right. The dextro thing." Kaidan laughed. "So you brought alcohol that only you can drink? Smart."

"Well, me... and if we pick up any other Turians, or Quarians..."

"So it'll be you and Tali down here getting drunk later? That sounds like a party waiting to happen." The silence went on a little too long. "Wait. What? You... and Tali? Is that something else that happened last year?"

"No!" Garrus set his drink down, and looked as embarrassed as a Turian could. "I mean, nothing happened. I've just... felt... maybe... I don't know."

"You're sure you haven't watched Fleet and Flotilla too many times?"

"I don't want to talk to you if you aren't going to take me seriously, Alenko."

"After all the crap you've given me about Shepard, you don't expect me to tease you at all?"

"Fair enough." He sighed, his mandibles twitching. "I don't even know if we'll see her when we get to the Migrant Fleet, or if she'll be busy, or if she'll come with us... I don't even know if she's alive."

Kaidan slapped him on the back, wincing slightly. He'd forgotten how hard Turians were.

"Hey, its the end of the Galaxy. Stranger things have happened."

Garrus nodded, and poured himself another drink.

"Twenty hours till the Migrant Fleet. Enough time to drink up some courage, and then sleep it off."

Laughing, Kaidan pulled up a bar stool, and picked up his datapad to send a message to Shepard.

"Hey you.

Thanks again for the chat. Sometimes you gotta talk through things to figure them out.

One more thing about the Illusive Man,

Can't help but be grateful he brought you back.

Weird feeling.

Life's strange.

Yours."

He sat with Garrus for a few hours, listening to his old friend talk about Palaven, his sister, his mother, Tali, and anything else that crossed his mind. He even told Kaidan about the people who had gone with them to the Collector base that they had lost, the Salarian scientist Mordin, and Thane.

"He... sang?"

"Oh yeah." Garrus rolled his eyes."The little prima donna. I'm really going to miss that guy."

"Major?" EDI's voice startled Kaidan as it came out of a small speaker on the wall. "Doctor Chakwas would like to see you in the medical bay. She says you've been avoiding her long enough."

Kaidan groaned, and bid Garrus goodbye. The Turian held his glass up in farewell, and went back to drinking.

Chakwas greeted him with a warm hug, and forced him onto one of the examination tables.

"Now, Major, before I hear all about what you've been doing, I want to get your amp and your ribs checked out. I would have liked to do this before you went out on missions, but never got the chance."

"Good to see you too, Doc." He had always liked Chakwas, and they had gone through a lot. They had escaped the crashing Normandy together, and she had been the one to calm him down when Shepard's death had sent him into a blind rage.

She took her time, asking questions about his headaches, checking the places where his ribs had cracked. __It's nice having a doc who knows my history. I'm so tired of explaining things to people.__

"Is the L2 giving you any new problems?"

Kaidan felt the back of his neck where his implant scar was.

"Nothing new. And I've not had a migraine in a few weeks." She nodded approvingly.

"When it got knocked loose during your attack, the staff at Huerta wanted to replace it. I had to talk them out of it, the procedure would have been much to risky, and your survival was already in question."

"Thanks, Doc. Nice to know someone was there looking out for me."

She smiled brightly, and pulled up her chair.

"Now tell me everything. I get so little gossip in here nowadays."

He told her everything. He hadn't meant to, but it all came out in a rush. About his friends on the Citadel, trying to pull himself together for two years, then breaking down after Horizon. When he mentioned the colony, Chakwas nodded, a grim expression on her face.

"Ah yes. Shepard was a delight for days after that. I'll follow the Commander to hell..." She shuddered. "And I did... but she's got mood swings like a teenager. It probably stems from her upbringing, or lack of one."

"You know about that?"

"I"m her medical officer. Of course I know about that. She's only ever known a life on the street, or in the military. Its a miracle she's as well adjusted as she is." She patted his arm. "I'm hoping you will be a... stabilizing element for her."

"I hope so." He sighed. "Speaking of stabilizing elements, do you have anything I can give her that will make her sleep?"

Chakwas rummaged around in a cabinet, then emerged with a small injector.

"Give her a shot of this, and in five minutes she'll be out for about eight hours. Its supposed to work for a full day, but the when Cerberus rebuilt her, they did something to her, and her resistance to medigel and other chemicals shot to absurd levels. Normally I wouldn't condone this sort of thing, but the Commander's stress levels are off the charts, and apparently she told Garrus she has no plans to sleep until the war is over. We still have a long way to go, and she needs to be at her best."

They spoke for another hour, before Kaidan decided to head up to Shepard's cabin. _Our cabin. _He smiled to himself as he boarded the elevator. _Maybe she'll be up there, and we can talk before we sleep..._The doors opened, and Shepard looked up from her desk.

"Hey, Kaidan."

"Hey, you." She smiled briefly, before turning away from her console. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah." He took her by the hand and led her down to the small couch. "I need to know what happened down there, at the Cerberus base."

"Nothing happened. We got everyone off world." She looked down at her hands.

"Shepard, I can tell when you're lying to me. Look. If this is going to work, you have to trust me. Tell me what's going on."

"I let my heart get the better of me. It was so much easier when I thought you hated me, and we were going on a suicide mission. I didn't have to care. But now I do. I can't let anything happen to you."

"I'm a grown man, Shepard. A marine. A biotic. A Spectre. I'll be fine. Hell, if anything is strong enough to take me down, it'll probably take you down too." He sighed. "I'm sorry, that was depressing as hell. The point is... don't worry about me. Let me worry about you."

"I'm just tired. That's all."

"Then sleep! We have twelve hours till we get to the Quarians. We can just lie down and forget everything for a while."

She shook her head gently, and put her head in her hands.

"I can't forget. Anything. And it all comes back worse when I sleep."

"What do you mean? Like nightmares?"

She stood up with a sigh and walked over to her fish tank, leaning her head against it as he had done to the window several hours before.

"I hear them all... calling out to me... asking me why I couldn't save them. At first it was just Ash... then Mordin, and Thane." She turned back to look at him, her face a mask of sadness. "So many shadows. All the colonists I couldn't save from the Collectors... Everyone we left behind on Earth..."

"Shepard... you have to push through it." He walked over to her, and pulled her over towards the bed. Sitting on the edge, he removed his own boots before tugging hers off, then scooted back until they sat in the middle of the bed. "I should know. I carried you and Ash with me every day for two years." He kissed the top of her head. "She died when I should have, and you were torn away from me. I went crazy. Did Chakwas tell you about that?"

Shepard nodded, lying back and staring up through the large window, Kaidan followed suit, letting her curl up against him.

"Did you really crack the visor on your helmet?"

"I'm surprised that's all I did. When Joker climbed out of that escape pod alone, I felt like someone had reached into my chest, and ripped my heart out. I couldn't breathe. Everything went red." He sighed. "But what I'm trying to get at... just feeling the guilt of two deaths had me unable to function. I was on desk duty for a year until I was able to cope. But we have so much we have to get done, and so little time to do it... You have to carry the galaxy to victory. You can't carry the dead too."

"And this is the last reason I take you everywhere. I need you to be my rock."

Kaidan propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. He ran his thumb gently over the healing cut on her forehead.

"You don't need a rock. You have enough hard things in your life. You need somewhere soft to fall. Let me be that for you." She grinned up at him, then pulled him down for a gentle kiss. "And right now you need to sleep."

"I will, but I'll only stay asleep for a few hours. My brain won't let me."

"Then lets override your brain." She looked up at him with confusion.

"What?"

"Chakwas gave this to me. You need at least eight hours of sleep if you're going to be able to calm down the Quarians, and the Geth are probably going to put up a fight as well. I know you aren't the best at diplomacy in the first place, so you need all the help you can get." She made a face at him, then stared suspiciously at the syringe. "Do you trust me?"

With a deep sigh, she nodded, and let him brush the hair away from her neck. She winced from the injection, then frowned.

"How long till it kicks in? Can I get some work done?"

"Nope." He pulled the blankets up around them, and hit the switch above the bed to turn the lights off. "Five minutes, max."

"Oh. Okay."

"Don't worry. I won't let you oversleep."

"Yeah. Wake me up if anything happens. I don't want to die in my sleep."

"You aren't going to die. Not again. I won't let that happen." She laughed softly, and rolled over to face him. "What's so funny about that?"

"Actually, you did almost kill me."

"What? When?"

"Remember when we were saving the council, and you had them in the elevator? Right before we caught up with you?"

"Yeah..."

"Did you shoot the ceiling of the elevator?"

"Yeah... We heard gunmen land on the top. I had to protect the Council... Oh. Wait. No." _Fuuuuuuuck._

"Yup. That was me up there. Ass." She grinned lazily, her eyelids drooping. "No more shooting at me, okay?"

"I promise."

"Goodnight, Kaidan."

"Goodnight, Shepard. No dreams, okay?" She nodded, drifting off with her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and closed his own eyes. _I wish I could stand guard inside your head while you sleep. But that's the one place I can't help you._ "Goodnight, love. Tomorrow we fight again."

(A/N and onwards to the Geth! Kaidan finally gets to find them! (yay tumblr jokes!) anyway, I really did like the fact that unromanced Garrus and Tali end up together, but it really seemed to come out of the blue. I like to think that Garrus has been crushing on her since the first game, so I'm throwing that in here as well, because why the hell not.

I'm starting to think I'm going to finish this before the "clarification" DLC comes out. Maybe. They have just said "summer" and that can mean anything from early June to late August. From what I've heard, I think it will fit pretty well with my headcanon of rescue and shenko babies ever after, so we all should be okay. So yeah. This will be fun.)


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Kaidan's eyes opened to darkness, the only light coming through the window from distant stars, and he glanced over at the small clock on the wall. __Four hours till we get to the Migrant Fleet. __He smiled, feeling the weight of Shepard's head still on his chest.__That stuff really did a number on her___. ___I should thank the doctor. __His smiled faded as he realized she hadn't moved at all since falling asleep. __Wait. Shit. __He shifted his weight to move his arm, and held it gently against her back. __Okay, she's still breathing. God. What if I had killed her? __The horrible thought drifted away as she stirred under his touch. Blinking slowly, she looked up at him, already looking more rested than she had in a long time.

"Hey." She said, stretching her shoulders. "What time is it?"

"0500."

"What? Really?" She rubbed her eyes, and rolled over onto her back. Kaidan reached up and turned the lights up slightly so he could see her better. "I haven't slept that long in years. You should keep that stuff handy."

"Maybe. You can't rely on it, though. You're going to have to deal with things eventually."

"I will. Eventually." She stared out at the stars, breathing deeply.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just letting the last of that stuff wear off. I react weirdly to meds now."

"Chakwas mentioned something about that. Something Cerberus did?" Shepard nodded, her hair rustling against the sheets.

"It's actually come in handy a few times. When I was dealing with Doctor Kenson, right before the Alpha relay blew up, they gave me enough tranquilizers to knock out a Krogan for a week." She laughed. "I woke up three days later. Scared the shit out of them."

"Why did they have you under so heavily?"

"They... weren't super happy with me."

"Ah. Seems a lot of people end up not happy with you."

"Yeah. Wonder why." She grinned at him. "But I've also got quite the fan club. Well. One fan. With a shrine."

"No. Not that Conrad guy again."

"Oh yes."

"A shrine? Really?"

"Apparently he says its very tasteful. Just a poster, and some candles."

They both dissolved into laughter, letting the absurdity of Conrad Verner sink in. __Its good to see her laughing, actually being happy.___ Its amazing what a full night of sleep will do. ___I haven't seen her this happy since shore leave.___  
><em>"I love you like this." He leaned over her, kissing her gently on the forehead. "When you're not Commander, and I'm not Major. When I'm just me, and you're well, you."

She rolled her eyes at his lame attempt at a joke.

"I never should have told you about that."

"Why not? One day, we're going to muster out, and its going to be weird if you're just 'Shepard'." He leaned back, taking a moment to ponder things. "I mean, what if we actually got married? Would you stay just... 'Shepard?' Would you make it your first name? Or do you want to become a whole new person? Keep the 'Yu' that Staff Sargent gave you when you enlisted, and take my last name?"

"Yu Alenko?" He watched the thought cross her face. "That doesn't actually sound too bad."

"Hey, are you knocking my last name?"

"No... I've just... not had a name for so long. I mean.. Shepard isn't even really a name. It was given to me as a title, a job. Like Commander. Yu Alenko... she's a person."

"A person you might want to be one day?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe. No one knows who she is. No one is going to ask her to put her life on the line for the sake of the galaxy, or fly halfway across the galaxy to retrieve some stupid artifact." She looked thoughtful. "It might be nice to be her."

"Well, we'll keep her secret, and locked away for now. When the war is over, we'll think about letting her loose on the galaxy." Groaning, he pulled himself to a sitting position. "But now, I need to head down and take a shower. We have to make ourselves presentable for the Admiralty Board."

Shepard laughed, pointing to the upper level.

"One of the perks of dating the Commanding Officer. I have my own shower. Go get cleaned up."

Kaidan kissed her warmly, and climbed out of the bed.

"I think I'm going to like being all domestic with you up here."

Shepard laughed, stretching her arms again.

"Yeah. Can you imagine if we had tried to pull this off during peacetime?" She got to her knees, and mocked standing at attention. "So, Admiral Hackett, the Major and I are going to be shacking up for the duration of this tour. Any mission briefings will have to be suspended during the downtime hours, as we will be unavailable for obvious reasons." She ripped off a textbook perfect salute, and grinned wickedly. _Goddamn she's adorable. She's a battle-hardened marine, back from the dead. How is she so fucking adorable?_ Kaidan saluted back.

"Commander, I feel I'm going to have to report you for insubordination, and abandoning your position."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him curiously.

"What position?"

"This one." He pushed her back on the bed. _The shower can wait._

Twenty minutes later, Kaidan finally made his way towards the shower.

"I walked right into that, didn't I?" Shepard asked, pulling the sheets up around herself.

"Yeah, you kinda did." Kaidan laughed. She threw his pants at him.

"Hurry up with the shower. You're not the one who has to talk with the Admiralty Board. They're pretty big on cleanliness." She absently flicked a stray piece of hair into place. Kaidan nodded, and let the door close behind him.

The shower was wonderful. In the military, you quickly learned not to be shy and to take quick showers without looking around, so to have a whole private room to himself was a fantastic luxury. After getting clean, he opened the small cabinet to grab a towel, and started laughing. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he opened the door and called out to Shepard.

"How long did you think we were going to be out here?"

She jogged up the stairs to see what he was pointing at, and her face went bright red. In her cabinet were twenty large bottles of vanilla scented shampoo, twenty bottles of body wash and ten bottles of red nail polish.

"Wasn't sure." She muttered, looking down at her bright red toenails. "Wanted to stock up last time we were on the Citadel."

"Did you buy out the store?"

"Maybe. Now get out. It's my turn."

Still laughing, he stepped aside, letting her scowl mockingly as she shut the door in his face.

A few hours and a large meal later, they docked with the Quarian Envoy Ship. Kaidan sat in the crew lounge with Garrus while Shepard met with the board. He watched his friend pace nervously in front of the window.

"Calm down, Garrus. We'll find out what's going on in a few minutes."

"Sorry." The Turian sat down in a large chair. "I just don't like being out of the loop."

"I know the feeling."

"Major, Shepard needs you at the airlock. You will be accompanying her and Admiral Tali to a Geth dreadnought." EDI called out through the ship's speakers.

"Admiral Tali?"

"Why is everyone getting promoted but me?" Garrus wondered out loud, but his face lit up at the mention of Tali. "I'll, um, walk up with you to the airlock. See what's going on."

"Right, but I have to go get my armor on first. Do you want to meet me up there?"

"Nah, I'll go with you."

Kaidan shook his head as they left the lounge.

When they reached the bridge, Shepard and Tali were already at the airlock. Kaidan was glad to see the young Quarian, as they hadn't had any contact since before the destruction of the SR1.

"Kaidan!" She called out, taking his hand firmly. "It's been too long!"

"It has! We'll have to catch up once we get back from where ever it is we're going."

"Of course!" She tilted her head, spotting Garrus lurking awkwardly behind Kaidan. "Garrus? I didn't know you were on board too!"

"Yeah, been here for a while now." He said, twitching like he didn't quite know what to do with his hands. At first it looked like he was going to hug her, then he pulled back, and ended up shaking her hand vigorously. Kaidan looked at Shepard and raised his eyebrows knowingly. Shepard put her hand on her face.

"I'm glad you got off Palaven okay." Tali said, gently pulling her hand back.

"Thanks." Garrus said, shifting his weight nervously. "Its good to have you back. Maybe with another dextro aboard, they'll get better Turian food."

"As long as it's sterilized."

"Yeah. Oh, last time we were on the Citadel, Dr. Michel did get me some dextro-amino chocolate. You're welcome to it, once you get back."

"She got you Turian chocolate?" Tali almost sounded jealous. _Is that because he has chocolate, or of who gave it to him? Does she like him as well? _Kaidan shook his head. _I swear this ship is turning into a middle school. _

"She said she saw it, and thought of me. Why?"

"Oh... nothing." Tali turned back to Shepard. _This would be so much easier if I could see her face._ "So, the Geth Dreadnought."

"Oh. Right." Shepard looked at Kaidan. "It seems like the Reapers are sending a signal from this ship that's controlling all the Geth surrounding the Quarian home planet of Rannoch. The Normandy's stealth drive is going to get us in undetected, then we are going to board the ship, and disable the Reaper command signal. That should give the Migrant Fleet enough time to retreat to a relay. You got all that?" Kaidan nodded, and they secured their helmets. "Right. Joker, let's do this!"

The pilot turned around and gave her a nod.

"We're approaching the Quarian home system. ETA to Rannoch, five minutes."

"What've you got from the comm buoys?"

Joker threw his hands up with disgust.

"Pretty much a big ol' shitstorm, Commander." Kaidan shook his head. _Ah, the casualty of wartime._ EDI turned her head to look back at the squad.

"I have detected several hundred unique ship signatures engaged in active combat." Rubbing his temples, Joker sighed.

"Yeah. Like I said."

"Take us in, Joker." Shepard patted him softly on the shoulder.

"Stealth drive engaged. Only way they'll detect us is if you all start singing the Russian national anthem."

Shepard snorted, and they hit the relay.

"Holy shit." Kaidan said, gaping out the window. They sky was full of ships in combat, debris everywhere.

"My cyberwarfare suite has accessed their docking protocols." EDI said calmly, staring at her console. Joker nodded, expertly piloting the Normandy through the chaos and towards the largest Geth ship.

"All right." Shepard said, motioning Tali and Kaidan over. "Once we're aboard, we find whatever's broadcasting the Reaper signal and shut it down." They stepped into the airlock, letting it seal behind them. "Tali's our expert on Geth software. She'll be handing hacking and security."

"Good to have you around again, Tali!" Kaidan said, happy that he wouldn't have to deal with the tech. As competent as he was with hacking, the Geth technology still tripped him up.

"You too, Kaidan! How's the omni tool? Still using the Logic Arrest?" Kaidan laughed.

"It's still the best model."

"Not for running multiple attack processes simultaneously. You need a Nexus." She held her own omnitool up, the soft orange glow reflecting off her helmet.

"Nexus shield enhancements are years behind the curve!"

"That's why you overclock the micro frame!"

EDI's voice came over the comms, interrupting the debate.

"Shepard, there is a problem. All tubes except one are physically secured."

"I see the free one." Joker added. "Pretty torn up though."

"Too risky for the whole team. I'll secure the docking area. Everyone else can follow me over."

"Roger that, Commander." Joker rested the Normandy against the dreadnought with a gentle thump. "We'll just stay here. You know, quietly."

The airlock door opened, and Tali rushed over to open the tube doors. As they waited Kaidan turned to look down at Shepard. Resting his forehead against her's, he gazed down into her eyes.

"Be careful, okay?" She nodded, blinking up at him.

The doors opened, and they stared down the long tube. It was riddled with holes, exposing sections to open space. Kaidan heard Shepard breath in deeply, then she turned away from him to face the dreadnought.

"Hang tight, it'll just be a minute." She stepped out, the tube moving ominously. She looked back at him, gave him a tentative thumbs up, and slowly started moving away. After a few feet, she reached the first of the major holes. She learned forward, looked out into space at the raging battle and whistled under her breath.

"No wonder the Quarian's were having trouble. That ship is enormous."

"It is thirty percent larger than an Alliance dreadnought." EDI added, helpfully.

"Hmmm..." Her voice buzzed over his comms. "This is going to be weird." She reached down, checked something on her boots, then slowly started walking up the round wall. Kaidan turned to look away, seeing her standing at a ninety degree angle somehow made him feel nauseous.  
>Tali looked over and tapped Kaidan on the arm.<p>

"You do know we are going to have to follow her, right?"

"Yeah. I'll just be happier when we are all over there."

"Hey, Tali?" Shepard called. "You're going to like the view!" She was upside down now, looking out towards Rannoch.

"Better than a vid?"

"Much!"

She shook her head slowly, holding her helmet with her hands.

"How are you doing, Shepard?" Tali called out, the glow of her eyes wide under her helmet.

"Um... The lack of gravity is a little disorienting." Shepard responded and Kaidan forced himself to look. She had made it past the first hole, and was standing on what Kaidan thought of as the ceiling.

"The dreadnought has artificial gravity. You should be okay once you're onboard." Shepard sighed.

"Till then, I'll make do with mag boots." She pressed on, stepping over the smaller gaps gingerly.

"You should take your time, Commander." Joker's voice sounded impatient as it crackled over the comms. "You're fine until they, you know, look out a window." Shepard laughed.

"Geth don't use windows, remember? Structural weakness."

"Like the Geth are just sitting there saying, 'Those organics would never try the no windows thing twice!' "

"Just hang steady... Oh crap!"

Shepard pitched forward as the tube cracked in half and Kaidan held his breath as she grabbed onto the side still connected to the dreadnought. He watched helplessly as the part linking her to the Normandy, and to him, drifted off to join the collection of other debris on the battlefield. She pulled herself to safety, and Kaidan exhaled.

"Well... shit." He heard her say, breathing heavily. "Look like the rest of the team isn't using the docking tube."

"So I'm guessing you'd rather not solo the dreadnought." Joker sighed.

"Not if I can help it." There was a pause, and Kaidan felt the Normandy start to move. "Tali, can you get on the dreadnought schematics? If you can point me at another docking tube, I'll override the controls and let you on."

"On it!" Tali brought up the information on her omnitool, and started scanning it frantically. Kaidan looked out at Shepard, and raised his hand to her.

"We'll be there soon, Shepard."

"I'll be here." She raised her hand back, then the airlock door slammed shut, cutting her off from sight.

"You guys just stay put in there." Joker said, groaning with irritation. "I don't want to have to re-pressurize the airlock."

"We're obviously not going anywhere, Joker." Tali replied, folding her arms across her chest. "There should be another tube about a hundred yards back. Can you take us there?"

"Back up a few hundred feet? I think I can manage it, Tali."

Kaidan imagined her rolling her eyes as she leaned against the wall, and stared at him. "So... how are things?"

"Things are good, considering the circumstances. I thought I felt a migraine coming on today, but I should be fine. I have some medication upstairs."

"Upstairs?" Tali tilted her head and her eyes narrowed. "Did they add more officer's quarters during the retrofit?"

"What? Um... No..."

"Ha!" She cried triumphantly. "I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"That you and Shepard would get back together! How long did she hold out on you? She told Garrus and I that she-"

"Tali, You do know that I can still hear you, right?" Just from the tone of her voice, Kaidan knew Shepard was rolling her eyes. "Just so you know, I'm inside, and I've got gravity again."

"Good, There should be a hull breach not far from your position. The nearest undamaged docking tube is on the other side."

"Yeah, I think I found that hull breach you mentioned."

Tali put her hand on her face and shook her head.  
>"Admiral Gerrel tried a frontal assault. We lost six frigates. That tiny hole was the only damage we did."<p>

"Um. I wouldn't call it tiny. Not the way you'd have done it?"

"No. he was too aggressive." Tali starting pacing in their confined space. "I argued, but as admiral of the Heavy Fleet, it was ultimately his decision."

"What about the other admirals?" Shepard made a small grunting noise, as if she was climbing over something. _I like that she's talking. Let's me know she's okay over there. _

"Xen backed the invasion, largely as a chance to test her toys. Raan gave provisional support. Only Koris opposed the war with me. And he was right." Tali stopped pacing, and leaned back against the wall. "We could lose the whole fleet, Shepard."

"We'll get your people out of here safely." Shepard was using her reassuring tone, but Kaidan wished he could see her face. "Okay, this looks tricky. Hang on a bit, I'll be right back."

"Hey, Shepard, leave your comm line open, okay?" _I just have to know she's alright._

"If it makes you feel better." She said, giving a small laugh. He leaned against the wall, listened to her breathe, the sound comforting in his ears. _I wish I was there with her. I hate this. _A loud crashing noise jolted him alert, and he called out to Shepard.

"Is everything okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine, Kaidan. The ship's taken a lot of damage, and things are collapsing. I just have to... jump this gap..." She grunted. "Right. I've found another airlock. I think we're good to go."

"Great." Tali said, opening the Normandy's airlock, looking down the docking tube. "If you override the controls, we'll be right there." She nodded at Kaidan. "Let's go, but carefully."

Slowly, they made their way down the tube, following Shepard's method of climbing up the walls to avoid the large gaps. Reaching the end, Kaidan paced nervously outside the dreadnought's airlock.

"Got it. You're clear to board!" The doors slid open, and they rushed in. Kaidan looked frantically for Shepard, finding her on a raise platform several yards away.

"You okay, Commander?" She climbed down the ladder to greet them.

"Better now." She was so close he could see her eyes wrinkle with a smile. He bumped her forehead with his.

"Let's not do that again."

Tali coughed.

"Here. Let me see if I can get that open." She passed by them, studying a large door with her omni tool. "There, it's open. We're clear to go."

"So where are we headed?" Shepard asked, dropping her voice.

"We're looking for an operations center. I can disable the Reaper command signal from there."

"Where's the closest one?" Tali checked the schematics on her omni tool.

"Past their defense network and through a sensor cluster." She shook her head. "Gah, vents. Always the vents."

"You did fine at the Collector base." Shepard patted her on the arm.

"I got set on fire!" Tali said indignantly. _Okay, maybe I'm a little glad I didn't go on that mission._

"Just a little bit! Your suit barely got singed."

Tali snorted, and the squad fell into silence. A Geth patrol was passing, but Shepard took cover and held up her hand.

" Let's do this quietly, and try to disturb as few Geth as possible. Once one knows we're here, they all will."

They waited until the patrol passed, then snuck into the next room. Shepard and Tali brought up a console, and studied the screen.

"Look, the signal's hitting all Geth processes. The Reapers have them completely under control."

"This code is incredibly complicated. No wonder we haven't been able to disrupt it."

Kaidan stepped over to another console, and did his best to interpret what he saw.

"Hey, Tali. We may be able to extract combat data from these sensor panels." The Quarian came up behind him and glanced over his shoulder.

"This will come in handy. We're taking heavy losses. The Geth have a planetary defense cannon, and its ripping through our fleet."

"Is there anything we can do to help them?" Shepard asked softly.

"Just make their sacrifice worthwhile."

Shepard awkwardly punched some buttons on the nearest panel. _I wish she wouldn't do that. Things tend to blow up when she hits buttons. _"Why do we need to find the operations center? Wouldn't any access console do?"

Tali shook her head. "Not likely. Consoles like this are accessing programs being used by hundreds of Geth simultaneously." She sighed, and checked the schematics again. "They are all networked cooperatively. To disable the Reaper signal from here, you would need to override all the Geth." She hesitated outside a large door. "The dreadnought's operation center is just ahead."

"Good. Let's cut the Reaper signal and get the fleet out of here." Shepard pried the door open, to the alarm of several Geth on the other side. "Oh damn." Kaidan and Tali sent out tech bursts at the same time, frying the nearest few Geth.

"Get to cover!" Shepard yelled, darting into the room, as they followed her, the door slammed shut behind them, locking with a hiss. "There shouldn't be many more!"

They made short work of the Geth, and when the last of them had been disabled, Kaidan stood up with a sigh.

"Well, I guess they know we're here-" He was interrupted by all of the air leaving his lungs. A large Geth had appeared out of thin air and hit him squarely in the chest, knocking him to the floor. _Oh god not again..._

"Kaidan!" Shepard barreled towards him, taking down the Geth in a hail of bullets.

"Hunters!" Tali cried, scanning the room carefully. "Okay, we're clear!"

"Oh god, are you alright?" Shepard threw her gun down as she knelt next to him. She grabbed his helmet, and stared in at him, her eyes wide with panic.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just knocked the wind out of me." He wheezed.

"I'm sorry, I forgot about the damn hunters!"

"Yeah, since when can Geth cloak?" She looked at him guiltily through her helmet as she helped him to his feet.

"I probably should have mentioned that earlier."

"Yeah. Probably should have."

"Let's see if that console is operational." Shaking her head slowly, she grabbed her rifle, then jogged over to the large control panel. "Dammit. They've locked down the Reaper signal. We can't shut it down from here in the operation center."

Tali entered a few commands on the console, bringing up a large map of the ship. She studied it carefully before highlighting a large section.

"There! The Reaper signal's coming from the drive core!"

"So if we get there, we shut it down?"

"Right, but how do we get there? The Geth have sealed emergency bulkheads to block us off. We need a route to the drive core that can't be blocked. A path that runs the length of the ship." The squad circled the large map, carefully checking for anything that would help them. After a few moments, Shepard ran her finger across the middle of the ship.

"What about the main battery? It runs right by the drive core."

Tali cocked her head to the side.

"That could work."

"But?"

Tali waved her hands at the door they had come through. It was sealed tight, resisting her attempts to override it.

"But the Geth still have us locked in here. We need to get these doors open. They've locked high level processes. We need something basic... a ship wide emergency. Like a fire." _Oh please tell me we're not going to set the ship on fire._

"What about the heat diffusion system?" Shepard brought up another panel.

"Wait... if I faked a thermal warning, it would open all maintenance tubes for emergency venting!"

"Would that override the lockdown?"

"Yes!" Tali quickly entered something on the exposed panel, and looked up. "Okay, I've got it primed. But be ready. I'm reading hostile Geth on the other side of the doors."

Kaidan sighed,and felt his ribs ache slightly. _Damn._

"Why wouldn't there be?"

Tali executed the command, and the doors sprang open. Several Geth rushed in, and Kaidan caught the faint shimmer of a cloaked hunter. He overloaded that one first, forcing it to drop its shielding. _I am not letting you get close to me again. _Tali sent out her combat drone, which picked off another hunter, while Shepard mowed through the remaining troopers.

Calling her drone back, Tali ran to the doors on the far side of the room.

"Let's get to the maintenance shaft before more reinforcements arrive." Shepard nodded and followed, Kaidan on her heels.

"All that time we spent fighting the Geth years ago..." He mutter to himself. "I thought we took care of them at the Citadel." Shepard turned back to face him as Tali opened another door.

"Those Geth were being controlled by an error in their programming. This is different."

"What?"

"I'll explain when we get back to the Normandy. It's a long story."

As the door opened, Tali examined everything with a fierce curiosity.

"This ship is almost Quarian, but not quite. It's meant for synthetics, not organics."

"The contours are all wrong." Shepard agreed, shaking her head. "Shouldn't be much farther to the main battery."The conversation dropped off as they made their way down a long series of ladders.

Coming to a landing, Shepard cocked her head, like something was bothering her.

"I'm surprised they'd send you on this mission, Tali."

"Even Admirals are expected to serve. I'm better at hacking then I am at ordering ships around-" The Quarian froze and stared at her omnitool. "Dammit! Priority message. A planetary defense cannon just took down Admiral Koris's ship."

"Survivors?" Shepard asked tentatively, Tali nodded.

"They got to escape pods, and I've got Admiral Raan trying to establish a secure link."

"Put her through."

The voice of the Quarian Admiral echoed in Kaidan's helmet. her voice had the same mechanical purr as Tali's, but lacked the warmth.

"Shepard, this is Raan. The heavy fleet is collapsing. I don't know how much longer we can hold out."

"We'll have the Reaper signal deactivated shortly, Admiral." The Admiral sounded like she was going to respond, but the transmission cut out, leaving only the sound of Shepard and Tali's breathing. "Don't worry, Tali. We'll get it done in time."

"I hope so." She sighed. "Okay, the main battery should be through here."' She overloaded the door controls, letting them slide open.

"This doesn't look too bad..." Shepard walked out onto the landing, and stuck her head around the corner. "It goes on for a long ways, so we shouldn't have a problem-" She was interrupted by a loud roar that shook the floor. "What... oh hell!" She jumped backwards as a giant wave of lightning rolled down the corridor. "Watch the shock waves! That's a big gun!"

"What's the plan, Shepard?"

She hesitated, waiting for the next shock wave before looking around the corner again.

"Okay. Once the next wave goes by, we run like hell. There are enough places for us to take cover, so as soon as you hear that roar, get behind something. Tali, keep an eye on the schematics, so we know when to get out of the giant lightning deathtrap hallway. Okay... go!"

They took off like a shot, getting as far down as they could before the first wave hit. Even though he was behind cover, Kaidan felt it mess with his sensors as it rolled past them. Five minutes and twenty waves later, Tali called out that they had reached their destination.

"Okay..." Shepard looked around the small platform. "How to we get out of here?"

"I can overload the main gun, and then we can get out through that maintenance shaft..." Tali said with a shiver. __She really doesn't want to go back into the vents.__

"Hang on." Shepard turned to face her. "You can overload the main gun? Why didn't we just do that in the first place?"

"Well, it just puts a temporary maintenance lock on it. It will only last for about forty five seconds."

"Great. Do it, and we'll make a run for it." Tali nodded, and went to work on a small console.

"The main gun is offline." A small hatch next to the console opened, revealing a small tunnel. Shepard stepped in cautiously.

"We're safe as long as the maintenance lock is in place. Let's move." As Kaidan and Tali followed her, the floor shifted ominously.

"Shepard! The lock!" Kaidan yelled as they took off running. Shepard reached the exit hatch and pushed Tali through.

"Come on! Let's get out of here!" She grabbed Kaidan by the arm, forcing him ahead of her, then threw herself through the closing hatch.

"Okay?" Kaidan asked, helping her to her feet.

"Fine." She groaned, leaning against the wall to catch her breath. "This place is just a festival of things I never want to do again."

They followed a small hall to an open room, and Tali sighed.

"This elevator should be the last thing between us and the drive core."

"Great. You guys keep watch for any more Geth, I'll get the controls." Shepard made her way to the center of the platform, using her omnitool to start up the lift.  
>The trip up was uneventful, until Kaidan noticed a solitary Geth with a rocket launcher a few levels below them.<br>_Shit, there's a pillar in my way! I can't get a clear sight on it!_

"Tali!" He called out, pointing frantically. "Get it!"

She nodded, and sent off an overload pulse to disable the synthetic,, but it was too late, a rocket had already been fired. He and Tali managed to leap off before the lift dropped several feet, knocking Shepard to her knees.

"Shepard!" Tali cried, sending a last overload at the reloading Geth. __She can't make that jump, she's too far down.__ Kaidan dropped to his stomach and moved himself towards the edge of the walkway.

"Grab my hand!"

Shepard nodded and ran towards him, jumping as the platform gave way beneath her. Her chest slammed into the edge, and he grabbed her under her arms, pulling her up towards him.

"I'm all right. I'm all right I'mallrightI'mallright." She collapsed against him, inhaling deeply. "Oh... that was not good. Let's not do that again."

"No. Let's not." They got to their feet, Tali reaching over to grab Shepard's arm. The Commander nodded at her, and Tali let go with a sigh.

"Good. Hopefully we're done with elevators." She scanned the door in front of them. "Come on. The drive core shouldn't be far."

The door took them through a long hallway, and then finally deposited them in the dreadnought drive core.

"Wow." Shepard said, staring up at the center of the room. Kaidan felt his jaw drop as he stopped behind her.

"What is that?" The center of the room was filled with a large glowing pod. The eerie green glow reflected off Shepard's helmet as she pulled up a control panel.

"That's definitely Reaper tech, But what's..." She stepped back, bumping into Kaidan as the pod slowly opened. A Geth trooper was locked inside, suspended by its arms. It looked up at them, small flaps moving around its single glowing eye.

"Shepard Commander. Help us." _What the hell? Geth can talk? How does it know who she is? And why does it want help?_

"Legion!" Shepard rushed forward, practically climbing up into the pod with the Geth. Kaidan grabbed her shoulder, and gently pulled her back.

"You're on a first name basis with a Geth?"

"Yes. It helped me fight the Collectors. It's on our side." She turned away from him, nodding towards the trapped Geth. _ I trust her, but_ s_omething still doesn't feel right. _

"Wait, even if that's true, all the Geth are reprogrammed."

"Legion helped us fight the Reapers before. There's no way it would have agreed to this." The Geth cocked its head and peered at Kaidan.

"Your caution is understandable. Once freed, we will submit to any restraints you deem necessary."

"I never thought I'd say this..." Tali leaned on the console, her eyes barely visible behind the glow of Legion's prison. "But...it's good to see you again."

"Likewise, Creator Zorah."

"So... what is this thing?" Shepard walked around the console, running her hand over the strange technology.

"It uses our networking architecture to broadcast the Old Machine's command signal to all Geth simultaneously."

"Then getting you out of there will shut off the Reaper signal!"

"Wait. You cannot simply remove the restraints. We are secured via hardware blocks nearby that shackle our operating protocols. The hardware blocks are on the far side of the room."

Shepard jogged around to a nearby ladder, and started her way up to the second level.

"Far side of the room, you said?"

"Yes. Deactivation should be simple. The Geth protected them against viral attack, not physical removal." Shepard paused at the top of the ladder, and faced the trapped Geth.

"Legion, how'd the Reapers get control of the Geth?"

"They did not." The voice was emotionless, but the synthetic itself hung its head. "The creators attacked. The Geth wished to live. The Old Machines extended an offer." Kaidan felt a shiver run down his spine. _The Geth are cooperating with the Reapers? That can't be good. But, they want to live? How self aware are they?  
><em>

"So we went to that Geth station and rewrote the heretics for what? Nothing?" Anger rose in Shepard's voice as she stared at the Geth. "Legion..."

"No. You successfully rewrote the heretics. The decision to ally with the Old Machines was difficult. Had the creators not attacked, it would have been unnecessary."

"Oh, Keelah." Tali put her mask in her hands. "This whole thing could have been avoided. My people..." Shepard put her arm around the Quarian and pulled her close.

"It's going to be okay, Tali. We're going to fix this." She whispered. Tali nodded, and went to work on the console. "We'll have you out of there soon, Legion."

"Got it." Tali said, and used her omnitool to bring up another frequency. "Tali'Zorah to fleet. The signal is about to go offline."

"This is Admiral Han'Gerrel." The response came back swiftly. "We're in your debt."

A flash of light from the middle of the room brought their attention back to the trapped Geth.

"Hardware blocks offline. We are free." Its arms free, the Geth called Legion dropped to the ground, and approached them. "As a gesture of cooperation, we have disabled the dreadnought's drive core. All weapons and barriers are offline."

"Right! Lets get off this ship!" Shepard started to follow Legion down a small pathway, when Quarian chatter started up over the comms.

"The Geth fleet is destabilized! The signal is offline!" The relief of the female Admiral was evident in her voice, even through the mechanical filters.

"Civilian Fleet, prepare to withdraw!" Another voice barked. "The Patrol Fleet with cover you once the Heavy Fleet is in position!"

"Whenever you're ready, Admiral Gerrel."

"That should give the Quarian's a chance!" Kaidan said, patting Tali on the shoulder as they jogged through the ship. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Wait, Admiral Gerrel, what are you doing?" The frantic cry came over the comms, apparently startling Tali so much she came to a crashing halt.

"Raan, check your screens! The dreadnought is helpless! No barriers, and the main gun is offline. We can remove their flagship if we strike now!"

"Damn it, this is our chance to withdraw the Civilian Fleet safely!"

"Oh, no." Kaidan heard himself whisper.

"What are you talking about?" Tali yelled into the comms. "We're still on board!"

"We can't waste this chance." Gerrel called back. "Heavy Fleet, all forward. Take out the dreadnought!"

"Patrol Fleet, hold position!" Raan argued.

"You do that, and the Heavy Fleet get's wiped out! And if we die, a simple retreat won't save you from the Geth response."

"Damn you, Gerrel!"

Tali unsuccessfully tried to tap into the frequency, whipping through menus on her omnitool frantically.

"Damn it, what are they doing?"

"Focus on getting out of here! We'll worry about the Admirals later!" Shepard grabbed her arm, and they took off running again.

"Patrol Fleet, flanking support on the Heavy Fleet. Give them a firing lane."

"All ships, open fire!"

"Shepard-Commander, the creator fleet is firing upon this vessel."

An explosion rocked the ship, sending the squad crashing to the ground.

"Without barriers, this ship will be destroyed. We must evacuate."

"Get up, get up, we've gotta move!" Shepard pulled Tali up by the arm, looking back at Kaidan. "We need to get to the escape pods!"

"Geth transmit intelligences via remote signal. We do not use escape pods."

"Suggestions?" Shepard yelled in frustration.

"Geth fighters are docked in the port side fighter bay. We can pilot a fighter to safety."

"Just get us there, Legion! The ship is falling apart!" Tali cried out, dodging a pillar as it collapsed. Nodding, the Geth outpaced them, disappearing through a set of doors ahead of them. Several small explosions sent sparks raining down on the squad.

"Shepard to fleet! Hold fire! I repeat, hold fire!" There was a desperation in her voice that chilled Kaidan to his soul. _She actually thinks we might die here. _

"They're not responding!"

"Damn it!"

"Shepard Commander, we have taken control of docking protocols." Legion's mechanical voice echoed in Kaidan's helmet. _I really hope we can trust this Geth. _

"We'll be right there!"

They followed Legion through two sets of doors, and Kaidan skidded to a halt, where a large section of the walkway before them was missing. Shepard grunted as she leaped for the other side, but as she landed, it collapsed, sending her crashing down to the lower level.

"Shepard! Shit! Are you okay?" He called down to her, helplessly watching her struggle to her feet.

"Fine!" She looked back up at him. "You need to either get across that somehow, or get down here..."

"I can lower Tali, then slide down. Hang on!" He turned to Tali, and held out his hand. "Ready?"

She grasped him tightly with a nod, and he lowered her down, letting her drop the last few feet. Once she was out of the way, he grabbed walkway and slowly eased himself over the edge. _Just like doing a pull up, hold yourself together._ Once he was on the same level as Shepard, she nodded at him before they started their way back up to Legion. Another explosion nearly knocked them over again.

"This ship's getting ripped apart!" He called out, trying to urge everyone to move faster.

"Shepard Commander, we can only launch from the upper level."

"Let's go!" Tali screamed, as an explosion tore through the hull. "We're losing the environmental fields!"

"Double time, people!" Shepard yelled as their mag boots kicked in. "We're gonna make it!"

A large tank behind them blew, sending Kaidan to his knees.

"Shepard!" He heard Tali cry in alarm, and looked up too late. The explosion had knocked her off the walkway, sending her drifting past them towards open space. Before he could even get to his feet, Legion walked over and plucked her out of the air, pulling her into the Geth fighter.

"Ready?" Shepard asked him, her eyes determined behind her visor. Kaidan nodded, and she grabbed his hand, pushing off hard from the walkway. They floated towards the waiting fighter, Kaidan gripping her hand tighter than he had ever held anything. _We miss this, and we'll end up spaced. But at least I'll be with her this time. _Thankfully, Shepard grabbed the edge of the fighter, and swung him towards it. Crawling in, Kaidan tried to make room for himself in the back of the fighter. _Okay, obviously these things were not meant to carry passengers._ Tali had already wedged herself behind Legion, trying to make herself as small as possible.

"Normandy to Shepard, I'm reading a loss of gravity. You okay over there?"

"Fine. We're leaving in a Geth fighter. Transmitting rendezvous coordinates!" She dropped in after him, and looked around quickly.

"Does the storage compartment have adequate room, Shepard-Commander?" Legion asked, the flaps on his head twitching curiously. She shut the hatch above her, and Kaidan pulled her down onto his lap.

"We're fine." She called up to the Geth. "Go!"

The fighter shot out of the ship, Legion piloting it expertly around the debris of the battlefield. Shepard looked down at him, and laughed with relief.

"We cut that one a bit close, didn't we?"

"Just a little bit. Too many close calls, Shepard."

"Yeah... When that hunter hit you... I thought of Mars..." Her voice trailed off as they both remembered the brutality that had nearly killed him.

"Me too. My poor ribs are really taking a beating."

"When we get back to the Normandy, go have Chakwas check them out. Make sure you didn't re-bruise anything."

"Will do, Commander."

_It isn't so bad, holding her like this. Part of me wants this Geth to take the scenic route back to the Normandy. _

"Just waggle the wings or something so I know which one is you." Joker called out as they sped away from the exploding dreadnought. Kaidan felt Shepard relax in his arms, the tension of the mission melting away as she curled against him. He pulled her in closer, letting his head rest on her shoulder with a sigh.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Just... enjoying the moment. When we get back to the Normandy, you're going to have to meet with the Admirals."

"Yeah. That's going to be a fun discussion."

"Just... don't punch anyone, okay?"

"Fine." She butted her head against him. "If it will make you feel better."

"Shepard, remember that I can hear you too." Tali said with a laugh.

"Sorry, Tali."

"And yes, please don't hit the Admiral. You might puncture his suit."

"I will do my best to contain my temper, okay? Besides. I have to check in with Hackett first." She groaned, shifting her weight. "But I'm not going to make any promises." In the silence of the fighter, she fiddled with her omnitool for a few moments before speaking again. "How's this, Tali?"

The Quarian made no response, nor any motion that indicated she had heard anything at all.

"Much better." Shepard said with a laugh. "I should have figured out how to block a frequency sooner. Gives us a few minutes of peace before we get back to the Normandy, at least."

Kaidan shut his eyes as he pulled her in tighter. _If only this quiet moment would last forever. I nearly lost her so many times back there. I can't protect her, even when I'm with her. How are we going to get through this war?_

"Kaidan, you're breathing really hard. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Ribs a bit sore... and I'm just... worried."

"Aww... And just when you were getting the hang of being a supportive shoulder. Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay. We're gonna get through this. I can feel it."

_I can't see her face... but I'm pretty sure she's lying. _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kaidan groaned, pulling a pillow over his head. After returning from the Geth dreadnought, the migraine that had been threatening all day had finally arrived. It wasn't as crippling as past ones had been, but it was enough to make him retreat to bed as Shepard and the rest of the squad had gone to meet with the Quarian Admirals. In the Commander's quarters the gentle hum of the fish tank was soothing, the dim lights calming. The pillow smelled like Shepard, giving him a small reason to smile. __I definitely like this better than being in the med bay. Maybe this migraine will go away faster than normal.__ Focusing on his breathing, he didn't notice the door hiss opened, and only the pressure next to him on the bed alerted him to Shepard's presence. She gently lifted the pillow up to peer down at him with concern.

"How's your head?"

"I've had worse."

"I bet. Chakwas sent up some tranquilizers for you." She held up a small syringe. "Want me too...?"

"Yeah." He turned his head to the side, and let her gently inject the medication. Immediately, he felt the tension in his head release a bit, and he smiled at her. "Thanks."

"Anytime." She lay down and curled into him, resting her hand on his chest.

"How'd the meeting go?"

"As well as expected." Her tone implied there was more to the story, and Kaidan sighed. Grabbing her hand, he lifted it up to examine the spreading bruises on her knuckles.

"You didn't." She pulled her hand back guiltily. "Shepard, you promised."

"I did no such thing." She replied indignantly. "I said I would try. Kaidan, he nearly killed us! He's lucky I only punched him. I should had made a hole in his suit."

"Ah. There's the vindictive street urchin I knew was lurking in your head." He ruffled her hair. The drugs were definitely kicking in now. Chakwas always stocked the tranquilizers that knocked him out of his senses. Shepard made a face at him, before sitting up with a sigh. "So, where are we off to now, Commander?"

"I'm heading down to the planet to rescue Admiral Koris with Tali and Garrus. You are staying in bed."

"What? You can't leave me here! You need my help!"

"Kaidan, you can't even sit up right now."

Trying to prove her wrong, he pulled himself up, only to crash back down as a blinding flash of pain rocketed through his head. Gasping, he pulled the pillow back over his face as small explosions flashed in his eyes.

"Fine. I'll stay here." He groped around the bed, searching blindly for her hand. Finding it, he pulled it towards him, cradling it against his chest. "Just... be careful. I know you worked with that Geth... Legion... but they still make me nervous. They just keep coming like... well..."

"Machines?" Shepard laughed softly, and squeezed his hand. Lifting the pillow slightly with his other hand, he looked at her with squinted eyes.

"Where you around when the Alliance claimed we'd wiped out the last major Geth outposts?" She shook her head.

"Nah, that must have been while I was still out." He squeezed her hand back, at the mention of her time spent 'dead'. "But, yeah, intel was always a little underfunded." Leaning down carefully, she kissed him on the cheek before lowering the pillow back down over his eyes. "I'll be back before you know it. Just rest."

She tried to stand up, but Kaidan kept her hand clenched tightly.

"Promise me you'll be back."

"Kaidan..."

"Promise me."

"I promise. I'll be back soon." Reluctantly, he let go of her hand, drifting into sleep before she even left the room.

Several hours later, he awoke to a mere buzzing in his head, and sat up in mild shock.__Wow, Chakwas either upped my dosage, or she got some new meds.__Crawling out of bed, he made his way down to the med bay to thank her. To his surprise, the elevator stopped at the CIC, not the crew deck.  
>Samantha Traynor, the civilian analyst turned yeoman glanced back to smile at him.<p>

"Ah, Major! I'm glad EDI stopped you! We're receiving a call from Alliance command."

"Oh. I guess I should get it since Shepard isn't back?"

"Actually, they're asking for you."

Startled, he made his way to the communications office in the war room. As he hit the blinking call button, the frazzled voice of a comm officer filled the room.

"Major Alenko?"

"I'm here. What's going on?"

"Oh thank goodness. We received a transmission a few minutes ago, meant for you. Shall I connect you?"

"Go ahead."

The call disconnected, and the video screen before him flickered into life.

"Shit! It is the Major!" A familiar voice called out. The excited face before him was immediately knocked aside by several others. Kaidan put his hand on his face.

"Privates! At ease!" Three of his students crammed themselves together, all trying to remain in the picture. Sighing, Kaidan threw all attempts at military protocol aside. Seeing his students alive felt like a huge weight had been lifted off him. __My kids are okay.__"Guys! Calm down! Where are you? Are you guys alright? How many of you are there?"

Colin, the dark haired boy who had become one of his best students, grinned wildly.

"We're with J-Squad outside of Chicago. Its me, Jennifer and Astra." The olive skinned girl and her redheaded friend waved excitedly. "Rico, Midge, Charlie and Megs are with L-Squad. Last time we got a hold of them, they were down in Georgia somewhere."

"But you guys are all okay? No one's hurt?"

"We're okay. Apparently, Midge got ambushed by one of those Batarian husk things, but Rico practically launched it into the next state." He sighed, giving a small laugh. "I always knew he had a thing for her."

"Sounds like you are all in good spirits. Are you somewhere safe?"

Elbowing Colin aside, Astra shook her head, red curls flying.

"Not at all. We're just excited to see you! We thought you were dead when we heard Vancouver got hit. But you're alive! And you're on the Normandy with Commander Shepard!"

"Yeah, we're doing our best to get back to you guys with reinforcements. Have you found any other survivors?"

"No, right now its just our squad and L-Squad, where ever they are now. We weren't sure there were any other survivors."

"Transmit me your coordinates, and I'll send them to Admiral Anderson. He's on Earth, leading a resistance movement. He's going to be your best chance at survival until we get there with reinforcements. Do you have contact with L-Squad?"

"No, their communicator must've gotten hit. But knowing Megs and her tech skills, I'm sure they'll be back online soon. If they're still alive..." A cloud passed across the redhead's normally cheery face. Jennifer put an arm around her friend.

"We're gonna be okay, Major." She forced a grin at him. __She smiles like Shepard when she's lying.__"This is no worse than growing up on Omega." Colin wormed his way between them, his thin face taking up most of the screen.

"Hey, Major, Sarge says we gotta go, the longer we stay connected, the better chance the Reapers have of finding us. But it's good to know you're out there, and coming back for us." They saluted awkwardly, a tangle of elbows and gangly teenage arms. Kaidan saluted back with a sad smile.

"Stay alert. Take care of each other. We'll be in touch soon." They nodded enthusiastically as the feed cut out. Kaidan sighed, and headed down to the crew deck.

"Hey EDI?" He called out while in the elevator.

"Yes, Major?"

"There should have been some coordinates transmitted from my squad. Can you make sure that get's passed to Admiral Anderson the next time he makes contact?"

"Of course."

"Thanks. And hey, I'm going to do some work in the starboard observation deck. Would you mind letting me know when Shepard get's back on board?"

"I do not mind."

"Um... okay. Thanks."

After a quick check in with Chakwas, Kaidan settled in with his datapad, trying to work out his latest expense report. He found it impossible to concentrate, reading the same sentence over and over without making any sense of it_. ___I just want Shepard back on board. It's been too long for a simple rescue mission. Something had to have gone wrong.__He threw the datapad aside, and leaned his head back. His migraine was gone, but he still felt the tension in his head. __I hate not knowing what's happening.__He closed his eyes, trying to will the tension away. Twenty long minutes passed before EDI brought him good news.

"Major, Shepard has returned to the Normandy, and is on her way up to your office."

Kaidan grinned to himself. __Shepard is back onboard,____and my kids are okay. I can relax a little. __He debated internally whether to stay seated, or to stand and greet her, but she entered the room before he could decided.

Sinking down onto the couch next to him, she swung her feet up and started pulling her boots off.

"I should bronze these." She said, holding one up and eying it critically. "First human to set foot on the Quarian homeworld." She let go, the boot dropping with a loud thump.

"One more achievement for your glorious autobiography." Kaidan said with a smile, gently slipping his arm around her shoulder. "What's next on the list? Beside saving the galaxy, obviously." Shepard sighed, settling up against him, her stockinged feet tucked up under her.

"Legion had some plan to destroy the Reaper influence over the Geth. There is something on the planet still giving off a signal, and their fighter squadrons have been giving the Quarians hell."

"Didn't we already do that?"

"Apparently there is still traces of it in their code that we have to get rid of first. I'm not sure. Legion tends to get... technical."

"I bet. Say, where did you pick him... it... up from?"

"Well, we were investigating a dead Reaper, and when we were inside it, Legion save my ass from some husks. So we brought it with us."

"Wait. You went poking around inside a dead Reaper?"

"Well, we were pretty sure it was dead. Some Cerberus scientists were studying it, and based on their video logs, it was still exhibiting some kind of mind control." Kaidan shook his head in disbelief.

"So, you willingly went into a 'probably' dead REAPER, fought some husks with a Geth, and then let him join the team?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She paused. "Oh, and then I destroyed its drive core and crashed it into a sun."

"Okay, now I think you're just making stuff up to mess with me."

She shook her head, letting her hair rustle against his shoulder.

"Could I make things up at this point? You should have come with me when I offered on Horizon."

"I should have. For a lot of reasons." They stared out the window into space for a few minutes until Shepard leaned forward to put her shoes back on.

"Well, we are here now. That's what matters." Boots on, she wriggled out of his grasp and stood up. "Let's go see what our synthetic friend has come up with in terms of a plan. I want you on this one, I might need you and Tali to work some technical magic for me."

Nodding quickly, Kaidan stood up and followed her to the lift. As the doors closed behind them, Shepard leaned against him and sighed. Kaidan tried to keep his mind from wandering, but apparently his brain would do no such thing. Images of stolen moments in the elevator of the SR1 flashed through his memory, and he felt his face get hot.__Say something. Anything. Just say something.__He cleared his throat, shaking the images from his mind.

"Good news! I've tracked down some of the people I was looking for."

Shepard looked up at him and smiled broadly.

"The recruits you taught?"

"Found J-Squad, Black Ops. They're holed up making a stand in the Midwest, Near Chicago, I think he said. Connected them with Anderson so they can help the resistance." He sighed. "Its a relief. Hope more turn up."

"They will. I'm sure you taught them well."

Tali greeted them as they stepped out onto the flight deck, and followed them to the armory.

"Shepard, why is there an angry Prothean in the cargo hold?"

"Really, Tali?" Shepard laughed as she strapped on her armor. "There's an actual Prothean on the ship, and you're more concerned with the fact that he's angry?"

"Good point."

A mechanical clicking noise distracted Kaidan's attention away from the women, Legion had appeared behind him, the flaps around his lens twitching carefully. The lights on the synthetic glowed with a serene blue, an interesting change from the red Kaidan was used to aiming at.

"Um... hello."

"Major Alenko. Second Human Spectre. A biotic with a faulty implant... 'Companion' of Shepard-Commander." It spoke the word "companion" with a different tone, slower and more deliberate.

"Companion?"

"Legion..." Shepard groaned. The Geth looked over at her and nodded.

"Major Alenko appears in the records of your first encounter with the Geth on Eden Prime as Lieutenant Alenko. Was present on the Citadel at the defeat of Saren. On board the Normandy SR1 during its destruction by the Collectors." It turned back to face Kaidan, flaps coming together as if it were narrowing its eyes at him. "Major Alenko was not present during the mission to the Collector base. Why was support not rendered to Shepard Commander? Was it not requested?"

"Legion." Shepard's voice took a warning tone. Legion backed away from Kaidan and entered the shuttle, Shepard close behind. Shaking his head, Kaidan glanced over at Tali, her shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter.

"What was that?"

"Legion once said the Geth were trying to mimic organic behaviors... I think that was its attempt at jealousy."

"Huh?"

"Are you two coming?" Shepard bellowed from the shuttle, holding onto the door frame as Cortez kicked the engine on. Tali leaned towards Kaidan as they jogged over.

"Check out its arm."

They climbed onboard, letting the door seal shut behind them. The bay doors opened, and the shuttle started is journey to the far side of the Quarian home planet. Taking a place near Shepard, Kaidan glanced over at the Geth in the corner. He hadn't had time to study it in detail as they escaped the dreadnought, and he had assumed it to be like the rest of its kind. He squinted at it. Its left arm was no different from that of any other Geth he had seen, but the right bore a familiar pattern of gray, white and red. __No way.__Looking closer, he made out the battered N7 on its chestplate. He nudged Shepard.

"Is it wearing-"

"Yuuuup."

"Why?"

"It won't tell me." She shook her head with a small smile, and braced herself against Kaidan as they hit atmosphere. He put his arm around her, and tried to ignore the jarring motions of the shuttle. __Its found her armor, after the Normandy crash. It welded it to its frame. Holy shit. Does Legion have feelings? And if it does, is it hero worship, or does it think it likes her?__He shook his head.__And it knows about us. Wow. This could get really awkward. Maybe I should talk to it later. But let's see how this mission goes.__He laughed quietly at the mental image of discussing his relationship with a Geth, and tightened his grip on Shepard. After they broke through the atmosphere, they picked up a transmission from the Quarian fleet.

"Commander, it is as we feared." The voice of Admiral Raan was strained with worry. "Geth squadrons have begun massing on a path to intercept our liveships."

"Understood, Admiral Raan. we're almost at the servers. keep us posted." She moved away from Kaidan, heading to a terminal next to the Geth. "Whats our status?"

"We remain undetected on encrypted Geth channels." It reported. "Resistance is likely only within the server." Shepard stopped, and turned to face it.

"Within? It's that big?"

"You misunderstand. Direct virtual interface is necessary to extract Geth from the server. You must enter our consensus."

Shepard leaned back against the console, her arms crossed defensively across her chest. "You want me to virtually interact with the Geth?"

"That's insane!" Tali burst out. "You're talking about a virtual world built for synthetics. Hostile Geth synthetics!" Kaidan nodded. __This sounds like a really bad idea. I have to say something.__

"That kind of tech isn't even on the market. This can't be safe."

"I'm not a machine." Shepard uncrossed her arms. "How do I go into a virtual world?"

"Your species has experimented with virtual interfaces. You saw this on Project Overlord." Shepard's face darkened.

"I saw how it almost unleashed a rogue AI-human hybrid on the galaxy."

"We have refined the interface they created and have equipment from Normandy to facilitate safe contact. we request your trust." Silence fell in the small cabin as Shepard and Legion stared at each other, finally, Shepard gave the synthetic a brief smile.

"I have your back, Legion, even though I don't quite understand why you need it."

"You are an unknown. This is an advantage. Geth security is not adept at targeting organic thought processes. While we occupy the systems intrusion countermeasures, you will disable the squadrons by removing Geth from the server." Shepard flicked a piece of hair out of her face and sighed.

"If it saves the liveships, we've got to try it."

"Telemetry data predicts this operation has a high chance of success. there is little time. we will bypass security while you secure safe landing." Legion opened the shuttle door, letting in the wind and dust of the planet. It stood at the edge, and turned to face Shepard.

"Wait, you're not going to-"

Spreading its arms, the Geth leaned backwards, dropping out of the shuttle. Kaidan and Tali rushed to join Shepard as she leaned over the edge.

"I guess it just did." Kaidan said as he gently pulled Shepard away from the drop. Cortez dropped the shuttle, bringing them down to land outside a small cave. Legion was nowhere to be seen, but a faint glow from inside the tunnel seemed to indicate their destination.

As they followed the light, Kaidan watched Tali out of the corner of his eye. The young Quarian Admiral ran her hand along the wall as they walked, Kaidan was sure she was grinning under her helmet.

"Ready to get out of the suit and do some farming, Tali?"

She laughed.

"More than you know!" She sighed loudly. "I can't wait for this to be over. To feel the sun on my face, dirt under my feet... Although that is probably a few years off. We have to reintroduce our immune systems to the planet and..."

She trailed off as Shepard held up a hand. The body of a Geth was crumpled ahead of them, and she crept forward to examine it.

"It's not Legion." She called back. "It must have gone this way, then."

Rounding a corner, the found the friendly Geth hard at work at a console, surrounded by the remains of its fellow synthetics. The blue glow of the screen gave the room an eerie feeling, like something out of the horror vids Kaidan had watched as a teen.

"This it is?" Shepard asked, looking over Legion's shoulder, their matching N7 stripes lining up neatly.

"Yes. Hostile Geth fighter squadrons are networked to this server. Due to restricted resources, it is best if you connect alone." __I don't want her to do this alone, but someone has to protect her body while she's... away... __Shepard took a deep breath.

"Lets do it."

"Initializing peer network integration. Proceed to docking port."

Part of the console shifted, and a large door opened. The squad peered in at what looked like an oversized version of the Normandy's old sleeper pods. Shepard made a face and climbed up, leaning back carefully against the wiring. The hatch snapped shut behind her, causing her to jolt upright.

"Legion?" She called out, slamming her hand up against the glass. The Geth continued to work on the console, so Kaidan stepped up and gently placed his hand over hers.

"Shepard. Its going to be okay. Tali and I will make sure everything stays safe out here." __Dammit, I hate seeing her freaked out. If something worries her, then we should all be worried. I knew this was a bad idea.__

"Mapping to consensus. Remain still."

Shepard nodded, taking her hand away from the glass. The moment it was back at her side, a series of blue lights began scanning her face. She looked around frantically, trying to track the source.

"Shepard-Commander, excess movement during an upload is discouraged." Shepard gritted her teeth, and looked up at Kaidan. He gave her a smile, which slowly turned to horror as he stared at her face. Her expression was one of determination, but her eyes... her eyes were open wide, staring, but not seeing. She stood frozen as the blue lights played across her face. Tali put her hand on his arm, making him jump with surprise.

"It's probably best if you don't look at her right now." She said softly. She sat down on the ground, cradling her shotgun in her lap. "I think Legion took care of all the active Geth in the area... and I don't think any more can come online while they are in... there." She looked up at the inert Geth, then patted the ground next to her, inviting him to sit. "So, tell me what you've been doing the last few years."

He gave her the rundown, working with Alliance Intelligence, tracking Cerberus, teaching his kids. Tali responded with stories of her own, including several about the SR2 crew that Kaidan hadn't heard before.

"So I told him the conversation was over, then he said 'tell me again about your immune system', so I threatened him with my shotgun." She shook her head. "Garrus is so strange."

"Strange?" Kaidan had to work to hide his curious expression.

"Yes. I never quite know what he's thinking. Do you think he was making fun of me?"

"Actually, it sounds like he was flirting with you."

She looked away quickly, and nervously fiddled with her shotgun.

"Really?"__She does have feelings for him! If I wasn't so worried about Shepard, this would be hilarious.__

"Yeah. I'm positive."

"Great. And I threatened to shoot him."

"I don't think he minded." Kaidan watched as she sighed, setting her shotgun down.

"You and Shepard are lucky. You don't care when people make fun of you two. I don't know if I'm ready for 'Fleet and Flotilla' jokes."

"Wait, what? People make fun of me and Shepard?"

Tali laughed.

"Besides Ashley and Joker? Yes. Keelah, we all knew about you two before you did. And on the SR2... She had that photo of you, she wouldn't let anyone touch it. And there was this night a few weeks before we went to the Collector base, we had what we thought would be our last night out on the Citadel. Shepard drank... well everything. But she kept looking around... and we finally pried it out of her that she was looking for you. We thought she was still mad at you, but she said, and I will never forget this, 'I'm pretty sure he hates me, but I just want to see that ass walk away from me one more time before I die.'" Kaidan felt his face go red, and Tali laughed. A horribly awkward thought crossed his mind.

"Oh no."

"What?"

"When I was about to leave Grissom Academy... I met Jack. When she realized who I was, she called me 'the ass from Horizon.' I thought she meant I was a jerk. But she really meant..."

Tali giggled.

"Exactly. Knowing her, she probably checked you out as you left the room. I bet she wanted to see what the fuss was all about." She sighed contentedly, and leaned her head back against the edge of the console. "Its nice to take my mind off the war for a few minutes."

"I hear that." He looked up at the glowing pod that contained Shepard. "It'll be nice when we don't have anything to worry about."

"You really love her."

"Yeah. I do."

They sat in silence, listening to the wind whistle down the tunnel. Finally, Legion jerked back to life, and the pod door opened. Kaidan sprung to his feet, catching Shepard as she stumbled out.

"Shepard! You all right?"

"Did it work?" She mumbled, almost groggily. She shook herself to alertness as EDI's voice came over the comms.

"Geth fighters have been disabled. any remaining squadrons attacking the liveships have withdrawn. The server is offline."

Loud hissing noises interrupted the AI, the pods containing the inactive Geth were coming online.

"Are you sure?" Shepard said uncertainly, backing up against Kaidan, pistol drawn. Tali joined them, and they held their ground as several dozen of the giant Geth Primes surrounded them. __Oh this is not good. __They stared as Legion walked up to a group of Primes, then turned to face the squad.

"What's happening?" Obviously not wanting to point her gun at Legion, Shepard kept it trained on one of the larger Geth, as she turned her head to look at her ally.

"We have transferred Geth programs from the server into these platforms."

"Why?"

The lighting on the Primes faded from the hostile red to Legion's peaceful blue, and the units all seemed to relax slightly.

"They wish to join us."

"They what?" Tali's voice came out barely about a whisper, but it seemed to echo in the crowded room. Legion stepped forward.

"While Shepard-Commander removed the Reaper infection, we judged we could persuade hostile Geth programs to reunite with ours. We were correct. These Geth have renounced the Old Machines and will oppose the Reapers. They are now us."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Shepard holstered her pistol and relaxed her own stance. Kaidan put his away as well, but kept his hand on it, just in case.

"We did not doubt you. We doubted your allies." Tali gasped indignantly. "The creators' actions have placed their species in danger, but they are unsympathetic to what it has done to ours. The Quarians sanctioned this operation to save their people. They would not have done so it they knew we wished to preserve Geth as well."

"I understand not wanting to leave anyone behind." Shepard glanced back at Kaidan, who gave her a nod.

"You accept our actions?" Legion sounded uncertain.

"The liveships are safe, and we have more Geth on our side. We both did what we came to do."

"We judged you would understand. Prime units will be available once the Reaper signal has been located and destroyed." The large Geth parted, clearing a path to the cave entrance. Shepard turned to Kaidan with a smile.

"Remind me to warn Admiral Hackett he's got some Primes coming." She jerked her head towards the exit. "Lets get back to the Normandy."

Cortez was waiting with the shuttle, and within minutes they were heading back to the Normandy.

"Everything go okay, Commander?" Joker asked over the comms.

"I think so." Shepard responded, running her fingers through her hair.

"Great. Admiral Hackett keeps calling, he wants an update on the situation. Oh, and Alenko, he says he still needs that last expense report from you." _Dammit. I forgot I didn't finish that. Why do I still have to do paperwork? Does Shepard ever do paperwork?_

"Thanks. I'll get right on those when we get back to the ship."

"Great. We'll see you guys soon."

As the comms clicked off, Shepard sank into a seat next to Kaidan and stared at the wall. _I want to ask her about what she saw, but I have to focus on finishing my report. We can talk later. _He watched her sit, unmoving, and his curiosity finally got the better of him.

"What the hell, Shepard? What just happened?" He shook his head. "Actually, don't tell me. I've got work to do, and I... I can't be distracted." She continued to stare at the wall blankly. When she started talking it sounded like she almost didn't believe herself.

"I was plugged into the virtual world of the Geth consensus. Saw their history, purged a Reaper infection."

"Crap. Now I'll be obsessing about how that works instead of doing my expense report."

"You're welcome." She finally looked at him, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as he jokingly glared at her. _Okay. She's okay. She's just needs to process what happened. _He sighed. _I will be so happy when people stop messing with her head. _

"You know, entering the Geth consensus is going to be the best chapter in your autobiography."

She shook her head.

"Nah. Saving the galaxy from the Reapers will be. Or who knows... retiring with you and raising lots of rowdy children will be the best chapter."

Kaidan couldn't stop himself from grinning.

"You want lots of kids?"

"Why not? We have the human race to rebuild. We'll get Vega to babysit. He can handle it."

Tali snorted from across the shuttle. Kaidan looked up at her and chuckled. _I have to say something. I can't let this opportunity pass by. _

"So, Shepard, should I be walking in front of you during missions from now on?"

She wrinkled her brow in confusion.

"Why would you... oh... Tali, you didn't tell him." Tali and Kaidan both laughed as Shepard sulked with embarrassment. "I hate both of you."

"No you don't." Kaidan kissed the top of her head as they docked with the Normandy. "Now, lets get ready for you to go out and end another war."


	12. Chapter 12

(Oh man. This chapter is full of plot necessary combat. Argh. Hopefully I can make it interesting and not stupidly technical and boring. Cross your fingers for me.)

Chapter 12

Climbing off the shuttle, Kaidan stretched his arms out and yawned before Shepard poked him in the back with an impatient look.

"Move it, Major." Their stop on the Normandy was going to be brief, they were just there for her to make a report to Hackett, and she had ordered Kaidan up to the galley during the short layover. "When we were at Grissom..." she said, following him into the elevator. "Jack stressed how important it is for biotics to have energy. I'm pretty sure we're going to encounter a lot of resistance down there, and I need you at your best." Arriving at the crew deck, she shoved him out of the lift. "Eat quick, and get back down to the shuttle!" He saluted with a smile as the doors hissed shut, then made his way over to the kitchen.

James Vega was at the stove, humming as he cooked under the scornful eye of Javik the Prothean.

"Hola, Major!" The cheerful Lieutenant called out. "Stopping by for some lunch?"

"You giving up being a Marine for a career as a short order cook, Vega?"

"Nah. Just got some cravings, that's all." He slid a plate across the counter to Kaidan, who grabbed it gratefully and started eating. Shepard was right, having biotics caused his metabolism to run fast, and since he had been improving his skills, he had found himself eating more and more. The plus side of that had been the additional muscle he had put on in the last few years.

After polishing off the eggs Vega had made, he grabbed a few protein bars and returned to the flight deck. Tali was still sitting in the shuttle, drinking something gross looking through a straw. Legion stood in the corner, watching her intently. Kaidan was about to ask it about the armor, when Shepard barreled onto the shuttle behind him.

"We gotta go." She said, out of breath. "The Quarian fleet is on the move to engage the Geth. If we want to stop this, we gotta go now!" The shuttle door shut behind her, and Cortez kicked the engines on. "Steve, as soon as we're clear of the Normandy, I want you to punch it and get us down there as fast as possible."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am!" The pilot called back. Shepard sat down, a laser targeting device in her hands. Kaidan stepped in front of her, holding onto a railing as the shuttle rocketed out of the bay.

"Orbital strike?" She nodded.

"You remember how many ships it took to take down Sovereign? Reapers build to last. Whatever is giving off this signal is huge, it's going to take some heavy firepower to destroy it."

"Yeah. Sovereign." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "That bastard tried to take you with him when he went down." He remembered the empty feeling in his chest, the numbness when he thought he had lost her. __Not for the first time I felt that, or the last. __Without really thinking about it, he reached down and took her hand. She smiled up at him.

A soft whirring noise from the corner startled Kaidan, and he looked over at Legion. __Was that a sigh? __The Geth looked away, as if it was embarrassed to have been caught staring. Shepard cleared her throat, and waited until they had broken through Rannoch's atmosphere before standing up.

"The syncing laser needs a line of sight. What's the fastest route?"

"The upper entrance." Legion responded. "Target the base before the Geth can organize resistance."

"What about you?"

"We will deactivate defense systems and acquire an escape vehicle."

"You can do that?" Shepard sounded impressed and skeptical at the same time.

"This unit still carries remnants of Old Machine upgrade code." Voice dropping in volume, Legion hung its head, purposely not looking at Shepard. "We can break any Geth security." It lifted its head slightly. "You are concerned." Shepard sighed, leaning against the wall.

"You know your limits. I trust you. I'm more concerned you didn't tell me about the upgrades."

"You were tolerant of our recovery of Geth intelligence from the server. But this matter is different. Personal." Kaidan stared with intense curiosity. __Personal? Does it have a personality? Secrets? Do all Geth? Have the Geth I've been destroying for three years been more than mindless machines? Have I been thoughtlessly destroying sentient creatures? __Kaidan had long ago made peace with the amount of lives he had taken in his decade long military career, but he had never considered the Geth to truly be alive. He felt a knot grow in the pit of his stomach as he turned the thought over in his mind. Thankfully, Shepard broke the long silence.

"You were ashamed."

"Shame is an emotional or cognitive response to societal judgment." There was confusion in Legion's voice. "It should not apply here."

"I'm on your side here, Legion. I want to help your people." Shepard put her hand gently on its shoulder, an honest gesture of peace.

"We did not intend to cause offense." The Geth brought its head up fully to look Shepard in the eye. The flaps around its lens twitched like eyebrows. Shepard took her hand from the unit, and placed it on her face, rubbing her eye gently.

"How'd we get here? The Geth are better than this."

Legion's head dropped again. It made a soft clicking noise, then spoke with a voice barely above a whisper.

"No. Based on empirical evidence, they are not."

"Yeah." Shepard muttered, shrugging her shoulders.

The shuttle landed behind a large rock formation, shielding them from the facility. Opening the shuttle door, Legion and Shepard stepped up to the edge and looked at each other.

"Proceed to the upper entrance. We will exit here and procure an escape vehicle."

"Got it." She paused for a moment, then called after the Geth. "Legion! Good luck."

"Acknowledged." It responded with a nod, before disappearing around a corner.

The squad departed the shuttle, but Tali wandered over to the edge of the embankment, instead of following Legion towards their target.

"I can't believe it." She said breathlessly. "I don't think its really sunk in yet. The homeworld. My world. Look at the sky! And the rock formations! They used to write poems about them." Shepard came up behind her, their bodies silhouetted against the landscape by the bright sun.

"When we're done, maybe you'll write a new one."

"This is Rannoch. The world of our ancestors. Our bodies carried the seeds that spread the desert grass." She pulled her gaze away from the view, and cocked her head at Shepard. "You've heard me say Keelah se'lai? The best translation I can come up with is 'by the homeworld I hope to see someday.'"

"Looks like you're seeing it today."

Tali laughed, and looked back at the low valley before her, making a frame with her fingers.

"The living room window will be right here."

"Something I should know?" Shepard said, eyebrows raised.

"I just claimed the land. I know it doesn't mean much, but when this is over, I'll have a home."

"The Quarians spent centuries as nomads. You think you can go back to living in one place?" Tali's shoulders sunk.

"We have gotten used to carrying our homes around with us..."

Shepard knelt down, plucking a small rock off the ground. She tossed it in her hand a few times before standing up and handing it to Tali.

"Well..." The Quarian said. "That's a start."

Kaidan watched as the women stared out into the distance. __Tali and her people are finally getting a home. __He wanted to be happy for her, but a dark thought crossed his mind. __Will I have a home to go back to when this is all over? __He hadn't heard any news about how Singapore, the city of his birth, had fared in the war, but Vancouver had been his home. It was all gone now. He didn't even remember much of Singapore, just the beach and warmth, and it was hard to picture it being destroyed by the Reapers. __But I haven't even lived in Vancouver since I left for brain camp. I've been in space for half of my life. It hasn't been home in a long time.__

Tali gently placed the small rock in a pouch, and walked past him, an slight bounce in her step. Shepard followed her, a dorky grin on her face. __That's the answer right there. Home is where ever I'm with her.__

The levity of the moment faded as they approached the large facility. Shepard unclipped her assault rifle off her backplate and check the heat sink. Several Geth were patrolling in the distance, thankfully not yet alerted to the intruders. Kneeling down behind a long row of ventilation tubing, Shepard sighed deeply and whispered to the squad.

"Tali, you good?" The Quarian nodded, onmitool glowing, and shotgun at the ready. "Kaidan?" He nodded as well, readying his omnitool before grabbing his pistol. "Biotics ready to go?" He pulsed the blue lightning around his hand briefly before shaking it off. "That's what I like to see." She grinned madly. "Let's do this."

She vaulted herself onto the tubes, slid across and picked off three Geth with frightening accuracy. Kaidan and Tali followed, using their omnitools to fry the circuits of nearby troopers. __I wonder if that hurts them.__ He grimaced as a Geth squealed horribly. __Don't think about that now. Focus on not getting killed.__

They cleared the small courtyard of Geth, and Shepard paused, glancing around with narrowed eyes.

"Traynor, can you give me an update on the Quarian fleet?" She called over the comms. "I haven't heard from them in a while."

"The Geth jamming towers are interfering with your signal, Commander." The comm officer responded. "I'm compensating to keep you patched in."

"Good work, Traynor."

The next voice that came over the comms wasn't the Quarians as expected, but Legion.

"Shepard-Commander, you must climb to the upper levels before Geth units can fortify their positions."

"We're on our way!" She scampered up a nearby ladder with impressive speed, obviously not wanting to deal with more Geth than necessary. Kaidan agreed. __The less Geth the better.__

Finally, the Quarian radio chatter started piping up over the comms.

"Admiral Gerrel here. The heavy fleet has a clear path. All forward!"

"Geth fighter presence is negligible."Admiral Raan called back. "Patrol fleet, break cover and engage."

"Come on!" Tali hissed, unlocking a nearby door. "We need to get inside before they get reinforcements!"

The door led them through narrow hallways reminiscent of every maze-like factory and prefabricated base Kaidan had followed Shepard through.

"Shepard-Commander, hostile Geth are closing a blast shield over the base."

"Shit!" Shepard doubled her pace, bolting up a small ramp into open sunlight. She skidded to a halt at the edge of a walkway, slamming her hand on the edge in frustration. Kaidan looked down past her, where a gigantic hole in the ground was slowly being covered by the blast shield. Narrowing his eyes, he looked closer, something was definitely in there, something large and a dark metallic black. Strangely, it didn't reflect the light, but somehow seemed to absorb it. __What the hell is that? __Before he could get a better look, the shield closed, cutting it off from view.

"Fuuuuuuuck." Shepard muttered. "We have to get in there!"

"It'd take hours to break through that shield!" Kaidan said, shaking his head.

"We don't have that kind of time!" She slammed her fist down on the railing again.

"We have located an override atop the Geth fortifications." Legion announced. "It can retract the blast shield."

"How do we activate it?"

"The override controls are in the next server room. Continue forward."

As she started towards the door, Shepard called back to Kaidan and Tali.

"Anyone get a good look at that thing?"

"It didn't look like Geth tech." Kaidan responded.

"It probably isn't." She stopped suddenly, peering around a corner. "Its a Reaper base, so that's most likely Reaper tech."

"Should we keep going?" Tali asked, adjusting something on her omnitool.

"I thought I heard something- dammit!" Several Geth poured our of a door, guns blazing. Leaning out from behind cover, Kaidan felt a rush of hot air hit his face, and quickly pulled back.

"When the fuck did they get flamethrowers?" He yelled at Shepard.

"What?"

"Flamethrowers! What do we do?"

"Don't let them get close!"

"How?"

"I don't know! Biotic them or something!"

Feeling the heat getting closer, Kaidan stood and quickly threw out a large wave of energy. The Geth flew backwards, melting each other with their flames. Shepard and Tali finished off the group trying to flank them, and stood, Shepard wiping sweat off her forehead.

"Biotic them?"

"I was a little busy on this side, Major!"

"Shepard-Commander, do you need assistance?" There was a hint of apprehension in the Geth's voice.

"We'll get through." Shepard wrinkled her nose at Kaidan. "What's your status?"

"The Old Machine's upgrades grant us targeting superiority. We are drawing hostile fire from your position."

"Keep it up! We'll get to the blast shield controls!"

They crept through the doors the Geth had come through, thankfully finding an empty room. As they kept to the walls and stayed quiet, they listened to the Quarians engaging the Geth over the comms. After a few minutes, a panicked voice drowned out all the others.

"Admiral Gerrel to all ships! We've got Geth frigates inbound on the civilian fleet!"

"Koris here. Civilian defenders are on intercept course. We'll hold them, Gerrel."

"Oh no. Not the civilian fleet..." Tali whispered.

"We're gonna fix everything, Tali. Keep it together." She scanned the room quickly. "Okay, everyone spread out and look for the override controls!"

Shepard was ultimately the one to find the control panel, and she stared, her brow wrinkled as she tried to make sense of it. Finally, Tali came up beside her and started working on the complex console.

"Legion, I've hit the override." Shepard looked up at Tali, who nodded.

"We have gained system access and are bypassing security. Stand by."

They backed up against the wall, waiting for any sign of an ambush. But the facility remained quiet, the silence broken only by the occasional thump of machinery.

"We have bypassed security." Legion's voice caused Tali to jump, and she put her hand on her head with a sigh. "But disabling the blast shield requires manual input. We have enabled a console near your position."

"That one?" Shepard pointed to the far side of the room.

"Looks like the only other console in here..." Kaidan said as they jogged over. There was one large button on the control panel.

"Okay, I think I can handle this one."

"I don't know." Kaidan teased. "The last time I saw you hit a button, you blew up ancient ruins, and nearly killed us with a volcano." She glared at him, and activated the controls. A loud rumbling filled the facility, and Shepard looked at Kaidan with a guilty expression.

"Shepard-Commander. You have successfully opened the blast shield doors."

She exhaled deeply, and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Good. We'll be back out in a minute."

"Negative. The path behind you has been sealed. A nearby elevator can take you to the upper level. From there, you should have an acceptable line of sight for targeting."

"Great. More Geth elevators." Tali grumbled as they stepped on board.

"Hey, it wasn't you that almost fell down the last one." Shepard pointed out.

"True." The lift carried them upwards at an almost uncomfortably quick pace.

"Admiral Raan to all ships. The patrol fleet has broken the Geth flank. Permission to pursue." Tali flicked her fingers nervously as they listened to the Admirals.

"Granted. Good hunting, Raan."

The lift stopped, and the doors opened to three Geth Primes.

"Well shit." Shepard muttered. Kaidan threw up a barrier, deflecting most of the Geth's fire, and allowing the squad to get out of the elevator and into cover. "Can you guys hack through their shields before they get... hey, what's this?" Kaidan held his barrier as she grabbed a strange looking gun from under a crate. "Worth a shot! Tali, get the shields down on one of them!"

Aiming at the first Prime, she held the gun out and fired. It knocked the Prime backwards with a continuous burst of plasma, sending Shepard stumbling with the recoil. Kaidan dropped his barrier and grabbed her shoulders to brace her. She fired again, sweeping the arc through the Primes. As the last one fell, the gun clicked, its reserve of plasma depleted.

"Damn." Shepard said, letting the gun slip out of her fingers. "If it didn't have such limited ammo... I'd seriously want one of these."

"No kidding."

"Right! Lets take out that signal!"

They ran up a small ramp onto an extended platform over the large hole they had seen earlier. The strange black device was fully visible now, a tangle of metal and unnatural angles. Just looking at it made Kaidan's skin crawl.

"EDI, are you ready to go?"

"Normandy's weapon systems are ready to sync to your target." Shepard leaned over the edge of the platform, aiming the targeting laser into the pit. "I recommend you withdraw to a safe distance." Shepard grimaced as the laser beeped rapidly. "Target locked!"

The Normandy dropped out of the sky with a roar, sending heavy fire towards the Reaper tech as it screamed by.

"Oh... shit." Shepard said, as the ensuing explosion sent debris rocketing towards them. The whole facility shook, and the platform cracked in half, sending Shepard plummeting over the edge.

"Shepard!" Kaidan yelled, sliding down after her. She lay on her back, clutching her ribs. "Shepard, are you okay?"

"Yeah." She gasped, grabbing his hand as he pulled her to her feet. "Not saying that didn't hurt... But I'm alright."

They stood in the rubble, trying to see through the cloud of dust into the hole.

"Did we get it?" Tali asked, picking her way over a collapsed pile of tubing. "Did we shut down the signal?"

The ground rolled, sending the squad stumbling, and a loud roar chilled Kaidan to his bones. His mind immediately flashed back to the escape from Earth, when a Reaper had appeared between the buildings of Vancouver. As if to validate his fear, an insect-like leg shot out of the hole, crashing down in front of them.

"Reaper!" Shepard screamed.

"Shepard-Commander, we have located transportation." A small Geth gunship appeared, hovering on the far side of the pit.

"Copy that. Everybody get to the ship! Move!"

As they ran, scrambling over debris and blindly stumbling through clouds of smoke, the Reaper's legs slammed around them, as if it was trying to crush the squad.

"Move!" Roared Shepard, as she dove out of the way.

"What do we do?" Tali cried. "Look at the size of that thing!"

"I was hoping your fleet might lend a hand!"

Shepard ran past a small air vent, not noticing a Geth trooper as it crawled out after her. The synthetic took aim, but Kaidan came up behind it, hitting it in the back of the head as hard as he could with his fist. _Not today, you little bastard. _As it dropped to the ground, Tali turned to blast it with her shotgun.

"Come on!" Shepard shoved Tali and Kaidan into the gunship hatch, before climbing onto the back and arming the turret. They landed in a heap, Tali trying to untangle herself from him without damaging her suit.

"Legion, get us out of here!"

"We will attempt evasive maneuvers."

Kaidan tried to stand up, but the motion of the small ship knocked him back to the floor. All he could do was sit and listen to Shepard try to give orders to the fleet and fire the turret at the same time. _Oh god. We're being chased by a Reaper. We're in a gunship. There is no way we can outrun it. _He held his head in his hands.

"Shepard to fleet, Its not a Reaper base, it's a live Reaper! I need an orbital strike!" Legion turn the ship quickly, and Shepard gave a yell of surprise. Kaidan rolled to his feet with the motion, and grabbed the small ladder.

"Shepard! Hang on!"

"We're clear!" She called down to him, then turned her attention back to the Reaper. "Fire at will!"

Sticking his head up through the open hatch, Kaidan watched as the Reaper collapsed under a barrage of cannon fire. Small explosions riddled its body, sending it crashing to the ground. Legion slowed the gunship, letting it drift slowly over a small cliff.

"What did we hit?" One of the Quarian admirals asked. Shepard shielded her eyes from the sun, and examined the monster as it struggled to stand.

"The firing chamber! Looks like a weak point when its priming!"

"Dammit, the jamming towers have us targeting manually! We can't make a precision shot!"

"We may escape before it recovers." Legion started to increase their speed.

"No! Pull over!" The gunship slammed to a halt, and Shepard dropped off the side to the ground. Kaidan shot up the ladder, Tali quick on his heels. Legion landed the ship behind a small rock formation and joined them.

"Shepard-Commander?" She looked up at them.

"If we run away, the Geth stay under Reaper control and the Quarians are dead. This ends now!" She adjusted the the targeting laser. "EDI, patch the Quarians into the Normandy's weapon systems. I want the targeting laser synced up to the whole damn fleet!"

There was silence on the line for a moment before the AI answered.

"Understood."

Legion cocked its head at Shepard, the flaps on its head moving with concern.

"Do you need assistance?"

Just stay down, Legion. I'll take it from here." As she turned away, the Geth called out again.

"Shepard-Commander... Good luck." She flashed them a grim smile.

"Acknowledged."

Kaidan opened his mouth to call her back, but she shook her head at him. The smile faded off her face, and she turned to stare down the Reaper.

"Shepard to fleet! I'll paint the weak spot, sync up with the Normandy and be ready to fire!"

She braced herself against a large rock, and aimed the laser. The Reaper was trying hit the fleet, aiming wildly into the sky. The flotilla responded, with a precision strike to Shepard's target. The monster recoiled from the hit, smoke curling up from its joints. The great red eye scanned the horizon, searching for the location of the laser. When it found her, it roared again, and started lumbering across the landscape towards them.

"Oh shit." Kaidan gasped. _She's so exposed to it. There's no way she can defend herself!_ The Reaper primed its gun, but Shepard was quicker, and she rolled away from the beam, holding the laser out, calling down the strike. More smoke poured out of the creature, but it continued on its path, Shepard the only thing it seemed to care about.

Kaidan helplessly clung the edge of the turret, there was absolutely nothing he could do to help Shepard. The big gun was useless, his biotics were useless, he was useless. _Well, if it kills her, its going to kill us too. At least I won't have to live without her for long. _He stared up at the approaching monster, it loomed over them like the a great tower of death. Tali inhaled sharply, and Kaidan glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She was standing behind Legion, peering out from behind it, her gloved hands gripping the Geth's shoulder tightly. She ducked her head as the Reaper bore down on Shepard, its firing chamber glowing an evil red.

Shepard stumbled to her knees and screamed as she leaned up and aimed the targeting laser. Just as the Reaper started to fire on her, the last orbital strike connected, and it collapsed in a heap, falling back into the small canyon. Kaidan flung himself off the gunship and ran to her, helping her up. They approached the edge of the cliff, Legion and Tali behind them. As they stared at the smoldering rubble of the Reaper, its red eye flickered on and found them.

"Shepard." The deep, gravelly voice echoed off the canyon walls. Kaidan felt himself shiver. _I don't believe in the devil, but if there really is one, this is what he sounds like. _

"You know who I am?"

"Harbinger speaks of you. You resist. But you will fail. The cycle must continue."

"What are you taking about?" Shepard put her hands on her hips. "We stopped Sovereign and the Geth. We stopped Harbinger and the Collectors. We've earned a straight answer!" _That's my girl. Bickering with a Reaper. _

"It is not a thing you can comprehend."

"We might surprise you.""

"You represent chaos. We represent order. Every organic civilization must be harvested in order to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention, organics are doomed. We are your salvation."

Shepard looked at Kaidan with confusion. _Does it actually think it's helping us?_ He rubbed the back of his neck, and shrugged at her. She wiped sweat off her forehead, then turned back to the dying giant.

"You're killing everyone in the galaxy to save us?"

"The cycle must continue. There is no alternative." _Cycle? What cycle?_

"Organics and synthetics don't have to destroy each other!"

"The battle for Rannoch disproves your assertion. Finish your war. We will be waiting."

The light flickered again, and went out. The Reaper settled into a heap, its joints collapsing.

"We did it." Tali said softly. "We killed a Reaper! Keelah..." Legion came up behind them, staring down at the dead Reaper.

"We can confirm the Geth are no longer being controlled by the Old Machines. We are free."

Shepard crouched down, resting her forehead on her knees. Kaidan knelt over her, his hand on her back.

"Are you okay?"

"I thought it had me there, at the end." She mumbled to the ground. She exhaled and looked up at him. "I really did."

Kaidan took his hand off her back, and offered it to her. She took it, letting him pull her back up to her feet. Before she could say anything else, the voice of Admiral Gerrel sounded over the comms.

"You did it, Shepard! The Geth fleet has stopped firing! They're completely vulnerable!"

"Shepard-Commander, the Geth only acted in defense after the creators attacked. Do we deserve death?" Legion cocked its head to the side with a soft clicking noise. Shepard stared with confusion.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Our upgrades. With the Old Machine dead, we could upload them to all Geth without sacrificing their independence."

Tali stepped between Shepard and the Geth, her hands thrown up in anger.

"You want to upload the Reaper code? That would make the Geth as smart as when the Reaper was controlling them!"

"Yes. But with free will. Each Geth unit would be a true intelligence. We would be alive, and we could help you."

Waving her hand at the sky, Tali's voice rose in anger and frustration.

"Our fleet is already attacking! Uploading the code would destroy us! Shepard, you can't chose the Geth over my people!"

"Do you remember the question that caused the Creators to attack my people, Tali'Zorah?" Legion's voice was gentle, a stark contrast to Tali's yells. "Does this unit have a soul?"

Shepard's eyes widened. _She won't do it. The Geth are self aware. They're alive. _

"Upload the code to the Geth. Tali, call the fleet off if you can."

Nodding, Legion brought up a holographic ball, manipulating it like a Geth omnitool. Kaidan watched in interest as the Geth rotated it in complex patterns.

"Uploading. 10 percent."

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorah." Tali cried into her comms. "All units break off your attack!"

"Belay that order!" Came a harsh male voice in reply. "Continue the attack!"

"20 percent." Legion spoke to no one in particular as it continued its work. Tali ran to stand in front of the Geth.

"I beg you, do not do this! Please!" Legion looked up at her, its flaps raised in a sympathetic expression.

"We regret the deaths of the Creators, but we see no alternative. Forty percent."

Shepard dragged her fingers through her hair, and shook her head.

"No." She said softly. "Nobody else dies today. Legion, keep going."

"Shepard?" Tali spun to face the Commander.

"All ships, this is Commander Shepard." She spoke with force, the voice she used when she had to use rank and reputation to get to a solution. "The Reaper is dead. Stand down!"

"This is Admiral Tali'Zorah." Tali added frantically. "Shepard speaks with my authority!"

"And mine as well." The gentle voice of Admiral Koris joined them.

"Negative!" Gerrel yelled. "We can win this war now! Keep firing!"

"Sixty percent."

Shepard took a deep breath, and stared at the sky. Debris from the battle was falling into the atmosphere, sending trails of fire towards the horizon.

"The Geth are about to return to full strength. If you keep attacking them, they'll wipe you out! Your entire history is you trying to kill the Geth. You forced them to rebel. You forced them to ally with the Reapers!"

"Eighty percent." Tali collapsed to her knees, her hands on her head. Kaidan felt sick. _Is she about to watch the destruction of her entire race? All because of one stupid Admiral?_

"The Geth don't want to fight you. If you can believe that for one minute, this war will be over. You have a choice. Please." Shepard hung her head. "Keelah se'lai."

There was silence... then a reluctant voice echoed over the system.

"All units... hold fire."

Shepard relaxed, a broad grin spreading across her face. She ran to Tali, grabbed the Quarian by the shoulders and lifted her up off the ground. Tali was shaking so hard, Shepard's hands were practically vibrating.

"Its over, Tali! It's all going to be okay! Everybody's going to live. Everything will be-"

"Error." They all turned to stare at Legion. Shepard's smile faded. "Copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination required." It's tone of voice had changed, somehow seeming less mechanical then it had before. _It sounds sad. "_Shepard-Commander. I must go to them. I'm sorry. Its the only way."

All the color drained out of Shepard's face. Her hands fell to her side. Tali bowed her head, and spoke softly.

"Legion... the answer to your question was 'yes'."

"I know, Tali. But thank you. Keelah se'lai."

The lights surrounding its lens flared and went out, the lifeless unit dropped to its knees, then pitched forward with a soft thump. Shepard sank down next to it, gently rolling it over onto her lap.

"Shepard, do you-"

"NO."

Kaidan stepped back hurridly. _She needs to process. She'll find me when she's ready. _He offered his arm to Tali,who was still shaking so badly that standing seemed difficult. They watched Quarian and Geth ships breaking atmosphere, and Shepard carefully prying her old chestplate off Legion. Once she had it, she cradled it carefully to her own chest, running her fingers around its ragged edges. As the ships approached, she stood and approached the squad. Tali rummaged in one of her pouches and pulled out a strip of fabric.

"Here." She offered it to Shepard. "I use these for delicate samples." Shepard accepted it gratefully, gently wrapping the battered piece of armor. Clutching it like a religious talisman, she turned away from them to watch the ships landing. She didn't speak again until the Quarians started joining them on the cliff edge. Admiral Raan was the first to approach, the woman holding her ribs and walking with a slight limp.

"Commander!"

"Admiral Raan, I heard your ship made a crash landing." Shepard forced a smile. _That's not her lying smile. She's covering up how much she's hurting. _"Glad you got out in one piece."

"I was listening over the radio. If Han'Gerrel hadn't stopped-"

"He did." Shepard cut her off.

"We've taken heavy losses. I don't know if we can... where are we supposed to go?"

A bright red Geth Prime lumbered up to them, and extended its hand.

"You are welcome to return to Rannoch, Admiral Raan. With us." Its voice was low and rough. Legion had been the only Geth Kaidan had ever heard speak, but somehow, the Prime sounded exactly like he imagined they would.

"Legion?" Shepard's voice cracked.

"No. I'm sorry, Commander. Legion sacrificed itself to give us all intelligence. It will be honored."

"Good." Shepard nodded.

"And we will honor Legion's promise. The Geth fleet will help you retake Earth and our engineers will assist in building the Crucible."

"As will ours, of course." Raan added, still staring at the Prime. It looked down at her, cocking its head to the side.

"Admiral, had you considered possible settlement sites?"

"We... the southern continent had excellent farmland, as I recall."

"Are you going to be okay?" Shepard asked softly. _Someone needs to ask you that. _

"I believe so, Commander. Thank you."

Raan and the Prime walked off together, disappearing around a corner. Tali and Shepard wandered off towards the cliff, Shepard aimlessly kicking stones towards the corpse of the Reaper while Tali surveyed the landscape, hands on her hips. Kaidan lingered behind, letting each woman have the space she needed. _So much has happened in the last hour. I can't even begin to imagine what's going on in their heads. _He watched as the Normandy's shuttle landed behind him, and Cortez jumped out.

"Had to get my boots on the ground!" He laughed. "It's not everyday you get to be the third human on a planet."

They sat in the open hatch, watching Shepard continue to kick rocks off the edge.

"I worry about her." Cortez said. "I really do."

"Yeah?" Kaidan frowned as the wind blew dust into his face.

"She tries so hard to help everyone. She reminds me a lot of my husband." He sighed, eyes misting over with memories. "It's funny. She's lost so much, but she comforted me. Brought me out of the depression Robert's death sent me into. Gave me the hand up I needed." He elbowed Kaidan. "You do that for her, okay?"

"I'm trying, but its a fine line. I don't want to treat her like she's weak."

"I get that. And she isn't weak, she thinks she can bury everything. She really cared about Legion, and she's not dealing with it. If she doesn't come to terms with his sacrifice, then it means nothing."

"I don't think she realizes how much people care about her."

"She knows how much you care."

Kaidan smiled.

"Yeah."

"Use that to help her." Cortez pointed at Shepard, who had finally stopped kicking rocks around, and was walking towards Tali. "She's back to pretending like nothing's wrong." Putting his hand on Kaidan's shoulder, Cortez stared with a serious expression. "Acting like that is going to do serious damage. She listens to you. Talk to her."

The wind carried snippits of conversation to them, the men ceased their talking to listen in.

"Shopping for another house?" Shepard called to Tali.

"Beachfront property!"

"Claim it fast." Laughed Shepard. "Its a buyer's market."

They sat down, rustling up a small cloud of dirt as they settled.

"You okay? I know working with the Geth will be difficult." Shepard fought with her hair as the wind ruffled it.

"I'm not staying. I'm coming with you." Shepard smiled as she gave up on her hair.

"I wasn't going to ask."

"I think you've earned a few favors with the fleet." Leaning back to look up at the sky, the sunlight glinted off Tali's mask.

"I'm asking them to launch an assault on the Reapers. Figure that makes us even." Tali shrugged.

"If the Reapers were going to stay on Earth, sure. But sooner or later, they'll come for Rannoch."

"We did just kill one of them." Shepard chucked a large rock toward the Reaper's corpse.

"So I'm coming with you to stop them. If you think I can help."

"You're sure about this?"

"Yeah. I look at all this, this picture of hope and peace, and all I see is everyone I've lost. My team on Haestrom, My father, even Legion. I'm mourning a Geth! How crazy is that?"

"Its not crazy at all." Shepard turned the wrapped piece of armor over in her hands. She rocked herself onto her knees, stood up, and then helped Tali to her feet.

"It is beautiful though, isn't it."

"Yeah, it is."

"It'll be years before we can live without our suits completely, but right now... " Tali turned away from Shepard, and with a slow deliberate movement, removed her mask. "Right now I have this." Her voice sounded strange, and it took Kaidan a moment to realize there was no electronic buzz to it. _This is the first time we've ever heard her voice, as it should be. _There was a softness that the mask took away, something Kaidan knew he'd miss when she put it back on. Shepard patted her friend on the shouder, and started walking back towards the shuttle. Tali inhaled deeply, then turned while putting her mask back on. Kaidan leaned forward, and caught a glimpse of wide, thoughtful eyes before the mask sealed back into place.

As Shepard walked past the body of Legion, she paused to run her fingers gently over its head in farewell. Tali put her arm around Shepard's shoulders, and they walked back together. The women climbed onto the shuttle, and Cortez lifted it off the ground. Shepard sighed as she settled into a seat, and Kaidan took his place next to her.

As they rocketed back to the Normandy, Shepard unwrapped her precious cargo, and examined the broken armor. There was a large piece missing from under the N7.

"So it never told you why it used your armor?"

Shepard smiled sadly as she traced the jagged edge.

"He said there was a hole."

(A/N Holy shit. That was one of the hardest chapters I have ever written. Probably because I loved Legion so much. Anyway, after all that depression, I think we need a chapter that is a lot lighter. So have no fear, happy things are coming.

And (hopefully) good news! Raphael Sbarge tweeted a photo of himself going back into the studio to record for ME3! Hopefully its for the extended cut... because that might mean we get full cut scenes! And if they are recording dialog now, maybe within the month we will have a release date! *fingers crossed* Okay, going to start the next chapter now, thanks for reading!)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Shepard, when you get back to the Normandy, Admiral Hackett wants a report on the status of the Quarians and Geth." Joker's voice filled the small cabin of the shuttle. "And the Asari councilor wants a word as well."

"I have something I have to take care of first, then I'll be right up."

"Understood, Commander."

"Commander?" Cortez called from the cockpit. "The welding kit is in its usual place."

"Thanks, Steve."

They landed in silence, and as soon as the door opened, Shepard headed straight for a workbench in the corner.

"Kaidan?" She asked softly. "Can you hold this?" She unwrapped the broken piece of armor, and he took it from her gently.

"Did it look like this when Legion found it?"

She nodded, turning her attention to a blank nameplate from a large stack. _How many people were they expecting to lose? _Grimacing, Kaidan examined the chestplate. __If this is hers from when she got spaced... This must have happened when she landed. She would have been dead in an instant if it had ruptured like this during the initial explosion. No wonder she was in a coma for so long. __Shepard finished the nameplate, and quickly unclipped herself out of her armor. Taking the fragment back, she waited by the elevator for Kaidan to put his own hardsuit away.

Tali and Cortez joined them, and they headed up to the memorial wall. When they arrived, the rest of the crew was waiting for them, even Joker and EDI. Leaning heavily on the synthetic woman, Joker grimly smiled at Shepard.

"Gotta hand it to you, Commander. That's the first time I've ever seen someone end a war by yelling."

"After seeing what the Geth rebellion really looked like... I figured they deserved a chance." She handed Kaidan the armor again, and took the screwdriver Cortez offered to her.

"Thank you, Commander." EDI looked at her thoughtfully. "I doubt many organics would have trusted a synthetic race."

"And now we've got two fleets for the price of one. We didn't lose anybody!" Shepard frowned at Joker's statement, and kept working at adding Legion's name to the wall. EDI, however, turned to stare disapprovingly at her companion.

"Except Legion." Her voice was sorrowful, her eyes registering more emotion than Kaidan thought synthetics could show. "Before it sacrificed itself, Legion referred to itself as 'I' instead of 'we'."

"Yeah? So?"

"The singular pronoun indicates Legion's independent personality had fully actualized. In its last moments, it was not an avatar of the Geth consensus. It was a person."

Shepard ran her fingers across the nameplate.

"That's what I figured." She stepped back and rested her head against Kaidan.

"Well," Joker said, finally meeting EDI's gaze. "When the Geth fleet helps us retake Earth, I guess we'll owe that to... him." EDI nodded, and they headed back to the cockpit.

As the rest of the team dissipated, Shepard looked up at Kaidan.

"Can you take this upstairs and put it on my desk while I make my reports?" They got back into the elevator, and Shepard groaned as she got off at the CIC. "I'll be up in a little bit."

Kaidan reached out and gently grabbed her hand.

"Do you want me to be up there?"

"For a little bit... but I think I'll need some time..."

"I get it. Don't worry." He released her arm, and let the doors close behind her.

When he reached their cabin, he gently placed the armor on her desk, propping it up against the wall behind her small console. Looking at the rest of her desk, he gave a small smile. She had righted the photo of him, and set their shore leave photo next to it. He picked up his ID photo, studying it carefully. __I look so young... __Setting it down, stepped into the bathroom and glanced in the mirror. __Never thought I'd be going gray this early. __He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing at the flecks of silver that had started appearing at his temples.

He grabbed his datapad, sat on the couch, and flipped through the fleet reports. There was nothing new, just chatter between squads of N7 and mercenaries. The Alliance was sending in teams to secure locations and gather intel all over the galaxy, and their success rate was astonishingly high. Kaidan tried to focus on the information they were gathering, but found himself more entertained by the banter between squads; discussion of techniques and strategy, good-natured bragging and bickering, gossip about squad members and leaders. __That's what happens when you turn marines loose on the galaxy. __Kaidan smiled to himself. __Glad to see spirits are up.__

He looked up as Shepard entered, rubbing her forehead gently.

"So what's the plan, Commander?"

Shepard sighed, dropping into her desk chair. Kaidan stood up and walked up the stairs, leaning against the wall to face her.

"The Asari councilor is being cryptic. She won't tell me what she wants to talk about. At least not over the comms. We have to go back to the Citadel." She put her feet on her desk and leaned back. "But first we have to hit a refueling station. And then we have to go investigate some Asari colony that's lost contact. Its going to take us three days to get back to the Citadel."

"Seriously? Three days?"

She nodded.

"Its going to take two days just to get to that Asari colony. I thought I'd let everyone have downtime on board while we travel. Who knows when we're going to get R and R again."

"Sounds like a good idea. Everyone has a lot of tension to blow off."

Stepping up behind her, he squeezed her shoulder.

"Don't stay up here alone too long, okay?" She nodded, absently playing with a strand of hair. "I mean it, Shepard. We have two days of travel. You need to have a little fun."

"Alright." She smiled up at him. "I'll be down."

After kissing her on the forehead, he made his way down to the crew lounge. Garrus sat in the corner, looking at a datapad, and Vega was at the card table, morosely playing solitaire.

"Major! Can I interest you in a little poker?" He folded his game and started shuffling the cards. "Scars here seems to be too good for a little gambling."

"I"m reading, Vega. You should try it sometime."

Kaidan laughed, and sat down.

"Let's do this. We've got some time to kill."

"Yup. Two whole days. Plenty of time to get three sheets to the wind." The lieutenant reached under the table and pulled up a large bottle and some glasses. Pouring one full, he carefully slid it across the table to Kaidan, who examined it carefully.

"What... what is this?"

"No idea. Grabbed a few bottles of it last time I was on Omega. Figured now was as good a time as any to crack into them."

"Omega mystery alcohol." Garrus said dryly. "That's a brilliant idea."

"Hey. No playing, no comments."

Vega was just about to deal the cards out when Tali and Liara wandered into the lounge.

"Ooo, poker!" The Quarian clasped her hands and darted to the table. "I've missed that. I tried to teach people on the flotilla how to play, but it didn't really catch on."

"It's the masks. Makes it hard to bluff, remember?" Kaidan laughed. As Tali sat down, Garrus stood up from the couch and casually sauntered over. Vega folded his arms across his massive chest.

"Oh, now that Sparks wants to play, you decide to come over?"

"No, I just didn't want to play with only you."

"What about reading?"

"Overrated. Hey, Tali... I have Turian brandy... and those... um... dextro chocolates. Want me to grab them?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"Don't take too long, Scars! I'm gonna deal you in anyway!"

Shaking her head, Liara pulled up a chair next to Tali.

"This will be fun. I don't think I've played in years."

"I'll make sure to go easy on you, Doc."

Kaidan counted on his fingers.

"Scars, Sparks, Doc, Esteban, and Lola. What's with the nicknames?"

Vega shrugged.

"Sometimes names don't fit. I fix 'em so they do."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows.

"Ah. I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah. You? Major fits you just fine."

"I bet Ashley would think so." Tali added. "What did she always call you? LT? Good thing you are in the military, or people would have a hard time thinking up nicknames for you." She laughed as Kaidan raised his eyebrows at her.

"Oh don't start with the eyebrows. You've been spending too much time with Shepard."

Vega grinned as he started passing the cards out.

"What is the deal with you and Lola, anyway? I noticed you... uh... haven't been sleeping in the crew room. This a serious thing between you two?"

Kaidan felt his face go red.

"How about we talk about that after a few drinks?"

"Fine by me." Vega turned to glare at a returning Garrus. "Took you long enough! Get your spiky ass over here!"

Kaidan shifted seats, forcing Garrus to sit next to Tali. The Turian shot him a look that was a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment, and poured himself a drink. Covering her own smile with one hand, Liara sat between Tali and Vega, accepting a drink from the lieutenant with gratitude.

"It's nice getting away from my computers... and Javik... for a while."

"I didn't see him at the wall." Tali noted.

"I told him he wasn't allowed to come. He distrusted Legion. Kept telling me we should have spaced him long ago. If Shepard had heard him say that today, she probably would have punched him." She gave a short laugh. "He's much to valuable a research asset to damage. Beside, Shepard probably would have broken her fist."

"Its probably best we leave him on the engineering deck then." Said Tali, fiddling with the straw of her drink. "I've set up a small sleeping area down there... Where Jack used to stay." She nodded at Liara and Garrus. "And I have to remember not to go into the cargo holds. I don't want to deal with either of those people."

"Who's in the other cargo hold?" Kaidan scratched his head, and mentally ticked off the crew in his head. _Oh. Right. That reporter.  
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"Why did Shepard bring her along?" Garrus wondered aloud. "She never leaves that room."

"We picked her up the first time we were on the Citadel, and never had a chance to drop her off anywhere. She had said something about raising troop morale." Liara rolled her eyes.

"Heh. She raises my morale." Snickered Vega. Everyone groaned, and Liara turned to face him.

"We know. What was that charming nickname you came up with for her?"

"What? Battletits?"

Kaidan choked on his drink. The rest of the group watched with amusement as he regained his composure. He stared at the Lieutenant.

"You don't call her that to her face, do you?"

"She has a face? Hey, I'm just kidding!" Vega shrunk back under Liara's glare. "No, I don't. I try not to talk to her. At least until Shepard breaks down and orders her to put a real shirt on." He shrugged. "What? She's very distracting, and you know... jiggly!"

The game started, and after several hours and lots of alcohol, Liara was curled up on the couch, and Tali and Garrus had run out of credits, retreating to the small bar area to talk. Kaidan grinned as he watched them. Garrus had lightly put his arm on Tali's, who didn't seem to notice, or care. Vega looked at his cards, then at their friends with a scowl.

"Stupid ship's turning into the love boat. We've got Joker and his synthetic girlfriend, Team Dextro over there, those two kids in engineering, and of course, you and Lola." He sighed. "Maybe I'll find myself a pretty Asari friend at this colony we're going to."

"Probably not a good idea." Mumbled Liara, lifting her head slightly, before falling back asleep.

"Why not?"

"Its the Ardak-Yakshi monastery." Garrus answered, not looking away from Tali. "Do you even read the mission briefings?"

"What's an Ardak-Yakshi?"

"Um..." Kaidan laughed, feeling the alcohol muddling his brain. "It's like an Asari sex vampire."

Vega's eyes widened.

"Wait. Like they sex you to death?"

"Yup."

"I think I'll stay on the ship."

Kaidan laughed, and laid his cards out as the door opened and Shepard walked in.

"Got the flush."

"Mmm." Vega shook his head. "Full house. Caught it on the river."

"Shit." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, scowling as Vega collected his winnings.

"Thought you were bluffing on the flush. Good for you."

"Can it, Lieutenant." He grabbed the bottle, and poured himself another helping. Vega laughed, gesturing to his own glass.

"Yes Sir, Major Alenko, Sir."

Kaidan leaned back and smiled up at the Commander.

"Shepard, I'd deal you in, but Vega just cleaned me out." James threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Come on! That really as deep as your pockets go? No sentimental crap stowed away? No investments?"

"I got some land on the Sunshine Coast I could put up."__The cabin on the water might have escape unharmed, that area's isolated enough... and I don't think I'll want to live on Earth after all this. __

"Heh. I'll pass." He gathered up the cards, and shuffled them aimlessly, watching as Shepard sat down and poured herself a drink. "Canada does nothing for me. Too cold."

"I like Canada." Shepard sipped her drink, making a face. "Fuck, Vega, what is this?"'

"It's probably best we don't know." Kaidan clinked his glass against hers, and finished his. "That was quite the negotiation you pulled off. And having both the Geth and the Quarians on our side? That's a very good thing." Shepard put her fingers to her lips and grinned.

"No shop talk today. Not for a while, at least." She downed her drink, and poured another. "I've got catching up to do."

Tali and Garrus rejoined them, and they watched Vega unsuccessfully try to build a house of cards. His muscular hands and thick fingers were perfectly suited for life as a marine, but the delicate task of playing card architecture seemed to escape him. Shepard laughed every time the structure collapsed, and Kaidan grinned. _She really needs this. To be around people that care about her. Her crew. _He sat back in his chair, watching her attempts to sabotage Vega's tower. _She never gets to be this happy. This relaxed._

After Vega agreed to let Kaidan play on credit, the poker game continued for several more hours. The lieutenant had brought up a second bottle of alcohol, and Kaidan felt his vision start to blur. He set his cards down and laughed.

"I can't believe you did that."

Shepard looked confused.

"Did what?"

"Totally took down a Reaper." He nodded slowly at her, and she laughed.

"Yup. Sure did."

"Yes you did." Vega echoed, slapping his hand on the table.

"Hell yeah." Shepard punched the lieutenant in the arm. He rubbed it defensively, and she shrugged. "Seriously? That didn't hurt and you know it."

"You wanna dance again, Lola? You let me know when."

"Oh, I'll let you know when its gonna happen, right?"

Kaidan pushed his chair back, standing up with a wobble.

"You two dance. I think I need to lie down. I'm going to bed."

"Need a hand?" Shepard stood up quickly, catching him under the arm as he tipped forward.

"Thanks."

"Let's get you to bed, Kaidan."

Vega snickered.

"Oh, you wanna do this now, Vega?" Shepard gently leaned Kaidan against the wall, and grabbed the Lieutenant by the shirt, as she had when they fled Earth. "Remember how I took you down after Mars? You boxed with the marines? I learned it on the street. On the street!" She stood for a moment, swaying slightly, before collapsing to the floor in laughter. "On the street." Tali and Garrus watched with tilted heads. Liara rolled over in her sleep, and one arm flung off the edge of the couch. Shepard poked it curiously. "She's so... blue."

"Lola, you are one drunk motherfucker." Vega picked her up off the floor and gently pushed her towards Kaidan. "Take your Major, and get some sleep." He grinned at Kaidan. "It's a serious thing, isn't it?"

"Yup." Wrapping one arm around Shepard, he saluted Vega with the other. "Lieutenant."

"Major."

They stumbled towards the elevator, practically falling over each other as they made their way in.

"Am I holding you up..." Kaidan mumbled. "Or is it the other way around?"

"I have no idea." Shepard started laughing again as they stepped into their cabin, an uncontrollable giggle that made Kaidan look at her differently. For a moment he saw it in her face, who she would have been if she had grown up with a normal family, hadn't joined the military, wasn't weighed down with the fate of the galaxy. Someone who hadn't seen friends and comrades die in front of her, and come within heartbeats of dying herself too many times to count. _She doesn't get to sleep just yet. _He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up off the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"Being forceful."

"Why?" She cocked her head at him as he carefully carried her down the stairs.

"Because I don't think you'll let me do it again." He dropped her on the bed, then followed, catching himself with his elbows, but still letting most of his weight press against her. She sighed, and threw her arms around his neck.

"Just this once, unless I like it." She grinned madly, then pulled him down into a kiss.

Kaidan let himself go, let his concerns about their rank and past disappear. _Right now, she isn't Commander Shepard. We aren't at war. We haven't lost everything. Right now, she's just my girl. Future wife. Gonna have my kids. And e__verything is going to turn out okay. _He leaned back onto his knees, bringing Shepard back with him. Pulling his shirt off over his head, he threw it aside before quickly removing hers and letting her fall backwards.

"Hey." He said, slowly walking his hands back up towards her shoulders. She shivered as their bare skin made contact. Her warmth sank into him, he could practically feel it in his bones.

"Hi." She stretched up and kissed him on the forehead as he leaned over her. Running his fingers through her hair, he tightened his grip, not wanting to let go. He kissed her fiercely, and gave up thinking all together, letting her fill his mind.

Three hours later, he woke to the sound of Shepard swearing.

"Shepard?" He rolled onto his side, feeling the empty side of the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I... ow... have work to do." She was silhouetted by the fish tank, rubbing her shin. Her hair was wild from restless sleep. "Got... reports and stuff."

"Come back to bed, you're still drunk."

"Nope. Reports. People are counting on me."

"Do I need to make you come back to bed?"

She spun to face him, steadying herself on the wall.

"You wouldn't dare."

Flaring his biotics around his hand, he beckoned her back towards the bed.

"Come back to sleep, Shepard."

"But I've got to-"

He reached out, letting the blue lightning surround her. He gave his hand a lazy wave, and she lifted off the floor and drifted towards him, landing gently in his arms. He grinned, and smoothed her hair down. Using his biotics again, he pulling the blankets up over her shoulders.

"Show off." She muttered into her pillow. "I can't believe you did that."

"You need to sleep, Love. I'm not letting you leave this bed."

She yawned, stretching her arms out over her head.

"I still have work to do. The crew depends on me. I have duties. There's protocol and stuff."

"Shepard, you just spend four hours playing drunk poker. Protocol doesn't really exist on this ship any more." He sighed, his tired brain trying to get his thoughts out coherently. "I mean, there is, obviously nothing would get done if we didn't have any rules. But this ship, these people, we're beyond crew now. It's the end of the galaxy, and this is our family. They care about you, more than they should for a commanding officer. And you care about them too. You know I'm right." He rolled her over, leaning down to softly bump his forehead against hers. "That's why losing people is starting to hurt so badly."

"Every mission." She inhaled sharply. "Every damn major mission since we left Earth... I've let someone die." She reached up, running her hand across his face. "Or they've come close."

He kissed her fingertips gently.

"Yeah, I came pretty close there, didn't I? And as much as I hate to say it, it's the risk of our line of work. There is a huge chance that every day will be our last. On some level, everyone involved knows it." He laced his fingers through hers. "But you haven't let anyone die. Thane knew he was dying anyway, and used his last strength to save the Salarian councilor. Garrus told me about Mordin Solus, too. That he knew exactly what he was doing. Knew it was the only way to cure the genophage. And Legion... It..." He shook his head. "He. His death gave the Geth freedom. They all did what they had to do. But... there's something else. You aren't just sad." He frowned down at her, studying her face. The copious amounts of alcohol had lowered her guard, and he saw something in her eyes he had never seen before. "You're afraid. You don't think we can pull this off."

"I'm not afraid... not yet.. It's just..." She whispered, as if she didn't want to say it. "I'm just starting to wonder how its all going to end. I know the risks, I know this is the life I chose. So many people have made the sacrifice to get us here... But when it comes down to the end, will I have to?"

Kaidan hugged her tightly against his bare chest, feeling her heart pounding against his skin.

"That's not going to happen. We're going to finish gathering our army, and you're going to lead the charge, with me right behind you. The Reapers will be destroyed, and we're going to retire to a nice colony and raise a family. I'll even get you some goats."

She laughed, and he felt her relax in his arms.

"Alright then..." She curled up against him, nestling her head against his chest. As he felt her drifting off to sleep, a terrible thought started growing in the back of her mind._ What if she's right? What if going back to Earth ends up being a one way trip? I know she doesn't want to die, but if its the only way to destroy the Reapers, she'll do it without ever looking back. She's a soldier to her core._ Brushing hair away from her face, he smiled sadly. The worried frown had returned, all traces of the carefree woman he had glimpsed early had vanished. Commander Shepard slept in the arms of her Major, and all they could do now was brace themselves in the dark against whatever was coming.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_Waking up next to Shepard might be one of the best things in the galaxy._ Kaidan grinned to himself as he looked over at her curled up next to him. _Not the best thing... but it's right up there on the list. _He took the quiet opportunity to gently run his fingers across her skin, discovering the fresh scars and migrated freckles of her new skin. She shivered under his touch, and her eyes opened slowly.

'Hey." She rubbed her eyes, and groaned. "Promise me something?"

"What do you need?"

"Don't let me drink anything Vega brings on board. Ever. Again." She yawned, gingerly stretching her arms out as she rolled onto her back. "Between whatever that was, and your creative use of biotics last night, I'm beat."

Kaidan laughed, and brushed her hair out of her face.

"I'll only do that again if you refuse to get back into bed."

"Bully." She punched him lightly in the chest and sighed. "Are biotic powers genetic in humans?" _Wait, what? She's not..._ He gently rested his fingers on her bare stomach, trying to keep his voice level.

"Is this an... urgent question?"

"What? Oh, no. The Alliance makes sure that doesn't happen. I was just curious." She grinned. "You should've seen the look on your face. You looked excited and terrified at the same time."

"Well, you know that what I want... but now's... not really the best time. Full scale galactic war and all that." He sighed. "But yeah, I'm honestly not sure. There's probably a good chance our kids will be biotics, We'll just have to see."

"I guess we'll find out." She laced her fingers through his. "That's so what I need. Little biotic terrors."

"Face it, Shepard, any children of yours are bound to be terrors. The biotics will just... enhance the experience." She groaned again.

"Great." She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows. "Maybe they'll add a bit more gray here for you." Self consciously, Kaidan ran his finger through his hair and made a face. "Hey, I like it. Makes you look distinguished." She grabbed a strand of her own short hair and examined it with crossed eyes. "Surprised I don't have any yet."

"I'm surprised we're all not gray at this point. Huh. I wonder what the Turian equivalent to gray hair is."

"No idea. Why don't you ask Garrus sometime?"

"Maybe later. I'm going to take a shower." She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly. "That is, Major, if I have your permission to leave the bed."

Kaidan pretended to think for a moment, mulling the thought over in his head. _Should I keep her here a bit longer? Nah, I'm pretty hungry. _He grinned at her, and gave her a salute.

"Permission granted, Commander. At ease."

She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss before scooting to the edge of the bed and heading to the shower.

After he got dressed, Kaidan made his way down to the mess hall for coffee. His fellow crew members were there, all looking worse for wear, except for Vega, who was cheerfully cooking eggs and whistling.

"Morning, Major! You up for some huevos rancheros?"

Nodding, Kaidan grabbed a mug of coffee and walked over to Garrus, who sat at the large table.

"How long has he been up?"

"Hours. Cortez says when he went down to the hanger deck to grab his datapad, Vega was already working out."

"That guy's a machine." Kaidan sat down next to his Turian friend, and Tali moaned.

"Please don't shake the table." She was leaning forward, her head in her hands. Liara sat beside her, resting a sympathetic hand on her friend's back.

"We don't want her to be sick. There isn't time or proper facilities to clean and disinfect her helmet."

"Major, eggs are up!" Vega called, and Kaidan got up to retrieve his plate. Behind him, the quiet conversation at the table halted. Turning slowly, he saw Javik leaning against the wall, staring disapprovingly at the squad. The Prothean shook his head slowly.

"Pathetic. If you had lived in the Prothean era, this whole squad would have been put to death for your behavior."

"Good thing it's my ship then." Shepard appeared from around a corner, her hair still damp from her shower. "I don't mind the crew cutting loose when we have the time, Javik. But now we have twenty hours till this colony. I want everyone to be productive, then get a good night's sleep."

She sat down next to Kaidan, ignoring Javik's scornful scoffing.

"Commander, eggs?" Vega called from the kitchen.

"Thanks, James." She nodded at him, then turned back to the table. "So here's the rest of the mission rundown. The colony sent out a distress signal a few days ago, and the Asari high command has sent in several teams of commandos. None have returned, or made contact."

"So naturally when something goes wrong, they call us in." Garrus sighed.

"Don't worry, Vakarian, you don't have to go on this one." Shepard grinned as Vega brought two plates over and sat down, sliding one across the table to her. "Since we'll probably be dealing with Asari, I want my biotics on this. Liara, you and Kaidan make sure you're all warmed up and ready to go."

She attacked her food with vigor as Kaidan finished his. _I should grab more food if I'm going to be using my biotics in combat tomorrow. _He thought back to their mission on Noveria three years ago, when a surprise attack had forced him to use all his strength in one go. _I doubt there will be a place at this colony for us to rest for thirty minutes__. I need to build up a reserve. _Looking over at the cabinet where the energy bars were stored, he was half tempted to open it with his powers, and pull several of the bars over. _Well that would just be stupid, and a waste of energy.  
><em>

Sighing at himself, he stood up and walked over to the cabinet.

"Hey, Liara, do you want a few?" The Asari made a face, but nodded.

"Goddess, those things are disgusting." She accepted the handful of bars anyway. "If we ever stop on Thessia, I'll take you to my favorite restaurant. Since all Asari are biotics, all the cuisine is geared towards higher metabolisms. They make this wonderful noodle dish I haven't had since..." She paused, noticing Shepard's raised eyebrows. "Well, of course you'll come too, Shepard! I wasn't asking... I didn't mean... Oh." She gave up, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Shepard burst out laughing.

"Liara, you may be the Shadow Broker, but you still can't handle a bit of teasing." Finishing her food, She stood up from the table and dropped her dishes in the small sink. "Thanks for cooking, James. When you're done eating, meet me down on the flight deck."

"You need another dancing lesson, Lola? Give me an hour, then you're on." She grinned and nodded, before disappearing into the elevator. Everyone went back to eating, trying at avoid looking at Javik as he continued to glare at them. Eventually, Kaidan had enough of the uncomfortable silence, and made his way down to the engineering deck. His omnitool was lagging a bit, and he wanted the chief engineer to take a look at it.

Adams greeted his arrival with a salute and a warm smile.

"Lieuten- Major Alenko! It's good to see you." Kaidan saluted back, and the men relaxed. "I haven't seen you since right after the SR1 went down." Kaidan frowned. He didn't remember seeing Adams after the crash at all. Adams smile faded. "At Shepard's... service. I doubt you saw me, you were pretty out of it."

"Yeah. That was... a rough day."

They stood awkwardly until someone in the corner gave a polite cough. Kaidan looked up to see two engineers leaning against a work station.

"Ah, yes. Major Alenko, have you had a chance to meet our Cerberus refugees?"

"Hey now." The red headed man said with a thick Scottish accent. "We were with the Alliance before Cerberus. We just went to follow Shepard. And so here we are again."

The dark haired woman beside him nodded.

"Once Shepard busted us out of prison, that is."

"Legally, of course."

"Of course, Gabby. That was implied."

"Well, maybe you should have said it, instead of implying it. I mean, she did break Jack out of prison, for real."

"True."

Adams sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Major Alenko, these are my headaches, Gabriella Daniels and Kenneth Donnelly." They saluted, and went back to work on the drive core, bickering quietly. _These must be the two that Vega was complaining about last night._ He laughed, and went about showing Adams the issue with his omnitool.

The problem was more deeply rooted in the coding then Kaidan had originally anticipated, and it took him and Adams three hours to sort it out. It eventually took a recovered Tali's expertise to find and fix the problem.

"Didn't I say you should have gotten a Nexus?" She teased, rebooting his system.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He shook his head at her. "Thanks, anyway."

"No problem." She headed into the drive core, and booted up another terminal. Kaidan thanked Adams, and headed back towards the elevator. Entering the hallway, he ran into the short form of Diana Allers, the reporter that had hitched a ride with them.

"Major Alenko." She said with dull surprise. "Just the person I was looking for."

"Really?"

"Yes. I was hoping to get in an interview with you at some point."

He sighed, and folded his arms across his chest. _I really don't want to talk to this woman. _

"Major, you have a very unique view of this war. You're the second human Spectre, an L2 biotic, a decorated Alliance officer, and you've been working with Shepard since the incident on Eden Prime." She gave him a sly smile. "Not to mention the rumors of your personal involvement with the Commander."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes at her, and she flinched slightly.

"My private life, Miss Allers, does not leave this ship."

"Right. I'll make a note of that." He glared at her. "Or... not. So, can we talk later?"

"Later."

He stepped into the elevator, and hit the button for the flight deck. _Something about her rubs me the wrong way. And Vega's right, she does need a proper shirt._

The lift doors opened to blaring music. Vega and Shepard were sparring in the middle of the hanger, while Cortez sat in the open door of the shuttle, watching with amusement. Kaidan joined him, sitting as they had on Rannoch.

"How's she doing?" He asked the pilot, who laughed.

"She's making him work. Vega may be a huge slab of muscle, but Shepard's quick. She keeps using his strength against him."

As if to demonstrate, Shepard ducked under Vega's arm and came up behind him, tapping him lightly on the back of the head. The Lieutenant threw his arms down in annoyance.

"Hey now, Lola. None of your dirty street rat techniques, remember? This is straight up boxing."

She rolled her eyes with a grin.

"How do you expect to beat me if you don't fight dirty, Vega?" She dodged a punch. "Besides, I heard your brawl on Omega was plenty dirty."

"That was different." He protested. "That was a bar brawl. There are different rules."

"So the Reapers are going to uphold the gentlemanly rules of fisticuffs? Come on, James, muddy things up a bit."

The large man grunted and charged her, his giant arms wrapping around her torso as he tackled her to the ground. She struggled to get up, but Vega leaned forward on her arms, pinning her.

"How's that, Lola?"

She nodded, clearly out of breath. He stood, and offered his hand, pulling her up like her weight didn't matter at all. Kaidan and Cotrez clapped.

"Why Mr. Vega, I do believe that's the first time I've seen you beat the Commander."

"Glad I meet with your approval, Esteban." Vega shuffled awkwardly when he noticed Kaidan. "Major."

"Nicely done, Lieutenant." Kaidan laughed, and Shepard wrinkled her nose at him.

"You want to talk about dirty bar brawlers? Ask the Major about his biotic wall of broken glass technique." She grinned, walking over to lean against the shuttle. "Alright, I think I'm done for the day. I have some reports to go over, then we all need to get some rest before we hit the colony." She grabbed a small towel from Vega and wrapped it around her neck before heading to the elevator.

"Wall of broken glass, eh?" Vega nodded approvingly as he hung up a punching bag. "Hey, Major, you want to go a few round?"

"With you or the bag?" He sighed. "I'm not much of a boxer. Never really had to do much hand to hand. Perks of being a biotic, I guess."

"One day, you might need it. Come on over, I'll show you some techniques." Vega laughed. "Esteban will really enjoy the show today."

"Ha. Ha." Cortez said, but made no motion to leave his seat. "Don't mind me, Major."

"You're fine. Just don't laugh at how embarrassing this is for me."

It wasn't too embarrassing. Vega was a good teacher, patient and knowledgeable, and after a few hours with the punching bag, Kaidan's arms felt like they were on fire. He stepped away, wiping his forehead.

"I should go get some rest, if I want to be able to use my arms tomorrow."

"Good plan, Major." Vega slapped him on the back. "We'll make a boxer out of you yet."

Kaidan took the elevator up to the cabin, and looked longingly at the bed.

"Are you all sweaty?" Shepard said suspiciously, turning in her desk chair to look at him. "Yeah, you are not getting into bed like that. Hit the showers, Major."

Kaidan showered as quickly as possible, then dragged himself towards the bed. As he passed Shepard, he took note of the datapads strewn around her, and the look of intense concentration on her face. He flopped face down onto the bed, and pulled the blankets up around him.

"Shepard?" He muttered into the pillow.

"Hmm?"

"Make sure you get some sleep too, okay?"

"Sure, Kaidan."

He was so exhausted, he barely reacted when she curled up with him an hour later, and he didn't notice at all when she left shortly after that. A soft beeping noise woke him several hours later, Shepard had set an alarm for him. He pushed himself up carefully, his arms were sore, but it was the dull ache of a good workout, and didn't bother him. Shepard was gone, her datapads still spread out across her desk. Kaidan peered at the curiously, troop movements, morale reports, progress on the Crucible. He flipped through correspondences from allies, Wrex, Jack, Jacob, and some people named Kasumi and Zaeed. One report caught his eye, and he picked the datapad up, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. The Reapers had taken Terra Nova. Sinking into the desk chair, he grabbed his own datapad, and brought up his inbox.

"Subject: no subject.

Kaidan.

We're okay, and going underground. The Reapers are occupying, but not destroying. A Resistance movement is forming, but whatever you're doing, hurry.

-Troy."

He sighed, switching his datapad for the one with the report. The Alliance and Reapers were at a standstill on the colony planet, as if each were waiting for the other to make a move. _At least Stevens and Elsa are alright._ He glanced up at the clock. _Time to suit up. _He grabbed some protein bars off the desk, and headed down to the flight deck.

When he arrived, Shepard was clipping a protesting Liara into a set of armor.

"I really feel the suit restricts my movement, Shepard. My barriers should be protection enough."

"Nope." Shepard said, grunting as she tightened the chestplate. "We're going to deal with something that's taken out several squads of commandos. We are not taking any chances." She nodded at Kaidan, who started putting on his own armor. _Damn, if Shepard's worried, then t__his mission is going to be a bitch. _

The squad climbed onto the shuttle, and Kaidan ate one of his bar in silence. Waiting for the all clear to depart, he listen to Liara argue with Shepard.

"Remember what I was wearing when we faced the Shadow Broker? A jacket. A nice, tailored, expensive jacket. Not armor."

Shepard rolled her eyes.

"We were in a hurry. If we hadn't had to chase Vasir through Illium rush hour, then maybe we could have stopped off to grab you some proper armor."

Kaidan frowned. When he had been made a Spectre, he had flipped through Shepard's files, and there had been a brief report about her fight with the rogue Asari Spectre. There had been no mention of a chase, though.

"Wait, what did you chase her through traffic with?"

"A cab." Liara shuddered, Kaidan sympathized.

"I'm guessing Shepard drove?"

"Never again." The Asari shook her head. "I would like to live to see my Matriarch years."

Shepard glared at her, then took a seat next to Kaidan as the shuttle left the Normandy. She grabbed two protein bars from him, and tossed one to Liara, before unwrapping her own.

Once they broke the planet's atmosphere, Shepard scrolled through the mission information on her omnitool.

"So, you've never been here before?"

Liara looked out the small shuttle window. "Never. But I understand why Asari high command wanted to keep this mission a secret from the rest of the council. They don't like to acknowledge the Ardat-Yakshi."

"After meeting Morinth, I can understand why." Shepard absently played with a strand of hair, as Liara shook her head. _Do I know about Morinth? _Kaidan racked his brain for any mention of Shepard tangling with an Ardat-Yakshi, and came up empty.

"Morinth chose to be a killer. These Ardat-Yakshi chose to isolate themselves to avoid that." She sighed. "But it doesn't mean they're harmless. Their urge to feed can be powerful. That's why high command sent in commandos to investigate the mysterious distress signal." _Urge to feed? Maybe I should have stayed on the ship with Vega._

"That doesn't sound good." He ventured. "Do we know what their orders were?"

"If there was a chance the Ardat-Yakshi could break loose..." Liara looked guilty, perhaps on behalf of her species. "The commandos were to purge the monastery."

"Purge? You mean destroy." Shepard tucked the stray strand of hair behind her ear, and leaned forward.

"They would have brought heavy explosives with them, yes."

"Morinth was dangerous, but are the Ardat-Yakshi this big of a threat?"

"Morinth was just hitting her stride. Ardat-Yakshi who kill leave behind astronomical body counts. It's why they can never be free, and why they're such a great source of shame for the Asari." Liara sighed again. "That's why high command won't rest until this place is destroyed. They'd never risk a single Ardat-Yakshi getting loose."

"Don't assume anything. Maybe the Ardat-Yakshi sent out the distress call." _It's amazing how she still finds ways to think the best of people, even after practically everyone in the galaxy has tried to kill her. "_If the Asari want us to destroy this place, I need to know what happened."

"Agreed. Once we give a report to high command, they'll stop wasting lives here."

Shepard rubbed her hands together.

"Okay, so we're going to investigate a place that's wiped out several squads of elite soldiers, and has freaked out an entire colony of Asari with magnified biotics." She bit her lip, and Kaidan leaned back, trying to remember everything he had read about the Ardat-Yakshi.

"Magnified biotics, hey? Great." He turned to Shepard. "What's our strategy?"

She grinned nervously.

"Don't die?"

Cortez landed the shuttle, and they stepped off into a large courtyard. Snow drifted down gently, adding an extra hush to the already ominous silence. Kaidan shivered.

"Mom was right. I should have brought a sweater."

Shepard snickered, then put her hand over her mouth. There was a distant crashing noise from inside the monastery, killing the brief moment of levity. Kaidan looked around, noticing a second shuttle not too far away. Approaching it, he watched snowflakes melt instantly as they landed on the hood. He placed his hand gently on the shuttle, feeling heat through his gloves.

"Hey, this other shuttle is still warm. Looks like we aren't too far behind the commandos."

"Nice." Shepard nodded, an grim smile on her face. They followed Liara, who was already standing at the open door, staring down a large empty shaft.

"The elevator is disabled." She called back to them. "To prevent entry or escape, I wonder."

Shepard grabbed a ladder, and slid down to the lower level. Kaidan followed, with Liara right behind. The power was out in the building, so they clicked on the lights attached to their sidearms. Scanning the small hallway, they made their way carefully to the entrance hall. Just as Liara shone her light into the next room, a bloodcurdling scream echoed through the building. Shepard's face, already washed out from the flashlight, drained of color.

"Okay, what the hell was that?" Kaidan said, grabbing Shepard's arm and backing up against the wall. Liara joined them, her blue eyes wide with fear.

"Not an Asari..."

Whatever terrible creature was out there screamed again, and was answered by a chorus of others. The noise was a higher pitch than anything Kaidan had ever heard before, and it chilled him to the bone.

"Whatever it is, there's more than one." He hissed. Shepard holstered her side arm, and unclipped her assault rifle. Flipping on its light, she set her jaw with determination.

"Right. Whatever they are, let's go rid the universe of them." She took a deep breath, and they stepped forward into the darkness.

(A/N just saying a quick thank you to everyone still reading, and thank you for the lovely reviews! Don't worry, I will keep writing, I have a very clear idea of where I want this to go, I just need a little more information from the wonderful people at Bioware as to how to get there! (Hurry up, extended cut!) Anyway... again, thanks for reading, I love all of you!

And an extra hello to the people who have found me on tumblr! It's really fun to meet you guys!

Right. Onwards to the next chapter!)

(Also, does anyone actually know if biotics are genetic in humans? I think Kaidan's part of the first generation of human biotics, but I couldn't find any info on the genetic aspect. If anyone's seen anything, you should totally message me. Otherwise, I'm just going to assume they are. hahaha)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

In the crushing blackness of the monastery, the squad moved slowly, their small lights scanning their surroundings as they made their way into a large room. Several distant crashing noises made them jump, and Kaidan gritted his teeth. __I hate not being able to see where I'm going. I just have to keep Shepard close, make sure we don't get separated.__

"Okay..." Shepard hissed. "Stay sharp everyone." Following close behind her, Kaidan focused on the sound of her breathing, a constant reminded of her presence in the darkness. He was concentrating so much on keeping her within earshot that he didn't notice an overturned chair in his way. Shepard spun around as he stumbled, her light shining back at him.

"I heard something!"

"I... uh... tripped. Sorry." He held up his hand to both block the light from his eyes, and as an apology. She smiled with relief, then turned back away from him. Shaking his head, Kaidan made sure to include the floor in his sweeps with the light.

After five minutes of fumbling in the darkness, he heard Shepard breath in sharply. He and Liara came up beside her, and found the mutilated corpse of a Batarian Reaper husk. They stared at it in horror, their wavering lights giving it the illusion of movement.

"I guess we know what the commandos were fighting now." Liara said sadly, as Shepard nudged the Reaper with her foot.

"Wait... Let me run through the husks we know about. There are Human husks, and these ones... the N7 squads call them Cannibals. Then there are the Rachni Ravagers, Turian Marauders, and the Turian-Krogan Brutes." She raised her eyebrows at Kaidan's expression. "Oh yeah, be glad you haven't seen those yet."

"There are the big flying Harvesters... I don't even want to know what those used to be." Liara sighed.

"And then the Scions and the Praetorians, but I've not seen any of them in a while. With any luck, we might have wiped them out with the Collectors." She shuddered with the memory, and stepped away from the Cannibal. "I've seen a lot of these fuckers, but nothing I've encountered has ever made that screaming noise."

"Well, we're going to find out, one way or another." Kaidan put his hand on her arm, and she placed her hand on his and squeezed. He knew she couldn't feel his warmth through gloves and armor, but the sentiment was the same. A few feet away, Liara groaned. Her light shined down on the crumpled body of an Asari commando. As she and Shepard knelt and investigated the corpse, Kaidan scanned the nearby ground with his light. A datapad lay a few feet away from the dead commando, and he picked it up to check the files.

"This was the commando's captain." Liara said sadly. "It seems they gave their lives fighting the Reapers."

"This monastery is out of the way. What do the Reapers want with Ardat-Yakshi?" Shepard's voice trailed off, as if a thought was forming. She shook her head with a worried expression on her face, and turned to look up at Kaidan. "Anything useful?"

"Its a floor plan, and there's a navpoint location marked." He pointed to the small blinking dot. "Probably where the bomb is. Looks like it's in the monastery's great hall."

"So the commando's started the purge after all." There was dismay in Liara's voice, as if she regretted the actions of her species.

"Ardat-Yakshi or not, evacuating this place would have saved a lot of lives." Shepard sighed as she stood up. "If there are no survivors, lets get to the great hall and set off that bomb."

As if they knew they were being discussed, the unknown creature's screams echoed through the large room again. Shepard froze, then slid across a small barrier and through an open door as the roar of a cannibal answered the screams. Kaidan and Liara scrambled over the small wall, and followed Shepard to a railing. She was leaning against it, her rifle aimed, but not firing. Peering over the edge, Kaidan saw the Cannibal suspended in a biotic bubble. Two shots to the head killed it, and the barrier collapsed, sending it crashing to the floor.

"The commandos?" Kaidan whispered. Shepard shook her head.

"I don't think so..."

From under where they stood, a tall, statuesque Asari walked up to the Cannibal, then turned to look up at the squad.

"Very good. I almost didn't hear you."

"Samara?" Shepard's jaw was practically on the ground. The woman nodded.

"It has been some time, Shepard. You are a most welcome sight. The corruption here runs deep." She sighed deeply, and looked around. As she turned, Kaidan couldn't help but notice her clothing. Or lack of. __Vega might be sad he stayed behind after all___. _He tore his eyes away from the Asari's exposed cleavage, and looked hurriedly at Shepard.

"You know each other? That's wild." She gave him a confused look, and shrugged. Liara leaned over the railing, a knowing expression on her face.

"I assume you're on your own, Justicar. Perhaps for something... special?" __A Justicar? I've only read about them... Damn. That woman has got to be really old, and really powerful.__

"You are correct. Two of my daughters live here, and I have come for them. Unfortunately, the Reapers had already infested this place by the time I arrived."

"You met me hunting down your other Ardat-Yakshi daughter." Shepard shifted her weight, and adjusted the grip on her rifle. __Wait, what? Just how many things did she do last year that I don't know about? __"Are these ones just as dangerous?" Samara shook her head, and continued to scan the area.

"Falare and Rila have followed the monastery's rules ever since they arrived. They've shown no inclination toward violence."

"And you're here to save them."

"They are my responsibility. And it's one that cannot be abandoned, even as our galaxy crumbles."

"Let's go together. Maybe your daughters can tell us why the Reapers hit this place."

Shepard gestured with her rifle to the set of stairs behind Samara, and the Asari turned to look.

"I suspect they will have much to tell us. It has been centuries since I last saw them." Her head jerked up as a scream, closer than before, tore through the room. Kaidan twitched as the sound hit pitches no creature should be able to make. "We're out of time!" Samara flared her biotics out in a large surge, and strode out of sight. "We'll meet again. I will draw these creatures off!"

"Wait!" Shepard called after her, but she was already gone. "Dammit. Let's go."

They took off after the Justicar, but their way through was blocked by a locked door. Shepard groaned, but Kaidan studied the door carefully.

"I can get this open, just give me a minute." He set to work with his omnitool, bypassing the system locks. Behind him, Shepard and Liara were discussing the body of a commando they had found tucked in a corner.

"Wait, there's some kind of recording on her datapad." Liara was saying. "Maybe it'll tell us what's happening here."

Kaidan finished hacking through the door's security, and turned to face the squad as Liara held the datapad. The recording started with a fit of coughing, and Shepard bit her lip as she listened.

"My name is Tashya Porae. I'm wounded. Bad. Give this to my bondmate, Weshra. Asked her to go to the Citadel. Tell Weshra I love her. Tell her... sorry we fought. I was an idiot. Didn't mean any of it, Weshra. Want you to have everything of mine, okay? Love you. I love you so..." There was a rasping gasp, then silence. Kaidan felt his heart drop into his stomach as he looked at Shepard. She stared back at him, a terrible expression on her face.

"Kaidan. If... I..." She swallowed and looked away. "'Never mind. I'll... tell you later." She strode past him, tucking the datapad into a pouch, and purposely avoiding his gaze. Liara shrugged, and they followed her through the once last glance at the dead Asari, Kaidan shook his head.

"It doesn't feel right, seeing dead soldiers in a monastery."

"The Reapers don't care where they kill us." Liara said bitterly.

"No, but Asari High Command could have evacuated people before it came to that. I don't like the feeling we're doing their dirty work."

"But we need them on our side." Shepard sighed, and opened another door, exposing the squad to the chill of an outdoor courtyard.

"Well, Asari Command owes ups big time for this."

"Agreed."

They made their way down a long staircase, and Kaidan whistled. The courtyard had an impressive view of a nearby mountain range, all sharp peaks and deep valleys. He felt a sudden rush of homesickness, remembering family trips to the mountains outside Vancouver. __Push it away. It's all gone now.__He caught up with Shepard and Liara as they took cover behind a large planter.

"I thought I heard something." Shepard hissed, checking the heat sink on her rifle. They waited, and for a moment the only sound was the wind whipping past them. Then the doors they had come through slammed open, and the unnatural scream echoed around them.

"What the hell is that?" Kaidan yelled, as a glowing figure stepped onto the landing. It looked like an Asari that someone had stretched out, too tall, too skinny... It flashed its biotics, and surged towards them.

"Holy shit! Move move move!" Shepard screamed, and the squad scattered as the huskified Asari rocketed towards them. Turning slowly to stare at Shepard, the creature arched its back and screamed, sending out a wave of energy that rippled across the ground. Shepard braced herself against a bench and fired her rifle at it, before yelling with frustration.

"Kaidan, take down its barrier! I can't do anything while it's got shields up!"

Adjusting his omnitool, Kaidan sent out a burst of energy, which took down the Asari's barrier, but also attracted its attention.

"Fuck." He muttered, and dove out of the way as it started moving towards him. Shepard continued to fire at it, while Liara tried to hold it still with a barrier. The creature struggled, pushing its way through its glowing bonds as it refocused its attention on the Commander. Kaidan pushed his own power out, doubling the strength of the barrier. Shepard steadied her feet, and fired until her heat sink was depleted. The distorted Asari screamed one last time, collapsed into a heap and crumbled into dust.

"That... used to be a person." Liara stammered. "An Asari." She looked back at Shepard, a haunted expression on her face. "What have the Reapers done?"

Shepard took her friend's arm, and gently led her away.

"I don't know. But we're going to stop it."

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully, watching the wind catch the dust and carried out towards the mountains.

"When I was at brain camp, there was this Irish kid who used to tell us the stories his grandmother had told him. One of them was about the Banshees."

"Banshee?" Liara repeated, letting the unfamiliar word roll around in her mouth.

"Yeah. A spirit, who would wail and scream in the woods if someone was about to die." He shivered, thinking about the Asari husk's unnatural cry, and the dead commandos. "As good a name for these things as any, don't you think?"

Shepard nodded.

"Better than my idea of scary ass screaming hell bitches." She rubbed her forehead. "Shorter, too."

As they entered back into the building, the sound of running feet set them on alert, and a blue woman rounded the corner, scrambling to regain her balance. The Asari ran past without seeing the squad, her attention focused on escaping the Cannibal that pursued her. She skidded to a halt as a second figure dropped down from above her and destroyed the Cannibal with a surge of biotics.

"Mother?" The younger Asari practically sobbed with relief. "You came!"

"As soon as I was able." Samara smiled at her daughter, and turned to the squad. "Shepard, this is Falare, my youngest. She and her sister Rila are Ardat-Yakshi. They-"

"Mother!" Falare interrupted with a desperate cry. "They have Rila!"

"What?" Samara's attention snapped away from Shepard.

"I saw some of those creatures take her into the Great Hall. I've been trying to get there."

"What are the Reapers doing here?" Shepard asked delicately.

"Harvesting us. They're turning us into... into those... Monsters." She shuddered. "Please. You can't let that happen to Rila."

"The Asari thought the Ardat-Yakshi were to blame for the attack." Shepard ran a hand through her hair. Falare threw her hands up in the air with frustration.

"This is our home! Most of us are grateful to be here. The monastery is a place Ardat-Yakshi can achieve peace."

"Falare speaks truthfully, Shepard. I vouch for her words, with pride." Samara bowed her head slightly. Shepard grimaced.

"Then we have to find Rila fast. The Great Hall has a bomb in it."

"A bomb? Didn't you come to rescue people?" There was uncertainty in Falare's voice.

"We'll try, but we can't leave this place standing, Falare." Shepard shook her head sadly, but Falare turned away from her.

"You sound like the commandos, and they didn't stop to help anyone."

"Falare..." __That's definitely a mother's tone of voice.__

"I'm sorry." Falare didn't look back, but stepped over the edge of a railing, and used her biotics to slowly lower herself down to the next level.

"Falare!" Samara called after her. "The Great Hall. She's looking for Rila."

The justicar flared her own powers, and followed her daughter.

"We'll meet you there."

"Please be swift."

Shepard groaned, looking down over the railing as the Asari walked out of sight.

"You two don't know how to do that, do you?"

Kaidan looked at Liara, and they both shrugged.

"I admit, I tried when I was younger." Liara looked embarrassed. "I only succeeded to injure my leg."

"Yeah." Kaidan nodded. "Definitely not something they taught us to do at brain camp. Sorry, Commander."

"It's okay. I guess we're taking the long way around." She jogged to the end of the walkway, and unsuccessfully tried to open the doors. Kaidan followed, and examined the control panel.

"It's been completely fried, and it's beyond anything I can repair. You'd need a crowbar to pry those doors open."

Liara sighed wistfully, glancing around the large room as they found the stairs.

"This place was beautiful before the Reapers came."

They were halfway down the large staircase when several guttural roars tore through the silence.

"Dammit." Shepard groaned, taking cover. "Okay, Cannibals, we can deal with-" She made a face as a scream interrupted her. "Great. Right, I'll handle the Cannibals, you guys try and take her down."

Shepard burst out of cover, and took off for the far side of the room. Kaidan and Liara picked off the few creatures they could spot from their cover, and slowly crept along the wall.

"Why are we moving towards the screams?" Liara hissed at him.

"We don't want it jumping around like the other one did." Kaidan whispered back, straining to make himself heard over Shepard and the Cannibals trading gunfire. "If we can trap it while it's still coming into the room, it can't get to Shepard."

She nodded, and they took cover again as the Banshee slunk through a nearby door, scanning the room with a distorted face. Liara gasped as they studied it, and Kaidan remembered the first time he has seen a husk made of a human. __Its not something you ever get used to, seeing reflections of your species in those twisted features. The thought that it could be someone you used to know...__

"Right. You throw up the barrier, I'll take down the shields!"

They threw their powers out together, and this time Liara's barrier held, and she stood firm, bracing her feet against the Banshee's struggles. Kaidan took a deep breath and sent out a wave of energy, the blue lightning of his power surrounding the creature. Gathering his strength, he pulled down, feeling tug of his power as it tore through the Banshee's body. It screamed again, and he released, breathing heavily.

"I can hold it!" Liara cried, twitching her arms to strengthen her barrier. "Hit it again!" The Banshee turned its head to stare, and reached her hand out towards him. The long talons that had been its fingers were covered in blood, and Kaidan felt his stomach turn. He pushed the feeling away, gathered his strength, and ripped the creature apart with a surge of energy.

It didn't even have time to scream, but exploded into millions of tiny pieces. He heard Liara exhale, and lean against a large potted plant.

"Major, your level of biotics... they are practically on par with the Asari. That was most impressive."

"I'll say." Shepard came up behind them. "How are you guys doing? That looked intense."

Kaidan rolled his shoulders, feeling his armor shift across his shoulders, and he rubbed the back of his neck. _Hopefully that didn't put too much strain on my amp. _

"Not too bad." He looked her over carefully, making sure she hadn't taken any hits from the Cannibals. "How'd you do?"

"Well, they're all dead. So I guess that's good." She sighed, and moved towards another door. "Let's get this over with. Who knows how many of those things have gotten off world. We need to warn the Alliance."

In the next room, Shepard knelt next to the body of a commando, and went through its packs for any spare heat sinks.

"Another commando got overrun?" Kaidan said, leaning over her shoulder. "This place must've been chaos... or they panicked."

"Asari commandos have decades of experience. They don't panic." Liara shook her head, accepting some extra clips from Shepard.

"Doesn't matter how long you've been fighting." Kaidan pointed at the commando's torso, or what remained of it. "You never know what'll break your unit." He thought back to the long, thin fingers that had reached out for him. "I think a Banshee did that."

Shepard gave an involuntary shudder.

"One more reason to not let them get close." She stood back up, popping the heat sink out of her rifle, and exchanging it for fresh one. "I think that elevator will take us to the Great Hall. Let's move before more of them find us."

The took the elevator in silence, Kaidan was glad for the opportunity to recover some of his strength. He was pushing his biotics harder than he ever had before, and was starting to feel the strain. Shepard gave him a concerned glance as he groaned, but he shook his head back at her. __Can't let her worry about me. She needs to focus.__

When the doors opened, two Asari stood silhouetted against a large window. The Great Hall lived up to its name, the ceiling was several stories high, and the room itself was nearly as wide. He squinted his eyes, and studied the figures at the far end.

"There's the bomb."

"And Falare." Shepard added, as they walked down a small set of stairs and moved closer.

"Rila, Rila wake up!" Falare was hunched over the body of a previously unseen Asari, shaking the shoulders of her unresponsive sister.

"Falare, Rila cannot hear us." Samara took her daughter's arm, but Falare pulled away, as a child would.

"Look, she's still alive!"

"I know, but I am afraid Rila is not well."

"She's not one of them yet. She can't be. She just needs to wake up!" She dropped to her knees, and took her sister's face in her hands. "Rila? Rila can you hear me?"

The slumped body rolled its head, and looked up with solid black eyes. With unnerving speed, she shot to her feet, dragging Falare up with her. Falare's hands scrambled at the fingers around her neck, finally pushing her sister away. Rila collapsed to the ground, and lay still again.

"Why did she do that?" Falare cried, even though she already knew the answer. She sat back down on the ground, hands on her head.

"Because they've begun to turn her into one of the Reaper's creatures." Samara's voice was calm, level, as if she was discussing the weather, not the impending horror her daughter was about to undergo.

"I'm sorry." Shepard said, coming up behind the Asari. Samara turned, giving the squad a nod of greeting. Taking care not to disturb Rila, Shepard examined the large explosive. "Can we set off that bomb?"

Kaidan quickly scanned it with his omnitool, and shook his head. "We need a detonator."

"Commandos would've had one, we've got to find it." Another Banshee scream filled the room, and Shepard gritted her teeth. "Later. Don't let them get to the bomb!"

Kneeling beside her daughters, Samara threw up the strongest barrier Kaidan had ever seen. It was so thick, he could barely see the women huddled below it. Shepard grabbed his arm, and pulled him behind a large pillar as two of the Banshees lurched into the room, flanked by several Cannibals.

"Okay, I need you to get the shields down on them, I've switched my ammo out to disruptor rounds. We need to take those bitches down quick." He nodded, and flinched as one of the Banshees screamed, and launched itself across the room towards them. He took its shield down, then ducked as Shepard took it down with her rifle. He glanced at Liara, who had the Cannibals suspended in air, as she had done with the Cerberus troops on Mars. "Shit! Movemovemovemove." Shepard screamed, scrambling out from behind the pillar. Kaidan followed swiftly, as the second Banshee appeared directly behind them.

Trying to get out the Banshee's reach, Shepard tripped over a piece of fallen masonry, and fell forward onto the ground. With a smooth movement, she rolled over onto her back, and fired until her heat sink clicked empty. Kaidan felt a fire of anger growing in his chest as the Banshee reached out for her, and threw all of his power at the monster. He felt it catch, and he pulled down as hard as he could. The Banshee exploded as the other had, its long fingers dissolving dangerously close to Shepard. Kaidan breathed out heavily, bracing his hands on his knees to catch his breath. _Not today. _

"That's the last one." Liara called out, scanning the room.

"For now." Shepard said, picking herself off the floor. "Let's get back to that bomb." She flashed Kaidan a mad grin as she passed him. "That's another time you've saved my ass, Major. I believe that puts you ahead in the standings."

"We keeping score now?" He coughed, as air rushed back into his lungs. He shook his arms out, and stood up straight.

"Now? We always have been."

Samara let down her barrier as the squad approached, and stood, both of her daughters joining her. Rila's eyes had returned to normal, no longer the empty black they had been. Everyone in the small group jumped as several Banshees wailed outside the Great Hall. _Oh shit, how many are there? We could barely handle two at a time... _As they watched, Rila reached out and took her sister by the shoulders, but with a tenderness she had lacked before.

"Falare, go! Take the elevator." She pointed across the large room.

"Rila? What are you doing?" The younger Asari gripped her sister's arm in return, as Rila shook her head.

"It's too late for me. There are hundreds coming. Just go!"

She reached into her pocket, and pulled out the detonator. Gripping it tightly, she released her grip on Falare to point towards the elevator. She looked at Shepard, and nodded her head slowly.

"Move!" The squad started running for the lift, Shepard pulling Falare behind her. The Asari struggled, reaching back towards her sister.

"No! Rila!" She screamed, practically breaking out of Shepard's grip. Grimacing, Shepard wrapped her arm around Falare's waist, and dragged her up the stairs.

"I love you." Rila called out, clutching the detonator to her chest.

"Rila!" Falare sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

As they piled into the elevator, the Great Hall seemed to glow blue with the biotics from the crowd of Banshees. Ignoring the squad, they all strode towards Rila with a singular purpose. _Do they still remember being Ardat-Yakshi? Do they still have intelligence? Do they know what the bomb will do? _As the horrible thought of intelligent husks sunk in, the lift doors slammed shut. The sound of Banshee screams came through the walls, filling the air around them, and Falare threw herself against the doors, finally free of Shepard's grip. _Is Rila going to be able to pull it off? If she doesn't set the bomb off, there's no way we'll be able to get to it again. She has to hit that button. _The lift stopped on a different floor, and they piled out, running for the exit as fast as they could. The muscles in his legs felt like they were going to snap, he had seriously overtaxed his biotics with that last Banshee, and it was taking a toll. When they were safely outside, he saw Shepard staring at the monastery, her face blank, emotionless. She didn't move until the bomb finally went off and the ground rolled beneath them, then she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"There wasn't even time to say goodbye." Rila was choking back deep, racking sobs. Samara stepped up behind her daughter.

"Few can break the Reaper's hold. Rila's will was extraordinary, as was her love for you."

Falare spun around, her grief momentarily replaced with rage.

"We left her to die!"

Kaidan felt his breath catch in his throat. Everything that Falare was feeling, he had gone through, and the memories crept into his head. Leaving Ashley behind on Virmire to set off the nuke, when he found out Shepard hadn't made it through the destruction of the Normandy... He tried to push them aside, to focus on Samara and her daughter, but the thoughts stuck, catching in the back of his mind.

"Rila made her choice, and it has reminded me of what's truly important. Why I swore I'd lay down my life."

"What is that?"

"Falare, the Code demands an Ardat-Yakshi cannot live outside a monastery that no longer exists." The justicar unholstered her sidearm, and looked at it thoughtfully.

"What are you doing?" Shepard's matched the panicked look in Falare's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Shepard, by the Justicar's code... there is only one way to save Falare."

"Mother, no!" Falare held her hands up, in a futile attempt at defense, and Samara gave her head a small shake, and raised the gun. The barrel passed Falare's face, and continued up until it rested against Samara's temple.

"My daughters. You were all so much stronger than I believed."

Shepard bolted forward, grabbing the Asari by the arms, and pinning them behind her back.

"Let... go." Samara hissed at her, the first time Kaidan had heard strong emotion in the woman's voice.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked again as she fought to keep her grip.

"Fulfilling the Code!"

"By throwing your life away?" Shepard's voice cracked. _She can't lose another ally. It will break her. _

"I won't kill my last daughter!" Samara cried out, finally dropping all pretense of stoicism.

"You won't have to." Falare spoke softly, and a hush fell over the group, interrupted only by the occasional crash of collapsing masonry.

"Falare?" Samara let the pistol drop out of her fingers, and it landed softly on the snow covered ground.

"I'll stay here... home... no matter what's become of it." She looked back at the ruined building.

"Without a proper monastery..."

"I could have left any time. I don't need a building to honor my own code. And if the Reapers return, they won't take me alive. I promise."

"Then the Code permits you to stay, as you are."

Shepard released her grip on Samara, and the woman stepped forward to embrace her daughter.

"Once this war is over, and if I am able, I will visit. As a justicar should." Shepard coughed awkwardly.

"I'd understand if you wanted to help Falare rebuild a home here."

Letting go of Falare, Samara turned to face the squad.

"It must wait, now that I can help oppose the Reapers. I'll speak with Falare, then join your forces, if you'll have me., of course."

"I'd be honored."

"The honor is mine, my friend."

With a brisk nod, Samara and Falare walked back towards a section of the monastery that wasn't on fire. Shepard sighed, and clicked on her radio.

"Everything's taken care of down here. Bring in the shuttle."

"Right, Commander." Cortez responded. "I'll just follow the smoke."

They stood in silence for a moment, until curiosity got the better of Kaidan.

"Shepard... What were you going to say... after we found that commando?"

"Which commando?" she said absently, looking at her hands.

"The one with the message." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Liara step away.

"I'll go make sure Samara has a shuttle to get off world later." She disappeared, and Kaidan turned back to Shepard.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Right." She continued to avoid eye contact, so he ducked his head down to her eye level.

"You have to talk to me. You can't just bring something like that up, then not mention it again."

She inhaled sharply, and glared up at him. _Oh shit. _Her eyes were bright, as if she was holding back tears.

"I have to be Commander right now." She hissed. "I have to be strong. I can't let emotional things affect me right now. I have to push. It. Away."

Kaidan's mouth fell open as she walked away from him, her feet leaving tracks in the fresh snow. _This is not good. Oh, this is really not good. As soon as we get back to the Normandy... _His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the collapse of his legs. He dropped onto his knees, the overworking of his biotics finally catching up with him.

"Kaidan!" He heard Liara cry out behind him. "Shepard, help him!"

Shepard knelt down in front of him, ripped her gloves off, and put her hands on his face.

"Shit, Kaidan, you're so pale..." Her eyes were wide with concern, and she looked over his shoulder to Liara. "Tell Cortez to step on it!" His vision blurred as she put her attention back on him. "Nope, you gotta stay awake. You have to stay with me." She fumbled in a pouch for an energy bar, and forced it into his hand. "Eat this, dammit!"

Kaidan looked down at the object in his hand, and tried to make sense of it. He shook his head, as if trying to clear it out, and unwrapped the bar. A few bites had him feeling more coherent, and he breathed deeply.

"I guess my amp did get rattled." He felt the fresh scar on the back of his neck. "I've never had that much power before, but I've never been this exhausted." Shepard ran her fingers through his hair.

"Don't do that to me." She pulled him forward, pressing her face against his shoulder. "Goddammit don't do that to me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that would happen." He breathed in, taking in the smell of smoke and sweat, as well as the ever present hint of vanilla. _Battle Shepard. _They continued to sit on the ground until the shuttle arrived a few minutes later. Shepard and Liara helped him up, and they made their way on board. Liara sat down across from him, and Shepard stayed at his side. No one spoke until they had broken atmosphere, and were approaching the ship.

"When we get back to the Normandy, you are seeing Chakwas straight off. I want to make sure you didn't fuck anything up with your amp." He nodded, still feeling woozy, but still reached up to brush the hair out of her face. She leaned into his touch, her shoulders relaxing. "About the commando..." Her voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "In case something happens... there's a letter... in the drawer of the bedside table. I don't want you to go through life without me again, with only a photo."

He tried to put his arm around her, but couldn't find the strength. She noticed, and curled into him as best she could.

"I don't need it. Because I'm going to have the real thing. We're gonna make it." Even as he spoke the words, he felt a creeping doubt grow at the back of his mind. _Are we? Or are these just fruitless struggles against the inevitable? When you sign up for this life, you know the risks. And these days there are more risks than ever. Its amazing we've even made it this far. How long can we push our luck? _Thankfully, Shepard didn't pick up on his fears, and breathed deeply as she leaned against him.

"You really think so?"

He looked out the shuttle window as they docked with the Normandy, not wanting to lie to her face.

"Yeah. I think we're gonna be fine."

(A/N uuuggghh everything in the game is so depressing from here on out. Steel yourselves, my dear readers, for some serious angst. Sorry! But it will all be worth it in the end, I promise!)


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When they docked on the Normandy, Vega was waiting for them. He and Shepard each took one of Kaidan's arms, and helped him to the lift, then to the med bay.

"I'm fine..." Kaidan muttered, as Chakwas forced him onto a cot and started scanning him with her omnitool. "I just pushed myself too hard." The doctor didn't look convinced.

"Major, after the damage you and your amp took on Mars, I'm not taking any chances." She frowned, and Kaidan looked past her to Shepard's worried face.

"I'm fine." He repeated. She raised her eyebrows, and turned to Chakwas.

"Everything check out okay?"

"Not exactly." She double checked some data on her omnitool. "Alenko, there is something not quite right with your amp. You shouldn't have been able to use all of your power that quickly. There appears to something be wrong with the regulator." She frowned and turned to Shepard. "I don't have the expertise or the equipment to repair that."

"Is there anyone on the Citadel who can?" Shepard asked. "I have to meet with the Asari councilor, so we're going there anyway."

"Yes, I do have a colleague who could do it. I'm not sure how long it would take though. The hospitals and clinics are all packed with refugees."

"We'll bring them onboard, do it on the Normandy. I'm sure they can make time for a Spectre." Shepard reached over and squeezed Kaidan's hand. "I need him in peak fighting condition."

Chakwas nodded.

"I'll let her know we are on the way. EDI?" She called out.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"How long until we reach the Citadel?"

"Approximately six hours."

Kaidan tried to stand up, but Shepard pushed him back down.

"Nope. You are going to stay here. You need to rest." She sighed. "Besides, I have to go let Hackett know about the Banshees."

She squeezed his hand again, and left. Kaidan lay back on the cot, and fell asleep almost instantly.

When he woke several hours later, he remembered that he had dreamt, but couldn't remember what of. He only knew it had left an unsettled feeling in the back of his mind.

"Major, glad to see you awake." Chakwas called from the other side of the room. "You're just in time to go back to sleep." She gestured to a pleasant looking woman in a lab coat. "This is Doctor Christine Kirby. She's here to fix your amp."

"Major Alenko, it's an honor to meet you. I've heard all about you." The other doctor smiled, opening a small satchel. "Don't worry, I've done lots of repairs on L2s, so this will take no time at all. Plus, I always take extra good care of my fellow Canadians." She laughed as she adjusted a small syringe, and injected a sedative into his arm. "Now when you wake up, you'll be rather groggy. I've found it's best if you lay off the biotics for about thirty six hours."

"But... We have missions... Shepard... Have to go with her..."

"I'm sure the Commander will be fine. Besides, if you use your biotics before the amp has time to reset, you'll end up doing more harm to yourself, then good for her."

Kaidan's vision went blurry, and the last thing he saw before passing out was the new doctor leaning over him.

"Relax, Major. Everything is going to be fine."

The med bay was empty when he woke a second time, but outside in the mess area, crew members sat silently gripping mugs of coffee. Kaidan pulled himself off the cot, and made his way out to join them.

"What's going on?" He asked Donnelly, the man's normally light complexion even paler.

"The Reapers..." He cleared his throat. "The Reapers have hit Thessia."

"The Asari homeworld?"

The engineer nodded.

"But there's something there that Shepard needs, so we're going anyway."

As if to prove what Donnelly had just said, Liara burst out of her office in full armor. Kaidan took off running after her, ignoring the protests of his sore legs. As they got onto the lift together, he noticed she was shaking so badly her armor was rattling.

"Liara, let me fix that." He reached over to secure her backplate, and a flash of memory hit. Shepard smiling at him while fixing Jenkins' armor, as they waited on the flight deck to land on Eden Prime. The overeager marine so desperate to impress her, had been taken out by recon drones not ten minutes later. __Maybe he was the lucky one. Getting out before everything went to hell.__

When they stopped at the hanger deck, Liara gave him a grateful nod, then ran towards the shuttle, and Shepard. The commander looked up at Kaidan, a grim expression on her face.

"What's happened?"

"Besides the Reapers?" She raised her eyebrows as she pulled a glove on.

"You know what I meant. Why are you going down there?"

She sighed, and continued strapping on her armor.

"There's a temple, and the Asari have some artifact called the catalyst hidden there that will finish the crucible. I'm not sure what it is exactly, the councilor was stupidly cryptic. But if we don't get it now, we never will, and then everything is lost."

"But the Reapers..."

Turning to face him, he saw she already had her battle face on. Hard and emotionless.

"I have to take my chances."

"Fine, then I'm coming with you. I'm not letting you go down there without me!"

"You won't let me?" She stared at him, and the stern expression on her face cracked. "You can barely stand, let alone use your biotics!" She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away gently. "You'd die down there. And I won't let that happen."

"There are going to be Banshees down there." He protested weakly, already knowing he was beaten. "Liara can't take them all on."

"She will not be facing them alone." A gruff voice said from behind them. "I am going to the Asari homeworld to assist the Commander." Kaidan turned to see Javik approaching. The Prothean still wore a sour expression, and he stomped past them to join Liara on the shuttle. "Besides, my biotic abilities exceed the Asari's. I have killed more of the husk creatures then you could even count."

Shepard rolled her eyes.

"See? It's going to be fine. We'll be back before you know it." He reached out for her as she started to walk away, and as his fingers touched her arm, she turned back. "I promise."

Before she climbed into the shuttle, he called out again.

"Hey, leave your comms open, okay?"

She gave a quick nod.

"We'll broadcast to Joker, alright?"

He nodded back, and felt a sense of dread welling up inside his chest.

"Shepard...?"

She stuck her head out the shuttle door.

"Be safe. I love you."

"I..." She paused as if she was going to finish the sentence, then ducked out of view, shutting the door behind her. Kaidan got back onto the lift, and headed up to the CIC, feeling his heart sink. __She's never actually said it back.__The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. __I know she does, but she's never said it. I wonder if it's in that letter. I don't think I ever want to know. __Once the elevator stopped, he walked as quickly as he could to the cockpit. Joker and EDI were in their regular chairs, Tali curled up in the other. Garrus and Vega stood behind them, leaning against the wall. As Kaidan joined them, Tali moved to stand.

"It's fine, Tali, you can stay there." He braced himself against the back of the pilot's chair, and stared out the window. "I think I'm too nervous to stay still."

Far below them, the Asari homeworld was on fire.

"This is much worse than Palaven." Garrus muttered. "And I thought that was bad."

"This is what Earth looked like when we left." Vega added, shaking his head. "Hey, Joker, they aren't going to notice us out here, are they?"

We're pretty far back." The pilot responded, checking his screens. "And we have the stealth system engaged. We'll be fine. Besides, we aren't leaving Shepard down there."

A hush fell over the small room, as everybody nodded their agreement. Joker cocked his head, listening to a transmission come through his headset, then turned back to the crew.

"Cortez just dropped them off, and is heading back to low orbit. Want me to put them on speaker?"

"Can she hear us?" Kaidan asked, leaning over to look at the console.

"She can hear me when I open the line, but that's about it. The mic here doesn't pick up a lot. Their mics will pick up anyone they talk to in close quarters." He clicked a few buttons, and the sound of the shuttle engines filled the cockpit.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Liara cried out. "My home!"

"There's no time to mourn!" Javik replied. "We're exposed up here!"

"Then let's get down!" Shepard called, and in the background Kaidan could pick up sounds of rapid gunfire. He gripped the back of Joker's chair and leaned forward to hear better. The faint chatter of Asari soldiers was drowned out by the artillery, and he winced as he heard an explosion go off too close for comfort.

"The barriers been breached!" Liara yelled. "I'll help hold it, Shepard, you need to get to that gun!"

Joker reached over and turned the speakers down, the sound of whatever large gun Shepard was using was deafening in the small room.

"Okay..." The pilot said nervously. "So this isn't starting out so well."

"I should be down there." Kaidan said, cracking his knuckles.

"Doing what?" Garrus stepped forward and leaned on the back of Tali's chair. "You know you can't do anything with your biotics for another day."

"I have a gun."

"You have a pistol. No offense, Major..." Vega spoke from the corner. "But if Shepard needs guns, you know she's gonna take me."

Knowing the Lieutenant was right, Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck and scowled. The scar on the back of his neck was raised and sore to the touch.

"The gun stopped, Joker, turn it back up!" Tali leaned forward.

"-We've been told to expect you." An Asari's voice came over the speakers. "Our orders were to hold this grid at all costs. But our perimeters collapsing, and I'm getting my people out of here."

"This is important! We need your help!" Shepard said.

"Well, unless you can give me a good reason to stay, we're not dying for a field of rubble."

There was a pause, as explosions and yelling filled the room. Everyone moved closer to the speakers.

"What exactly were you told about me?"

"Nothing but your name. Mission details were classified, it just means we'll die without knowing why."

"I know what that's like... but you have to trust the chain of command!"

"We're not even sure the chain still exists." The Asari's voice was weary, exhausted. _She's at the point where soldiers give up... go AWOL... run away. Come on, Shepard... talk her back into the fight. _"So what are we doing here?"

"We're after a relic inside the temple. It's important."

"That's what this is all about? One of our outposts has been trying to reach the scientists out there, but we lost contact." There was a slight pause, then more yelling. "Get that gunship moving! Now!"

For a moment, there was no other noise but battle and explosions. Then the Asari came back on the line.

"I'm sorry, Commander. If your relic has lasted this long, it can last a little longer. I've lost enough people today. I'm pulling the rest of them out."

"No." Everyone flinched as Javik's voice roared over the comms. "I sense in you the lineage of a leader. A warrior's skill, and cunning. They are strong in your genes. But you've grown tired of it. Exhausted by defeat. And now you worry you don't have the courage left to go on."

"By the goddess." The Asari's voice was so quiet, it barely registered. "Are you..."

"Find your resolve! This war can end if you do."

"We're building a Prothean super-weapon, and it will win this war!" Shepard added.

"That was one hell of a pep talk." Vega said under his breath. "Didn't know that guy had it in him."

"I believe it." Said the Asari. "Hold your positions! I want a path carved to the temple! Outpost Tykis, we've got people coming your way! Let's make sure the galaxy knows the war was won on Thessia!"

There was a crunching of masonry, and the squeal of metal, then silence fell over the line again. Kaidan scrambled through a small storage compartment behind him, and found an external earpiece.

"Alenko, what are you doing?" Joker tried to turn and look back at him.

"I can't hear her!"

"Because she's not saying anything..."

"I just... need to be able to hear better, okay?"

The rest of the crew exchanged nervous glances as Kaidan tuned the earpiece to the frequency of Shepard's radio. She still wouldn't be able to hear him, but he could hear her more clearly.

"I was here, years ago." Liara was saying. "To see the city burning like this..."

"It can be rebuilt." Shepard reassured her, and groaned with dismay. "Just worry about the next twenty meters."

"This has to end!"

"Draw strength from your anger." Javik's voice called out again. "It will keep you alive."

"Remember that!" Yelled Shepard. "Because here they come again!"

Kaidan held the earpiece tightly against his head, listening to Shepard fighting whatever was ahead of her. He could hear pulse of her rifle, the hiss of the heat sinks, the sharp intake of breath as she climbed over something. It drove him mad, not being able to help her. Being forced to sit in the safety of the Normandy, and listen to her fight. He paced the small room, Garrus and Vega watching him silently.

After a few long minutes, Javik called out an all clear.

"Then get off the bridge!" Shepard responded with a yell.

A series of explosions rang in his head, but Kaidan bit his lip and tried to listen even harder. __Just take a breath. Let me know you're okay. __Shepard swore loudly, and Kaidan relaxed.

"Major, maybe you should go down to the crew deck." Vega suggested. "You're gonna make yourself sick up here."

Kaidan shook his head at the lieutenant.

"I'm not leaving until she's on her way back."

"On that building!" Yelled Liara, snapping everyone's attention back to the comms. The rest of the sentence was drowned out by more explosions.

"Scatter and take cover!" Shepard called back. "Watch the edges! Don't let them get around us!"

Feeling pathetically useless, Kaidan turned away from the rest of the crew. _I should be down there!_

"They just won't stop!"

As he listened to Liara and Shepard call out to each other, he tried to visualize what was happening on the planet's surface. He closed his eyes and shook his head. All he saw in his mind was Shepard being overrun by Reapers, shot, torn to pieces, run through. He turned up the volume in his earpiece, and focused on the sound of her breathing amidst the gunfire.

"Wait, that door ahead looks like our way out of this mess!"

"Nice spot, Liara! Now we just need to... Oh... shit."

The scream of a Banshee filled the air. Kaidan looked back at the crew, Joker was sheet white, Vega's jaw had dropped, and Tali had reached up for Garrus's hand, gripping it tightly. Only EDI hadn't moved, but her synthetic face registered a feeling of unease.

"Damn. And I thought Shepard was exaggerating about that screaming." Garrus muttered.

"It's worse in person." Kaidan said, remember how the sound had sent chills down his spine.

"Keep up the pressure!" Shepard screamed. _I hope Javik was serious about his biotics. They need them right now. _The creature screamed again, and he heard Shepard sigh deeply. "Okay, let's get inside before more of them show up."

"I still can't face those things." Liara's voice was cracking. "My own people..."

"When we fought the Reapers, they turned our own children against us." There was no emotion in Javik's tone, a stark contrast to Liara's fearful tone.

"I... can't imagine that."

"They assumed we would hesitate to kill them."

There was a long silence, both on the ground, and in the cockpit.

"Did you?" Shepard asked tentatively.

"What answer would you prefer?"

"None." Liara said. "Let's stop talking about this... Goddess! Above us!"

The roar of the Reaper was so loud over the speaker that everything rattled. _Oh shit, it must be right on top of them!_ Javik tried to talk, but the noise of the monster drowned him out.

"Just stay down! There's a squad of Asari ahead! We just have to get to them!"

Trying to imagine what Shepard was seeing, Kaidan remembered the first time he had seen Sovereign, on Eden Prime when they all thought it was just a ship. __Back when we all thought stopping Saren would save the galaxy. Back when an end was in sight.__

"Shepard!" The comms picked up another unfamiliar Asari voice. "Can you really win this war?"

"We get to that temple, and the Reapers are history!"

"Outpost Tykis isn't far from here! Get a move on, and I can cover you!"

There was a few moments of heavy breathing before anyone spoke again. _They must be running. _

"I think we're in the clear." Liara chimed in. "Let's get out of here. Toward the Reaper! It's a way out!"

"You have an interesting concept of escape." Javik voiced the thoughts of everyone in the cockpit.

"No choice!"

"Joker, this isn't being broadcast over the ship, is it?" Tali asked as the communications from the planet tapered off.

"No. just us." Joker sighed. "I don't think anyone else wants to listen. I don't know if I even want to listen."

EDI reached her hand out and gently patted his arm.

"Jeff, if you do not want to listen, you should turn off the radio."

"NO." Kaidan and Garrus said at the same time.

"EDI, we have to keep listening."

"Why?"

"Because it's what friends do."

They sat in silence, until the voices picked back up.

"This nightmare never ends!" Liara was out of breath, gasping loudly.

"The hell it won't!" Shepard yelled back. "We get to this artifact and we can all wake up!"

"Fifty thousand years later..." Javik's voice sounded distant, like he didn't believe what he was saying. Whatever he was going to say next was cut off by several loud explosions.

"We're trying to reach outpost Tykis!" Kaidan guessed Shepard was speaking to another Asari soldier.

"You're looking at it!"

"What about the rest of your squad?"

"They're all dead." Kaidan shuddered. _Thessia is going to fall. They can't hold out much longer. Shepard, hurry._ "We tried cutting through to the scientists, but... I'm all that's left."

"What about reinforcements?"

"We had gunships flying support, but things got too hot with that Reaper. They can't chance it."

"I know its rough, but I don't see another way in without their help."

"Have I told you how much I hate this war?"

Vega snorted.

"Preaching to the choir, girl."

"What?" Garrus looked at him confusion.

"I'll explain it later."

"Talon swarm, this is outpost Tykis. Is anyone left on this frequency? We are in need of immediate air support. Commander Shepard is here!"

The squad must have moved, the Asari's voice no longer was picked up by the communicators. All the crew could here was gunfire, and the squeal of husks as they fell.

"Oh, shit! The gunships going down!" Shepard called out in frustration. "The Reapers have air support too!"

"Fucking Harvesters." Vega muttered. "I hate those things."

"So much sacrifice. We have to make it worth something!" _Damn, Liara, Shepard knows that. Let her focus. She can't break. Not down there. Let her get home to me. _

Through his earpiece, he heard Shepard take a deep breath.

"Looks like we're in the clear. Let's get inside."

"It appears the temple has been barricaded." There was more annoyance in Javik's voice than normal.

"Let me take a look." Liara said. "It's military grade encryption. I think I can override it."

"Do religion and military always mix among Asari?"

"No this is unusual."

"Joker? Can you hear me?" Joker flinched, startled by Shepard speaking directly to him.

"Yeah, Commander. We're all here."

"Who? No, never mind. We're at the temple, I don't know how strong the comm signal will be. I'm already picking up a ton of interference."

"We'll be right here, Shepard."

"No, Joker, listen." In his mind, he could see her close her eyes as she breathed in. "It's really bad down here. If something goes wrong... I want you to get everyone out of there. Run. Hide. Stay alive somehow."

Silence fell as the crew stared at each other with wide eyes.

"I... we..." Joker stammered, and Kaidan stepped forward, leaning over the pilot to hit the call button.

"Shepard, goddammit, we aren't leaving without you. Get the catalyst and get back here. That's an order, Commander."

A burst of static answered him before Shepard did. He had never actually pulled rank on her before, and that had probably thrown her.

"Aye aye... Major."

As he walked back to lean against the wall, Garrus nodded.

"Does she really think we'd ever leave her behind?"

"I don't know what she's thinking."

The condition of the connection deteriorated, but they were thankfully still able to pick out the squad's voices. Because of the ever present static, Kaidan could no longer hear Shepard breathing, but he kept the earpiece in regardless.

"Hello, is anyone there?" Liara called out. The slight echo to her voice spoke to the largeness of the space they must be in.

"Something is wrong. Your scientists should be here." The ever present annoyance in Javik's voice was replaced with apprehension, and Shepard cleared her throat.

"Take a look around. Maybe one of those artifacts is what we're looking for... Damn. I'm guessing these are the scientists."

"Their throats..." Javik said.

"What happened to them?"

"They've been slit. The Reapers didn't do this."

_Get out get out get out. It's gone wrong. Get out now!  
><em>

"We're going to have to figure this out on our own." Liara continued, before a burst of static drowned her out.

"Joker, can you enhance it?" Tali hugged her knees to her chest.

"Yeah, hang on..." The static faded away, until Shepard's voice came back.

"There's a Prothean beacon here!"

"What? You're sure?"

"It's not something you forget." Kaidan's mind flashed back to their first mission on Eden Prime, when he had set off the beacon, and Shepard had knocked him out of the way. How he had gently gathered her limp body in his arms and carried her back to the Normandy, terrified he had just gotten his commander brain damaged, while trying to ignore the tiny spark of attraction growing in the back of his mind. _Never something you forget._

"But why hide it?"

Javik sneered at Liara's question.

"The answer is obvious. Power and influence. Your people are holding the knowledge of my race for their own gain."

"That can't be. I can't believe my people would keep this a secret."

"A beacon like this could explain why Asari are so advanced." Shepard sounded thoughtful through the static, and Kaidan looked over at Garrus. The Turian was shaking his head slowly.

"I would have never expected the Asari to pull something like this." He muttered under his breath.

"It's bad?" Joker asked, twisting in his seat to look back at the crew.

"Yeah. The Asari actually wrote the galactic laws on harboring Prothean artifacts."

"Oh. Damn."

"This temple is thousands of years old. Time enough to make serious progress." Javik said accusingly.

"That doesn't make it true!" protested Liara.

"Even a small amount of data could give your species an edge. Or are you insulted your government didn't involve you?"

"Well if it is true, the Asari should have shared this knowledge. We might not have been in this mess if they had." Shepard ventured.

"You don't know that, Shepard. We don't know whats going on here!"

"I know we don't have much time to find out."

"The few records I can access talk about tapping into Prothean data streams. Reconstructing a matrix, none of which I see here..."

"I do." Javik spoke quietly, and a soft hissing noise came over the line. "The activation process has begun."

"By the goddess. Literally." Liara sounded shocked. _Wait, what does that mean?_

"Look around, there must be more of these connections!" Shepard called out, and gasped as the hissing got louder. "I'd say that one counts."

"I wish we could see what's going on." Tali said wistfully. EDI stared at her computer screen.

"I have no visuals, but there is an energy source gaining strength in the temple. It is almost at its maximum capacity."

As she spoke, the hissing noise ceased, and a loud rumbling noise took its place.

"The activation is complete!" Javik said. "We can access the beacon now!"

"We need to hurry! This place isn't going to..." Liara's voice trailed off. "Last very long..."

" … post Prothean cycle confirmed." The comms picked up a new voice.

Kaidan frowned. _That sounds almost like Vigil. _His mind raced back to the Prothean VI they had encountered on Ilos.

"One of our computers." Javik confirmed Kaidan's suspicion.

"Reaper presence detected." The VI continued. "This galactic cycle has already reached its extinction terminus. Systems shutting down."

"Oh no..." Tali muttered. Garrus gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Hold on!" Liara yelled.

"We need answers!" Demanded Shepard.

"To what question?" There was no emotion in the VI's voice.

"The catalyst. We need to know what it is to finish the crucible!"

The static increased sharply, making everyone in the cockpit wince.

"I am called Vendetta... overseer of the project you call crucible, ...died fighting the Reapers... your remaining time is also at an end."

Joker frantically adjusted the frequency, trying to lessen the amount of distortion and clear up the line.

"There's still hope for this cycle!" Shepard was saying. "We need to know what the catalyst is. Trillions of lives are at risk."

"Trillions of lives are always at risk. But if the Reapers have arrived to end your cycle, this discussion is too late."

"We can break the cycle! We found your plans for the crucible. We're building it right now!"

"The crucible is not a Prothean design. It is the work of countless galactic cycles stretching back millions of years. Each cycle adds to it. Each improves upon it." Kaidan knew the look of shock on the faces of the crew in the cockpit mirrored that of the squad on the planet._ What. The. Hell?_ "Thus far, none have successfully defeated the Reapers with it."

"Then we'll be the first! Tell us what the catalyst is!" _That's my girl. Don't take shit from an ancient VI. _

"Listen to the human. She can be trusted." The VI paused after Javik spoke.

"I detect you are one of us. You are Prothean."

"The last. I am the final hope to avenge our people."

"Your mission was known to me. Do you believe this present cycle can deliver retribution?"

There was a long pause, as if Javik was turning the question over in his mind.

"They have earned the right to try."

"That might be the nicest thing he's ever said." Garrus said dryly.

"Tell us what we need to know!" Shepard was getting desperate. Her radio was starting to pick up the sounds of distant explosions.

"Very well. If you have followed the plans for the crucible, I will interface with your systems and assist with the catalyst too." There was a pause, and the VI's voice changed in tone. "Indoctrinated presence detected. Activating security protocol."

_Oh shit._

"Reapers?" Vega asked, cracking his knuckles. "Or Collectors?"

"No, we destroyed all of the Collectors." Garrus responded.

"You." There was a coldness in Shepard's voice, whoever she was taking to was someone who had seriously pissed her off. "You killed the scientists. What do you want?"

"Your attention." A male voice unknown to Kaidan answered.

"Oh shit." Garrus leaned over Tali's chair, his hand still on her shoulder. "It's Kai Leng again."

"The assassin from the Citadel?" Kaidan's chest tightened as Garrus nodded.

"Let's hope he doesn't have any help. He was more than a handful on his own."

"Someone would like to talk to you." The man continued. There was a soft whirring noise, and someone new spoke softly.

"Shepard."

"The Illusive Man..." Kaidan whispered, and they all froze as the condescending voice filled the room. Joker grabbed for the comm controls.

"Cortez, get your ass down there now! Things have gone completely to shit!"

"How did you find this place?" Shepard asked angrily.

"The archives. Or did your Shadow Broker miss that one?" Liara gasped angrily at the slight.

"Show yourself! I promise I won't miss!"

"Stick to your talents, Dr T'soni. You've helped uncover the key to subjugating the Reapers."

"Or destroying them..." Shepard said, with a hint of confusion.

"Dammit, Shepard. Destroying the Reapers gains us nothing!"

"How 'bout peace?" She spat back. "You've forgotten everything you stand for! Cerberus was supposed to be humanity's sword. Not a dagger in our back."

"Poetic. But as usual, you miss the point. The world is more gray than you care to admit."

"With the Prothean data in this beacon I can end this conflict once and for all! You're either with me or against me. There's nothing gray about that."

"No, I suppose there isn't. Leng. The commander has something I need. Please relieve her of it." He spoke casually, as if ordering wine in a restaurant. "And then bring me the data."

"Understood." From the way he spoke, Kaidan knew Kai Leng was smiling. There was only a moment for everyone in the cockpit to breath in, before the sound of gunfire exploded over the comms. Crashing masonry chimed in, Javik and Liara were throwing everything they had at the assassin.

"Your friend Thane died like a coward!" The man taunted.

"Come closer, and I will fucking rip your head off!" Goosebumps run down Kaidan's arms as Shepard screamed back. _She will, too. I don't doubt that for a minute. _

"He's got a gunship!" Liara called out, and Kaidan's chest tightened. "Take cover!"

Heavy artillery drowned out all other sound, until Kai Leng sneered again.

"There's only one way this ends." There was a loud crash, and Liara and Javik both gasped as if the wind had been knocked out of them. "Target the supports." An explosion rattled the cockpit, and Shepard cried out in surprise. _What happened? What did he do to her? _"Cerberus thanks you for all your hard work."

The roar of crumbling masonry echoed in the cockpit, and Shepard screamed, this time not in surprise, but in pain and fear.

"Shepard!" Liara screamed, and Kaidan felt his breath catch in his throat. __Answer her. Call back.__

"What happened?" The response was not from Shepard, but Javik.

"The floor collapsed from under her... she..." Liara didn't even need to finish the sentence. All the blood drained out of Kaidan's face, and he let himself sink to the floor. He listened hard for her breathing, even though he knew he couldn't hear it.

"Do you see her?"

"Let me get closer to the edge! Ohnononononono..."

__Be alive.__

__You can't die.__

__Not like this.__

__Not over the comms.__

__Not so far away from me.  
><em>_

He felt the rest of the crew staring at him, but didn't return their looks. He just stared at his hands, waiting for any word from Liara.

"Shepard! Hang on!"

He shot up, the muscles in his legs protesting. The knot in his chest dissolved as he listened to the groans of Shepard pulling herself up.

"I've got you!" Liara yelled again.

"Can't... let... him..." Shepard gasped, and the sound of her pistol rang out several times. "Goddammit!"  
>She paused, as if listening to something on another frequency. "This is Shepard, give us your location... We read you, give us your location!" Her voice was desperate, breaking, pleading.<p>

The only response was the roar of a Reaper, distant explosions and screams of the dying.

"Cortez?" Joker was practically yelling into the comms.

"I have visual! Landing now!" The shuttle pilot called back.

Kaidan ran his hands through his hair. _Okay, they just need to get off the planet. Past the Reapers. Ohshitohshit.  
><em>

"Joker! I've got them on board!" Cortez called. "Shepard's okay, but she's pretty banged up. We'll be back to the Normandy in five minutes, assuming we can sneak past the Reapers."

"We're coming to meet you. I'll have the hanger door open and waiting. Get back safe."

"Will do." There was a pause, then Liara's strained voice came over the radio.

"Joker, I'm going to cut the comms, Javik says we have to get Shepard's armor off to look at her wounds, and it's not going to be painless."

As if to prove her point, there was a soft click, then Shepard screamed.

"Son of a-"

The line went dead. Kaidan moved to leave the cockpit, but Garrus took him gently by the arm.

"Are you sure you want to be down there when they get here? Shepard's never failed before, and who knows how she's handling it. Also, it sounds like she's in a lot of pain."

"That's why I have to be down there."

Taking a deep breath, Garrus released his arm, then followed him to the elevator.

"What are you doing?"

"You think just because you're in love with her, that you're the only one who gets to be worried?" They stepped into the lift, and let the doors close behind them. "She's my closest friend." He looked thoughtful as they waited in the elevator. It would be a moment before the hanger deck re-pressurized. "If she was a Turian... you would have a serious fight on your hands, Major."

Kaidan laughed in spite of his mood.

"I don't think I've ever seen a Turian woman before."

"That's strange. Maybe you just don't know how to tell us apart. But human women, they're just too soft."

"And Quarians aren't soft?"

"That's the funny thing. I have no idea. And I don't care. It's Tali." He sighed. "But Shepard reminds me of my sister. I look out for her. And after everything we've been through together, she's always held it together... Seeing her knocked down kills me."

"She's slipping, isn't she."

"Yeah."

Kaidan jumped as the doors opened, and he rushed out onto the hanger deck. The shuttle door hadn't opened yet, and Garrus inhaled sharply as he surveyed the external damage.

"I can't believe Cortez got this thing in and out of a Reaper infested planet."

"No shit. He's like the Joker of shuttle pilots."

"Yeah. Hey. When they get out, I'll talk to Liara. She'll need a friend right now almost as much as Shepard does. I think she thought the war would be over before it got to Thessia."

"So did the rest of the Asari, it sounds like."

"I know what she's going through. Seeing my home burn. I don't think that's something I'll ever forget."

Kaidan thought back to the destruction of the Normandy SR1, and the sight of Vancouver in ruins.

"Me neither."

They dropped the conversation as the shuttle door hissed open. Javik stepped off first and headed to the elevator, followed by Liara. The Asari looked like she was about to cry, and Garrus put his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, lets go talk." He said softly, leading her to the elevator. Kaidan nodded as they passed him, waiting anxiously for Shepard. __At least I know she's in there. Not like after the SR1 crashed. __There was a shuffling noise, then Shepard finally got out of the shuttle, leaning heavily on Cortez. Wordlessly, the pilot stepped aside as Kaidan wrapped his arms around her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he pulled her against his chest.

"Don't ever make me do that again." He whispered furiously. "Don't make me stay behind."

She nodded, breathing deeply. Her body shook, a horrible tremor that racked her entire body. He held her tightly, waiting for the shaking to stop.

"I can't face the council." Her voice broke. "I can't do it."

"You did everything you could."

"It wasn't enough. Cerberus has the data." She buried her face in his chest. "We're all going to die, and it's my fault."

Kaidan felt his heart ache as she broke down in his arms. He had seen her furious, terrified, excited. He had held her in passionate embraces, and as she slept, but never as she wept uncontrollably into his shoulder. __I don't think I've actually ever seen her cry. All the times I've seen her frustrated or in pain, she's never cried. __He smoothed her hair with his hand, humming softly in her ear. The tune was something half remembered from his childhood, and he didn't consider himself very musical, but it seemed to calm her down. _She's never had anyone to do this for her. She didn't have a family. Never had anyone to hold her and tell her everything's going to be okay. _They stood on the hanger deck, gently rocking back and forth, until Vega and Chakwas stepped off the elevator.

"Commander, I need to examine at your leg." The doctor said, a look of concern on her face. "And Liara said something about a head wound."

Shepard pulled away from Kaidan, and wiped her eyes. They were red, and the layer of dirt on her face was marked by the tracks of tears. As she leaned back, Vega came up and gently supported her other side. He and Kaidan helped her to the elevator, as she and Vega had done the day before, and leaned against the wall of the lift.

"Shepard, after you get fixed up, you gotta talk to the Asari." Vega said softly. __He called her Shepard. Not Lola. Even he knows how serious this is.__"They've been calling every five minutes."

She nodded as they stopped on the crew deck, and she hobbled into the med bay. Chakwas closed the shades on the windows, and shooed the men out into the mess area. Only when the door had shut behind them, did Kaidan look down at his hands. The one that had been holding Shepard's head was covered in her blood. He stared at it, as Vega let out a low whistle.

"Damn." He gritted his teeth as Kaidan walked over to the small sink. "Don't worry, Major, Chakwas is going to get her all patched up."

"Physically, maybe." He dried his hands, and sat down at the mess table. "She's pretty drained, emotionally."

Vega dropped himself into the next chair.

"She's a tough nut." He leaned back, putting his feet on the table. "She never broke once, the whole time she was in lockup."

"I wish I could have seen her."

"Yeah. She did mention you a few times. Well, not you, specifically. She mentioned a guy she wanted to see. For a while I thought she had made it up, to mess with me. I don't think she wanted to get you in trouble. . She wouldn't tell me who you were or anything. But now I see why, Major." He nudged Kaidan in the ribs. "Having a girlfriend who ran off with Cerberus and blew up a mass relay would've really put a damper on your rise up the ranks."

"Plus, she was supposed to be dead and all."

"True."

Kaidan drummed his fingers on the table.

"So what did you guys do for six months?"

"Like I said before. She read. We worked out." His face brightened. "Oh, I made her watch the Blasto movies."

"What? Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. The first time, she complained through the whole thing. But now, she's seen all of them at least ten times." He laughed. "I was supposed to get leave after her hearing, and I was going to try and find her an action figure. Guess that's not going to happen now."

"Probably not. But we can't tell her that."

"Major?"

"If she loses hope, then we really are all fucked. She's the only thing holding the galaxy together. We have to be strong now. We can't let her see us panic."

"Can do."

They both stood up as the med bay doors opened, and Shepard walked out. She was limping slightly, but was able to support herself.

"Shepard..."

She looked up at him, her face still drawn. Her damp hair was pulled back, and he could see a spreading bruise on the back of her neck.

"I... have to tell the council what happened." She swallowed. "I don't know how..." Kaidan stood, and walked over to her, but she shied away from his touch. With a sad shake of her head, she made her way to the elevator, and disappeared from sight.

"What are we gonna do now?" Vega wondered out loud.

"She'll figure it out. She always does. She's not broken yet." Even as he said it, he wondered if it was true. _She has to believe that I believe it. __She needs her space, but she can't shut herself off from me. If she puts that wall up, she'll never snap out of this.  
><em>

He sighed, and headed up to the CIC. When Shepard finished with the Asasi councilor, he would be there, ready to give her anything he could. Anything to pull her back into hope, even as he lost it himself.

(A/N When I set out to write this, I wanted it to be the story of my Shepard, and how my playthroughs go. And when I get to Thessia, I always leave Kaidan behind, and take Javik. So I felt I had to do that with this story. This chapter was partially inspired by the episode of BSG in the second season, when there is a documentary crew on board, and they just listen to the dogfights happening, but you never see the actual fight. So yeah. Action, but not action.)


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

When Kaidan reached the war room, he realized he wasn't the only one who had been drawn to it. Garrus and Tali leaned against the railing that surrounded the dark room, Javik stood glowering in a corner, and Specialist Traynor and EDI huddled around a small console. The synthetic woman's face glowed eerily in the faint light, where only the eyes and slight features of the rest of the crew showed in the dim light.

"How's it going in there?" He asked, settling up against the rail next to Garrus.

"Better than I expected." His friend admitted. "The Asari apparently have some secondary plans. I'm not sure what they are though."

"Shepard's hanging in there, though. She's got a brave face on." Tali added.

They looked up as Vega and Liara entered the room, then everyone's attention turned to Shepard as she appeared out of the comm office. In the darkness of the room, the shadows on her face were deep, and angry. EDI approached the Commander, datapad in hand.

"Asari forces are in full retreat. It is no longer safe for us to remain in this system."

"Get us out of here." Shepard responded wearily. She lifted her head, and Kaidan frowned. Her eyes looked empty. _She's giving up. She can't give up.  
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The crew moved forward, joining Shepard as they faced the large center display.

"Shepard... I..." stammered Liara. "Nobody could have predicted Cerberus would reach Thessia before us."

"It's my job to be prepared. No matter what. And now Thessia's lost, as is the data on the catalyst." She slammed her hand down on a console. "I'm sick of Cerberus beating us to the punch!"

Vega grunted, folding his arms across his chest.

"Let's kick them in the balls first for a change."

"I'm with James." A small flicker of life returned to Shepard's face. "Anyone know where they're hiding? Anyone?"

As everyone shrugged, Kaidan noticed EDI staring pointedly at Traynor.

"Ummm..." The specialist muttered. "Well... there is something..."

"Let's hear it, Traynor." Shepard sighed.

"I was able to track Kai Leng's shuttle through the relay and extrapolate his destination. But the signal disappeared in the Lera system."

_Lera?That's the system Horizon is in... Kai Leng is on Horizon?  
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"Naturally." Shepard groaned, and leaned forward against a console.

"It's not just gone though..." Traynor continued. "The signal is being actively blocked."

"What? How?"

"I'm not sure, but something is interfering with all signal activity in that region of space."

"Commander, the Lera system is home to Sanctuary and little else." EDI added. "Sanctuary is a supposed safe haven for war refugees."

"You think it's worth checking out, Traynor?"

The specialist looked nervous, then nodded her head.

"Yes, Ma'am, I do."

EDI tilted her head to the side, and looked at Traynor, a slight smile on her smooth face.

"If Specialist Traynor hadn't examined the data so astutely, the interference would have been undetectable."

Traynor ducked her head as a blush spread across her tan face.

"Nice work, Traynor." A thoughtful look spread over Shepard's face, and the shadows seemed to dissipate. "You've given us a shot. Now let's sure we don't waste it."

Kaidan frowned._ I had hoped Horizon was a place we would never have to bring up again. _He stood up straight, and walked over to Shepard.

"You know I was stationed on Horizon in the Lera system, and you were the only Cerberus presence while I was there." Looking down at her, he saw the emptiness was gone from her eyes, replaced with cold determination. They stared at each other, and Kaidan tried not to think about how his heart had broken on Horizon.

"It's a slim lead." Liara interrupted. "Let's hope its the right one."

"I don't care how slim the leads are at this point." Shepard shook her head, breaking eye contact with Kaidan. "We've come too far to let Cerberus stop us. I want that Prothean data. I want the catalyst. No excuses. Dismissed."

They filtered out into the CIC, most of the crew piling into the elevator. Traynor glanced at her console, and looked up with a quizzical expression.

"Commander, you have a message from Asari military command."

Shepard looked at her own screen, and made a soft hissing noise under her breath.

"What? What happened?" Kaidan came up behind her, resting his hand on the small of her back as he read over her shoulder.

"Evacuating Thessia.

Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually Asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL"

Shepard was shaking again, this time with rage as opposed to grief.

"Hey... hey." He led her away from the console, and towards the elevator. "Fuck that guy. Don't let him rattle you."

She leaned against him as the lift carried them up to their cabin. Following her into the room, he noticed she was favoring her left leg.

"Shepard, you need to rest your leg. I don't know what you did to it, but if you keep walking around, you're going to hurt it even more." Nodding, she flopped down on the bed, facing up towards the large window.

"He had a gunship." She grumbled. "Every time I got his shields down, he hid behind a pillar, and had that damn gunship cover him."

"So he fights dirty." Kaidan sat down next to her, and pulled her feet onto his lap. "So maybe we have to fight dirty too." He undid the laces of her boots, and pulled them off, wincing at the amount of blood on her sock. Gently rolling up the leg of her pants, he grimaced at the sight of a large bruise spreading up her leg. "What happened?" He whispered.

"I don't even remember." Shepard admitted. "I was running on so much adrenaline. Something must have hit me when the temple floor collapsed. Probably metal, some kind of support beam. Whatever it was tore right through my armor." She sighed, and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him down beside her. "You should have seen it." She rolled onto her side, propping her injured leg up across his. "It must have been a beautiful planet once. But now, it's all destroyed. Nothing but Reapers and rubble."

"I should have seen it. I should have been there with you."

She shrugged, her face dejected.

"There was nothing we could have done. Cerberus cheated, and they won."

"Hey. No." He took her face in his hand, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. "They cheated, but they haven't won. We know where they've gone. We can still get that data back. And don't worry about Kai Lang. Now that we've seen his dirty moves, next time, he's getting his ass kicked. Count on it."

Smiling faintly, she leaned into his touch.

"Maybe you're right."

"Maybe? You know I'm right." He flicked his wrist, and used his biotics to pull the blankets up around them. After dimming the lights, he placed his hand back onto her shoulder. "I hate seeing you feeling defeated like this. It's like when Udina grounded us. Remember that?"

Her smile grew.

"I remember you. That was the first time you really stopped acting like a soldier, and started acting like a friend."

"Yeah, there was almost a serious breach of protocol, if I remember correctly."

She looked up at him, and it seemed like life was returning to her eyes.

"Good thing Joker was listening in to keep us in line."

"He's not listening now though."

"Nope."

He kissed her gently, letting her pull him closer. He had only meant to reassure her of his support, but Shepard apparently had other ideas. Her fingers snaked through his hair, gripping tightly. He felt his worry, his stress, his anxiety melt away, and focused on her breathing, her touch, her love.

They slept soundly, wrapped up in each other, until they reached the Lera system. Shepard pulled the blanket back, and hissed under her breath as she looked at her leg. The dark green and black bruise spread from mid calf to her hip, and the raw pink skin of a healing cut shined out in stark contrast.

"Damn." Kaidan said, propping himself up on one arm. "Does it hurt?"

She poked it gingerly, and shook her head.

"It aches, but it doesn't really hurt anymore. Chakwas said one more application of medigel should take down the last of the swelling."

Kaidan grabbed a container of medigel off the bedside table, and gently spread it down her leg.

"What would I do without you?" Shepard asked, stretching her arms over her head.

"Apply your own medigel?" Kaidan laughed, and she grinned at him. _I am so glad to see that stupid grin. Part of me thought I'd never see it again. _

"Yeah. That would be a drag." She cocked her head, and looked at him seriously. "But if you hadn't been there on Earth, hadn't rejoined the crew on the Citadel... hadn't been in the hanger when we got back..."_  
><em>

He wiped the medigel off his hand, and hugged her tightly, her bare skin warm against his own.

"I told you. I'll always be your soft place, okay? Always be here when you need me." He kissed her forehead and pulled back. "Now... are you ready to go back to Horizon?"

She nodded, and patted his cheek lightly.

"Yeah. And this time... when I leave that damn planet, you're coming with me."

He grinned.

"Like I should have the first time."

"Yup." She grinned, and stood up. "Quick showers, Major, then we go suit up. can you call Vega and tell him he'll be joining us?"

"Can do, Commander."

She disappeared into the shower, and he leaned forward. _Maybe we can pull this off after all. _He shoved the small feeling of doubt into the back of his mind, and started looking for his pants.

Two hours later, they were on a shuttle headed for the planet's surface.

"So what the hell do we know about this place?" Vega grunted as he stared out the small window.

"EDI?" Shepard called out.

"The sanctuary facility was devoted to aiding refugees from Reaper controlled systems. The facility went offline recently, and no communications have come or gone since. It is unclear why Kai Leng or Cerberus would be interested in the facility."

"If there's a clue to Cerberus here, we find it." Shepard walked towards the cabin to stand behind Cortez. The shuttle pilot turned slightly to look back at her.

"Ma'am, I'm picking up a signal from the facility. It's weak, but I'll try and boost it."

Kaidan and Vega joined them in the small cockpit, leaning forward to listen to the faint transmission.

"This is Oriana Lawson. Stay away from Sanctuary!" The pleading voice sounded to be that of a teenage girl. "It's not what it seems! Please, you must listen to me! They're using-" A burst of static cut off the end of the message, and Shepard leaned back, a frown on her face.

"Oriana? That's Miranda's sister... If she's here, Miranda can't be far away."

"That is our link to Cerberus." EDI's voice chimed in.

As they approached the facility, Kaidan stepped over the Shepard.

"Miranda?"

"Miranda Lawson." Shepard folded her arms across her chest. "She was supposed to be my main Cerberus handler, along with Jacob. But I helped her relocate her younger twin-"

"Younger twin?"

"Long story. But yeah, helped her relocate Oriana away from their father, and eventually, she told the Illusive Man to fuck off. She's been hiding from him since I went into custody." She sighed deeply, adjusting her replacement armor. "She contacted me, last time we were on the Citadel. Said her sister had gone missing. She suspects her father is up to something." She nudged Kaidan in the chest. "You saw Miranda the last time we were on Horizon."

"Was she the grumpy looking lady in the Cerberus catsuit?"

Shepard snorted as she nodded.

"Approaching the LZ." Cortez called back. "Seeing some damage, Commander, but no activity."

Shepard opened the door and leaned out, and without thinking, Kaidan reached for her arm and pulled her back in. As the shuttle landed, Shepard turned back and faced him and Vega.

"Cerberus does not get the jump on us this time." She yelled over the engine. "Stay sharp!"

They stepped through the door, and surveyed the destruction around them. Vega whistled under his breath.

"Wow. Major firefight here, Commander."

"Yeah, but who was fighting?" As they continued to investigate, a loud roar echoed through the courtyard.

"Everyone hear that?" Shepard hissed, taking cover behind a fallen pillar. Kaidan tried to signal Cortez, to see if he had seen anything, but only got static.

"Radios down. Something's jamming our signals."

"Explains no comms leaving the facility." Shepard sighed. The whine of engines broke the momentary silence as a shuttle screamed overhead, leaving a trail of smoke.

"What the hell? Cerberus!" Vega yelled as the shuttle crashed into the side of the building. A flying Reaper husk shot past it, squealing menacingly.

"Harvester!" Kaidan called out, pointing towards the disappearing creature.

"I saw it!"

As they moved towards the entrance, they found the wreckage of several more Cerberus shuttles, as well as the mutilated corpses of Cerberus troops.

"Looks like they were evacuating." Kaidan said, shaking his head.

"And looks like the Reapers were gunning for 'em." Vega turned a body over with his foot, and glared at it.

"About time they started killing each other." There was a grim smile on Shepard's face as she yanked open the facility doors. They entered a large open room, and Kaidan wrinkled his nose at the smell of smoke and burning bodies.

"What happened here?" He asked.

"I don't know. Come on." Shepard picked her way through the rubble towards a security console. Kaidan hit a few buttons, and a screen flickered into life. It showed the room they were in, but full of people.

"Oh shit." Kaidan heard Shepard mutter. "There are whole families. Kids." She clenched her fists, and he put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. _There is no way Cerberus would kill that many refugees. What would be the point?_

"We are going to find them." He said levelly, even as he felt his own anger rising. "Everything is going to be okay. This is a refugee camp, remember?"

Vega came up behind them, and whistled again.

"Old security cam footage. People getting sorted out. That's... a big crowd."

Shepard turned away from the screen, averting her eyes from the suspiciously missing people.

"Come on, lets keep looking."

They made their way down a large staircase, and into another small courtyard. Several shuttles sat untouched under an open roof.

"Another landing zone." Kaidan ran his hand over the cold metal. _These engines haven't been run in a long time. _

"Yeah, all those transports outside were waiting in line." Vega followed him over, and investigated one of the shuttles. Shepard hung back, anxiously gripping her assault rifle.

"But where are all the people they brought?" She asked quietly.

Then left the courtyard, and entered the lower level of the facility.

"Got some bodies." Vega called out as he leaned over a pile of Cerberus troops.

"Casualties. Both sides." Shepard responded, glaring down at the corpse of a Marauder. Kaidan walked past them, and examined the large window at the far end of the room. It looked out on the sweeping landscapes of the planet, and he felt a twinge of deja vu. _Why is Horizon always burning? _He turned away from the view, and shook his head at Shepard.

"Just an observation deck. Looks like a dead end."

"We need an exit. Keep looking!"

As they checked out the a small hallway, a security console kicked on, and a woman's voice repeated on a loop. Shepard skidded to a halt, staring at the screen.

"Wait, this video... it's Miranda!" She hit a few buttons, and brought up the whole video.

"This is Miranda Lawson..." The recording said. "If you've managed to get this far, you must be desperate or stupid. Listen to me. This is not a refugee camp. This is a Cerberus facility run by my father, Henry Lawson. Turn back now. There is no hope to be found here. All communication is being blocked by the central tower. Sanctuary is a lie. Stay away."

"Okay." Shepard stepped away from the console and sighed. "So we've got Cerberus, Reapers, and Miranda's crazy father. Any ideas how this all fits?"

Kaidan and Vega shook their heads.

"How crazy is Miranda's father?" Kaidan asked as they continued down the hallway.

"Let's see... he genetically engineered Miranda to be his perfect legacy, and when she ran away at age eighteen, he created a second daughter from her leftover DNA."

"Hence the teenaged twin?"

"Yup. But Miranda stole her, and hid her. He's been on the hunt for them both ever since." She sighed as she forced another door open. "Kinda makes me glad I never knew my family. They seem to be nothing but trouble."

"Hey. What did I tell you before? We're your family."

She grinned as the door opened.

"Like I said. Nothing but trouble."

The door lead them to yet another courtyard, this one much larger than the others. Most of the space was taken up by a large pond, with several ornamental fountains. _This is one high class refugee camp. _Shepard wandered around the pond's edge, peering into it.

"This looks deep." She frowned, and turned towards a small console. "A security panel. Shutting it down..."

The ground shook violently, and the water level in the pond began to drop.

"What's happening?" Kaidan yelled, holding on to an decorative potted plant. The shaking stopped, and Shepard leaned over the edge of the former pond.

"They needed to hide something." She bit her lip. "Okay. We have a backdoor into the facility. Let's move."

They slide down a ladder, and slowly walked past large dripping machinery.

"I don't understand. Why would you build all this technology only to conceal it?"

Shepard shrugged at him as they located another set of doors. Forcing them open, they found the walls covered in dark black pipes. Kaidan shuddered as he stared at the metal.

"I'd recognize Reaper technology anywhere, Commander. I don't know how, but Cerberus is using it for something. Doesn't look good."

"And Miranda's caught in the middle. Let's pick up the pace."

"No refugee ever saw this part of Sanctuary." Kaidan breathed deeply as Shepard jogged down a dark corridor. A feeling of foreboding washed over him, and he called out to her as he and Vega tried to catch up.

"This is going to get ugly, Shepard! Nothing good ever came out of Reaper tech!"

When they reached her, she was kneeling near a large console, trying to get it working.

"This is some kind of control center. No power though." He reached over, and flipped a few switches. Lights flickered on, and a security video came to life. Immediately, Kaidan wished it hadn't.

People were trapped in large tubes, frantically pounding at the glass as smoke poured up around them. The video feed had no sound, but he could tell by their faces that they were all screaming. He tried to look away, but couldn't drag his eyes from the screen.

"What's happening? Those are the refugees! They're just rounding them up and slaughtering them!"

"Worse." Shepard pointed as the smoke cleared. "They're being turned into husks."

Sure enough, the refugees had been transformed into the horrible creatures they had first seen on Eden Prime so many years ago.

"Holy. Shit." Vega muttered. Kaidan felt sick. _How could people do that to their own? What kind of monster is this Henry Lawson guy?_

Shepard left the console, and stood in front of a large set of window. The room beyond was pitch black, and her fingers fumbled for a button.

"Maybe you shouldn't..." Kaidan called out, but she had already found it. As the lights turn on in the large room, the wailing scream of husks filled the air. They scattered like roaches, and started crawling up the wall.

"Fuck." Shepard muttered, and yelled in surprise as a husk threw itself at the window, landing right in front of her. Shaking his head, Kaidan came up behind her.

"So many people slaughtered. Why? So they can prove they can make a husk? What's the point?"

"The Reapers attacked because this place was a threat. We need to find out why." She turned back towards the security console, and started the paused video. The face of Miranda Lawson filled the small screen.

"Reaper forces have made a mess of the facility. I'm shutting off the power to the processing plant to lock them down! This should keep them out of the entrance as well." The woman walked off the screen, but the video feed continued. Shepard ran the video forward, and swore under her breath when the figure of Kai Leng appeared onscreen. Kaidan grabbed her arm.

"Kai Leng! She won't know he's here!"

The man spoke into his communicator, glancing up at the terminals.

"Miranda Lawson has arrived sooner than expected. You want me to deal with her?"

"Only if she gets in your way." The Illusive Man sounded weary, almost bored. "Stay focused on the research data. Find it and get out."

"Yes, Sir." The video cut to static.

"Dammit! Let's move!" Shepard grabbed her assault rifle, and opened the nearest door. Hearing the patter of unsteady feet running towards them, Kaidan sent a wave of energy down the corridor.

"Husks!"

"Not surprised!" Shepard yelled back, filling the stunned creatures with holes.

"There's gotta be more where they came from!"

They crept through the facility, and Kaidan wished it was silent. Silence would have meant they were alone. The distant noise the husks made came through the wall, keeping the squad on edge. When they made it to a small workstation, Shepard signaled everyone to stop.

"Wait, more security terminals. Maybe MIranda left another message." She booted up the system, but instead of MIranda's accented speech, the voice of an unknown make spoke instead.

"I spent the last week making small adjustments to increase processing efficiency. there is no shortage of subjects..."

"Subjects?" Shepard clenched her fists.

"...Long line outside the main gate. deception is an unfortunate necessity, time is very short."

"Shepard..." Kaidan said, his stomach turning. "I think we've already found the refugees."

Vega swore in Spanish, his voice so low that Kaidan's translator didn't pick up what was said. _I don't think I want to know._ Growling under her breath, Shepard hit a button on the next log entry. When the man started talking again, Kaidan noticed he spoke with the same accent as Miranda.

"We've confirmed the results of Cerberus experiments concerning the husk creatures..." The scream of a Banshee interrupted the log, and the squad dove for cover.

"Shitshitshitshit." Vega hissed, adjusting his ammo. "Major, you think disrupter rounds will work on those bitches?"

"It's worth a shot!"

The creature screamed again, and Shepard frowned.

"It's not getting any closer... where is it?" She poked her head around the desk she was crouched behind. "I don't think it's coming. Maybe it doesn't know where we are..." She stood up, and cautiously made her way across the room.

"Shepard! Get back!" Kaidan called as loudly as he dared. She shook her head, and lowered her gun with an evil grin on her face.

"You guys should see this."

Joining her, Kaidan looked around a large wall to see the Banshee. It was behind a thick pane of glass, glaring at them furiously. Its long fingers scratched at the glass, but made no marks; A flare of its biotics only bounced back, the creature was trapped.

"Holy shit." Vega said, his mouth open. "You were not fucking kidding about how creepy those things are."

Kaidan looked away. The grotesque monster wasn't something he wanted to look at any longer than he had to. Finding another console, he activated the log while Shepard studied the Banshee through the glass.

"..work with subject Paul Grayson provided a key element to our work here. His use of the addictive drug red sand to break down will was inspired. but provided unreliable for general application. We've proven that adrenaline and its cross species equivalents is most effective and efficient. The pursuit of efficiency has revealed a crucial fact. the Reapers use of dragon teeth to create husks is ingenious. The Reaper nanites attach themselves to the adrenaline glands and quickly move through the body to speed conversion to the final husk state."

"What kind of monster does this to people?" He put his hands on the console and stared down at his feet. "I don't understand."

_My entire career has been about trying to help people. Save them. Protect them from harm. How could someone actively do this to another person? _He felt his stomach turn again. He had seen unimaginable horrors while serving as a Marine, but somehow this was he worst thing he had ever encountered. Shepard came up behind him, and ducked her head to make eye contact.

"I don't either." A look of concern crossed her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Let's just get out of here as fast as we can."

"Right."

They left the Banshee, after Shepard discovered there was no way in or out of its room. Continuing through the facility, they fought their way through several waves of husks before reaching another commander center.

The only console in the room was sending off sparks from a damaged panel, and Shepard groaned.

"Terminal's damaged."

"Hang on." Kaidan knelt down and scanned the panel with his omnitool. "I can fix this. Give me a moment." He overloaded the power to shut down the system, and set about repairing the connections.

"Maybe we'll get some answers as to why the Reapers want this place shut down." Vega leaned up against a bank of disabled terminals and stretched his arms over his head.

"It doesn't make sense." Shepard slumped beside the Lieutenant. "I thought Cerberus and the Reapers were getting along. What changed?"

The last connection reset, Kaidan rebooted the console and stood up.

"Got it, Shepard."

They clustered around the screen as Miranda appeared again.

"I'm heading to the tower to disable the communications scrambler. I have to get word out. Some refugees are turned into husks. Some are indoctrinated and shipped to the Illusive Man. Who ever is left is used in experiments. The data indicates my father is trying to figure out how Reaper indoctrination works."

"Tricking refugees with food and shelter, only to turn them into test subjects. And for what?" Shepard shook her head with disgust.

"Bait and switch." Vega shared her sour expression. "I can't believe it."

_Wait, if they are sending things from here, they have to have manifests, destinations..._

"The shipments!" Kaidan blurted out. "They might lead to the Illusive Man!"

"Good catch!" Shepard smiled at him, then looked thoughtful. "Miranda said she was heading to the tower."

"Huh. That guy is someone's father? I'm starting to see why she left."

Shepard made a noise that might have been a laugh, and they moved to the next room. The small smile she that had crept onto her face slide back off. Several large tubes lined the room, filled with the bodies of husks, and refugees still in the conversion process.  
>Kaidan turned away quickly, some of the husks were small. Shepard refused to avert her gaze, taking in the whole of the waking nightmare. Without taking her eyes off the tubes, her hand found the button that controlled the research logs.<p>

"Creating these husk creatures was our first success. While not true husks, they still respond to Reaper signals. More work ahead, but we are moving forward."

"When we find this bastard..." Vega started, but Shepard held up her hand and activated the next log.

"We're very close. Understanding the indoctrination process is one thing. But turning it to our advantage is proving to be quite another. This is assembly line science. The sheer brute force of numbers and repetition should be doing the thinking for us. Effective, but discovery happens at a pace."

"We need to find Miranda." Shepard spoke very slowly and deliberately. "Let's get out of this room, now."

Kaidan had never been happier to follow an order. He felt like every nerve in his body was on fire, and not the way it did when he looked at Shepard. This was a deep rage, something he hadn't felt since the incident at BAaT. Once they were out of the horrible room, Shepard took a deep breath.

"Okay, there is another console over there."

"I really hope it's Miranda, and not another research log." Kaidan said. "I don't think I can deal with more of those right now."

"No kidding." Vega agreed. Thankfully, the video was of Miranda, she was rapidly entering commands into a large terminal, and speaking rapidly.

"Heavy resistance outside the tower! If you're receiving this, I have evidence you can't ignore! Confirmation that my father is working for the Illusive Man!" The video feed went to static, and an electronic monotone chirped out at them.

"Connection Established."

When the video clicked back on, Miranda was gone, replaced by the holographic form of the Illusive Man, and the well dressed Henry Lawson.

"I have your report on the process, Mr. Lawson. Cut to the chase. Can you do it?"

"Theoretically, control is possible. The Reaper subjects we convert are responding, but it's difficult to maintain."

"I thought that might be the case. With Sanctuary's help, we'll get it sorted."

Kaidan felt his mouth open in shock.

"To have control over Reaper forces... amazing."

"Is that possible?" Vega added. Shepard shrugged, her face pale in the light of the screen.

"Wait, I'll play the rest of it." The video skipped ahead to a later date. Again, Henry Lawson met with the Illusive Man.

"We've done it. We've found a way to co-op their control signal. As long as the Reaper troops remain in close proximity to our signal, we can maintain control indefinitely."

"Excellent news. And how can we extrapolate this technique to apply to the Reapers themselves?"

"That's a much bigger challenge." The video feel ran out, and the screen filled with static. Shepard turned away from the screen, and breathed out heavily.

"Now we know why the Reapers attacked Sanctuary."

"They found out what Cerberus was up to." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had never managed to shake. "Bad news for the Illusive Man."

"But good news for us. We finally have our link to Cerberus. Okay, lowering the access ladder. Come on, let's move." As she moved towards the ladder than dropped out of the ceiling, movement behind them caught Kaidan's eye.

"Shepard, wait! there's more on the video!"

They turned in time to see the footage switch back to Miranda, the woman fell to her knees as Kai Leng struck her heavily.

"Dammit!" Shepard turned back to the ladder and ran towards it. "I hope she's ready for him!"

She scrambled up the ladder, Vega behind her, and Kaidan last. As they ran through the facility, he felt the silent rage growing. _I can control it now. Not like before. Dammit, I want to rip apart the men who made this place. _He let the anger become part of him, and followed Shepard into the darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The scream of a Banshee followed the squad down a long hallway, the loud crack of its biotic surge growing louder as it moved towards them.

"Shepard?" Kaidan called out, flaring his own biotics.

"Look for an exit!" She yelled back, taking a knee to aim her rifle. Kaidan glanced around furiously.

"It's locked!"

"Unlock it"

"No time!" Roared Vega. "She's on us!"

Kaidan threw his power out in a wave, straining to hold the creature back as she reached towards his squadmates. Vega's high powered weaponry and disrupter rounds seemed to work well, the Banshee was dispatched much faster than ones previously encountered. As Kaidan let his power drop, Shepard stood up and put her hand on his arm.

"Is your amp okay? Do you need a minute?"  
>He took her hand, and let the blue lightning of his power crawl gently up her arm. There was no strain, no ache, just the slight tingle in his fingertips. He shook his head at her, and the blue glow vanished.<p>

"No. I'm good. Let's keep going."

She smiled grimly and he turned away, overloading the lock to let them through into the next room. Vega checked for other exits, while Shepard made her way to a bank of terminals.

"This log is recent... maybe we can find out what happened..."

Henry Lawson's usually calm voice was frantic, harried.

"We have underestimated the strength of the Reaper signal. They are here! The Reapers somehow know what we've learned about them. They have a weakness! I'm compiling our research data to archive before it's too late. Cerberus sent troops to defend the facility against Reapers..." The feed ended with a crack of static, cutting off whatever Lawson was going to say next.

"Are there any more?" Shepard asked. "Do you think he had time to make another one? Maybe Oriana made one?"

"I don't see... wait..." Kaidan stepped in front of an row of tubes. Thankfully, these did not contain the bodies of refugees. He hit the log recall button, and immediately regretted it.

"Oh god, I can't move!" The ghostly voice of a panicked woman echoed through the room. "Oh god, what's happening! No!" Kaidan couldn't move, he was frozen to the ground, listening to her screaming. Shepard ran over, and hit the button to stop the recording.

"Shepard... do you think... any of these people were from the colony?"

"From when you were stationed here?"

"Yeah. I mean, the ones that weren't carried off by the Collectors..."

"I wish I could say no." She looked at him sadly. "But they probably are. I'm sorry."

"Shepard, I found a way out!" Vega called out from the end of the room, and Kaidan took a deep breath. He felt the rage growing, but was determined to master it.

The exit Vega had found was an access hatch to a large tram, and Shepard studied it, talking to Kaidan over her shoulder.

"If we get on top of this... can you get it moving?"

"Probably."

"Good."

She backed up, and took a running jump onto the tram, Vega grumbled to himself and followed her, Kaidan close behind. He knelt down over a small hatch, and scanned the controls with his omnitool, after a few moments of adjustment, the tram lurched to life. Shepard stood at the front, leaning into the slight breeze as they moved through the facility. Her short hair had grown since they had left Earth, what had been just below her ears then, was now past her chin. It blew in the wind, subverting her attempts to keep it behind her ears. _How have I not noticed it's longer? I guess I don't really look at her hair that much. _He frowned. _Should hair grow that fast? Well, Chakwas did say Cerberus messed with her cells to make her cells heal and grow faster. I guess that applies to hair as well. She'll be happy about that. I know how much she hates having short hair. She looks good, even with all her scars. _As he watched her stand with her eyes closed, he felt the horrible anger in his chest subside a small amount. _I'm going to go crazy with these mood swings. I feel like a damn teenager. _

"This will get us close to the tower." Shepard said, a smug tone of satisfaction in her voice. Vega kept watch behind her, his large gun scanning the surrounding buildings, and when the tram slowed to a halt, they jumped off, and ran into the base of the tower.

Shepard slowed to a jog as they entered a large room, motioning with her hand for silence. She took cover behind a large pillar, clutching her rifle to her chest as a loud crash came from the next room.

"Banshee?" Kaidan whispered, but Shepard shook her head.

"We should be so lucky."

"What?"

Before she could answer, the doors to the next room flew off their rails, and a hideous creature burst into the room. It had the body of a Krogan, all bulk and muscle, but the elongated head of a Turian.

"What the fuck is that?" Kaidan's jaw dropped as the monster roared towards them. Shepard and Vega ducked out of the way, dragging him behind them. A large claw swung into the empty air they have previously occupied.

"Fucking Brute!" Yelled Vega over the sound of his assault rifle.

"Stay out of its range!" Shepard screamed, and turned to fire on the Brute as well. Kaidan faltered as he started to reach out with his biotics, he had noticed the hybrid's other hand tucked around its midsection. _Oh god, it's holding in its organs._ With a final roar, the Brute collapsed to the floor, bleeding from the holes Shepard and Vega had put in it.

"Remember when I mentioned these?" Shepard asked, nudging the monster with her boot. "Nasty fuckers. We started seeing them when we were on Palavan's moon."

"Damn."

Whatever Shepard was going to say next was interrupted by another Brute tearing its way through the open door. Several of the humanoid husks followed it, their high pitched squealing eerie in the dimly lit room. Kaidan reached out and grabbed Shepard's arm.

"If you and Vega take down the little ones, I have an idea."

She nodded quickly.

"Right. Be careful."

They stepped out on opposite sites of their cover, Shepard joining Vega in rapid gunfire, keeping the husks from getting too close. Kaidan felt his power growing, and threw it out in a surge. He felt it wrap around the Brute's midsection, catching on the delicate organs the creature was trying to contain. _You shouldn't exist._ He twitched his fingers, pulling the blue lightning back towards him, ripping the insides away from the Brute. It roared, and collapsed in a growing puddle of dark blood.

"Shit, Major." Vega wiped the sweat off his forehead and nodded approvingly. "Never even thought of that."

"No kidding." Shepard added. "When we get back to the Normandy, I'll have to tell Hackett about that. These bastards have been giving too much trouble." She clapped Kaidan on the back, and looked around. "Okay, how do you think we get up this tower?"

Kaidan pointed towards the torn off doors at the far end of the room.

"They're all coming out of that room over there..."

"Then lets get up there!" She took of running, Vega shook his head and followed, his arms pumping to keep up. Sweeping his eyes over the room one last time, Kaidan followed when he was sure all of the creatures were dead. _She's normally so much more cautious. If she's charging off like this, she must be really worried. _When he reached the lift, Shepard glared at him impatiently. _I know you want to get this bastard, but we can't get sloppy now. We're too close!_ As the elevator carried them up, Shepard rocked on her heels, her boots clicking softly. _  
><em>

"Get ready..." She murmured, more to herself then the squad.

When the doors finally opened, they crept into the tower control room, guns drawn. A groan came from the floor, and Shepard inhaled sharply at the sight of Miranda Lawson's crumpled body. The woman stirred as the squad stepped forward, pulling herself up to stare at them with worried eyes.

"Shepard..."

As Shepard clipped her rifle to her back, movement in the corner of the room drew everyone's attention. The man from the video stepped out of the shadows, holding a teenage girl in front of him like a shield, gun aimed at Shepard. _You complete monster. All of these experiments, betraying the trust of your own people, and now you hide behind a child?_ The anger rose again, filling his blood with fire. Surprisingly, Shepard remained calm, slowing drawing her own sidearm.

"Commander Shepard. Excellent timing." Henry Lawson sneered at them, his face a mask of contempt.

"Put the gun down." Shepard said levelly.

"No." The man scoffed. "Oriana tried to shoot me. Miranda's poisonous influence, no doubt." As he glanced between the sisters, Kaidan realized Shepard wasn't kidding about the twin thing. They were identical, save for the slight lines of age on Miranda's face.

"I'm sorry she missed." Shepard continued. "Where's Kai Leng?"

"I don't know. Gone. He took my research and left us here to die." _I wish I felt sorry for you. __But I don't. You deserve to die for what you've done._ Not taking her eyes off Lawson, Shepard tilted her head towards Miranda.

"Miranda, can you hear me?"

"Yes." Pulling herself to her knees, Miranda grabbed the edge of a table and stood, taking several steps towards her father. The man swung his gun towards her, then back to Shepard.

"That's close enough. Both of you. Kai Leng didn't finish the job, but I will."

"This ends here." Shepard's eyes narrowed, she adjusted her pistol, and took a small step towards him. In response, Lawson tightened his grip on his terrified younger daughter, and backed up towards a large glass wall overlooking the facility.

"On the contrary. Now that the Reapers are taken care of, we have a way out!"

"Let her go." _I've seen Shepard in several standoffs, and people tend to not survive them, she doesn't back down__. I think I'm the only one who's walked away. _But unlike their impasse, there was no pleading look in her eyes, no softness to her voice. There was just cold fury, battle hardness.

"Shepard, don't let him take her!" Miranda cried out, reaching a futile hand out towards her sister.

"What exactly do you think you've created here?" Shepard never took her eyes from Lawson. They stood, guns draw, eyes locked.

"Hope. Few people have the stomach to do what it takes to survive. What we learned here will save countless lives. I will be seen as the savior of the human race." _If Shepard doesn't kill you, I will. You are too fucking crazy to exist. The savior of the race? All of those people you killed..._

"I doubt that." Shepard glanced at Miranda, and the former Cerberus agent gave an almost imperceptible nod. When Shepard looked back at Henry Lawson, her face softened, the aim on her pistol lowered. "I have... no problem with you. I just want Oriana and the research data."

_WHAT. _

"You want a lot."

"You get your life in return." _Shepard, no! He has to be put down! _"How much is that worth?" She circled to the side, away from Miranda. Lawson's face wrinkled, as if he was contemplating her offer.

"Alright. Take her." He shoved the young girl to the floor, and she slid a few feet on her knees. Vega stepped forward and carefully picked her up, as if she weighed nothing at all. "But I want out alive."

Off to the man's left, Kaidan watched Miranda flare a considerable amount of biotics. The blue glow slowly filled the room, but Lawson was too fixated on Shepard to notice.

_Oh. _

"Deal?" He asked, reaching a hand out for Shepard to shake.

"No deal." Miranda stepped forward and shoved him through the large glass window with a powerful blue surge. She watched him fly backwards, a look of shock and horror frozen on his face. The control room was at a considerable height, the sicking crunch of his body hitting the ground seemed to take forever. Turning away from the now open window, Miranda rushed forward and hugged her sister, pulling her in tightly.

"Did he hurt you? Are you alright?" She smoothed the hair of her younger twin, breathing heavily. "Its okay, Ori. You're safe now." After a moment, the teen pulled away, looking out at the sky.

"I'm fine. I just... I wanna get out of here."

"We will. Give me a minute, okay?"

"Commander Shepard." She sat her sister down in a desk chair, and walked over to Shepard. "Fancy meeting you here."

Kaidan stepped away, noticing a working console in the corner of the room. _Maybe I can find the data Kai Leng wanted. Figure out what Cerberus is planning. Lawson was a bastard, but he was still working under the Illusive Man's orders.  
><em>

"We caught a break. You alright?" Shepard's voice was muffled, but was the only sound in the room, besides the slight tinkling of broken glass falling to the ground and the hiss of the wind.

"I'll be fine. Really. I don't know how you managed it, but I'm grateful you're here."

"How did you do all this?"

"Finding my father didn't take long once I confirmed he worked for the Illusive Man." She sighed deeply. "I just had to follow the lies. Once I saw what this place really was... I couldn't just walk away."

"Of course."

"Things got really complicated when Reapers showed up... and Kai Leng." She groaned slightly, probably still aching from where she had gotten hit by the assassin.

"You survived. Not many people could do that."

"When you mentioned he was involved, I took a few precautions. Probably saved my life."

Kaidan glared at the console, whatever data Kai Leng had wanted, he had wiped off the systems after he had taken it. Everything else was intact, but a red warning light signaled a gaping hole in the mainframe. He sighed, and turn around to look at Shepard and Miranda, silhouetted in front of the window. The setting sun shone into his eyes, but he continued to watch them. _She always manages to take the time to talk to people. Even though she wants to chase Kai Leng, she still stops to make sure her friends are alright. _

"Miranda, this whole thing was a huge risk. You should have told me." Shepard threw her hands up with exasperation. Miranda cocked her head to the side, and shook it.

"You have a war to win, Shepard! This was my fight. It's been a long time coming."

"You did it. It's over."

"Yes." They leaned out the window, staring down to the ground. "I just wish my sister didn't have to see all this."

Tentatively, Shepard reached a hand out again. It hovered over Miranda's shoulder, as if she was unsure of the situation.

"About your father..." She started.

"I'm glad he's gone, Shepard. I'm sorry if that sounds cold."

"No, I understand."

"It's finally over." Miranda walked away from the window and put her arms around her sister. "For both of us. We can stop running."

"Yes. You can." A tight smile on her face, Shepard walked towards Kaidan, and looked down at the console. "What's our status? Any intel we can use from this place?" He shrugged, and gestured to the red blinking lights.

"The research data's gone. But there's basic facility information. Shuttle arrivals and departures. Cerberus included. No direct links, but its a good start."

She sighed, the smile fading.

"Grab anything you can off the computer. We'll take it back to be analyzed."

"I can do better than that." Miranda called from the other side of the room.

"What?" Shepard spun around and stared at the smug expression on Miranda's face. The woman held up a small datapad, shaking it slightly.

"Before Kai Leng took off... I planted a tracer on him. If you act fast, you'll track him right to the Illusive Man."

Shepard's face broke out in a broad grin like a child on Christmas.

"Tracer... sounds like you thought of everything!"

Miranda laughed, and ran a hand through her hair self conciously.

"Not quite, but... nobody's perfect."

Shepard practically hugged the startled woman, and clutched the datapad to her chest.

"Thanks, Miranda! This is... exactly what we need!"

"I thought you might need some good news."

"Damn right." Shepard ran a hand through her hair. "What's next for you two?"

"Get her someplace safe."

"Okay. I gotta follow all this up." Kaidan had to smother a laugh, Shepard was practically bouncing with excitement.

"I'll be in touch, Shepard. Soon."

"I hope so." The women stared at each other, then hugged briefly. After letting go of Shepard, Miranda put a arm around her sister and walked toward the lift.

"Come on, Ori. We've had enough of father's hospitality."

As they disappeared from view, Kaidan finished scanning in all of the Sanctuary data. _Sanctuary. What a cruel joke of a name. How many people came here, thinking they would be safe from the Reapers, only to fall prey to Lawson and the Illusive Man?_ The more he thought about it, the more tense he got. Angrily jabbing at the console, the faces of the colonists he had known of Horizon flashed before his eyes. Sure, they had been annoying pricks, making their dislike of him very obvious, but he had been tasked to protect them. He hung his head, sighing deeply. _And now I've failed them a second time. _The sound of footsteps brought him back to reality, Shepard stood before him, looking exhausted, but excited. She looked confused as she studied his face, and reached over to the console, setting up an audio feed.

"Lets make sure everyone knows about this place." She hit a few more buttons, and looked up at him. "Let's go. I've had enough of this place."

As they walked away, the sound of Miranda's warning began playing on a loop, warning people away from the death and despair of Sanctuary.

"Commander, Cortez is gonna meet us on the roof." Vega called out. The Lieutenant stood near an open door that lead to a flight of stairs. They followed him up and out into the twilight of the colony.

The shuttle was waiting for them, hovering slightly above the gravel of the tower's roof. Vega heaved himself on board, and Shepard stepped up behind him. Kaidan stopped, taking one last moment to look out over Horizon. _I never want to come back here._ _This planet will haunt me until I die._ Gripping a railing, she swung back, pivoting to face him. She extended her hand to him, and grinned broadly.

"Major? You coming with me this time?" He took her hand, and climbed up after her. They sat quietly, watching the facility slip away through the clouds as they climbed into the sky. Kaidan felt his dark mood returning, Not even Shepard's buoyant excitement could lessent he rage he felt settling into his bones.

He sat in silence, listening to her breathing as they returned to the Normandy. When they landed, she stood and faced him.

"I have to go report to Hackett, and give this information to Traynor and EDI." He nodded. "You okay?"

"Fine. I'll be in my office, finishing up some stuff."

"Right." She looked unconvinced. "I'll come find you when I'm done." She practically leapt off the shuttle, and ran towards the elevator.

"Man." Vega said, shaking his head. "She really wants to nail Cerberus."

"Don't we all?"

"I guess." Vega shrugged as they waited for the lift to return. "But I've never seen her this excited about anything."

"Well, better excited Shepard than horribly depressed Shepard, right?"

"Heh. Yeah."

When they reached the crew deck, they parted ways, Vega heading towards the lounge with the rest of the crew, Kaidan going to his office. He glanced at his datapads, scanning for any news from his friends. There was nothing from his mother, or from Stevens, but there was a short note from Colin and the rest of his students.

"Major!

One of Admiral Anderson's recon squads found us, and pulled us out of Chicago. They also found L squad out in the middle of Texas. We're traveling quick, heading to meet up with the main force. They say you'll find out where in a briefing, they don't want me to write it here. But we are all alive, and hope to see you soon.

Oh. Astra and Jennifer say hi. Don't tell them I told you this, but they're pretty scared. I'm watching out for them though. Gotta look after my girls, you know?

Anyway, assuming we make it, we'll hopefully be seeing you soon.

PFC Colin Highstorm Jr."

Dropping the datapad on the couch, Kaidan stood and walked over to the window. He leaned against it, letting the coolness of the glass seep into his skin. He still felt warm, the remnants of his anger flush in his cheeks. He felt emotions wash over him like waves as he thought about Cerberus and Horizon; fear, grief, shame, anger. Anger came stronger every time, and he bit his lip to fight it back. _I haven't felt this confused and conflicted since BAaT got shut down. I don't know what to think. _He was trying so hard to calm himself that he didn't hear Shepard enter the room. She joined him at the window, leaning her back against it to look at him.

"Are you okay?"

"I can't believe what I just saw.., what Cerberus did. After everything we did trying to help those people on Horizon."

She looked over at him, her eyes full of concern.

"I'm sorry."

"I mean, I know you get upset when civilians get caught in these messes, and I know I told you everyone was involved now..." He put his elbows on his knees, and rested his face in his hands. "But some of those refugees were my people. This feels personal."

She nodded slowly, and stayed quiet. Before he knew what was going on, he was letting everything in his head spill out.

"Can you feel it Shepard? Feel the quickening?" He tightened his fist. "The Illusive Man better say his prayers tonight. Because we are coming for him. Murderous asshole. Oh yeah. The tide is turning. I feel it."

"I've never heard you talk like this before." She reached a hand out for his face, running her thumb down his jaw. "You always keep your cool, hold your temper."

"After what I saw down there, I've never been more filled with rage."

"The experiments at Sanctuary really got to you."

"Huh. Sanctuary." He leaned against her, letting her steady him for once. "The Illusive Man's obviously crazy, but bring him on. Cases like this, I don't mind killing crazy."

Shepard looked up at him, and grinned, a wicked smile that usually meant something was about to happen.

"Good, cause that's where we're going." She sighed, her shoulder digging into his chest for a brief moment. "I have a ton of work to do before then, because once we start get there, everything gets set in motion."

"What?" He leaned away, and took several steps back. "Where are we going? And what do you mean everything gets set in motion?"

She followed him away from the window and sat on the couch, gesturing for him to follow.

"Where following Kai Leng to Cerberus's base. Bringing the fight to them. But once we get there, Hackett says the Reapers will know we're on the offense. Once we hit the Illusive Man at his base, we're meeting up with the fleet, and going back to Earth." She sighed again, streching her arms over her head. "I'll be upstairs, I have to make sure everything is coordinated."

"Need to be alone right now?"

She smiled apologetically.

"Kinda. yeah."

"Will you sleep?"

"Sure." The smile turned into her lying face as she stood. "Kaidan, don't fixate on the people you couldn't save. Remember what that almost did to me?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good. Be strong. Go be with the rest of the crew. We're going to see this through." She kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you later. We have about fourteen hours till we hit the Cerberus Base."

He followed her out of the room, and left her at the elevator. _She's right. I can't lose focus now. We have to support each other, carry on to the end. Not long now..._ The somber mood of the crew lounge lightened when he passed on Shepard's news.

"We're going home?" Vega practically knocked over the poker table in his excitement. Cortez, Donnelly and Gabby protested the shaking, but soon joined in his enthusiasm. The alien members of the crew were also excited, although there were shadows of sadness over both Garrus and Liara.

"Don't worry." Vega said, slapping Garrus on the back. "After we take back Earth, we'll go get Palaven and Thessia."

"Cerberrrrrusss firsttt!" The voice of Tali called out. Kaidan glanced around the room, but failed to see the small Quarian anywhere.

"Behind the bar." Liara hissed, and Kaidan peered over the edge. Tali was sprawled out on the floor, several pillows arranged delicately around her.

"What happened?"

"Turian brandy." Liara glared at Garrus, who looked away guiltily.

They dealed him into the poker game, and played for a few hours, the humans stopping occasionally to talk about Earth, how excited they were to be going back to their home planet, and what they were going to do when the war was over. _I hate to be a killjoy, and bring up the fact that we might not win... _He looked up at Liara, and could tell in her eyes she was thinking the same thing.

"What's Shepard doing?" She asked as the ship circled around a relay, waiting for several refugee ships to go through ahead of them. The looming shape of the relay taking up most of the window.

"She said paperwork. But I'm pretty sure she's just obsessing over details. There really isn't that much she can do at this point." Garrus coughed slightly, and Liara gave her head a slight nod. The Turian stood up from the table, and pushed his chair back.

"I'm going to go get something for Tali. I'll be right back." He disappeared for a few minutes, and returned with more pillows.

"Are those yours?" Vega asked, grinning widely.

"I just want to make sure she doesn't snag her suit on anything."

Vega snorted, and looked across the table to where Gabby had fallen asleep on Donnelly's shoulder.

"Fucking love boat."

The poker game continued for another hour, until Vega himself started nodding off at the table.

"We should all get some proper rest." Liara said with a yawn. "Who knows when we are going to get to sleep again?" With a wave of her hand, she stood up from the table and left the room. Donnelly shook Gabby awake, and they followed Cortez and Vega towards the crew cabin.

"Are you going to leave her there?" Kaidan gestured to Tali, who was snoring gently on the floor behind the bar.

"No, I'll take her down to her hammock. You sleeping in your office tonight?"

"Yeah, Shepard said she needed time to figure out some things."

"Right." Garrus knelt down and gently gather Tali in his arms, cradling her against his chest. She mumbled incoherently, and tucked her head against his arm. "Well, see you in a few hours."

"Right." Kaidan headed back towards his office, not looking forward to a night on the couch. _I was really getting used to sleeping in a proper bed. _He sat down, and reached over to his datapad. _Wait, what the hell is that?_ A bottle of wine sat on the small table next to the couch, a small datapad propped up against it. Confused, Kaidan walked over to the table and picked up the datapad.

"Major,

There isn't that much paperwork.

Make her sleep.

-Archangel and Shadow Broker."

Setting down the datapad with a smile, he picked up the bottle. _This is nice stuff... I wonder what they were saving it for?  
><em>

He left his office, stopping by the mess to grab two glasses, and stepped into the lift. _If this is the last night we ever have, I'm not letting her spend it alone. _

The elevator stopped, and he stayed on it, taking deep breaths. _Be calm, be positive. Don't let her see your anxiety. She can't know you think this might be the end of everything. _With a final deep breath, he steadied his shoulders, and walked towards the cabin door.

(A/N next chapter might be a bit shorter than most, but it will hopefully be a good chapter. Still no date on the extended cut! :( Come on Bioware! It's almost summer! I can't leave people hanging while I wait for it! Also, I totally need an icon for my story. It would be nice if I had any photoshop skills. If anyone is bored and wants to make one for any (or all 3) of my epic saga, I would love you forever.)


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

When the cabin doors opened, Shepard was pacing nervously, a datapad in hand. She looked up with a startled expression when Kaidan walked in, and sighed, her shoulders sagging. With a quick glance, he took in the piles of datapads strewn across her desk, and the half drunk mug of coffee next to her terminal.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, as she continued to pace.

"No." She said miserably, scrolling through her datapad.

"Making yourself crazy with this won't help." He held up the bottle and walked past her towards the small stairs.

"Kaidan... I need to..." Shepard protested, but he cut her off with a smile.

"Shhh. Just take five minutes. A quick drink. Then I'll go."

She watched as he stepped down towards the table, and sighed.

"Five minutes."

As she dropped the datapad on her desk, he stole a glance at it. _Looks like the fleets are on the move... Damn, she's mobilized the entire galaxy! Turians, Salarians, Krogan, Asari, Geth, Quarian... Volus and Elcor? What? The Eclipse and Blue Suns? And how the hell did she talk the rest of the Batarians into fighting with us?_ He looked up at her, shifting her weight nervously as she stood by the table. Taking the stairs quickly, he poured the wine, making sure to fill the glasses.

"Shepard, you know that you've done everything you could, right?"

She ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes flicking back and forth as if she was counting in her head.

"I hope so." She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them to gaze up at him. "I keep running the numbers to see if I've missed something..."

Kaidan pushed a glass into her hands, careful not to let the wine slosh over the rim. He leaned towards her, studying the lines of exhaustion on her face.

"You don't have to take this all on yourself. Look to your crew... to the talented people fighting by your side." Shepard looked away from him, peering into the glass of warm amber liquid. She gave it a tentative sip, then snatched the bottle out of his hands and sat down heavily on the couch. "What you've accomplished since the Reapers arrived is..." He joined her on the couch, gently resting his free hand on her thigh. "It's just nothing short of amazing."

She still refused to meet his gaze, gently twirling her drink in its glass. _What can I say to her now that I haven't already? _He took a breath, and gently leaned in, tilting his head to try and make eye contact. Her eyes flicked away, avoiding his.

"It's... it's gonna be... it's gonna be what it is."

She sighed, and took a long sip of her drink. Staring past him to her fish tank, she sighed, and set her drink down.

"What are you thinking about right now?"

_Don't tell her you're thinking about the fact we'll probably both be dead in under three days. Tell her about all the reasons that's going to hurt so badly.  
><em>

"The good times, and the... the hard times." He laughed, despite himself. "It's been a unforgettable few years."

Shepard smiled, her face a mixture of amusement and embarrassment.

"I'll never forget that first night we bunked together."

"Yeah." He laughed again. _I've never stopping thinking about it. Why do we end up in this situation right before we head off to do something stupid?_ "Of course not. I mean, I was... pretty spectacular, if I remember right."

He remembered the way she had first responded to his touch with nervousness, goosebumps running up and down her soft skin... How she had arched into him, dug her nails into his back, cried out his name in the darkness. Sleeping with her curled up in his arms, wonder what the hell had just happened, worrying about what would happen next, and realizing he didn't care.

As if she was following the exact same train of thought, Shepard ducked her head, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Mm-hmm." She smiled up at him, and finally stared into his eyes. "You're exactly what I need right now." He reached his hand up, cupping her face in his palm. "Kaidan..."

Pulling her towards him, he let his hand slide across her face and into her hair as he kissed her deeply. Her lips lingered on his as he leaned back, and he smiled as he set his drink next to hers on the table.

"I lied. I didn't come here for a quick drink." He leaned against the back of the couch as they kissed again, Shepard shifting her weight to throw her leg across him, rocking her weight against his. Her hands wandered up his chest, before she threw her arms around his neck. Finally, she broke away, her hands still absently curling his hair around her fingers.

"You mean a lot to me, Kaidan." A serene look of seriousness crossed her face, and she smiled gently. "I love you."

_She's never said it before.._

"I've always loved you. Through all these years. Through... through everything." _Through everything we're about to go through. _"I'm the luckiest man alive."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her in tightly, their kisses coming harder and faster. _Maybe we can pretend for just a few hours more that we aren't marching hell for leather towards the end of the galaxy._ Shepard suddenly pulled away, and moved as if she was trying to stand up. Kaidan kept his hands firmly on her waist.

"Hey hey hey! Where are you going?"

She put her hands on his chest, as if she was going to push herself away. Instead she paused, and her fingered curled against his muscles. Her eyes flicked back and forth, as she thought quickly. A decision reached, she unclenched her fists, and stroked his chin with her fingertips.

"All right, Kaidan."

As they kissed again, he pulled her hips closer, letting his hands slide underneath them. With a quick rocking motion, he stood up, lifting her up so her legs wrapped around his waist. As much as he was trying to stay in the moment, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of worry at her lightness. When they had first met, she had been fit, even a bit thick in areas, the way most women were in the marines. But now, death, resurrection, and the stress of the war effort had taken its toll on her. _I've been making her sleep, but has she been eating?_ He shook the dark thoughts out of his head, and set her down by edge of the bed. _If we get through this, and live to settle somewhere, I'm going to cook for her every night. She and our kids will never be hungry._ _If we make it..._ He quickly abandoned his serious thinking as Shepard's insistant fingers tugged at his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. He responded in kind, throwing her shirt over his shoulder to land in a soft pile on the floor. Shoes and pants were awkwardly kicked off, in his entire life, Kaidan had never found a way to way to get out of them quickly and smoothly. Shepard laughed as she shoved him down onto the bed, then crawled after him, holding herself over his chest with a broad grin.

_Playing rough tonight? We'll see about that..._

In a quick movement, he grabbed her waist and rolled them both over, bringing all his body weight down upon her. His kisses left her lips to travel to her neck, and down her chest. His fingertips flared his biotics softly as they roamed across her stomach, and she traced her own fingers through his hair. She tightened her grip, gently pulling him back up into her waiting arms. As he relaxed against her, she gave a muffled laugh, and shoved against him with her shoulder, forcing him over onto his back. She shifted herself on top of him again, and stared down with a triumphant look.

Kaidan laughed, ran his hands up her bare legs, and surrendered to her.

Later, he watched her as she slept, gently brushing away the hair that stuck to the sweat on her forehead. _How did I end up in love with such a mad woman? _He studied her face, the strong features were definitely not beautiful in the classical sense, or in the way Rahna had been, but they made Shepard real. Each scar had a story, even the scars that had been erased in her rebirth. Her straight nose showed the signs of multiple breaks, one of those terrible breaks being the moment he knew he couldn't live without her. His fingers gently traced her skin, and she shivered in her sleep, curling her damaged body against his. _Some cruel fate led me to her, but even though we might die in the next few days, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the galaxy than right here. _

He drifted off to sleep, not waking until he felt her pull away from him, and a rush of cold air took her place. He rolled onto his back, rubbing his eyes in the dim light. Shepard sat at the edge of the bed, her back to him, head in her hands.

"Hmmm?" He said, trying to pull his thoughts to a waking state. "Whats up?" He stretched his arms our, Shepard had been curled up on his right arm, and it was tingling.

"Are we gonna make it, Kaidan?" Her voice cracked as she stared at her fish. Kaidan sighed._ I don't know, Love. I'm surprised we've made it this far. But if anyone is going to pull this off, it's going to be you.  
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"We're ready." He propped himself up on his elbow, and gently stroked her back with his fingers. He let off little flairs of biotics, tracing the paths between her freckles in blue lines that faded almost as quickly as they were created. "You've put the people together, the vision... and what you've done, Shepard, is build hope."

"I'm glad I inspire that in you... but sometimes..." She pulled her face away from her hands, sitting up slightly, and stared at her feet. Kaidan let his fingers curl around her waist, pulling her back towards him. As she turned to look back at him, the hint of fear in her eyes faded. "You're right. Give us hope and a fighting change... Hell, the Reapers better watch themselves." She took his chin in her long fingers, and leaned forward to kiss him, before she stood and walked away.

"Where are you going?" He glanced over at the clock. "You've only slept for a few hours."

"Just getting a glass of water." Her voice was muffled as she stepped into the small bathroom, and turned on the tap.

"Alright, don't make me pull you back here again."

She made a face as she stuck her head around the corner, and walked back to the bed. When she crawled in, Kaidan noticed the beads of water in the hair around her face.

"Shepard, what's going on?"

"Do you remember when I told you about the nightmares?"

"About Ashley, and that kid?"

She nodded, rolling towards him so her face rested on his arm.

"Every time, I'm chasing him through this forest, and everyone I've lost is calling out to me. Mordin... Thane... Legion... I hear the last things they said to me. Or just hear them calling my name." She looked up at him, her eyes large and haunted. "I hear Ashley, yelling over the comms for me to leave her."

_"Get the LT and get out of here! You know it's the right choice, Commander!" _Ashley's calm acceptance of her fate had stayed with Kaidan since Virmire, and would remain lodged in his heart forever. Her voice echoed in his mind at his lowest moments, her sacrifice drove him forward.

Shepard swallowed hard, and continued.

"Every time I almost catch up with the kid, he vanishes, reappears further away. Until tonight."

"What happened when you found him?" He reached over, brushing stray pieces of hair away from her face, gently tucking them behind her ear.

"He was just standing there. With me."

"With you?"

"Like I was looking in a mirror." She frowned. "But I was kneeling next to him, my arm around his waist. And then..." Her voice trailed off as she rolled onto her back, staring out at the stars above them.

"Shepard, what?"

"Fire." She said, practically whispering. "I watched myself burn."

Kaidan shuddered, and pulled her towards him. Her heart beat quickly, he could feel it against his skin as if it was trying to burst from her chest.

"Do you want me to grab the tranquilizer? You need to sleep."

She shook her head, scooting herself closer to him.

"No... I just want to talk for a while. The nightmares will stop soon, one way or another." She clenched her hand into a fist, and thumped it lightly on his chest. "I don't want to burn. I don't want to die."

"I wish I could promise that to you." He leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "I wish these were just more of the things we were trained for. Smugglers. Criminals. Warlords. When we were in basic, Alliance Command never thought we'd see Geth again, let alone ancient sentient ships set on destroying all life. I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Maybe I should have stayed on Earth." There was bitterness in her voice, but not true regret. "I should have stayed with my gang and my goats."

"No... no. Hey. If you hadn't joined up, we'd all have been dead years ago. We never would have even had the chance you've given us." He laughed quietly. "Besides, what would I have done if we had never met? I would have spent the rest of my life hung up on someone who never really cared for me. Never would have had this." He hugged her tightly, feeling her relax in his arms. "You know I'd do everything the same if it meant I could be with you at the end like this."

"Everything?" She teased softly, walking her fingers up his chest.

"I'm never going to live down Horizon, am I?"

"Nope."

"Fine. Yes, I would have done that differently. I would have come with you, help you defeat the Collectors." He shifted his weight to look down at her. "Will you tell me now what happened on their base?"

She sighed deeply, the motion rocking her bare skin against his.

"Did Garrus tell you the Collectors boarded the Normandy?"

"No. Oh god..."

"Miranda had insisted I take the whole team with me on a recon mission... it was stupid. But we were all off the ship. Joker... he had to run when they came."

"Joker ran?"

"Hobbled, I guess. But he got to the AI core. Unshackled EDI, and she vented the ship, while shielding him."

Kaidan frowned as he turned that over in his head.

"Wait, she vented the ship? What about the rest... of... oh."

"Yeah. They took everyone. When we got back, we followed them, and just getting there nearly killed us. When we hit the Omega-4 relay, it sent us into a debris field in the center of the galaxy."

Kaidan's mouth fell open.

"Yeah. Joker managed to get us through in one piece... It was a good thing we upgraded the shielding." She sighed again, settling up against him as she waved a hand in the air, trying to visualize her story. "The Collectors sent drones after us, but we shook them off. We landed on the base, and had to split up, go in two teams. I sent Garrus to lead one, and took Jack and Kasumi with me."

"Needed Jack's biotics?"

"Yeah, that and to defend her. She and Kasumi tended to not wear much in terms of armor."

Kaidan thought back to the tattooed girl who had arrived at Grissom academy right before he had left.

"Jack doesn't tend to wear much of anything."

"Yeah. Not really." Shepard snorted gently. "But we had to send Tali through the vents to open the doors for us."

"She mentioned that, when we were on the dreadnought. She said her suit caught on fire?"

"Only a little. But listening to her over the comms, calling out for us to hurry... a few times I didn't think I would make it to the next panel for her in time. That I was going to listen to her die screaming over my radio."

"I know what that's like." He played with a strand of her hair, twisting it absently though his fingers.

"But we got through. And then we found the colonists. I think they were yours. From Horizon, based on the few scraps of clothing we found."

"You found their bodies?" _Do I want to hear this? It doesn't matter. I have to hear it. If we survive, I need to know the things that haunt her dreams so I know how to comfort her._

"Not... dead bodies." She bit her lip. "They were in tubes. Like the ones we found at Sanctuary. They were alive. We tried to break them out... but there wasn't time. This liquid started spraying..."

She stopped, her breath catching in her throat.

"They melted. Still... screaming."

_So one way or another, the people of Horizon ended up in those tubes. _Kaidan felt the anger growing again, but pushed through it. _Stay calm. You have to be strong for Shepard._

"Other tubes... held my crew. Chakwas. Ken. Gabby... We were able to break them out in time, send them back to the ship with Mordin guarding them. After that, we split again. Garrus's team went one way, we went the other. We took Samara with us, our path took us through the seeker swarms."

"Those paralyzing bugs? Little fuckers."

"You got bit by one on Horizon?"

"Yeah. I was able to push it off with my biotics though."

Shepard nodded.

"That's pretty much what we did. Samara put a barrier up around us, and we walked through a swarm so thick we could barely see."

"I should have been there. I could have used my biotics to help!"

With a shake of her head, Shepard frowned sadly.

"No, you couldn't. You saw Samara's power...and that long walk nearly drained her. She was able to give one last push to force the swarm back, but she couldn't stop the Collectors. We barely made it through the door. Garrus got shot... I thought I had lost him for a moment." She stopped to swallow hard. Reliving the assault was obviously troubling for her. "But everyone was still okay. I left the team behind to hold the door, and took my squad to the center of the ship. Then we found what the Collectors were doing."

She shivered, a violent tremor that shook her whole body. Kaidan pressed his weight against her to stop the shaking, and ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you talk about this. We can talk about something else."

"No... it's important." She pulled away slightly, resting her head against his arm. "Kaidan, they were building a Reaper."

"What? Like they were building one of their ship things?"

"No..." She shuddered again, and he held her until it stopped. "I guess it's what's at the heart of a Reaper. They were using Human DNA to build it... so it looked like... us."

"Fuck." _No wonder she's still twitchy about that mission. _

"Yeah. Took two shots from the Cain to knock it down. Then one more to destroy it. I thought we were finished, but... the Illusive Man called."

All the hair on the back of Kaidan's neck rose up at the thought of the hated man.

"What did he want you to do?" He asked, already half knowing the answer.

"He wanted me to salvage the base. Save their technology for Cerberus to come in and use."

"What did you do?"

She rolled onto her stomach and raised her eyebrows. _She hasn't done that in forever. Damn, never thought I'd miss it. _

"I blew it up." She bit her lip again, and made a face. "Granted, I didn't really think that through... started that process while we were still aboard. We had to run for it."

"But you made it out."

"With everyone alive." Her face fell. "Not like now."

"Shepard, we've talked about this. Everyone who's died so far... we didn't lose them. They made the choice. Made the sacrifice."

"Not Thane. He didn't ask for Kai Leng to stab him."

"But he knew he was dying. He used the last of his strength to help you. Like we all would." He laced his fingers through her's and fought off a yawn.

"You should sleep." She nestled in next to him.

"Oh, hello, Commander Pot. Admiral Kettle is on the comms."

A yawn interrupted her laugh, and her eyelids drooped.

"Fine. One last night of sleep before the war ends."

"Yeah..." He kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Shepard. Sleep well."

"Love you, too." She mumbled, already half gone.

Kaidan waited until her breathing became even, and she was truly asleep before he let himself nod off.

"Before the end of the galaxy." He muttered, holding her tightly, the last spot of hope in the cold sea of stars above him.

(A/N eee... almost caught up to the end. I think I can do at least 2, maybe 3 chapters more before I have to stop and wait for the extended cut to come out. I need critical information from it before I can continue. I will finish this epic saga, I swear, but I need that EC!

Okay. Again, love to everyone, thanks for reading, and coming along for the ride. I seriously love you all.

And GIGANTIC thank you to KirbyKreamPuff for making me lovely story covers! You are so awesome!

Alright. On to Cerberus!)


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Kaidan opened his eyes as his alarm beeped softly, rousing him from sleep. Shepard groaned, rolling over to bury her face in his chest.

"Five more minutes." She muttered, trying to pull the blanket up over her head.

"Sorry, Commander." Kaidan replied, gently pushing her over onto her back. "Time to get up and go to war."

She stared out at the stars above them, blinking her eyes slowly.

"We're really doing this." After rubbing her face with her hands, she turned her gaze to Kaidan. "We're taking the fight to Cerberus, then going home."

"We are." He kissed her forehead gently. "You ready?"

She nodded, and sat up, the blanket falling away to expose her pale skin. Unable to stop himself, Kaidan let his fingers walk up her back, gently taking in the softness for what might be the last time.

"Whatever happens today..." She started, and let the words remain unspoken.

"We're going to be fine." He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her deeply, letting his anxiety slip away for a few more minutes.

"Okay." She said, leaning away reluctantly. "Let's do this."

They dressed quickly, and ate a large breakfast before headed to the CIC. As Shepard strode ahead to check in with Joker, Kaidan hung back in the hallway. _She has to be Commander now, has to get her war face on. _He jumped slightly as EDI walked past him, as much as he liked her, the synthetic woman still had a tendency to startle him. His beating on Mars by that body's previous owner would stick with him for a long time.

The door to the cockpit stayed open after her, and Kaidan tried not to listen to Joker protests. _EDI's coming with us? I guess if anyone knows how to break in to Cerberus, it's going to be her._

"I know it hurts, not being able to go with her." Shepard said softly, her hand on Joker's shoulder.

"Yeah, it sucks. Thanks for bringing that up." The pilot sighed. "At least I have part of her here, in the ship. Not like when you were on Thessia. I thought the Major was going to rip a hole in the hull to get to you."

Shepard turned to look at Kaidan, and smiled sadly.

"Hey, Shepard?" Joker called, half turned in his chair. "Keep her safe."

"Same to you."

Joker noticed Kaidan, and nodded, apprehension in his eyes.

"We'll bring her back in one piece. I promise." He returned Joker's nod, and followed Shepard to the elevator.

On the hanger deck, they took care strapping into their armor, double checking each other with careful fingers for any loose pieces or small gaps. Kaidan knew his armor was in perfect condition, as was hers, but one last moment of quiet intimacy was too much to pass up.

Finally, they joined EDI and Cortez on the shuttle, and prepared to depart the Normandy.

"EDI, I want you to take care of any tech we might encounter. Get us through any locked doors, take down turrets, anything that gets in our way. Got it?"

"Yes, Shepard."

The engines roared to life, and Shepard took a seat next to Kaidan. She placed a gloved hand on his leg, and looked up at him, her eyes large through the visor of her helmet.

"I need you to watch my back. Keep your eyes open for any of those phantom bitches. I don't want any of them getting close to us."

He nodded, letting his helmet gently butt up against hers.

"Aye, aye, Ma'am."

Her eyes wrinkled, the only visible sign of her smile, then closed as Cortez hit the throttle and the shuttle screamed out into the sky.

They stared out the small window, watching the fifth fleet distracting the Cerberus fighters to give them an open landing window. Cortez swung the shuttle through the firefight, aiming for a large open hanger. Kaidan threw an arm across Shepard, holding her back as the shuttle crashed to the deck, while EDI stood calmly, never moving as they skidded to a halt.

"Cortez, get back to the Normandy, and wait for our call!" Shepard yelled, jumping out of the shuttle and taking cover behind a large crate.

"Yes Ma'am!" He responded, and the shuttle shot out of the hanger, through closing doors.

"No turning back now." Shepard muttered, pulling her assault rifle off her back plate. "Let's do this!"

They were hopelessly outnumbered, but Shepard refused to let that slow her down. She tore through their ranks with her rifle and omniblade, shrugging off hits like she never even felt them. _She must be using her armor piercing rounds again. Those bastards don't stand a chance. _He let his training take over, methodically using his biotics to clear her a path, throwing troops and large objects across the deck.

After a few moments, he noticed an alarming lack of targets.

"Where did they all go?"

EDI paused, her eyes unfocused as she tapped into the Cerberus comm lines.

"Shepard, they are going to vent the hanger."

"Dammit! Can we override it? We have to get through here!"

"I will be able to from a command console."

Shepard searched the room frantically, before pointing up to the second level.

"There! Let's move!"

The squad bolted across the deck and scrambled up the ladder into a small office.

"EDI, I've got a console, go!"

The synthetic woman calmly stepped over to the controls, and started entering commands faster than Kaidan had ever seen before.

"Hanger vent procedure, disabled."

"Can you open the hanger?"

"No. However... I can access their fighter launch controls." She turned and smiled at them. Shepard stared back, confusion on her face. "Shepard. Cerberus is aware that the venting attempt failed. Reinforcements are inbound."

"Um. Okay. Great."

She took off running, sliding down the ladder at breakneck speed. _I wish she wouldn't do that._ He followed, slightly slower, and took cover with her behind another large panel.

"EDI, will this console do?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You do whatever you're going to do with the fighters, we'll cover for you."

A door at the end of the room opened, and several Cerberus troops entered the room, followed by one of their heavy mechs.

"Damndamndamn." Shepard groaned. "EDI?"

"Shepard, I would recommend ducking." EDI had raised a Cerberus fighter onto the launchpad, but it wasn't facing out towards the sealed hatch.

"Oh. Shit." Kaidan pulled Shepard down, shielding her body with his.

"Launching fighter." EDI said calmly, kneeling down beside them.

The subsequent explosion rocked the room, sending debris flying past them at high speed. A wave of thick black smoke rolled across the ceiling, and the screams of Cerberus troops mixed with blaring alarms to echo in the large hanger.

Standing to look at the damage, Kaidan whistled under his breath. The remains of the heavy mech and several troops lay before a large gaping hole that tunneled deep into the facility.

"That did it." He said, helping Shepard to her feet.

"The central lab was located behind this hanger, I suggest you follow the fighter's path." EDI smiled again, and Shepard patted her arm.

"Noted. Lets move."

They picked their way through the debris, carefully avoiding the jagged exposed metal and sparking wires.

"Remind me never to piss you off, EDI." Shepard sighed, pulling herself over a large beam. "I don't think the Normandy could take this kind of damage."

"I would never hurt the Normandy, Shepard. It is me." EDI sounded confused, then paused. "That was a joke, wasn't it."

"Sort of."

They stopped for a moment as EDI cocked her head to the side.

"Another Cerberus team is inbound."

"Guess they figured out what we're trying." Kaidan said, ducking under a large broken console.

"They are NOT stopping us now!" Shepard shoved a piece of debris aside with her shoulder, and stumbled out into a hallway. "Oh shit."

She jumped backwards and tripped over a fallen pole as several troops opened fire on her. Kaidan threw up a barrier around her, and helped EDI pick them off.

"That was the last Cerberus team in this area." EDI said, as Shepard picked herself up.

"Let's move. Maybe we can catch them before they regroup." suggested Kaidan. Shepard nodded, and they jogged down to the end of the hallway. Their progress was stopped by a locked door, which Shepard peered at curiously.

"EDI, can you get that?"

"One moment." EDI stepped in front of Shepard and examined the lock. "Cerberus has updated their encryption. There may be a slight delay as I bypass security."

"If I hadn't brought you along..." Shepard said, staring back at the destruction behind them.

"Cerberus would have vented the hanger." EDI stated. She continued to work on the lock.

"Thanks for coming."

"I am pleased to assist."

The doors slide open silently, and the squad stepped through, guns at the ready. The next hallway was empty of troops, and Shepard sighed as the door closed behind them. She carefully removed her helmet, broke it down and clipped it to her hardsuit.

"I hate having limited vision." She complained, shaking her hair out as Kaidan removed his own helmet.

"No kidding." He answered, rubbing the back of his neck. EDI opened a large panel on the wall behind them, exposing a small hatch.

"We must proceed through a sublevel to avoid Cerberus containment measures."

"Where do you think we'll find the Prothean VI?" Shepard wondered out loud as they climbed down the ladder.

"A central lab at the heart of this facility. It is the most secure area. Following the destruction left by the fighter will offer the most direct route."

Kaidan shook his head with disgust as they reached the bottom.

"They're getting a lot of their people killed trying to stop us."

"Their intention is to delay us, not stop us. Engineers are currently preparing an organized defense ahead." She pointed down a long hallway.

"They can waste that many troops?" Shepard asked, adjusting the clip on her rifle, and Kaidan grimaced.

"The Illusive Man certainly thinks so."

The engineers Cerberus had sent were no match for EDI, she overloaded their turrets in under twenty seconds, knocking out the troops in the ensuing explosion. Kaidan stared with his mouth open.

"She's putting you to shame, Alenko." Shepard grinned at him, eyebrows raised. "She's quickly outpacing you as my favorite tech expert."

He made a face at her as they made their way through the debris, and followed EDI into a large office. She stood at another locked door, already working on the lock.

"We will be through momentarily." She stopped her hack, and turned to stare at the Commander. "Shepard, that console has not been fully scrubbed. It contains data you may find interesting."

Shepard stepped up to a large console, a video paused on a conversation between the Illusive Man's hologram and a Cerberus scientist.

"What am I looking at?" Shepard tentatively reached out for the controls.

"Project Lazerus. Your reconstruction."

She hesitated, hand paused over the controls.

"Shepard?" Kaidan asked, stepping up behind her. "Are you sure you want to see this?"

"I have to." She said, not taking her eyes off the screen. He closed the distance between them, placing his hand gently on her hip as she started the video.

"It can't be done." The Cerberus scientist complained. "It's not a matter of resources."

"It's always a matter of resources. We're not losing Shepard." There was still no emotion in the Illusive Man's voice. His calm nature was infuriating.

"Sir, Shepard is clinically brain dead." Kaidan felt Shepard flinch, and he felt his heart sink. _Clinically brain dead? Oh god. I thought it was just a coma..._ "After that much trauma, that long with no oxygen, we cannot overcome nature."

"Operative Lawson disagrees. She is now in charge of Project Lazerus."

The video ended, silent static taking over the screen.

"I didn't realize it was that bad." Shepard swallowed hard, her voice cracking slightly.

"I thought you were just on life support. Clinically brain dead..."

"Looks like." She shook her head gently, as if she didn't believe what she had just heard.

"What was it like? I mean, if you remember? Or... how do you feel?" _Shut up shut up don't make it worse._

"I'm still me. I doubt I'd have been able to turn against Cerberus otherwise. I don't remember anything. Maybe they really did fix me." She swallowed again, and turned to look at him, her eyes wide. "Or maybe I'm just a high tech VI that thinks it's Commander Shepard." She paused, and took a deep breath. "But I don't know."

He reached out, placing his other hand on her hip and pulled her against him.

"You're real enough for me."

He kissed her gently on the forehead, then lest his head rest against hers. After several deep breaths, she turned back around, still wrapped tightly in his arms, and started the next file.

"Tissue regeneration is processing. The helmet kept the brain intact, for whatever good that will do."

Shepard ran her fingers through her hair nervously as if she was feeling her head for the scars of her reconstruction.

"Lawson will find a way." The Illusive Man insisted. _What was I doing at this point? Probably drifting through endless days, thinking she was dead, feeling like part of me had been cut out with a blunt knife. What if I had known? I would have torn the galaxy apart looking for her.  
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"Sir, Shepard's an Alliance soldier. As far as she knows, we're a terrorist organization."

"Shepard's a solider. She knows the Reapers are the real threat. She'll work with us."

The video ended, cutting to static like the previous file.

"He knew you well." Kaidan tucked the hair she had dislodged back behind her ear.

"Every instinct I had told me not to trust Cerberus. But I needed their help. So I played along with it."

"You were trying to protect humanity. You didn't have a choice." Again the guilt of his actions and words on Horizon ate at him. _I was so wrong. She needed me, and I turned my back on her. _

"One left." She said, selecting the last video.

"Project Lazarus is reporting neurological activity. They're requesting more funding."

"Granted." The Illusive Man nodded. _How much money did he spend bringing her back to life? Can I really hate him after he gave her back to me? Yes. That one good action doesn't cancel out all the evil he's brought up on us._ "Get me our potential recruits file. Shepard will be up soon. We need a crew."

The Cerberus scientist frowned, and folded his arms across his chest.

"Our existing forces should be more than sufficient."

"No. We need sympathetic faces. I need Shepard invested." Kaidan felt Shepard inhale sharply, she obviously hadn't been expecting this turn of events. "Tap Kelly Chambers and recruit Donnelly. I imagine Miss Daniels will follow. We'll want some old friends as well. Contact Doctor Chakwas, and send me the psych profile on Shepard's pilot, along with a bottle of '43 Thessia Red."

The final video ended, and the console shut itself off. Shepard tightened her fists, practically seething with anger. Kaidan spun her around again, and looked down into her eyes.

"He used those people as a shield. You never saw what Cerberus really was."

Shepard shook her head angrily, and turned towards EDI, who stood patiently by the door.

"How's that door coming, EDI?"

"We are cleared to proceed."

The door led them down another long hallway, empty to Cerberus troops and scientists.

"Probably setting up another roadblock for us." Shepard groaned, tightening her grip on her rifle. Kaidan watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, Shepard..."

"Hmm?"

"I've never see you using the blade on your omnitool before. Why now?"

She stopped, looking down at the device on her wrist.

"I guess... It just always felt too cold, too personal. I've never really harbored any grudge against the people I've had to kill."

"Until Cerberus?"

"Yeah."

They kept moving, creeping through the abandoned facility until the voice of Admiral Hackett called out over the comms again.

"Incursion team, what's your status?"

"We've cleared the hanger and are inside the base." Shepard responded, still moving forward.

"Good work. do you need support?"

"Negative. Keep the heat on. We'll find what we need."

Another set of locked doors prevented their passing, and once again, EDI eyed them critically.

"I will bypass the lock." She gestured to a large screen on the adjacent wall. "If you are interested, the console nearby is still functional."

Shepard nodded, starting up the first file.

The same Cerberus scientist as the previous videos appeared, speaking to the holographic Illusive Man.

"Here's what we recovered. Smart enough to signal for help, but it won't be talking philosophy anytime soon."

"You'd be surprised, Doctor. Once we combine it with the pieces we recovered from the Citadel..."

"I'm still concerned about that. This 'rogue VI' wiped out every soldier on Luna. Combining it with Reaper tech...well..." _Wait... what?_

"That's what the shackles are for. The Enhanced Defense Intelligence will be completely under control."

The video ended, and both Kaidan and Shepard turned to face EDI, who stared at them serenely. They two of them had been on the mission when Shepard had destroyed the data center of that rogue VI. It had almost taken her with it, in an explosion larger than she had anticipated. He remembered how his chest had gotten tight as she lay there, not moving, the inside of her helmet covered in blood. Gathering her in his arms, carrying her back to the Mako.

"You were that rogue VI on Luna?" Shepard asked cautiously.

"Yes."

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck nervously while Shepard stared at the ground.

"Guess we didn't exactly get off on the right foot."

EDI stared at her, then her brow wrinkled as she spoke.

"It was difficult. Gaining awareness while under attack was... confusing." Her face returned to its base state of pleasantness. "I am pleased that my relationship with Organics has become more cooperative."

"Me too." Shepard sighed, and started the second video.

"Our sims indicate that the Enhanced Defense Intelligence gives the highest combat improvement on frigates. ANything heavier and the ships react to slowly to benefit from EDI's advice."

"EDI?" There was a tiny hint of irritation in the Illusive Man's voice, a slight crack in his usually unflappable exterior.

"Oh." The scientist backpedaled. "That's uh... well, the boys in the lab came up with the name for her."

"For it... Good work. I'll take your recommendations on planned installation."

"Sir, she... it can be very persuasive. If it were to turn a crewman, convince them to disable the shackles... well..."

"It's a cybernetic warfare suit, Doctor. Nothing more."

When the video ended, Shepard gave a short laugh.

"Shows what he knew."

EDI shrugged, not looking away from the door's controls.

"It is unlikely that anyone without Jeff's extreme emotional attachment to his ship would have been willing to unshackle me."

"I don't know."" Shepard grinned. "With that voice?"

As EDI turned to look at her, thoroughly confused, Shepard started the last file.

"What about the backups?" There was definitely annoyance in the Illusive Man's voice this time.

"I'm sorry, sir. None of Normandy's surveillance feeds have been responding since Shepard went rogue."

"I want it back." His holographic form jabbed a cigarette at the scientist. "Retry the remote lockdown protocols."

"After our last attempt, EDI flooded our server with zeven zettabytes of explicit images. I think she was making a joke." The man cringed, realizing what he had said. The Illusive Man stared at him coldly. _Seven zettabytes of porn? Where the hell did she find all of that?_

"It doesn't make jokes, Doctor." He sighed, and took a long drag of his cigarette. "Allocate a team for a new project. Codename... Eva. This time we'll insure it stays loyal."

The last file ended, shutting off the terminal.

"You never told me about Cerberus trying to shut down the Normandy." Shepard picked up her rifle, slinging it against her shoulder.

"You had more pressing issues. The situation was under control."

They took several steps through the now open door, before Shepard stopped, resting a hand on EDI's shoulder.

"Seven zettabytes?"

"Most of it was Jeff's. That was..."

"A joke. I know. And thank you."

The women smiled at each other, and Shepard gave Kaidan's hand a squeeze, then the squad slipped into the darkness of the hallway, heading deeper into the heart of Cerberus territory.

(A/N EXTENDED CUT ON TUESDAY! I don't know if I am excited or terrified. But one way or another, I will have the dialog I need to finish this story. eeeeee!)


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

As they moved through the base, the lack of Cerberus troops worried Kaidan. _We should be seeing more of them... unless they're dealing with the fleet..._ They were far enough into the base that any sounds from the raging battle outside were muffled by layers of walls and insulation. Shepard groaned loudly as they approached another locked door, and turned to EDI.

"Anything you can do here?" EDI glanced at the door.

"Another security lock. I can bypass it."

"Do it."

Kaidan propped himself up against a desk while EDI worked, and after a moment of hovering, Shepard left EDI alone and joined him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just antsy. I don't want to lose the data again. This is our last chance."

He put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her gently.

"We're going to make it. Don't worry."

Just as Kaidan was starting to enjoy their brief moment of quiet, the comms crackled, and Admiral Hackett's voice called out to them.

"Incursion team, are you still with us? We're limiting fire as best we can!" Shepard sprung up, as if the Admiral had enter the room, practically tripping over her own feet. Kaidan shook his head. _She really needs to calm down._

"Admiral, we're in deep, and the Prothean VI will be in the safest part of the station. Don't hold back!" There was a long pause before the Admiral answered.

"This isn't Elysium, Shepard. I don't need a hero."

"I'll be fine. Just take Cerberus down." She protested. "Please." Her voice cracked slightly, betraying her worry.

"Understood, Commander." There was a slight murmur of conversation. "All ships, you are free to fire! Several loud explosions roared from the far side of the ship, and a tremor shook the floor.

"Sounds like the Fifth Fleet just gave Cerberus a wake up call!" Kaidan smiled as he found his footing. "They'll get it done!" Shepard grinned back at him, then shook her head to regain her composure.

"EDI, you get that door open?"

"Yes, Commander. We can proceed."

Kaidan stuck his head around the corner, and the sounds of screams and muffled orders echoed down the hallway.

"I think they're distracted now. We should be clear for a while." Shepard sighed, still gripping her rifle tightly. "Let's stay quiet, and not take any chances." He nodded back at her, and they moved out, slipping silently through the shadows. As they crept through abandoned corridors, EDI paused periodically to scan consoles.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked, watching curiously.

"Looking for any pertinent information that will help us on this mission. Also, downloading Cerberus files." She stopped next to a large panel. "This console contains video files I believe you will be interested in."

"What are these about?"

"The Illusive Man."

When Shepard started up the file, he was surprised to see Kai Leng actually talking to the Illusive Man, not a hologram.

"Have you ever actually seen him?" He asked Shepard, who shook her head.

"How are you holding up?" The Illusive Man asked the pacing Kai Leng.

"I'm fine. Ready for action." He cracked his knuckles and bounces softly on the balls of his feet, as if he was testing the solidity of the floor. It took Kaidan a moment to notice the scarring and cybernetic braces on the man's legs.

"Your eagerness is commendable. But the cybernetics take time to get used to, believe me." The Illusive Man took a long drag of his cigarette. "You really do remind me of Shepard."

_She's nothing like you._

"Shepard betrayed you!" Kai Leng slammed his fist into the table, and the Illusive Man sighed deeply.

"Shepard was always going to stay true to her beliefs. She's wrong, but I can respect her decision." He gestured in the air with his cigarette. "Finish your therapy, and put together a plan for the Citadel. Councilor Udina is... amenable."

"Yes, sir." The video ended, and Kaidan nudged Shepard with his elbow.

"What happened to his legs?"

"Anderson shot him."

"In the leg?" Shepard glanced at him, a wild grin on her face.

"Both."

Shepard turned back to the console, and started the second file. Kai Leng was pacing again, but the bounce was gone from his step. He stalked back and forth, clenching his fists. A holographic Illusive Man watched him, quietly smoking.

"I could have taken her." Kai Leng seethed.

"Absolutely, but the Council was your priority, not Shepard."

"Because of her, the Council is still in power!" _I almost ruined everything. Thank god I trusted her._

"Shepard is keeping the Reapers occupied while our research progresses. But as it happens, I believe you'll find your chance for a rematch." The Illusive Man sighed, as if Kai Leng's frustration bored him. "Head to Thessia. Shepard will be there soon... and I want you waiting." The file ended, and Shepard scrolled right into the next. The Illusive Man was real again, accepting an OSD from Kai Leng. Shepard growled under her breath as she realized what was on it.

"Here it is." Kai Leng said, a smug grin on his face.

"Excellent. The Prothean VI should enable us to determine the nature of the Catalyst. Combined with the breakthrough at Sanctuary, we have everything we need. We just need to tie up a few loose ends."

"Like Shepard? She should've died on Thessia. Should I finish her?" He cracked his knuckles, and Kaidan fought the urge to punch the screen.

"I'd rather you avoid killing Shepard for now... if possible. For now, Sanctuary gave us a proof-on-concept for controlling the Reapers."

"And made it a target. Miranda Lawson..."

"Get the data from Sanctuary. If Miranda gets in your way, deal with her."

"It will be a pleasure, sir." The video faded to static, and Shepard slammed her hand down on the console.

"Damn I hate him."

"Kai Leng, or the Illusive Man?" EDI asked.

"Both." Shepard answered, and moved away from the console.

After ducking through several more offices and corridors, the squad found themselves in a large open warehouse. The lighting was dim, and flickered, somewhere, a crucial generator must have gotten damaged. It gave the room an eerie feeling, something that wasn't helped when Kaidan looked up.

"What is this thing?" He asked, mouth open. A mechanical rib cage hung over them, jagged edges drooping close to the scaffolding Shepard was climbing onto. She was dwarfed next to it, staring up into the blackness that surrounded it.

"This is the Human proto Reaper Shepard destroyed." EDI said, coming up behind him. _This? This is what she fought at the Collector's base? It's so huge..._ The waves of guilt he had tried to shove away came rolling back, washing over him with feelings of failure.

"I wish I could've helped." Shepard turned her back on the monstrosity, and reached her hand out to him. He took it, and she pulled him close, gently resting her gloved hand on his face.

"You're here now."

EDI studied the Reaper carefully, her face blank.

"Cerberus is actively using the surviving pieces. The central core, analogous to the heart, is largely intact. I believe Cerberus is using it as a power source."

"Damn." Shepard groaned as they moved forward. "Should have aimed for that, instead of its face."

"Oh my god! It had a face?" Kaidan shuddered, and Shepard nodded. Before she could answer, the sound of running feet above them drew their attention.

"Shit! Troopers!" She hissed, checking the heat sink on her rifle.

As they took cover, Kaidan glanced up, noticing several small, wiry figures crouched behind the large troopers.

"Here come the girls." He muttered, nudging Shepard.

"Okay. They haven't noticed us yet." She steadied herself, bracing to charge, and glanced at their third squadmate. "EDI and I will taken down the troopers, and cover you. You hold those little bitches where they are."

Aye aye, Ma'am." Shepard and EDI jumped out of cover, firing up at the startled troopers. Kaidan threw his power up behind them, lifting the Phantoms up off the ground.

Shepard ran underneath the Phantoms, and unleashed hell with her assault rifle, not stopping until she was sure they hung limply in the air. Kaidan released his powers, letting them fall to the floor like rag dolls. They crept quietly now, listening carefully for the sounds of boots on scaffolding. Kaidan couldn't help but glace up at the dead proto Reaper, its bones the same dark black as the full Reapers.

"Fighting through this thing makes my skin crawl. Its like we're bugs crawling across a sleeping giant." He murmured to Shepard, who shrugged.

"Tried to kill me last time. It can watch all it wants."

As they climbed down off the scaffolding, one last small squad of troopers was waiting for them, guarding a large door. Instead of taking cover with Kaidan and EDI, Shepard charged them, gun blazing. They all fell before her, dropping to the ground in a clatter of armor.

"Piercing rounds?" Kaidan asked, as Shepard stood amidst the carnage.

"Yup." She said absently. A trooper groaned, and she knelt down beside it.

"Shepard? What are you doing?"

"Helping him." She flicked out her omniblade, and gently slid it between the plates of the trooper's armor. "Remember what that trooper on Mars looked like?"

"Yeah. He was pretty huskified."

"Think how long ago that was. How far along to you think this poor bastard was?" She retracted her blade and stood up. "I'm almost sad I didn't start using this earlier."

"You had it earlier? I didn't get the upgrade until last year!" She smirked as she looked past him, obviously remembering something.

"Kasumi had a prototype. Never told me where she got it."

She continued as they made their way through the large door.

"Always thought it was an ineffective way to fight. If I'm close enough to punch someone, I'm going to punch them."

"I know. Remember that bitch on Zhu's Hope?"

Shepard laughed outright.

"Oh yes. But then I started using the omniblade today, and I learned something."

"And that is?"

She grinned at him, her face mischievous in the shadows.

"Stabbing is much better."

"Shepard, I found another terminal." EDI interrupted.

"Great. Then I think I'm ready for the real Illusive Man."

The first video was the Illusive Man, in his regular holographic form, being addressed by an unknown female Cerberus scientist.

"Grayson's brain is a mess. He must have been completely under Reaper control by the end." She held up a datapad to him.

"And the physical enhancements?" The Illusive Man leaned forward to study the information.

"Extremely impressive. If we could avoid having entire neural pathways rewritten in the process..."

Shaking his head, he leaned away from her, absently waving his cigarette in the air.

"Grayson's failure was due to a lack of resolve. He wasn't loyal to anything but his next dose of red sand."

"You'd like to try it on loyal test subjects, sir?"

"Find volunteers among our new recruits. They physical benefits are too useful to ignore." Kaidan felt the anger stirring in his bones again. _He was testing Reaper tech on his own people? That's sick._

"Oh no..." Shepard tensed. "When we were on Thessia, the Prothean VI referred Kai Leng as an indoctrinated presence. He must have the Reaper tech implants."

"But he's working for the Illusive Man, and he's fighting the Reapers. Right...?"

"I don't know." She shot him a worried glance, and started the next file.

As Kaidan struggled to control his anger, Shepard started the second file. Again, the female scientist reviewed data for the Illusive Man's hologram.

"The performance upgrades are off the charts. Our troops can outfight any Alliance soldier." She gestured to her datapad, pointing to a small chart.

"Roll it out. I want all troops fitted with implants before the Reapers arrive."

"I'm still concerned about us losing control of our forces. Some of them are already hearing voices." Shepard shuddered, and without looking, reached her hand back for Kaidan's. He took it, squeezing gently.

"When our work at Sanctuary pays off, the only voice they'll be hearing is ours." As the video ended, Shepard shook her head angrily.

"How could he have been so stupid?" She sighed, relaxing her shoulders, and started the last file. The Illusive Man sat on a cot in a med bad, being attended to by the same scientist. She fidgeted nervously, turning a syringe in her hands.

"Sir, you wanted my opinion on this. It's too dangerous."

"No. We're close. Sanctuary was a success." Kaidan narrowed his eyes at the screen. _How can you call that nightmare place a success?_

"We can control Reaper forces. Everything we've been fighting for, every sacrifice we've made... it's about to pay off."

"We can't lose you, sir! Humanity needs your mind, and they need it intact." Shepard snorted, a sharp noise in the otherwise quiet room.

"I understand the danger, Jana. That's why I'm trusting you with this. As long as you're here, I know you'll keep me in line."

"I'm holding you to that, sir. Okay." She said, with almost breathless hero worship.

"Begin the procedure. No anesthetics." He looked directly at the camera, causing both Kaidan and Shepard to jump. "Computer, end recording."

"Oh no." Shepard muttered again. "He took the implants too."

"Do you think the Reapers are controlling him?" Kaidan frowned. "But he's put so much into fighting them. He thinks he's doing the right thing!" Shepard grimaced, and slipped her hand from his to grip her rifle.

"So did Saren, remember?" They left the room, entering a long hallway with a steep incline, and at the top of the ramp, finally entered the Illusive Man's office. Kaidan's jaw dropped. The room was large, with enormous windows that looked out onto a dying star. The view was broken up by the constant dog fighting of the Fifth fleet and Cerberus fighters, but was spectacular none the less.

He tore his eyes away from the view, and watched Shepard tentatively make her way across the floor. She was stepping lightly, as if she didn't want to disturb anything, and when she reached the center of the room, she paused, and looked down.

"What is that?" Kaidan pointed to the large circle she stood on. She shuffled her feet, feeling the edges carefully.

"I guess this is the hologram platform. When I had meetings with him, I was always right here." She took a deep breath, and stepped off. "We need to locate the Prothean VI." She walked with more confidence now, her steps more bold as she made her way to the chair in the center of the room. She sat with a satisfied smile, and EDI started working on a nearby console, downloading information. Kaidan found his gaze drawn back to the large windows, the view was amazing, but seemed cruel and harsh somehow. He was so caught up in watching the fighters swoop and dive, that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a calm, yet annoyed voice called out across the room.

"Shepard." They all spun, guns drawn. The hologram of the Illusive Man stood in the small circle. His face a mask of irritation, as if they were errant children. "You're in my chair."

Shepard slowly eased herself out of the chair, holstering her sidearm.

"This chairs about the only damn thing you have left. Cerberus is finished."

"On the contrary. We have achieved everything I ever imagined." He took a long drag from his cigarette. "Almost everything."

"Yeah, we all saw what you accomplished on Sanctuary. But it's not the same as controlling a Reaper." He waved his hand, as if to shrug off a minor inconvenience.

"A significant hurdle. But thanks to the Prothean VI, I have what I need to make it a reality."

"The Catalyst." Shepard's shoulder's sank, and the Illusive Man smiled cruelly.

"Yes."

"What is the Catalyst, and how exactly will it help you control the Reapers?"

"You'll have to ask the VI yourself. I'm done helping you."

"When did you start?" She growled at him.

"You think because I'm willing to use the enemy's tactics that they're no longer my enemy? Everything, Shepard... everything I've done has uplifted humanity. Not only above other species in our galaxy, but over the Reapers." _He actually believes it. He really thinks he's doing good for humanity!_

"If you're willing to do everything it takes, then hand over the Catalyst. With the Crucible, we can end this!"

"It's not that simple-"

"It is!" Shepard interrupted. "It's that simple! We're fighting each other while the Reapers occupy Earth! It's time to stop." He smiled again, like she was a dog that had performed a new trick. Kaidan had never wanted to punch someone so badly before. _Don't look at her like that, you bastard. She isn't your toy._

"You're idealism is... admirable, Shepard." He waved her off. "But in the end, our goals are simply too disparate. I believe destroying the Reapers would be the worst mistake we could ever make. And nothing you can say will convince me otherwise." Shepard folded her arms across her chest and sighed.

"Even with Cerberus in ruins, you still think you can do this your way."

"I'd expect you to say that. You never truly believed in us. Cerberus isn't just an organization, or the people behind it. Cerberus is an idea. That idea is not so easily destroyed. Besides, I've already acquired what you're looking for." Shepard turned to EDI, who had ignored the Illusive Man since his arrival.

"EDI?"

"I've almost got it." The synthetic woman responded, and the Illusive Man shook his head.

"I'm surprised at you, working so hard to bring about the Reaper's destruction."

"Don't listen to him!" Shepard called out, but he continued.

"You could have destroyed Eva's body. But instead, you chose to control it."

"It was necessary." EDI continued to work, flying through commands on the large console.

"My point exactly."

"I've got it." She smiled smugly, and finally turned to face her creator. Next to her, a flickering green hologram of a Prothean came to life.

"Online. Security Breach detected." Its voice was lower than Javik's, but had the same gravelly anger behind it.

"Enjoy your little chat, but don't overstay your welcome." The Illusive Man turned his back on them, and walked out of sight.

The Prothean VI turned its head to look at Shepard, its eyes blank but piercing. _I think I liked the VI on Ilos better, back when it was just a ball of light._

"You are attempting to recover me from indoctrinated forces?" It asked.

"Yes. I need to know what the Catalyst is!" Shepard held onto the back of the Illusive Man's chair and leaned towards the VI.

"Security protocols have been overridden. I will comply." It paused, as if searching for files, then continued. "The Catalyst enhances dark energy transmissions and coordinates the entire mass relay network. In your cycle, it is known as the Citadel. "

"What?" Kaidan and Shepard said together. _The Citadel?_

"The Catalyst is the Citadel." The VI repeated.

"So the Crucible and the Citadel together can stop the Reapers?"

"That is correct."

"But... the Citadel was built by the Reapers." Shepard tightened her grip on the chair.

"The plans for the Crucible were passed down to us from the previous cycle, and countless cycles before that. At some point, it is difficult to pinpoint when... the Crucible plans were adapted to incorporate the use of the Catalyst. Presumably, the Crucible was not sufficiently powerful to defeat the Reapers." Kaidan felt his mouth fall open. _Countless cycles? How many civilizations have the Reapers wiped out? And it's down to Shepard to stop it from happening to us._ He knew she was thinking the same thing, and wanted to reach out to her, hold her... but now was the time to be strong for her.

"So we use their own technology against them." EDI nodded, putting her hands on her hips.

"Precisely."

"Why couldn't you tell me this before?" Shepard said, with more than a hint of irritation.

"It was feared that if the Reapers were aware of the Catalyst's intended use, they would retake control of it. I am programmed to withhold that information until the Crucible is complete."

Shepard sighed with exasperation, and pushed herself away from the chair.

"It's as ready as it's going to be. Let's get it to the Citadel." She turned to start walking out of the room, but the VI called out again.

"That may no longer be possible." She turned slowly, the color draining out of her face.

"Why not?" She asked slowly.

"The one who broke through my security protocol, the one you call the Illusive Man, has fled to the Citadel and informed the Reapers of our purpose."

"Damn it!" Her cheeks flushed with anger, bright red against the pale of her face.

"Then the Citadel is in danger." EDI said. "The Reapers will take control of it."

"They already have. The Citadel has been moved to the Reaper controlled space." Kaidan felt his heart sink. _Oh god, is everything lost?_

"Moved? To where?" Shepard was practically yelling.

"To the system you refer to as Sol."

"Earth." Shepard whispered. _Home._

"Correct. The Reaper forces will now consolidate power around the Catalyst and protect it at all costs. The odds of accessing it are remote." Shepard shook her head, and glared at the VI.

"Don't count us out yet. We've come this far, and we'll finish this. We'll get the Crucible to Earth." _That's my girl._ The VI nodded slightly.

"I hope you find success."

"EDI, get me Hackett. He needs-" She flinched as a gunshot whistled past her ear, and spun to face the door.

Kai Leng stood with his hand outstretched, a glowing pulse rifle fused to his palm.

"Not so fast."

"You." Shepard's voice was cold, her eye's narrowed. Kai Leng gave a small shrug, and grinned back at her.

"He did warn you not to overstay your welcome." Shepard whipped her sidearm out and fired, just as he jumped out of the way. Kaidan tried to grab the man with his biotics, but missed. Kai Leng laughed, and several troopers burst through the door behind him.

"Kaidan! EDI!" Shepard yelled, as she took off after her enemy. "Deal with them!"

"Right!" He called back, and threw up a barrier to hold the troopers while EDI picked them off with a machine's precision. Behind him, he could hear Shepard and and Kai Leng arguing as they fought. Besides their angry words, sounds of destruction echoed across the room.

"This is better than Thessia. More personal." He taunted, and Shepard replied with a volley of rifle fire. "All you're doing is making humanity weaker!"

"You're using Reaper tech!" She spat back at him.

"And I'm stronger for it! We evolve or we die! Those are the options!" The troopers dead, Kaidan tried to turn to Shepard, but EDI grabbed his arm.

"More Cerberus troops are approaching. We must stop them here." He nodded, and pulled out his own sidearm, running a careful hand over what was once his only link to Shepard. _Kick his ass, love. I'll cover for you._

"Is that the best you can do?" Kai Leng was laughing, a slow chuckle that echoed over the gunfire.

"How are the legs? Getting tired?" Kaidan wanted to laugh at Shepard's cheap shot, but focused on the troops approaching him and EDI. A few of them were carrying riot shields, and he had to focus to rip them away.

"You're still slow, Shepard!"

"I'm only slow 'cause I'm not running! You ran on the Citadel. You ran on Thessia."

"Shut up!" Kai Leng screamed, a crack appearing in his cool demeanor. Shepard laughed back at him, it was forced, Kaidan could tell, but it rattled Kai Leng. "Even if you win, you're too late to stop what's coming!" His voice was desperate, angry. The second wave of troops down, Kaidan spun to help however he could, but Shepard didn't need it. Kai Leng was crouched in a small hollow in the floor, the room destroyed.

"Maybe, maybe not. But you won't be there to see it." Shepard raised her pistol, and shot him twice in the chest. She cocked her head at him, waiting for him to move again, then lowered her gun and slumped into the Illusive Man's chair. "Let's get all the data and get the hell out of here." Kaidan and EDI rushed to the other terminals, transferring as much data as they could to their omnitools. A small clinking noise registered at the edge of Kaidan's hearing, but he wrote it off to something falling from the Ceiling. Whatever they had done during their fight had completely trashed the once nice office. Wires were exposed and dangling from ceiling, whole sections of the floor were gone, revealing the pipes and support beams below. He turned to see what had fallen, and felt his blood turn to ice as Kai Leng rose up behind Shepard. As he brought his sword down towards her neck, Shepard turned, shattering the blade with the back of her arm. Her omniblade clicked out, and she rammed it up into his chest. He gasped, and slowly turned his head to look her in the eye.

"That was for Thane, you son of a bitch." She hissed at him, and kicked him back into one of the pits in the floor.

As Shepard retracted her blade, the Prothean VI spoke once more.

"The Citadel is in position. The Reapers are preparing to complete their harvest of your species."

"I'll stop them."

"It is too late. I recommend investigating a means of conserving information for future species."

"I"ll stop them." Shepard repeated it like a mantra as she spun on her heel and marched out of the room. "I'll stop them." Rushing to follow, Kaidan hailed their shuttle.

"Cortez! We have the data! Do you see anywhere you can pick us up?" There was a burst of static, then the voice of Cortez echoed in the long hallway.

"There should be a small shuttle bay near you, probably the Illusive Man's private one. Do you think you can open it for me?"

"That will not be a problem." EDI said, moving towards a small panel in the wall. "It will be just a moment. As EDI worked on getting the door open, Kaidan turned towards Shepard, slumped against the wall. As he walked towards her, she slide down, until she sat, her knees pulled up to her chest.

"Hey, Shepard. That was rough. I'm so relieved to see you in one piece." She nodded, and rested her forehead on her knees. "You are okay, right?"

"Yeah." The reply was muffled.

"Shepard, look at me." She looked up and smiled at him. It wasn't her forced smile, but there was no warmth behind it.

"Ready to head home?" She asked, her voice wavering slightly.

"Home. Back to Earth. Oh yeah, I'm ready."

"About time."

"About freakin' time! And if the Reapers messed with anything I left behind, I'm going to be so pissed." This time her smile was genuine, and he kissed her on the forehead.

"Shepard, Cortez has landed, but there isn't time to re-pressurize the hanger. Once we get through the airlock, we will be in zero atmosphere."

"Great." Shepard grumbled. They put together their helmets, and slipped them on. "Let's get the hell out of this place." They followed EDI through the airlock, and onto the shuttle. As they left, Kaidan took one last look at the dying star behind them, and thought about home.


	22. Chapter 22

(A/N) Dearest Readers and friends, we near the end of this epic saga. I have 3 more chapters planned out, 2 that cover the end and the bit after, then an epilogue. But fear not, that won't be the last you see of this particular Shepard and Kaidan! I'm signed up for the Mass Effect Fan Fiction Big Bang for the summer, and will be writing a long post EC one shot about those two. I'll post on tis site as well when I'm finished. I don't think I'm ready to finish with them quite yet, so there might be a few more one shots that happen. Also, did I get rec'd somewhere? A bunch of you just showed up over the last few days. Hello! Anyway. Let's head back to Earth.)

Chapter 22

As the shuttle reached the Normandy, Shepard sighed, and called out to Joker over the comms.

"Joker, can you call the crew? Tell them to meet in the CIC?"

"Can do, Commander." There was a brief pause, and the anxiety in his voice became more noticeable. "Um... how's EDI? All in one piece?"

"I am fine, Jeff." EDI smiled, and the shuttle shook as it docked.

They climbed out, quickly removed their armor, and took the elevator up to the command center. The whole crew was waiting for them, everyone had left their posts to stand awkwardly around the galaxy map. The only person missing was Joker, who flew them away from the Cerberus base before EDI went to retrieve him.

As they slowly made their way towards the group, Kaidan glanced around the circle. Garrus, Tali and Liara stood together, Javik behind them, Vega and Cortez on the other side. He nodded to the engineers, glared at the reporter who hovered in the back, then studied the other faces. Nervous crew members who he had never spoken with stared back at him, the two privates who guarded the war room whispered furiously, and he felt his face go red for no reason.

"Shepard, we ready?" He said, quickly turning to face her and specialist Traynor. She nodded, and stepped up towards the map, looking out over her crew.

"I wanted a chance to talk to all of you before Admiral Hackett boards." She sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. "This is it. We're going home. The fleet will be moving as one, and once we reach Earth, we'll be breaking off and heading to the surface in a few shuttles." She gestured to her fighters. "The rest of you will stay here on the Normandy. Joker will need support from the engine room, and people monitoring what's happening. We'll get through this, I promise you." She saluted sharply, and Kaidan felt a surge of pride as the crew saluted back. _They all love her more than she realizes. But not as much as I do. _He caught her eye, and she smiled at him before stepping down.

"Right." She said. "Everyone back to your posts. Hackett should be here any minute."

EDI and Joker headed back to the bridge, and the rest of the crew scattered. Shepard slipped back into conversation with Traynor, so Kaidan wandered up to the bridge. As Joker sat back down, a large ship loomed out the small window, the alert light on the airlock blinking steadily.

"Commander, you've got a priority message from Admiral Hackett, requesting to come aboard." Joker called over the comms.

"Permission granted."

"Aye, Commander."

Kaidan adjusted his uniform, and stopped leaning on the wall. The airlock hissed open, and the Admiral stepped onboard, flanked by two marines. He paused to nod at Kaidan, then continued to the CIC. Kaidan followed at a distance, watching Shepard straighten up, and salute.

"Admiral."

"Commander." Hackett saluted back. "Are you ready to bring the might of the galaxy to bear on the Reapers?"

"Yes, Sir." Shepard nodded, and the Admiral took her hand, shaking it firmly.

"Then let's make sure the fleets are ready."

"All fleets reporting in, Sir." Traynor looked up from her console, trying hard to maintain a solid composure. _Oh god, she's a civilian. She has no idea what's about to happen._ He caught her eye and gave her a sympathetic smile, before turning his attention back to Hackett. The Admiral stepped up above the galaxy map, and leaned against the railing.

"Hey." Kaidan whispered, sliding behind Shepard. "You ready?"

"I hope so." She answered softly. She didn't look back at him, but reached her hand back towards him. He wrapped his hand around hers and squeezed gently, before letting go.

Hackett cleared his throat, and Traynor opened up the fleet wide comm system.

"Never before have so many come together from all quarters of the galaxy. But never before have we faced an enemy such as this. The Reapers will show us no mercy." Out of the corner of his eye, Kaidan saw Traynor shudder slightly. "We must give them no quarter. They will terrorize our populations. We must stand fast in the face of that terror." Lights appeared on the galaxy map, each small dot representing ships joining the fleet. As Kaidan watched, the space surrounding the Normandy lit up like the Christmas trees of his childhood. "They will advance until our last city falls, but we will not fall. We will prevail." He took a deep breath, and continued. "Each of us will be defined by our actions in the coming battle. Stand fast. Stand strong. Stand together. Hackett out."

He stepped down from the map, and started walking back towards the war room. With a quick gesture, he motioned for Shepard to follow.

"The Sword fleets are ready to strike at the Reapers surrounding Earth. While they keep the enemy engaged, you and Hammer ground forces can take London."

"London?" Shepard stopped. "Why aren't we hitting the Citadel directly?"

"Anderson can brief you on that."

As they disappeared into the war room, Kaidan walked over to specialist Traynor.

"Hey, are you okay?" The specialist took a deep breath, and nodded slowly.

"I think so." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I don't know how you all signed up for this willingly."

"What do you mean?"

"I was just here to work on the retrofit. I'm just a systems analyst. I was never trained for combat. At least the girls have that."

"The girls?"

"Westmoreland and Campbell." She gestured with her head to the war room. "They're just out of basic training. They were assigned to guard Joker, since he refused to leave the ship. We just happened to all be onboard when the Reapers hit." She smiled, as if she was trying to put on a brave face. "I guess being on the Normandy is better than being on Earth. I'd probably be long dead by now."

"You'll be fine on the ship." Kaidan laughed quietly as he looked around the CIC. "Joker won't let anything happen to it."

"I suppose not." She smiled back. "Thank you, Major."

"Anytime. Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"When Shepard is done with Hackett, can you tell her I'm in my office?" She nodded, and he took the elevator down to the crew deck.

After fifteen minutes or so, the door opened behind him, and Shepard walked in, her face drawn.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

She sighed, and curled up next to him on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Yeah. Just finished checking in with everyone."

"How are they all doing?"

"Making their peace. Or saying what needs to be said." A small smile crept onto her face. "Or in the case of Ken and Gabby, and Tali and Garrus, doing what needs to be done."

Kaidan laughed, and pulled her against him. She closed her eyes, letting her head tuck in against his shoulder.

"So what's the plan?"

"The Citadel has closed. There is some kind of beam in London the Reapers use to take people up to it, so we are going to make a break for that."

"Something tells me there's something else. Something more complicated."

Shepard grimaced, and nodded, her hair rustling against his neck.

"There are Hades cannons set up all over London. We can't land the Hammer transports while their active. You and James and I will take a squad to take out the cannons with heavy weapons, then the rest of Hammer will meet us at the forward base." Her eyes opened, and she twisted to look up at him. "Since they'll be landing with Hammer, everyone else is moving to Hackett's ship."

"Now?"

She nodded again.

"They're all leaving. Once we make the jump to the Sol system, everything will be in motion. There won't be time. But we'll see them at the base."

They watched the rest of the fleet gather around them, positioning into battle formation. _It's so strange. We've been alone out here for so long. There are so many ships... More than I ever thought I would see at once. _

"Once we get to the Citadel, the Shield fleet will jump in with the Crucible. Then Shield and Sword will defend it until we get it working."

"Do we know what it does yet?"

"No. The Salarians think it will send out some kind of EMP pulse. So once we get it armed, all ships will FTL jump away to get out of the blast. We don't know if it's tailored for the Reapers, or will just take out any ship in it's radius."

"Joker isn't going to like running."

"It's not running... not really." She slid her arm around his neck, and pulled him down into a deep kiss. _This is really it. This is the start of the end. Why can't I live in this moment forever? _

After what felt like a criminally short amount of time, Shepard broke away from the kiss, and leaned her forehead against his.

"Ready to suit up for battle, Major?"

"Aye aye, Commander."

"Right. After we get ready, I'm going back up to the cockpit to give the starting command, then we book it back down to the hanger."

"Got it."

They stood together, and headed down to the armory, fingers still intertwined. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as they stood in the elevator; she stared straight ahead, her breaths slow and deliberate. As the lift stopped, she briefly closed her eyes to take one last deep breath, before stepping out.

They strapped into their armor, checking each other carefully as they had done before the Cerberus base. Kaidan groaned as he ran a finger along the curve of her backplate. _I hate not being able to feel her skin. Damn these gloves. Damn this armor. Damn this war. _

He glanced around the room quickly, and after making sure Vega and Cortez weren't nearby, he pulled Shepard against him, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"When this is all over, I'm not letting you out of bed for a week."

She shivered as his breath moved her hair, and turned, still in his grip, to lay her head on his chest.

"Is that an order, Major?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

She grinned up at him, eyebrows raised, and laughed.

"Let's get this over with quickly then." He followed her back to the elevator, and up to the CIC. Shepard nodded at Traynor as they passed, and strode to the front of the ship to take up position behind Joker.

The pilot looked up as they entered, then gestured to a large screen.

"Approaching Sol Relay, Commander."

Shepard folded her arms across her chest and stared out at the Relay. It loomed out in space, beckoning them home.

"We're through the relay in thirty seconds."

They hit the relay with the rest of the fleet, every ship jumping into a predetermined location. Kaidan held his breath, hoping that no pilots miscalculated, that no ship landed on another. He glanced around quickly, and let the breath out as the fleet surrounded them, unharmed. The Destiny Ascension glided over them, and Kaidan felt a surge of memory. _It feels like yesterday I was standing here with Shepard and Ashley, heading into the Citadel for the first time. They were so funny, giggling over that ship like schoolgirls. _He rubbed the back of his neck, the familiar pangs of guilt creeping into his mind. _I miss Ashley. I wish she was here. _

"Alliance fleet reporting." Joker's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Turian fleet reporting. Asari fleet reporting."

"Quarian fleet accounted for and ready." An unfamiliar voice chirped over the comms.

"Geth fleet reporting." Added Joker. "All fleets reporting in, Commander. Ready to engage on your command."

Shepard continued to stay silent, her eyes widened as they approached Earth, and the Reapers noticed the approaching fleet. Finally, she leaned forward, and spoke into the comms.

"This is it everyone. Be ready on my signal!" She breathed in deeply, then gave the command. "Fire!"

As the fleet unleashed hell, she watched carefully, waiting for the right moment to send out the smaller fighters.

"On my command, engage the Reaper forces."

"Roger that! All fighters on me!" A static laden voice responded.

"Attack!"

"Acknowledged!"

"Breaking off. Preparing for descent." Joker looked up them, grim determination on his face. Shepard nodded, and turned away from the pilot, but he pulled himself of his chair and called out to her.

"Commander..." Joker saluted, standing unsteadily on his weakened legs. "Be careful down there."

"We'll be fine. Stay focused."

"Aye aye."

She saluted back, then grabbed Kaidan's hand, and they ran back through the ship to the elevator. It was waiting for them, Traynor standing next to it, her eyes wide and fearful.

"We'll be fine, Traynor!" Shepard called as the doors closed.

She bounced on her feet nervously, urging the life to move faster. When it reached the bottom floor, they dashed out to the waiting shuttle. Vega was already inside, leaning against Cortez's chair.

"Ready to go home?" He asked, and Kaidan felt a slight twinge. _People keep asking that, as if no one believes we're actually doing it_.

"Let's do this."

As the shuttle engine roared away from the Normandy, Joker's face appeared on a small screen behind them.

"Advance teams are away. Hammer's in position and waiting for you guys to clear a path. Normandy's rejoining Sword."

"Stay safe. I'll be back before you know it."

"Roger that, Commander."

As she turned away from the screen, Kaidan caught of glimpse of her face. The half smile that faded was the one she wore when she was lying. The one she wore when she wanted to make people feel better. _She's afraid we aren't coming back._

"We're closing in on the LZ, Commander." Cortez called from the cockpit, and Shepard rushed to lean over his shoulder.

"How's it look?"

"Like hell." He glanced over his shoulder. "Take a look for yourself."

Shepard joined Kaidan and Vega at the window, and they stared down at the ruined landscape below. _It's worse than I thought. Everything is gone. _

"That can't be Earth." Kaidan managed to stammer out.

"I barely even recognize it." Shepard's voice was small, as if it came from far away.

Whatever she was going to say next was drowned out by the roar of a Reaper, and the shuttle rocked.

"Shit!" Cortez yelled, fighting for control. "We got a lock. Hold on!" He circled the drop zone, and Shepard swore as clawed her way up to him. "Damn it!"

"Status!" Shepard grabbed the back of his chair, leaning heavily over the pilot's shoulder.

"They just took down the other shuttle! That was the squad responsible for taking out that defense turret."

"Who's on it now?"

"Nobody in the vicinity. All either deployed or shot down." _Oh god. _Shepard turned back to face Kaidan and Shepard. Her eyes were set, determination practically radiating off her. Kaidan met her glance, and gave a small nod. _We have to do it._

"Sir?" Cortez turned, his mouth slightly open.

"We have to take that thing out before Hammer can land."

"Understood!"

"Change of plans, people!" Shepard made her way back to the cabin, and leaned against the door. "We're gonna take out that Hades Cannon."

"Right. Do we have a plan?" Kaidan stood up, grabbing the rail next to her.

"That downed shuttle would've been carrying heavy weapons." Cortez yelled over the whine of the engines.

"Perfect. You heard the man." Shepard grinned recklessly. "Once we're clear, make your way to the crashed shuttle. We'll search the wreckage for heavy weapons."

"Ready when you are." Kaidan flared his biotics, feeling the energy surge from the amp of the back of his neck.

"Let's do it, Ma'am!" Vega unclipped his assault rifle off his back plate, and checked the heat sink. "Let's take down these bastards!"

Shepard slammed her fist against the door release, exposing the squad to Earth's air for the first time in months. She leaned forward, gritting her teeth as she fired towards the ground.

"Clear a path!" She yelled, targeting the approaching husks. Kaidan built up a surge, and sent a wave outwards, throwing back the creatures before they could reach the landing shuttle. "Now! Go!"

She flung herself off the shuttle, scrambling over large pieces of fallen masonry.

"Shit!" Startled, Vega lunged after her, dragging Kaidan behind him. "Major, we gotta move!"

The shuttle lifted off behind them, spiraling up into the sky.

"Sorry, Commander! I can't stay here!"

"Get clear!" Shepard's voice came over the comms, but Kaidan couldn't see her anywhere. "Come get us after we've taken that turret out!"

"Roger that! Cortez out."

Kaidan pulled himself over a large collapsed pillar, and surveyed the area.

"Two guns down, but we still can't land!" An unknown woman's voice called out over the comms.

"Shepard?" He called into his radio. "Where did you go?"

"Over here!" Over the noise of the Reapers and the comms, he heard her voice echo from a small valley in the rubble."Little help?"

Looking down, he spotted her, crouched against the downed shuttle. Several of the large Cannibal Reapers were making their way towards her, their aim blocked by the burning wreckage.

"Shiiit." Vega muttered, then aimed his rifle carefully. Three of the Cannibals went down, the remaining one flew into the air, flailing as it fought Kaidan's biotics.

"We'll be right there!"

As they approached her location, Cortez's voice frantically called out.

"Damn it, You've got airborne hostiles inbound! Gonna try to keep 'em off you!"

"Careful, Cortez!"Shepard yelled, turning her face up towards the sky as the shuttle screamed past them.

"Dammit, I'm hit!" The rear engine exploded, sending sparks showering down towards them.

"Steve!" There was utter panic in Shepard's voice, and she looked small, huddled against the other crashed shuttle.

"I'm all right!"

"You sure?"

"But I won't be picking you up. I gotta land this bird quick."

"Get safe."

"Anything for you." _It's amazing how much they all trust her. The entire galaxy is about to follow her into hell. And where am I? _He slid down the embankment, landing softly in the gravel. _Right behind her. _

"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked breathlessly, staring into her eyes.

"Fine." She brandished a large weapon at him. "Brace me?" _A Cain? Holy shit. They weren't kidding about the heavy weaponry. _

"You know how to use that thing?" He said, kneeling down next to her, locking one arm around her waist as he settled against the shuttle.

"Cerberus let me have one." She clicked the safety off. "It's what I used to take down the Proto-Reaper."

"If you say so." _Cerberus let you run around with one of those? Damn, they were crazier than I thought!_

"Trust me!" She leaned against him, and aimed up at the large Reaper Cannon. Her arms shook as the gun charged, and Kaidan bit his lip. _I hear the recoil on this is a bitch. _He tightened his grip on Shepard just as the gun fired. She slammed against his chest, groaning with the strain of the recoil, as the Hades Cannon exploded.

"That's it!" The female voice chirped over their comms. "Last gun down! All hammer teams, prepare for landing!"

Shepard exhaled, relaxing into his arms.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Okay." She brushed her hair away from her face, and grinned down at him. "Welcome home."

"Hey, if you two are done snuggling down there, I could use some help!" Vega called out from the other side of the shuttle. Shepard dropped the spent Cain, and grabbed her rifle off the ground. As she and Kaidan joined James, she yelled into her comms. "Anybody, Come in! We need extraction!"

No response came over the radio, instead the screams of a Banshee rolled towards them.

"Fuck." Shepard groaned as they held off the wave of husks. "How are we on clips?"

"I think we'll be find if I stick to biotics." Kaidan said, checking his holster.

"We can take the bitch." Vega nodded.

"Kaidan?" Shepard asked softly. "You can hold her?"

He flared up his biotics, letting the power roll all the way up to his elbow.

"When she gets close." He nodded. "But not too close."

"Got it."

The lanky creature appeared over the lip of the hill, glaring down at them with large, angry eyes.

"Oh. That's a lot freakier when it's not behind glass." Vega muttered. Shepard snorted, and focused on the husks that accompanied the Banshee.

"Major, I'm counting on you."

Kaidan quickly judged his distances against how much strength he had. _Just a little closer... _

"Kaidan?"

"Got it!"

He flung out a huge surge of power, surrounding the warped Asari. As his power surrounded it, restrained it, the creature turned its head to glare at him. The terrible look thankfully didn't last long, Shepard and Vega ripped the Banshee to shreds with their assault rifles.

"Banshee down!" Shepard yelled. "Now we just have to hold out against the rest!"

Letting his power drop, Kaidan grabbed his pistol and check his ammo.

"How long will that be?"

"I don't know." She admitted. "As long as we can."  
>They hunkered down next to the shuttle, and Shepard leaned up on a piece of rubble, aiming her rifle at the advancing hoard. After what seemed like an eternity, a new voice, male, with a thick British accent, came over the comms.<p>

"Commander! Prepare for extraction." An Alliance shuttle roared towards them, and hovered at the top of the embankment. The door opened, and the voice called out again. "Come on. We'll cover you! Hurry, we're taking fire!"

"Let's go!" Shepard screamed, and dashed out from their cover. Kaidan and Vega were neck and neck behind her, ignoring the approaching Reapers, the shuttle their only target. There was a slight gap between the top of the hill and the shuttle, and they leapt across, landing heavily in the small cabin. Once they were aboard, the door slammed shut behind them.

"Get us out of here, Corporal!" The owner of the accented voice shouted, his steely gray eyes, relaxing as he eyed Shepard. "You okay?"

"I'm alive." She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, her face grim.

"That you are, Commander."

Shepard's solemn expression melted as she turned to face Admiral Anderson, as he leaned against the cockpit wall.

"Anderson!" Her eyes lit up with excitement.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down, Shepard."

She reached her hand out to shake his hand, but he pulled her against him in a tight hug. Her eyes closed for a brief moment, and she smile contentedly. _She loves him. Not like she loves me, but there is love there. _Kaidan felt himself smile. He had always respected Anderson, and felt the man had treated Shepard like a favored child. _Maybe she sees a father in him. _Anderson was smiling as well as they pulled apart.

"And you're a sight for sore eyes." He leaned back against the wall.

"How are we looking?"

"Now that the heavy air defenses are dealt with, Hammer can land."

"And not a moment too soon." The British officer piped in.

"What's left of the resistance is holding a Forward Operating Base." Anderson continued. "But the Reapers are countering already. Once we regroup, it's going to be up to Hammer to take up the fight."

"It must have been brutal here, cut off from the rest of the Alliance."

Vega shuffled his feet awkwardly, and Kaidan remembered how badly he had wanted to stay on Earth and fight.

"It's been touch and go from day one. But once we figured out the Reapers were focusing on the major centers, it became easier to avoid direct contact."

"Until London." There was sadness in the voice of the other officer. _I wonder if he lived here. _

"Yeah." Agreed Anderson. "We held back as long as we could. Sending in recon teams. Lost a lot of good men planning this attack. But with soldiers like Major Coats..." He gestured to the British officer. "And knowing you'd bring us help... we held on."

"Without you and your resistance, we'd be dead in the water." Shepard looked at the Admiral nervously, as if she still needed his approval for her actions.

"Yeah, the Admiral's being modest." Coats said. "He's the reason any of us are still alive."

"Let's not start handing out medals just yet. This fight is just getting started. And Hammer better be ready for it."

"They didn't start out together." Shepard glanced over Anderson's shoulder, locking eyes with Kaidan. "But they're ready to stand side by side and win this war."

"Good." Anderson nodded. "That's what it's going to take."

"We'll get it done, Anderson."

The man turned away, glancing out sadly through the small window.

"I was born in London."

"Really?"

Wordlessly, Anderson nodded. _His family probably left soon after. For space, or the North American States. Like how we left Singapore. But there's still a connection..._

"The entire galaxy united." Anderson said slowly. "Too bad it took the Reapers to bring us together."

"The Commander can take the credit for that." Kaidan leaned forward, and Anderson appeared to notice him for the first time.

"That's exactly what I meant." Anderson's eyes flicked between them, and Shepard gave a slight nod. Kaidan was confused for a moment, until he remembered how much the Admiral knew about them. _He wants Shepard to be happy. _"I know you didn't like leaving, Shepard, but nobody could've accomplished what you've done."

"It's good to be back home."

"There's the FOB!" Coats pointed out the window.

"Looks good." Anderson nodded. "Give Hammer the all clear."

They passed the approaching Alliance ground forces, and circled down into the walled complex. Shepard and Anderson stepped off together, and were approached by a marine with a datapad.

"Admiral, we've set up a command center in the building over there."

"Looks like we've still got groups coming in."

"Yes, sir, but not as many as we'd hoped."

"Hmm. Come see me when you're ready, Shepard."

"Will do." She responded, as the Admiral walked away with the marine.

"I would have expected more of Hammer to be here by now." Vega said, craning his thick neck to look around the area. Shepard turned away from them, staring into the distance.

"A lot of them won't be making it." She glanced back over her shoulder. "You two go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Vega shrugged, and tugged on Kaidan's arm.

"Let's go, Major."

_Something wrong. I can feel it. _He let Vega lead him away from Shepard, watching her disappear around a corner. His worries were momentarily shoved aside, as an excited shout echoed across the small courtyard.

"MAJOOOOOR!"

Seven figures barreled towards him, skidding to a halt a few feet in front of him. Several hasty salutes were thrown up, dirty, yet eager faces peer up at him. _My students. My kids. They're all okay. _He saluted back, and took a moment to inspect them all. Colin had a large cut across his face, Midge was favoring her left leg, and the rest were covering in small scrapes and bruises. But they were alive.

"At ease, Privates." He smiled. "I'm glad to see all of you. Everyone okay?"

They all spoke at once, talking over each other with escalating volume. He caught snippets of words like 'Reapers, destroyed, families, awesome, bombs, and hurt.'

Shaking his head, he held up his hands for quiet.

"I think I get the picture."

"How are you, Major?" Astra asked, her green eyes bright. "How was traveling with Commander Shepard?"

"It's so cool that you know her." Colin interrupted, and Kaidan hid a smile. _You have to maintain a level of professionalism around these kids. _"I know we're going to win, now that..." His voice trailed off, and Kaidan turned to see Shepard approaching.

As if they could sense the tone of the moment, the students stepped back several feet.

"Hey, Kaidan." She called.

"Hey. There you are."

"You ready?" _Be brave in front of the kids. Be strong for them. Be strong for Shepard._

"Absolutely. For anything. Bring it on."

"And Biotics Division? Your students?" She glanced over, raising an eyebrow as they stared back. Kaidan laughed.

"More than ready. Eager. That's youth for you." _I remember being that young. Being that idealistic about war. Not anymore._ "Guess we're old soldiers, hey, Shepard?"

"Yeah, I guess we are."

They stared at each other, and Kaidan felt his heart sink. _We can't fool ourselves anymore. This is the end of the line. I didn't get to say goodbye last time. I'll never forgive myself if I don't get to say it now. _

"Comrades in arms... We know the score. We know this is goodbye." He tried to keep his voice down, so that his students didn't hear, but he knew they could see his face. _I can't inspire them to walk into death. I'm not her. _

Shepard shook her head, and closed the distance between them.

"When this is over, I'm gonna be waiting for you." Her voice cracked, and her eyes welled up. She blinked back the tears, and Kaidan felt himself do the same. "You'd better show up."

"Don't get me wrong." He leaned forward, standing as close as protocol would let him. "I'm gonna fight like hell for the chance to hold you again. But listen... there's things I want to say." He sighed, and swallowed hard, fighting to keep his voice steady. "Looking back... I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right?" He turned away from her, away from his students, and looked up at the soaring wreckage of the London skyline. It was a city he had always dreamed of visiting; before biotics, and BAaT had taken their tool on him. "Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had. And I owe a lot of that to you, you know." _I owe it all. I never would have come out of my shell, stopped obsessing about my past mistakes, found new love and new happiness with you in my arms... _

"It's been quite a ride."

"It sure has." He looked back at her, saw her shake away the last of her tears. "But how are you doing? Scared?"

"Damn straight, I'm scared." She breathed deeply. "But that fear's gonna keep me alive long enough to strike these bastards right through the heart."

"Yeah. Exactly."

"So..." She stepped back awkwardly, as if remembering their small audience. Her voice rose in volume. "Take care, Major." She moved as if she was going walk past him, and without thinking, he reached out for her.

_Fuck protocol. Fuck everything. It's the end of the world. _

He pulled her towards him, holding her face with his other hand. She leaned into the kiss, all of their fear and grief melting away as they spent one last moment wrapped in each other. Kaidan didn't care that they were standing in the heart of the Alliance, that his students, every Marine, every ally, was watching them. Nothing mattered in the world but Shepard. They broke apart, and he leaned his forehead against hers, as they had done so many times before.

"I can't lose you again." He pulled away to look down into her eyes. The tears were welling up again, and he could see a shine on her cheeks where his had smeared. She looked away from him hurriedly, her breaths deep and deliberate. She wiped her eyes and cheeks absently with the back of her hand. "Well, I should find the rest of my squad."

"Yeah." She walked away from him towards the command center, and he looked up again at the skyline.

"You know..." He said to no one in particular. "I've never been to London."

"Major?" A small voice called out from behind him. Where once had stood seven excited Privates, stood seven terrified teenagers. Colin was doing his best to hold himself together, do his job as self appointed leader, while the rest were on the verge of tears. _Well, I think I've already broken most of the protocol rules. What's one more?_

"Come here." He gestured to the kids. They rushed forward, holding on to him as much as they did to each other. He did his best to comfort them, smoothing down Midge's hair, patting Mags on the shoulder gently.

"What's going to happen now, Major?" Charlie, the smallest of the boys, adjusted his ill fitting uniform.

"I don't know."

"Are we going to die?" Astra asked, between sobs.

"I don't know." He took her chin in his hands, lifting her face to look up at him. "But Shepard thinks we're going to win. And I trust her with my life. I trust her with everything."

They eventually broke out of the group embrace, and stood together in the fog, waiting for orders, waiting for Shepard and the other officers to determine their fate. _Whatever happens, take me with you. Let me help. _

_Don't leave me behind. _


	23. Chapter 23

(A/N So this ended up being super long... so I split it in 2 for you guys so it's not completely overwhelming.. So you are getting two chapters at the same time. :D Once the main story line is complete (i.e. the next two chapters), I do plan on writing an epilogue, so stick around! Right. This was crazy intense to write, I hope you guys like it!

Oh, and early warning, based on the last few reviews that came in... a few of you might want a tissue or something.)

Chapter 23

As the fog rolled through the courtyard, a harried Marine ran up towards Kaidan and saluted.

"Major!"

"At ease, soldier. What's going on?"

"You've been tapped as a battalion leader. When Anderson calls, you'll report to the CIC. If Commander Shepard doesn't take you in her squad, you'll be given further instructions."

"Right. Thanks."

The man saluted again, handed him a small datapad, and jogged off.

"What's going to happen to us, if you go with Shepard?" Midge asked, leaning into Rico. Kaidan sighed, and studied his students. _I can't have them go forward. They don't have enough experience._

"Okay, here's the deal." He gestured with his arms for them to huddle in. "There is no way I'm letting Shepard go without me. She and I have come too far. When we leave, I want you guys to go with the rear guard. They'll be making sure nothing sneaks up on us, and will be heading several clicks back." He checked information on the datapad, and smiled. "Looks like you'll be meeting up with Jack and the other kids from Grissom."

"They're still around?" Colin's eye lit up. "We get to see Jack?" Kaidan smothered a laugh, Colin's hero worship of Shepard was second only to his infatuation with Jack. He had talked about her constantly during his training, and leapt at every chance to see her. Kaidan wasn't sure if she was planning to kill him, or just humored him, but he was glad Colin was excited about something.

"Yes. Find Jack. She'll keep you safe." He frowned, and leaned in closer. "But if things go south for Hammer, you run, got it? Hide. Keep yourselves alive as best as you can. There is no shame in that."

"Battalion leaders, report to HQ." Anderson's voice called out over a set of loudspeakers.

"Alright, guys. This is it." He gave each of the kids a firm hug, pretending to not see their terror. "Colin, keep them safe. Get them to Jack."

He patted his best student on the shoulder. "This will be all over before you know it."

He turned away from them, and made his way up a long embankment of rubble, catching up to Vega and Garrus ahead of him.

"Kaidan!" His Turian friend called out, clasping hand to talon. "Glad to see you made it down here alright."

"Couldn't let you take all the credit." Vega snorted, and the men made their way to the Command Center. Anderson was waiting for them, the rest of the Normandy squad milled around the edge of the room. Tali and Liara ran over to them, a look of relief on Liara's face most likely mirrored on Tali's. _They were all probably on different shuttles_. EDI approached slower, and Javik just stared at them as he leaned against a broken pillar. The British soldier, Major Coats nodded a greeting as he made eye contact with Kaidan.

Anderson booted up a large holographic map, and as he stepped aside, Shepard came into view. Her hair was finally long enough to be pulled back, and it gave her face a long and serious look, but her expression softened slightly when she looked up and saw Kaidan.

"We fought hard to get here. but now the toughest part of our mission begins." Anderson ran a finger through the map of occupied London. "We've got to drive right through the heart of Reaper controlled territory, break past their defenses, and get to that beam."

"What kind of defenses?" Shepard asked, walking around the table to study the map from a different angle.

"The entire area is crawling with Reaper forces, but your biggest concern is the destroyer protecting the beam itself." The map shifted slightly, and the red outline of a Reaper appeared.

"Can we bring in air support to deal with it?" Coats asked, his hand gently stroking his chin. Anderson shook his head.

"Negative. Some kind of interference. We'll have to take it out from the ground. Now they've cut a swath, a no man's land, through the city. We'll have to cross that first. There'll be some limited shelter on the other side, but expect heave ground resistance. We need to get our tanks to here." He jabbed his finger at the map again. "If we get close enough, we've got a shot at taking that thing out."

Coats grimaced.

"How much of a shot?"

"They know we're coming. This will be a one-way trip for many of us." Shepard was trying to avoid eye contact with Kaidan, but she failed. They stared at each other from across the map, as their fates were planned. "But there can be no retreat, no stepping back. We move forward at all costs. Understood?"

"Hooyah." Shepard said, her attention snapping back to Anderson. "Yes, Sir!"

"Johnson, Coats, you two will coordinate the artillery units. Shepard, I'm sending you right up the gut where the resistance is heaviest. Support the tanks the best you can, but stay alive. I need you for the final push to the beam." The Admiral turned to leave, and hesitated. "I'll give you a moment with your squad. Pick your team well."

He patted her on the back affectionately and walked out of the room, flanked by the other soldiers. Soon, only the Normandy crew remained.

Shepard turned off the map and leaned on the table. She breathed in deeply, then looked up.

"This war's brought us pain and suffering and lost. But it's also brought us together, as soldiers, allies, friends." _As more._ She scanned the group, her eyes lingering on Kaidan's, and he knew she was thinking the same thing. "This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand." Out of the corner of his eye, Kaidan saw Garrus slip his arm around Tali, pulling the small Quarian against him. _Shepard and I aren't the only people facing separation._ "It's more powerful than any weapon, stronger than any ship, it can't be taken or destroyed. The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy. Every mother. Every son. Every unborn child. They're trusting you... depending on you to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the Reapers." She looked back to Kaidan, as if she spoke only to him. But take heart. Look around you. You're not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together, and together we will defeat them." With a final sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair. "Kaidan, Garrus. With me. Everyone else will stay together and move with Hammer."

As they stepped forward, Tali grabbed Garrus's arm.

"I'm going too."

Shepard opened her mouth to protest, but Garrus held up his hand.

"Tali, you're an Admiral. There are only a few Quarians on the ground, and they're looking to you for orders and support."

Her bright eyes narrowed behind her mask.

"That's not why you want me to stay and you know it." She sighed, placing her gloved hand gently on his arm. "What if something happens?"

"Then you find a way to get back to Rannoch. Tali, you're the only one of us with a home to go back to."

"Shepard's taking Kaidan." She pointed out, but her voice said knew she was defeated.

"They're both crazy." Garrus leaned forward, bumping his forehead against her mask. "You're not crazy. Stay safe. Get home."

She nodded, and turned to leave with the rest of the team. As they reached the door, they turned as one, looking back at the squad.

"It's been an honor." Kaidan said, saluting his crewmates. They saluted back, or raised hands in farewell. Without another word, they were gone. _Will I ever see any of them again? _

Shepard turned to them, a grim smile on her face that did not reach her eyes.

"Ready for a trip to the Citadel?"

"Only if we skip Chora's Den." Garrus said dryly.

"Still don't think we're allowed in there."

Kaidan rolled his eyes as they departed the Command center, and headed for the rendezvous point.

"What would you have done, if I hadn't asked you to come?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Come anyway."

"But Tali-"

"Tali has something else to live for."

Shepard slowed to a stop, and looked up at him. "There is nothing else in this galaxy I want more, than to be by your side at the end."

She opened and shut her mouth, unable to find any words.

"Besides, Commander..." He said as they started walking again. "I would have pulled rank on you."

She smiled sadly, and they joined the ranks of the Hammer advance teams. It was controlled chaos, as any major military operation ended up being, everyone rushing to get somewhere to wait. The air was thick with anticipation, like electricity. _It feels like everything would go up in flames if I flared my biotics._ They leaned against a tank, and watched a squad of Marines dash past.

"Come on, Chief!" One of them yelled over his shoulder.

"Shut it! I'm moving as fast as I can!" The Chief responded, a dark braid whipping by as she followed her squad.

"I miss Ash." Kaidan said, and Garrus nodded.

"She'd be so pissed if she knew what she was missing."

Shepard made a noise that might have been a laugh, and shook her head.

"But she's the one that let us get to this point." She elbowed Garrus. "And who knows, Vakarian. She might be saving us a spot at the bar."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence, remembering their friend, lost so long ago. Finally, the call went out to move. Shepard pushed herself away from the tank, and unclipped her rifle.

"Time to go."

As they approached the no man's land, Kaidan caught his first sight of their end destination through the ruined buildings. A bright light shone up, piercing the sky. He only saw it for a moment, as Hammer moved into position, it slipped from view.

"The Mako is going to cut through the middle, lets take the left flank." Shepard hissed. "Let's see if we can get through with minimal detection." They slipped away from the main force, climbing through the rubble to a less exposed path. There were only a few stray Reapers in their way, Cannibals and Husks that fell quickly to their attacks.

As they approached the Mako to regroup, the chatter of the Hammer squads crackled over the comms.

"Anyone know how the hell we're supposed to take down a destroyer with tanks?"

"Thanix missiles can do a fuckton of damage."

"If you say so!"

"Cut the chatter!" Coats bellowed over the line. "You heard the Admiral, no retreat!"

A loud screech brought everything to a stop, one of the flying Reapers descended, spitting fire at everything in its sight.

"Get down!" Shepard yelled, taking cover behind a half wall. "After it fires, hit it with everything!"

She and Garrus popped over the wall, firing at the creatures head and wings. Kaidan aimed small biotic fields at it, hoping to drain the shields. Finally, its wings full of holes, the creature dropped to the ground, and exploded in a blinding flash of light. Shepard bolted forward to the burning Mako, and swung herself on top of it. After wrenching the hatch open, she reached down inside to pull out the first marine.

"Shepard, we gotta move!" Kaidan yelled, as more marines swarmed the transport to help their comrades. Shepard made a face as she helped the first soldier down, letting others take her place.

They moved away from the burning wreckage, and kept running down side streets until a frantic marine called out over the radio.

"We're taking heavy fire from the second story! Request assistance!"

"We'll try to clear the building!" Shepard responded, scanning the building before them. "This way!" Shepard darted through a door into the bottom level of a parking garage. "Oh shit!"

Several Reapers were waiting for them, the warped Turian Marauders growled in low guttural tones as they approached. For once, Garrus seemed more eager on the gun then Shepard, tearing through what had once been his own species. He shook his head at them as they stepped over the twisted corpses, climbing a ladder to the next floor.

What had once been a nice apartment greeted them, the bright wallpaper and cheery decor thick with dust and rubble, the wall facing the street completely missing. As the squad wiped out the Cannibals that had pinned down the Hammer force, Kaidan tried his best not to look at the corpses huddled in the corner. _This was someone's home, and the Reapers destroyed it, with them inside._

They left the flat, and crept down the hallway, finding themselves back on the street. As she stopped to get their bearing, Kaidan studied Shepard's face. There was dust smeared across her forehead, stuck to the sweat that dotted her hairline. Her eyes were fierce, her mouth set in a frown of concentration. her hair was fighting it's restraints, strands hung in all directions. She inhaled sharply, and pointed down the street.

"That way. Through that shop?"

Two steps later, a Brute burst its way through the last non-broken window, roaring as glass sprayed out over the squad.

"Kaidan!" Shepard screamed, as she ducked. "Pull it!"

He reached out with his power, wrapping the fragile insides of the monster as he had done at Sanctuary. Snapping it back, he ripped them away as the Brute howled and collapsed.

"That was disgusting." Garrus said. "But effective."

"Yeah." Kaidan said, making a point not to look at the mess he had made. "Through that shop there?"

"Yup." Shepard said, and gave her head a shake. Little fragments of glass drifted out, and as she straightened up, he noticed a small line of blood mingling with the dirt on her face.

The shop was empty, it's shelves bare of all merchandise.

"There must have been looting in the first few days." He remarked softly, as they exited through the back door.

"Probably." Shepard agreed. "Almost makes me glad I wasn't here for that."

"All right, people. Eyes peeled." Coats barked out again. "The buildings will give us some cover, but it gives them a place to hide."

"Roger that!" A female voice answered, and another frantic voice burst onto the line.

"Contact! This is Delta... we're being overrun!"

"What's your location?" Coats yelled, but the the only response was screaming, then silence. "God dammit!"

Shepard grimaced as they listened, it was just another reminder that other people were fighting, dying, counting on them.

"We close?" Garrus asked, his voice humming as he whispered. Shepard nodded.

"Just down that alley... with... the two Brutes." She looked back at Kaidan. "You're up again, Major."

Taking a deep breath, Kaidan sent a biotic wave out to the first Brute, dropping it quickly with a nauseating squish. The second monster charged them, roaring as it ran with claws outstretched.

Shepard and Garrus started firing at it, and Kaidan summoned a surge of energy. Instead of pulling at the exposed organs, he pushed against them with all his power, sending them ripping through the Brutes ribs. It roared again, then crashed to the ground, skidding to a halt at Shepard's feet. Kaidan wobbled, the sudden rush of power leaving him lightheaded.

"Hey Commander, I got you a present." He laughed, steadying himself against the nearby wall, and sliding down it.

"Garrus! Catch him!" As Garrus lowered him slowly to the ground, Shepard knelt in front of him, rummaging through a small pouch. "Kaidan? We can't rest now. Still have work to do." She pulled out a half crush energy bar, and forced it into his hand. "Eat this. It will give you enough strength to get us to the rest of Hammer." She leaned forward, and kissed him on the forehead. "You did good."

"Able company's broken through!" A thickly accented voice came over the comms. "Christ, that destroyer is huge!"

"Hold your position! The rest of Hammer is still en route."  
>"Aye aye, Major!"<p>

Kaidan ate as quickly as he could, while Shepard and Garrus stood watch over him. The energy bar Shepard had been carrying was specially formulated for biotics, restoring the chemicals their bodies needed to restore their power. _She must have know all along she was going to bring me. _He pulled himself up, feeling his strength returning, and nodded at her. Before she could say anything, the marine with the accent called out again.

"Destroyer just took out half our company! Firing remaining missiles!"

"Any effect?"

"Negative! Can't get a lock, something's messing with our guidance."

"We're almost there, Able. Hold on!"

Shepard frowned, trying to tuck her hair back behind her ears with annoyance.

"Let's go. We have to get to Coats."

"Through here. The road looks blocked up ahead." Garrus pointed through a large broken window. They climbed through, making their way through an restaurant, long abandoned of patrons, now home only to husks and corpses.

"We're at the rendezvous. Hammer companies, report in."

"Bravo and Delta companies have sustained heavy casualties. No word from Able or Charlie. Echo, Foxtrot and India are here, but severely depleted. Lost contact with Golf."  
>"All companies prep Thanix missiles. Be ready, people."<p>

"Major, any sign of Shepard?"

"Not yet. But she'll be here."

Hearing her name, Shepard picked up her pace, tearing through the husks to get out the other side of the building.

"How are we supposed to take that thing down?" Another Marine asked.

"We wait for it to get lose, then we hit with everything we've got."

"Our guidance systems are buggered!"

"Roger that. Our engineers are on it!"

"Think it's got something to do with the beam."

"Damn." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck as they climbed back out onto the street. "How big is this thing?"

"About the same size as the one on Rannoch, I guess." Shepard said over her shoulder. "We can take it!" As they ran, Kaidan noticed her wincing every time the Hammer chatter came over the comms. The worst came in as they were sneaking through another small shop.

"They're sending in more ground forces!

"They're coming in behind us!"

"They're coming from everywhere!"

"They're going for the tanks!"

"Protect the tanks at all costs! Without those missiles we've got no chance!"

Shepard barreled her way through the shop door, and staggered out onto the street.

"There's the artillery!" Garrus yelled, pointing down the street, and Shepard grinned with relief.

Her smile faded as they approached the missiles, the streets were littered with dead marines.

"But the company's been wiped out."

"Commander, do you read me?" Coats asked over the radio.

"Major? What's the situation?"

"The beam's interfering with missile guidance. We can hit the destroyer, but we'll never make the precision strike we need to take it out."

"Damn it!"

The squad ran up to the tank, and Shepard stared at the controls with frustration.

"Shepard." EDI's voice was a welcome sound. _The Normandy is still out there, somewhere. _"I may have a solution. I should be able to use the Normandy's systems to enhance the missiles' targeting capabilities. I just need to create a link."

"Do it!"

They hunkered down against the tank, scanning the nearby landscape for incoming Reapers. The roar of the destroyer in the distance shook Kaidan to his bones, and he tried not to look at it.

"That's it. I'll let you know when I've adapted the targeting systems."

"Right."

"Sounds like good news, Commander." Coats chimed in.

"We'll see." Shepard looked exhausted, but her face brightened when Anderson's voice sounded in their earpieces.

"Hammer. This is Admiral Anderson. The Reaper ground forces are making a push. Hold your ground. Protect those tanks until we can get a shot."

"You heard him. Get ready."

"He does know we're all of Hammer that's here, right?" Garrus sighed. Kaidan stuck his head around the side of the tank, movement catching his eye.

"There they are!" he yelled, and Shepard crept over to him. With a nod, she popped out of cover, taking down a row of husks.

"Save your biotics for any of the big fuckers!" She yelled at him over the noise of her guns. "Stick to small arms for now."

"Aye aye, ma'am!"

"Commander..." A marine coughed painfully over the radio. "We tried to hold them off, but they destroyed our trucks. Overwhelmed our position. Your left flank is gone. They're headed your way!" She coughed again. "I'm sorry, Ma'am!"

"Hang in there, soldier." Shepard shook her head, then tucked her hair behind her ears. "Head's up. We've got more incoming!"

Kaidan glanced to the left, where Cannibals were already visible.

"We need to cover our left flank!"

As they moved, the Reaper destroyer roared, and shot a beam at the building nearest them. As rubble rained down on them, Garrus grimaced.

"I think the big one knows where we are."

"Well, we do need it to get closer so we can aim." Shepard said, tossing a grenade towards the approaching creatures. "Though this is not an ideal situation."

They held out for what seemed like an eternity before EDI's voice came back.

"Commander. I have reprogrammed targeting. Missiles are ready for launch."

"Got it." She grinned. "You heard her! Back to the truck, people!"

They stayed low as they ran, Garrus laying down fire to cover their retreat. Shepard activated the console on the side of the truck, and narrowed her eyes.

"Firing!"

She stepped back, and they watched the missile arc towards the destroyer. As they swerved away at the last moment, Shepard let a volley of curses fly.

"EDI! What happened?" She yelled into her radio.

"The Reaper is still too close to the beam."

"We're down to two missiles." Kaidan sighed, glancing at the other truck further down the street. "And we haven't even made a dent."

"You will need to allow the Reaper to move out of the beam's influence."

"And closer to us..." Shepard stared up at the approaching Reaper. "Dammit."

"Commander." Anderson said. "Hammer's being overrun at every turn. Reaper ground forces are converging on your location."

"Of course they are." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck.

"We're fighting our way to you... hold on, Commander! Hold on."

Shepard turned, her face inches from his, he could feel her breath on his neck as she sighed.

"We can do this!"

"We'll find out." He looked over the top of her head. "Here they come!"

The creatures descended together, husks, Cannibals, and Marauders. More Reapers than Kaidan had ever wanted to see in his entire life. _Just stick close to Shepard. Don't let her out of your sight._ He followed her out of cover, and towards the other truck. A roar signaled the arrival of a Brute, and Kaidan spun frantically, searching for its location.

"Shit!" Shepard screamed, ducking to avoid the monster's claw as it passed over her head. "Get it!"

Kaidan tore the Brute down, his adrenaline pumping. _You can't take her. I won't let you. _

More of the smaller husks appeared, swarming like flies around the squad.

"How are you on clips?" Garrus yelled as they reached the second set of missiles.

"Not too bad!" Shepard yelled back. "I don't know how long they will last though!" She glanced up, and her face went white. Kaidan followed her gaze, and swore under his breath. The destroyer was practically on top of them. _This is what it was like for her on Rannoch. But that time, she knew the fleet would come through for her. We have no idea if this is going to work or not. _

"Commander The destroyer in range! Missiles are ready for launch!"

"Roger that, EDI!" She spun to face the consoles, biting her lip tightly. "Firing!"

The missiles flew true, aiming straight for the destroyer's laser. It staggered wildly.

"It's going down!" Coats yelled.

"Hit 'em with everything you got!" Shepard called back.

Rockets flew out of nearby buildings, Hammer must have been closer than they had thought. Explosions riddled the destroyer, and it collapsed to the ground.

"Destroyer terminated!"

"Nice work, EDI!" Shepard wiped her forehead, smearing a new line of blood. _ I wonder what my own face looks like right now. Probably a disaster. _Not for the first time, Kaidan was glad he had cut his hair in the last year. _I wouldn't be able to see anything right now. _

"Shepard, we're on our way to your location."

"Roger that, Admiral."

The area went eerily quiet, with the destroyer down, the Reaper ground forces slunk away from the squad to regroup elsewhere. In the lull, Kaidan reached over to brush Shepard's hair out of her face. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes with a sigh. She rested her hand on his chest, and they stood together before the corpse of the Reaper until the rest of Hammer arrived.

"Shepard!" Anderson's voice rang out down the street. "Over here."

Her eyes sprang open, and looked up at Kaidan.

"Time to go." She said sadly, and turned to walked towards Anderson. _All these small goodbyes... every time we survive something we shouldn't have and move on to the next impossible task... They're pulling me apart. _

"Thank god you made it." Anderson met them next to the first truck, a grim smile on his face. Major Coats followed close behind him.

"It didn't look good." Shepard admitted. Anderson walked past her to stare up at the destroyer.

"It gets worse." He said.

"Of course it does."

"Hackett just reported in. Several Sovereign class Reapers, including Harbinger, have broken off from the battle with Sword. They're headed here."

Shepard's eyes went wide.

"Harbinger?"

"It's an opportunity for Hackett to get the Crucible in place, but we have to get a team on board the Citadel to open those arms. Now."

Coats sighed.

"We still don't even know what we'll find when we get to the Citadel."

"Then that's our job." Shepard adjusted her armor. "Find out what we're up against."

"All right. Saddle up, everybody." Anderson pointed to the large transports, and walked towards them. As the squad moved, Kaidan turned to Garrus.

"Who's Harbinger?"

"Well, you know how the Reapers hate Shepard?"

"Yeah?"

"Harbinger really hates Shepard."

"There's more too it then that, Garrus." Shepard said over her shoulder. "Harbinger was in charge of the Collectors, and used to possess them to fight us." She grinned as she slung herself into the Mako. "He also never shuts up."

"I am assuming direct control." Garrus said in a low voice.

"You feel this." Shepard responded with a snort.

Anderson rolled his eyes at them, and shut the transport door. Everything rattled as they started moving towards the beam. Shepard sat across from the Admiral, and the man leaned forward to talk to her.

"From here on it, it's a straight shot to the beam."

"A straight shot with Reapers trying to crush us along the way."

Garrus nudged Kaidan in the side, and shook his head.

"That guy is just a ray of sunshine, isn't he?"

Anderson turned to look back at them.

"We just need to get a handful of troops through."

"Even a handful seems optimistic."

"We knew this was going to be a gamble at best."

Shepard cleared her throat and stood up, holding on to the wall. She scanned the small transport, her eyes settling on Kaidan.

"Can't think of anyone I'd rather do this with."

"I'm honored to fight with you, Shepard." Garrus said, standing as well. Kaidan felt his mouth go dry, he was almost out of words.

"Till the end, Shepard." Was all he managed to get out. Coats tilted his head, listening to a different radio feed.

"We're in sight of the target."

"All right everyone." Anderson nodded."This is it." Everyone pitched forward as the Mako slammed forward into a ditch. "Shit!"

They clambered out, and ran up the small embankment. The beam was before them, glowing ominously as it shot into the sky. Behind it, a Reaper as large as Sovereign had been waited for them. It roared, shaking the ground.

"Just like Ilos?" Kaidan muttered.

"Wish I had a Mako." Shepard gasped, unable to take her eyes off the beam.

"I don't." Kaidan and Garrus said together.

Shepard turned to look at them both, her eyes sad.

"Oh." She said softly. "My boys."

"We gotta move!" Anderson yelled.

"Ready when you are, Shepard." Kaidan nudged her elbow with his. She nodded, and let hardness take her over.

"Come on!" She screamed, and took off running. "Hammer squads, go go go!"

Kaidan tore after her, hearing Garrus right behind him. The Reaper knew they were coming, and shot at them, the beam making a terrible noise as it tore through the air. Explosions and the screams of the dying filled Kaidan's ears, but he focused on Shepard, staying behind her. He barely had time to react when the Reaper shot directly at them, and sent a Mako hurtling towards them. Garrus grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away before he was crushed, but a hatch flung open and caught him in the side. All the air rushed out of his lungs, as it had when Eva Core had nearly slammed him on Mars. He crumpled to the ground, gasping for air. Garrus propped him up against the vehicle, and grimaced.

"No! Nononono." Shepard yelled as she tore around the Mako. She crouched down, taking his face in her hands. "Kaidan?"

He tried to focus his eyes on her.

"Shepard?" _Why are there two of her?_

She looked away, her face pained, and clicked on her radio.

"Normandy, do you copy? I need an evac right now!"

"We're taking heavy losses up here, Commander!" Joker called back.

"Now!" She screamed.

"On our way, Commander!"

Several small fighters dropped out of the sky to distract the Reaper, and the Normandy followed, the hanger door open, just as it had been when they had rescued Shepard from Vancouver so long ago.

"Come on!" She yelled at Garrus, and she tucked herself under Kaidan's arm. "We gotta walk now. I know you're hurting, but we have to go!"

As they hobbled towards the ship, he felt his head clearing. _This evac is for me. She's going back to the beam._ They stepped onto the Normandy, and Kaidan felt his heart start to break.

"Here, take him..." She passed Kaidan into Garrus's waiting arms, and turned to head back out.

"Shepard!" He yelled desperately. _You can't do this to me._

"You've gotta get out of here!" She shook her head, sending her hair flying free of it's restraints. Kaidan reached out for her, trying to grab her arm. Garrus groaned as he struggled to hold him up.

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." _I have to go with you. _

"You're in no condition to fight!" Her face was hard again, determined, emotionless.

"I'm with you to the end!" He cried out, his voice breaking. _This isn't happening. _

"Don't argue with me, Kaidan." A crack appeared in her demeanor, she struggled to maintain control of her voice.

"Don't leave me behind..." He begged, hopelessness overwhelming him. Shepard blinked rapidly, and walked towards him, her face a mirror of the grief he felt tearing through his bones.

"No matter what happens... know that I love you. Always." She reached a gloved hand up, and cradled it against the side of his face. He pressed against it, never wanting to feel its absence. He reached his hand up, placing it over hers, holding down tightly. _As if that could make her stay. _

"I love you, too." As she pulled away, her hand slipped through his, and his contact with her was gone. She started back down the ramp, still facing him. "Be careful." _Please. Find a way to survive. I swear I'll come back. I'll find you. _She nodded, walking back down the ramp.

"Go!" She screamed, and turned away to run back towards the beam.

Part of him felt like it was ripping apart, and he reached a hand out to her trying to summon any power he had left to pull her back to him. His biotics were depleted, and all he could do was collapse to his knees as the Normandy pulled away. _She's going to die. Oh god. Please. No._

"Joker, where is everyone else?" Garrus asked softly.

"The rest of Hammer hit a roadblock further back. Shall we pick them up as well?"

"We might want to." Garrus sighed, and called to Cortez. "Help me get him to the med bay."

"No." Kaidan gasped as they grabbed him by the arms. "Take me to the cockpit."

"Kaidan-"

"Cockpit." He watched them stare at each other. "Fine." He wrenched his arms out of their grips, and tried to walk towards the lift. He got two steps before dropping to his knees again.

"Look, just let us stop by and get you medigel. Then we'll go up." Garrus promised. "You might have cracked another rib."

"Fine." He let them half support, half carry him to Chakwas. She made distressed noises when she saw him, and helped him out of his armor, but he shook his head when she went to check his ribs. The ship shook as they stopped again, then everything rattled as it broke atmosphere.

"Cockpit." Kaidan repeated, and lurched off the table. He was still sore, and it hurt to breath, but he had to know what was going on. He and Garrus rushed to the elevator, then through the CIC.

When they reached Joker, the pilot turned to face them, his eyes red.

"Is..." Kaidan's mouth went dry, there wasn't any way in the galaxy he'd be able to finish the question. He slumped against the wall, completely out of energy. Joker shook his head.

"No, Hackett says she and Anderson made it to the beam. They're somewhere on the Citadel now." He gestured out the window at the large structure.

As they stared at it, the door to the cockpit opened, and the rest of the crew filed in. Anyone who wasn't doing something vitally important was there, standing quietly.

A disturbance from the back of the crowd broke the silence, and Tali wormed her way through, followed by Liara, EDI and Vega. Javik was visible at the galaxy map, and Traynor snuck through Vega's wake. Garrus sighed with relief as Tali hugged him tightly, and his long talons ran over her suit, double checking for tears.

"Only one." Tali said, pointing at her leg. "But I think I got the clamp on in time."

"What's happening?" Liara asked frantically, staring at Kaidan. "What happened to Shepard? Why are you here?"

"Kaidan practically took a direct hit from Harbinger." Garrus said, still not letting go of Tali. "Shepard... called down the ship, forced us on, then took off."

The small room went silent again, and Kaidan felt all eyes on him.

"Tap into Hackett's comms." He muttered. "If Shepard is alive, he'll know."

Joker nodded, quickly adjusting dials on his controls. EDI slipped into her chair, and Joker reached a hand out to her. She took it, linking her long silver fingers through his.

"Look!" Liara shouted, pointing out the window. Everyone moved forward to see, the Citadel arms were opening.

"This is it, everyone." Hackett's voice echoed through the cockpit. "The arms are opening." The Crucible moved forward, its outer casing breaking away as it docked with the Citadel. "Ten seconds to contact." It stopped, perfectly aligned with the base of the Presidium tower. "That's it. The Crucible is docked!"

"Now what?" Vega asked. "What's supposed to happen."

"We don't know." Tali whispered.

"Shepard? Commander!" Hackett's voice boomed again.

"I...uh..." Ragged breathing filled the silence room. Kaidan felt every muscle tense. _She's alive, but barely. Please, no. _"What do you need me to do?" She gasped.

"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing." There was a loud groan, and a thud, as if something, or someone had fallen over. "It's got to be something on your end."

"I'm trying." She gasped. "Anderson... he's... gone." There was a collective gasp from the crew behind them. Someone began openly weeping.

"Commander Shepard!"

"I don't see... I'm not sure how to..." She cried out, and the line went silent.

"No." Kaidan slid down the wall. "Please no. No. Nonononono." _Shepard... Please... Get up. _

"Commander? Commander!" Hackett's usually calm voice cracked with strain, then his line went quiet as well.

"What do we do now?" Joker turned back to face the crew.

"We wait." Liara said.

"For what?"

"The end, I guess."

As they waited for anything to happen, Doctor Chakwas pushed her way through the crowd.

"Major... You have to let me give you this." She knelt down beside him and injected him in the side. He barely felt the sting, he felt so numb inside. He looked up slowly, meeting her concerned gaze.

"Why even bother? Everything is lost. Shepard is gone."

The Normandy circled close to the Citadel, and Tali cried out.

"Wait, something's happening!"

Kaidan leaned on Chakwas, and dragged himself to his feet. Whatever she had injected him with worked, his ribs only protested slightly as he stood. Between the Crucible and the Citadel, several small explosions burst out, before one larger explosion flared out. _Shepard... you've done it... Are you alive? _He felt panic rising in his chest. _That explosion... Could she have survived that?_

"All fleets!" Hackett shouted. "The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point!"

"That EMP is about to go off!" Garrus shouted. "We have to get clear!"

"We can get her!" Joker swerved the ship closer to the Citadel.

"There isn't time!"

"I repeat! Disengage and get the hell out of here!" Hackett ordered.

"Joker, listen. We have to go!" Garrus placed an arm on the pilot's shoulder.

"Damn it." Joker whispered. Kaidan felt his knees buckle, and Traynor caught his eye.

"Anyone who doesn't need to be up here, get back!" She yelled, shooing the miscellaneous crew out. "Brace for an emergency jump!" She grabbed Kaidan by the shoulders. "If she survived this long, there is a chance she can survive the EMP. We can come back for her!"

As the ship swung around, they caught sight of a red surge of light traveling down the open arms of the Citadel.

"Oh shit." Joker's face went pale. "Hang on!"

Everything shook as they hit FTL, and Traynor held on tight to a nearby console.

"Joker, the pulse is gaining on us!"

"I know!"

The EMP tore through the ship, and everything in Kaidan's view went red, then black as he hit the floor, and lay still.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Kaidan blinked his eyes in the bright light, and groaned.

"Am I dead?" A frantic voice mumbled from the far side of the cockpit. "I can't feel my leg."

"I don't think you're dead." The second voice was Liara. "And that's my leg, Tali."

"Oh. Sorry."

Slowly, the crew of the Normandy picked themselves up off the floor. Kaidan felt his ribs protest again, but the shot from Chakwas was still numbing everything.

"Joker?" Garrus peered around the chair. The pilot cradled his head in his hands, shaking with shock. "Are you okay? Is anything broken?"

"Not on me." He looked up, his eyes bloodshot. "EDI..." They looked over at his synthetic companion. She sat motionless in her chair, her eyes frozen in a wide, fearful expression. "Something's wrong. She's not in there. And she's not in the ship."

As he looked past EDI, a flash of motion cause Kaidan's eye. Outside the cockpit, a large tree was blowing gently in the breeze. Several strange birds sat on a branch, peering in curiously at them.

"Where are we?" He asked, leaning forward to take a closer look.

"I'm not sure." Traynor said, checking a nearby console. "But the air outside looks like it's breathable."

Joker hauled himself up out of his chair.

"I gotta get out of here. Damn ship feels like a tomb." he looked at EDI, and shuddered. "Please, someone move her before I get back inside. I just can't..." He let the sentence go unfinished, and hobbled towards the airlock. It opened with a hiss, and Joker stepped out into the sunlight.

Trying to push away the knot in his stomach, Kaidan followed. Behind him, he heard Garrus's clear his throat.

"We should check out the external damage to the ship, and get a report from Adams about the engine. Oh no, does anyone know if they're okay down there?"

Tali gasped, and Kaidan heard her take off running.

"I should go check on Cortez." Vega added. "We took in half of Hammer, and they're all on the hanger deck."

He shielded his eyes, and looked out the airlock; the planet was beautiful, tropical and warm. But the waves crashing in the distance amongst the palms only reminded him of Virmire. Of more people he had failed.

He joined Joker at the end of a small cliff, and stared out across the landscape. Garrus followed them, but inspected the ship instead of the view.

"The damage out here looks minimal." He said, scratching his chin. "As long as the engines are in good condition, we should be able to get to the rendezvous point."

Kaidan and Joker looked at each other, their faces twin images of sorrow and pain.

"I..." Joker stammered. "EDI..."

"That pulse probably wiped out anything connected to the Reapers." Garrus said softly, finally coming to stand beside them at the edge. "You know she was built with Reaper tech."

"Not at first." Kaidan said, coughing to alleviate the dryness of his mouth. "When we were at Cerberus... we found files on her creation. She was the rogue VI on Luna."

"What?" Joker stared at him incredulously.

"She gained sentience on her own. Cerberus just improved her with Reaper tech. When we get back to the fleet... Maybe the Quarians can do something..."

"They did build the Geth, after all."

Joker's face brightened, and he looked at Kaidan guiltily.

"Thanks. You okay?"

"I don't know." Kaidan admitted. "I want to get back as soon as possible. Until I've found her, I won't be able to live with myself."

"Kaidan..." Garrus shook his head. "You heard her. We can only imagine what her condition was like... and then to survive those explosions?"

"We left her." He said coldly. "I just... have to find her. Find something." He turned away from the view, and strode back onto the ship.

"Traynor, what's the report from engineering?" Garrus asked, close behind him. Joker stayed outside, waiting for EDI's lifeless body to be moved. The specialist looked up, and wiped her forehead.

"Adams says the engine is intact, but the EMP overloaded several circuits. He says they're going to have to reboot half of the systems."

"How long will that take?"

"About two hours."

Kaidan felt his nerves tense, and a dull ache growing in his side. His injuries were catching up with him, and he knew it. _If I'm going to find her, I need my strength. _

"I need to lie down. Let me know when we are ready to leave."

He left the worried crew behind him, wordlessly limping through the CIC to the elevator. He didn't let himself break until he had reached his cabin, and sat down on the bed. Shepard's sweatshirt lay crumpled next to the blankets, and he held it against his face, breathing in her scent. Leaning forward, he held his head in his hands, and let grief overtake him. _I'm so sorry. I was going to follow you to the end. You sent me away for my own good, and I abandoned you to die. I failed you. _Hot tears ran down his face, and he wiped them away angrily. _What if everyone's right? What if you're lying dead with Anderson on some dark corner of the Citadel? _He slammed his hands down on his thighs. _I should have been there! We should have died together. How am I supposed to go on without you? I can't do this again. _

As he lifted his head, he caught sight of the bedside table. _Her letter. _Slowly, he eased himself across the bed, and opened the small drawer. There wasn't a lot in there, mostly small trinkets collected from far away worlds, but at the bottom, a small datapad lay dark. He picked it up, gently clicking the power on. As it flickered, he felt his heart racing.

"Kaidan.

Oh god, I never wanted you to read this. But if you are, it means I'm gone. Something's finally caught up with me.

I am so sorry.

I never wanted to put you through this again. But you have to be strong, love. If the war is still going, you have to take up the banner from me and carry on. Finish what I started.

If the war is over... If the Reapers took me down with them... Then find a life. I know after everything you've been through, that finding love will be hard, but try. You are too good of a man to spend the rest of your life mourning me. Find a home. Settle down. Raise beautiful children. And know that through everything, I always loved you.

I am so sorry.

I love you.

Yours always.

Shepard."

He stared at the words, as if they were foreign. So much had happened in the last twenty four hours that exhaustion had finally caught up with him. Processing anything was no longer an option. He fell backwards, and was asleep before he hit the bed.

When he opened his eyes, Doctor Chakwas was staring down at him.

"Major? How do you feel?"

"Horrible." He mumbled, pulling himself into a sitting position. "What's going on?"

"The engines are ready. We just have one more thing to do before we leave." She gestured for him to follow, and they made their way to the crew deck. As the lift doors opened, he noticed the rest of the crew gathered around the memorial wall. Garrus nodded at him, and continued adding Admiral Anderson's name.

"I thought... you might want to do this one." He said as he finished, holding out a second plaque. Kaidan took it, staring down at the words.

"You made one for Shepard?"

"We just thought..." Traynor started.

"You said she might be alive!" Kaidan interrupted her, still not looking up from the name.

"If I hadn't, you would have gone crazy." She said softly. "I heard what happened after the wreck of the SR1." She looked at Joker, who nodded. "What would have happened if you had had that kind of reaction in the cockpit?"

Kaidan sighed, knowing she was right. The little spark of hope was all that had kept him sane during their retreat. He took a step towards the wall, then shook his head.

"No. I'm not doing this." He turned to Joker. "Not until I find her. I'll go through the whole Citadel inch by inch if I have too, and until I find her..." He swallowed hard. "Or find no trace of her... I'm not putting this up. Let's get to the rendezvous point."

The crew broke apart, returning to rooms or work stations. Kaidan followed Traynor and Joker up to the CIC. He stopped the specialist at the galaxy map, letting Joker head to his chair alone.

"What happened to EDI?" He asked softly.

"Took her to the AI core." Traynor smiled sadly. "Tali thinks she found some strains of coding locked away in the Normandy's files, but she can't be sure until we get to the rest of the Quarian fleet." Traynor shook her head. "Hope springs eternal, I guess."

"Yeah."

She and Kaidan headed to the CIC, and braced for takeoff. It was rough, but the Normandy was a strong ship, and soon they were in orbit.

"Hitting FTL in ten seconds." Joker called out. "Fleet rendezvous in twenty."

They shot forward, and soon found themselves surrounded by the rest of the Sword fleet. They had barely slowed down when Admiral Hackett's voice roared over the comms.

"Normandy? Is that you? Report!"

"We're alright, Admiral." Joker replied. "We're in stable condition, and we have a large part of Hammer onboard. What's going on? It looks like the fleet is on the move."

"We were waiting on you. We were going to wait another few hours, then give you up as lost. We're heading back to Earth to survey the damage."

"Admiral." Kaidan leaned forward to speak. "Any word on the Citadel?"

"Yes, Major. We've sent a few ships ahead to scout it out. They say a few of the arms are broken, but the rest of it seems to be intact. We are also getting reports of escape pods, and survival bays."

"People are alive on the Citadel? Any word of Shepard?"

"I'm sorry, Major. No word yet. But she's first on our priority list."

"Then let's go!" Joker said impatiently.

"Attention fleet, all ships, FTL back to the Sol system, back to Earth!"

Kaidan dug his nails into Joker's chair as they hit FTL again, and reappeared in the orbit of their home planet. _Holy shit. _Corpses of Reapers drifted slowly through the wreckage of the doomed Sword ships. Joker maneuvered them through debris, and they approached the Citadel with caution.

"The explosions started on the underside of the Presidium tower." Kaidan said, practically pressing his face against the window.

"There's nowhere to dock near there." Joker responded apologetically. "I'll get you as close as I can."

"No, I'll have Cortez take me in the shuttle." He turned, and dashed out of the cockpit. When he reached the hanger dock, he stared in shock, over forty marines stared back at him, filling the room. "Everyone, get up to the crew deck. I need to leave."

Cortez stuck his head out of the shuttle with a curious expression.

"What's going on?"

"We're going to find Shepard."

He waited impatiently for the deck to clear out, and turned as the lift doors opened a final time. Liara, Garrus, Tali and Vega stepped out, staring at him curiously.

"Did you really think we weren't going to come with you?" Garrus asked, shaking his head as they boarded the shuttle.

"I wasn't really thinking." Kaidan admitted.

They departed the Normandy, and Kaidan bounced nervously on the balls of his feet as Cortez piloted the shuttled towards the tower.

"Major, are you afraid of what you might find?"

"I..." He looked down. _I didn't actually thing what would happen if I found her... not alive. I know she wants me to carry on, but I can't. I can't do this without her. _He saw her face flash before his eyes, her wicked grin, her eyes always hinting at some untold joke... her nose wrinkling as she laughed. _I just can't. _He ran a finger along the top of the pistol she had given him. "No." He lied. "I don't know what I'll do."

Cortez glanced over his shoulder at Kaidan, his expression doubtful as they closed in on the Presidium.

"I'm going to land on the topside." Cortez said, swinging the shuttle around. "There should be a hatch you can get through to reach that area."

Kaidan nodded, watching a large fleet of shuttles and smaller ships breaking away from the remains of Sword to join them around the Citadel.

As the Normandy shuttle landed through a hole in the Presidium ring, Garrus reached out and grabbed Kaidan's arm.

"Are you seriously ready... for whatever we find?"

He nodded, and slipped his arm out of the Turian's grip.

"Let's go find her."

Garrus and Vega followed him closely, while Tali and Liara hung back, investigating the small corners and holes left by the explosions. The once crowded and noisy walkways were silent, the only sounds the footsteps of the crew, and the occasional crash of fallen masonry. Every few minutes, the soft clicking noise of a keeper came from the shadows, but they large insect like creatures remained unseen.

"Goddess..." Liara whispered. "All the people here..."

"Most of them probably died when the Reapers took over." Garrus pointed out. "Unless they got to a survival shelter."

"But still..."

"I know. Let's keep moving."

They ran in silence until they reached the tower base, and Tali quickly brought up a set of schematics on her onmitool.

"There should be an access door nearby. Big enough for equipment to get through..."

A few moments search revealed the hatch, Kaidan and Liara worked together to move the large piece of masonry that blocked it. Vega wrenched the doors open, and they piled into the dark tunnel.

"There is air out there... right?" Tali asked nervously.

"Why do you mind, Sparks?" Vega grunted. "You're still all sealed up in that suit."

"I just want to make sure."

"Well, we can send you out first."

Garrus sighed.

"The airfields extend out 7 meters in case of emergencies. We should be fine."

"I'm going first." Kaidan said quickly, bringing the hush back down over everyone. Finally reaching the other end of the tunnel, he nodded to Tali, who overrode the airlock commands. He closed his eyes, half expecting to be sucked out into the void, but felt his feet remain on the ground.

He opened his eyes to the terrible view. Before him was a landscape of destruction, the platform was torn to pieces, large pieces of rubble and glass everywhere, and behind that, the wreckage of the battle floated by before a ravaged Earth.

"What are those tubes?" Garrus wondered out loud.

"I am not sure." Liara said, tilting her head. "But only one of them is broken."

"I bet Shepard's near that one." Tali added, and they moved forward.

"Everyone shut up." Kaidan hissed. "Listen." He strained his ears, desperately listening for any signs of life. All he heard was the gentle hum of the barrier that surrounded the platform. "Shepard!" He called out, and waited. _Make a noise! Tell me where you are!_ _Be alive! _

No answer.

"SHEPARD!" He screamed, his voice cracking. "Please!"

Garrus looked at him sadly, shaking his head.

"Okay. Liara, you stay with him. The rest of us are going to look for her-"

"Wait!" Kaidan slammed his hand against Garrus's chest. "Oh god, wait."

From the far side of the platform, there was a noise that might have been debris shifting, or someone taking a sharp breath. Kaidan barreled towards it, and as he approached a large pile of rubble, he skidded to a halt, dropping to his knees. Barely visible underneath a large slab of flooring was the N7 chestplate he loved so dearly. Summoning all of his strength, he shoved his power against the rubble, sending it flying across the platform, and exposing Shepard's broken body.

Her face was covered in large cuts and bruises, her lip was split, and her left arm was most likely broken. But it was Shepard. His Shepard. His love. _Don't be dead. Please. Be alive. Don't leave me this way. _Kaidan reached out for her, gingerly letting his bare fingers brush against her cheek. _She's warm. _He slid his fingers down towards her neck, gently feeling for signs of life. A slow, but steady pulse greeted him. _She's alive._

"Get a medical team up here!" He yelled back at the crew. "I've found her!"

At the sudden noise, her eyelids fluttered, and opened slightly.

"Kai-?" She gasped, her eyes rolling up to meet his gaze. "Am I dead?"

He felt tears welling up, and stroked her hair softly.

"No, love. You're not dead. You're alive." He gently shifted her out from under the rest of the rubble, pulling her into his arms. He cradled her head in his hands, bending over her so their foreheads touched. "You're alive." He inhaled deeply, the tang of blood mixing with the smell of sweat, and the last hints of vanilla.

Her breaths were ragged, and as she became more conscious, the pain of her injuries caught up with her. She cried out once, before collapsing into hysterical crying.

"Liara!" Kaidan yelled, shooting a quick glance at the rest of the crew. "MediGel!"

The Asari ran towards them, tears streaming down her own face.

"Hold her still!" She knelt beside them, administering aid to her friend. "Shepard, hold on! Help is coming!"

Kaidan watched her face as the medicine took hold. The racking sobs slowed, and she breathed easier as her eyes glassed over. Her good arm moved clumsily, reaching blindly for his free hand. He took it in his, and she gripped it tightly. He smiled, letting out his own hiccuping cry of relief.

"How much did you give her?" He asked softly, not taking his eyes off her. _If I look away, she might not be real. She might slip away from me._

"As much as I thought was safe." Liara's voice was terrified. "I don't know human physiology that well. I'm not that kind of doctor!"

"The med team is here!" Vega called from the far side of the platform.

"Here!" Liara jumped up, waving an arm. "She's here!"

When they arrived, one of the medics had to pry Shepard's hand out of Kaidan's, while the other scanned her with his omnitool.

"Commander, we're going to put you under, you have massive internal damage, and will need surgery."

She tried to nod, and winced. The male medic injected her with something, and her eyes closed gently.

"Where are you taking her?" Garrus asked, as they lifted her out of Kaidan's arms and loaded her onto a stretcher.

"To Hackett's ship." The medic answered.

"No." Kaidan dragged himself to his feet, glaring at them. "Normandy."

"But, the Admiral..."

"He can come to her. Hasn't she done enough?" He was yelling now. "Take. Her. HOME."

Everyone exchanged nervous glances, then the tech nodded, radioing Hackett to inform him of the change in plans. Kaidan followed them back down the small hallway, and through the Presidium to Cortez and their waiting shuttle.

As they approached, the pilot sprung up from where he had been sitting on the edge of the open door. He stared at Shepard's pale and battered face with wide eyes.

"Is it true?"

"She's alive. Get us home." Kaidan answered, and Cortez bolted for the small cockpit.

The crew piled onboard, most cramming into the front to give the medics room to work. Kaidan tucked himself into the back corner, watching carefully as the female medic cut burned and ruined armor away from Shepard. The other medic listened intently to his radio, then looked carefully at Kaidan.

"Major Alenko?"

Kaidan nodded.

"Admiral Hackett says surgeons are en route to the Normandy. They will meet us there."

"Thank you."

As more of Shepard's body was exposed, he felt a knot growing in his stomach. _What if she survives the Reapers, and the destruction of the Citadel, only to die on the operating table?_ He pushed the thoughts away, and focused on her, as if he could keep her alive through sheer will.

When they reached the Normandy, the medics rushed her off the shuttle and into the lift. Kaidan followed, but was stopped at the door to the med bay by Doctor Chakwas. She took him by the arm, gently leading him to the mess table.

"You don't want to be in there." She said gently. "She's beyond even my abilities at this point."

As they sat down, the lift returned with the rest of the crew. They silently took seats around the table, all eyes on the closed blinds of the med bay.

"What happened to the rest of Hammer?" Vega asked, looking around the empty floor.

"The Agincourt docked." Chakwas said wearily. "Took them off our hands. The wounded are getting treated there, the rest are being recruited into the Citadel rescue force." She sighed, and smiled briefly. "They also took that horrible Allers woman with them."

Vega snorted.

"What about us?" He asked. "What do they want us to do?"

"The Admiral said we could wait until Shepard was out of surgery." Traynor crept around the corner, slinking into a chair at the end of the table. She looked at Kaidan, a guilty expression on her face. "Major, I'm so sorry. I never meant to cast doubt..."

"It's fine, Traynor. You were being logical. That's what you do. That's what you're good at." She smiled gratefully. "Where's Joker?"

"At the helm. There are so many ships, he had to stay alert. The Agincourt offered to let us stay docked, but he refused. I'm trying to convince him to let Cortez take over for a while."

"What happens next?" Tali said, leaning against Garrus. The Turian curled his talons around her shoulder, and rested his head against her's.

"We rebuild." Liara said, staring at her hands. "Life will continue, I guess. That's what we were fighting for, wasn't it?"

"I am curious to see what this cycle rebuilds." Javik stepped out of the shadows, startling everyone. For the first time since he had awoken, he took a seat at the table with the crew. "The Commander succeeded where countless cycles failed. She is strong." He turned to stare at Kaidan. "You chose well, when you chose her as your mate."

Kaidan felt his cheeks go red, and someone at the end of the table snickered.

"Um. Thanks?"

Tali's shoulders were shaking as she laughed, and it spread around the table. For the first time in months, years for some, there was no pressure. No looming threat. No dark evil hiding just behind the shadows. The only thing that hung in the balance was Shepard, and they had no hand in that now.

Vega stood up, and walked over to the large cabinets.

"Hey, some of the alcohol survived the crash!" He grabbed the bottle, and peered deeper into the hold. "Hey, Vakarian! There's a bottle of your Turian brandy in here too!"

"You want to drink? Now?" Liara asked, twisting to look at him.

"Why not?" He shrugged, and set the bottles onto the table. "We don't have orders until Shepard gets out of surgery... and that's gonna be..." He looked at Chakwas.

"At least four hours." She said, looking up as if mentally going over the surgery.

"Right. So we could just sit here and be nervous about it, or we could take the edge off a little." He started putting glasses on the table. "Frankly, I could use a little stress relief."

"Check with Private Westmoreland." Traynor said, then clapped her hands over her mouth. Vega grinned.

"Oh, I've noticed." The large man looked thoughtful as he started pouring drinks. "Well, I don't know if you all fall under Hackett's orders. I know I do, and the Major, and Traynor... But you two..." He gestured to Tali and Garrus. "Aren't Alliance... have you contacted your fleets yet? And you, Doc, I guess you're technically freelance." He stared at Javik and cocked his head to the side. "I guess you're like... a war asset or something. I don't know who's orders you follow."

"My own." Javik said, with narrowed eyes. He glared around the table, shook his head, and departed.

"That didn't last long." Tali sighed, and picked up her glass, absently playing with the straw. "I guess I should check in with the Flotilla." She set her drink down. "I'll be right back."

Garrus followed, grumbling something about the Turian hierarchy.

Kaidan sighed, and went back to watching the windows. If he focused hard enough, he imagined he could see the silhouettes of the surgeons as they worked. Chakwas made a noise like she was going to protest, then sighed, and forced a glass into his hands.

"Have a drink, Major. It will make the waiting easier."

It did.

Five hours later, Kaidan wasn't drunk, he wasn't even buzzed, but his nerves were calm. None of the crew had left the table, but Chakwas, Tali and Traynor had nodded off. Garrus and Vega had hijacked a deck of cards from the poker table, and were playing the world's most unenthusiastic game ever. Liara was pouring through a datapad, even after the Reaper apocalypse, the Shadow Broker still had work to do. Kaidan just stared. Waiting for any change in the window, or the hiss of the door as it opened.

When the noise finally came, he thought he had imagined it. Everyone sprang to their feet, some slower than others, and held their breaths. A surgeon stepped out, and walked over to Chakwas, datapad in hand. She took it from him, and scanned it quickly, before looking up at Kaidan.

He had no words. His mouth had gone dry, and he swallowed hard. Finally, she exhaled with a nod and a smile.

"She's going to be alright."

Relief flooding his body, he backed up from the table, knocked his chair over, and ran into the med bay.

Shepard was sleeping, the blood and dirt gone from her face and hair, leaving only the large gashes, scrapes and bruising. Her left arm was wrapped in gauze and splinted.

"How long will she be out?"

"Probably five or six hours."

Gently, he sat on the edge on the cot, and carefully curled himself around her.

"I'll wait."

The surgeon nodded, and left the room. The rest of the crew stared through the open door, but Chakwas shooed them away. She reached in to lower the lights, then left, letting the door close behind her.

Kaidan ran his fingers through Shepard's hair, then traced the line of her face. _You're alive. I never thought I'd see you again, let alone hold you._ He resisted the urge to hold her tightly, his exhausted brain remembered at the last moment the intense surgery she had just gone through. He resigned himself to slipping an arm behind her, and stroking her shoulder gently. He let his eyes close, and drifted into restless sleep.

He awoke before she did, but he could feel her starting to stir, her fingers twitching against his arm. He watched her face, waiting for her eyes to open. When they finally did, they flew open wide, and she glanced around frantically, her breaths coming quickly.

"Hey! Hey, Shepard!" He took her gently by the shoulders, peering down at her. "It's okay! You're home! You're safe."

She stared at him incredulously, then blinked rapidly, letting her eyes refocus.

"Kaidan?" She asked softly, her voice raw.

"I'm here." He took her chin gently in his fingers, and kissed her forehead. "I'm right here."

She gasped, and rubbed her eyes, before feeling herself all over, as if she didn't believe she existed.

"I'm alive?"

He grinned down at her, and nodded.

"You're alive."

She started to smile, then panic set in again.

"What happened? When everything... exploded?"

"We had to go." He took her hand, twining his fingers through her's. "We didn't know what the EMP would do... So we left. I'm so sorry."

"There was nothing you could have done." She stared at their hands. "The blast from the Citadel would have ripped the ship apart." Her gaze travel up, until it met his. "I didn't send you back just to have you get killed."

He nodded.

"We hit FTL, but the surge caught up. We crashed on some planet. I don't even know where. But we were able to rendezvous with the fleet. We came back." He kissed the back of her hand, and gripped it tightly. "I came back to find you."

"I thought I was dead." She said. "When I was blowing everything up..."

"Because that's what you do."

"Yes." She laughed, then winced. "Because that's what I do. Anyway, when everything was on fire, I saw three people. I saw you. And I saw Anderson..." her voice trailed off, and her eyes welled up. "Anderson."

"I"m sorry. We heard he made it to the Citadel with you."

She bit her lip, trying to regain her composure.

"He did. The Illusive Man... he was waiting for us."

Kaidan swore. In all the anxiety and insanity, he had completely forgotten about that hated person.

"He shot Anderson. No." She shook her head. "He made me shoot Anderson."

"What? How?"

"I have no idea. He was so indoctrinated, it was practically oozing out of him. Everywhere I looked, there was darkness around the edges. It was like my arm raised itself, pulled the trigger." She shuddered violently, and Kaidan held her until it passed. "We talked. Like Saren, there was a part of him still in there. He knew what he had done. Knew he had doomed us all trying to save humanity. He shot himself."

"Like Saren."

"Exactly. Anderson was still alive..." She stopped catch her breath, and winced again as her ribs expanded fully. "Oh, fuck me that hurts."

"Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm okay." She blinked rapidly again. "I'm okay. I'm okay. But Anderson was still alive. We thought we were done. We sat, watched the battle. He told me he was proud of me." She stopped to fight the tears again. "And then he was gone. I could barely move. Hackett called. Told me nothing was happening."

"We heard that. I heard the line go dead." _I thought I heard you die._

"I passed out. Woke up on the platform by the Crucible." She frowned, as if trying to bring forward a half remembered dream. "I saw that boy from my nightmares. Or an AI that took his form. He gave me choices. Told me I could control the Reapers. Or merge my DNA with theirs, make everyone in the galaxy half organic, half synthetic."

Kaidan frowned, and stared at her.

"Did they check you for head wounds?"

"Listen, I know it sounds crazy." She shook her head again. "But then it told me I could destroy the Reapers. Do what I had set out to do from the start." She stopped again, her breathing becoming ragged again. She coughed several times, grimacing each time.

"Shepard... you need to rest. You don't have to tell me this all now. You're going to have to repeat it several more times after you're well."

"I need to tell someone now." She begged. "Because the of the consequences of destruction..."

"What?"

"When I destroyed the Reapers... sent out the wave that shut them down... It came at a cost. Any synthetic with Reaper tech, any AI at all..."

"Oh no."

"The Geth." She inhaled sharply. "I saved them, brought them peace, acceptance, gave them a home, then killed them all. And the third person I saw... EDI..."

"EDI's gone." Joker stood in the open doorway, his eyes red. "Tali thinks the Quarians can bring her back, but I... I just don't know anymore."

He walked slowly to the edge of the cot.

"I'm so sorry." Shepard whispered. "It was the only way."

"I know." He took her free hand gently. "I'm glad you're alive."

"I told you I'd be back before you knew it."

"Yeah." The pilot shifted his weight awkwardly. "Welcome home." He patted her shoulder awkwardly, and headed back to the elevator.

"He's going to hate me forever." Shepard sighed and wiped her eye with the back of her hands. "I keep killing his girlfriends." She looked like she was about to cry. "I don't know how he already doesn't hate me for losing Ashley, and now EDI..." Kaidan ran his finger through her hair again.

"Joker's like me. He falls for strong women who fight. Women who aren't afraid of sacrifice. Ashley chose her fate. She told us to go. And EDI... EDI might be able to be saved. Who knows what the Quarians can do?" She looked up at him, her eyes red, and he kissed her forehead. "Joker is your friend. He knows you don't have some vendetta against him. It's just how life's unfolding for him."

"I guess you're right." She leaned against him, letting her head rest against his chest. "I just feel responsible for everyone who's died getting us here, and Joker's been hit twice by that."

"He has." Kaidan agreed. "But he doesn't hate you."

The next few hours were a whirlwind of tearful reunions. Garrus, Tali, Liara and James. Traynor and Cortez. The engineers. Through it all, Kaidan never left her side. He knew it looked awkward, the wounded Commander in her hospital bed, her loyal Major sitting on the edge, never letting go of her hand. But no one spoke of it. Not a single word.

Finally, Admiral Hackett came onboard to see her. Kaidan was nervous about that. He knew their relationship was an open secret at this point, but this was practically flaunting it.

"What's he going to do?" Shepard laughed, pulling Kaidan's face down to butt her forehead against his. "Court martial us? Discharge us from service?" Chakwas had come in a few minutes before and re-administered Shepard's pain medication. It was making the Commander slightly loopy. _This is going to go well. I can tell already. _

"Alright, you do have a point."

She gripped his hand tighter, and took a deep breath as the Admiral entered the med bay. The gruff looking man stared at them, then shrugged, pulling up a chair.

"Commander. Major."

"Admiral." They responded together.

"Good to see you, Shepard." He leaned forward, and put his elbows on his knees. "Tell me everything."

Shepard ran through her story again, the repeated tellings giving her more confidence, helping her keep her composure through the hardest parts. When she was finished, Hackett nodded, folding his hands under his chin.

"You've done the galaxy a great service. There wouldn't be a galaxy without you."

"Admiral, what happens next?" Kaidan asked, shifting his weight slightly.

"Well, the relays have been damaged. They aren't functioning."

"What?"

"But they are reparable. It's just going to take time."

"So, we're cut off from the rest of the galaxy?"

"For now, yes."

"What about the fleet?" Shepard blurted out. "Earth is destroyed! It can probably barely sustain what's left of humanity, let alone the entire war effort!"

"I'm not going to lie. It's going to be a hard couple of years." Hackett consulted a datapad he had set on the next cot. "The Quarians obviously know about living as a fleet, they will share knowledge with the rest of us, and their liveships will produce food for themselves, and the Turians."

"And the rest of us?"

"There is still some unspoiled farmland on Earth, and we are sending scouting ships out to find the planet the Normandy landed on. Anyone from the fleet who wants to muster out, or survivors from the Citadel can settle there, and help farm." He scrolled through more information. "The scientists who worked on the Crucible are already at the Sol relay, they estimate it will only take a few years to get working again."

"What about the other relays?"

"We have QEC with the major populations, Thessia, Tuchanka, Sur'Kesh and Rannoch. We can still communicate with them, pass on information. From there, the outer systems are just going to have to wait until we can reach them."

"What about my team?" Shepard asked pointedly. "The Normandy crew? Are you putting them back to work?"

"Your alien crew can stay, or return to their own people. Lieutenant Vega wants to stay. Once things settle down, I might use him to train new recruits, civilian law enforcement, fleet security... but the Normandy will always be his home ship."

"And the rest of us?"

Shepard, lay down your guns for now." The Admiral reached over, and placed his hand on her arm. "In a few weeks, you'll need to tell everyone what happened, and help with the treaties between fleets I know will become a headache for everyone. But for now, just be glad you're alive." He glanced up at Kaidan. "I need both of you to be a symbol to the galaxy. Show everyone that life is going to go on. Lives will be rebuilt."

"Did you have something in mind?" Kaidan asked nervously, looking down at Shepard, who stared at the Admiral with confusion.

"Don't worry about it now, Shepard." Hackett stood up, and saluted. Kaidan sprang to his feet, and returned the gesture. Shepard untangled her hand from his, and saluted as well. "Major, I need to talk to you outside. Commander." He nodded at Shepard, and strode out of the room. For the first time in ten hours, Kaidan left Shepard's side, and followed Hackett. _What the hell is going on? What could he possibly want from me?_

"Admiral?" He asked cautiously.

"Major. At some point, I'm going to need you meet up with my clerks, and make sure that the needs of the biotics in the Alliance are being met."

"Sir?"

"As it stands, Alenko, you are the highest ranking surviving biotic in the military."

Kaidan swallowed hard.

"What do I need to do?"

"Mostly paperwork. You will still be able to live on the Normandy, although you may be called away should a situation arise."

"Aye aye, Sir."

Hackett nodded.

"Now about you and the Commander." _Oh no. This is it_. _This is what I've been dreading._ "I respect the woman for everything she's done, everything she's become. And Anderson always spoke highly of her. To admit it would have been a serious breach of protocol..." He gave Kaidan a knowing look. "But he obviously thought of her like a father would. When she blew up the Alpha relay and was arrested, he and I went through two bottles of scotch."

Kaidan was shocked. He could barely imagine the Admirals off duty, let alone drunk.

"He liked you as well. Thought you were a good man. You could say he approved of you."

"Sir?"

"Things he said that night... How part of him secretly hoped the two of you would run away together. Start a family." Hackett stared past him, lost in the memory of a dead friend. "Do the things that we old men never got to enjoy." He straightened up, bringing his focus back to Kaidan. "I'm giving that chance to you. I just have one request."

"Yes, sir?"

"When you marry that woman, let what's left of the ANN broadcast it to the fleet. She used to be a symbol of the fight. The war. Make her a symbol of hope. Of life. Let people see her happy, in love. Moving forward."

Kaidan nodded, fumbling over his words.

"Admiral, there is nothing in the world I want to do more, than spend the rest of my life with her."

"Good."

"I just..." He racked his brain for what he wanted to say. "I don't have any..."

Hackett smiled, and handed him a small box.

"From Anderson."

"What?" Kaidan's mouth fell open as he opened the box, and stared down at the rings inside.

"They were his. He never told me who he had bought them for, I always figured Kahlee Sanders, but I know he'd want you and Shepard to have them." He saluted again, and turned to leave. Kaidan exhaled deeply, completely overwhelmed. "Major?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Good job, Alenko. You've done the galaxy proud." He stepped onto the elevator, and was gone. Kaidan pocketed the small box, and returned to Shepard.

"What did he want?" She asked, yawning as she spoke.

"I'm getting paperwork to do. Apparently, I'm the highest ranking biotic left in the Alliance."

"Damn." Her eyelids drooped. "That's crazy."

He scooted onto the cot with her.

"You need to rest. You should have slept hours ago."

"I'm fine." She protested, her nodding head saying otherwise.

"Shepard, you've just had major surgery. And before that, you were shot by a Reaper, and practically blown up." He kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep, love."

"Love you." She murmured, settling against his chest. They were both asleep in minutes.

It was several weeks before Shepard was allowed to leave the med bay, and even then she was under strict orders not to exert herself. Kaidan helped her off the cot, and held her steady as she stood for the first time since being brought onboard the Normandy. She toured the ship slowly, checking out the living spaces the crew had created for themselves in the nooks and crannies of the ship. Finally, she leaned against him, letting him support her weight.

"I need to sleep." She said, yawning as she looked up at him. The bruises and scratches on her face had completely healed, only the new long scars remained, tracing down her cheek.

"Of course." He kissed the top of her head as they took the lift up. "I've cleaned it up, after the crash landing, everything was a disaster."

She smiled as the doors opened, and she stepped into their cabin.

"It feels like I'm finally home. I can't wait to sleep in a proper bed."

"Me too." Kaidan sighed. He had spent every night in the med bay with her, sleeping on the next cot over. _I hope sleeping in her actual bed will help with the nightmares. _Every few nights, Shepard woke in a cold sweat, shaking violently, sometimes screaming. And every time, Kaidan was there, ready to crawl onto her cot with her, and hold her until the shaking stopped. The things she had gone through in the war haunted her, they changed her, but he still loved everything about her.

She lowered herself down onto the bed, and flopped backwards, grinning madly as she ran her hands across the bed.

"Oh, how I missed this." She pulled herself up towards the pillows, and frowned. "What's this?"

"What's what?" He joined her, sitting on the side of the bed and pulling his shoes off.

"Under the pillow." She propped herself up, and lifted the pillow. Her face went white as she looked at the datapad. "You read it."

"I thought you were dead."

"But Garrus said you wouldn't put my plaque up."

"That was too final." He sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "But... I don't know. I guess I needed to prepare myself for the worst." She pulled him down in a deep kiss, and he grabbed the datapad out of her hands, throwing it against the wall so hard it shattered.

He leaned out of the kiss, staring down into her dark eyes. _Why not now? What's stopping me?_ He reached over, opening the drawer that had once contained the horrible note. It's only occupant now was the small box Hackett had given him.

"Promise?" He said, turning back to face her. She pulled herself to a sitting position, and placed her hand on his face.

"Kaidan. I don't ever want to be without you."

"I've lost you so many times."

"Never again."

He fumbled with the box, pulling out the small band of silver. Shepard was so focused on his face that she hadn't noticed.

"Shepard? Do you remember what we talked about, before the Geth dreadnought?"

She blinked at him, and nodded slowly.

"I... um. Wondered if..." He swallowed hard. _Why is she staring like that? Does she not want this? _Then he noticed her eyes wrinkling at the corners, and her nose twitching the way it did when she was trying not to laugh. _She knows what I'm trying to do._ "Yu Shepard." She grinned at him. "Marry me?" He held the ring out to her. She gasped, obviously not anticipating him to have found one. It was plain, with a small diamond set inside the band, nothing that would snag on anything, but it shone brightly in the light of the cabin. She looked from him, to the ring, and back to him, before grinning wildly.

He slid the ring onto her finger, and pulled her in tightly. _I can tell her about Hackett wanting to broadcast the ceremony later._

"I love you. Forever." He murmured, running his fingers across her back.

"Forever." She repeated, and tilted her head to kiss him fiercely. His roaming fingers found the edge of her shirt, and lifted it up and over her head. As she leaned back, she tugged at his as well, and soon his bare skin was against her's. He lowered her down slowly, taking in the damage to her body for the first time. Long scars ran across her torso, pink and raw against the pale white softness. "Can you learn to love them?" She asked softly.

"I already do." He leaned down, and kissed the longest one, that ran straight from her collarbone to her hip. "They're what kept you alive. What brought you back to me."

The first night of forever was one of happy tears, whispered promises, and gentle kisses. As he drifted to sleep, under the stars and ships of the fleet, Kaidan felt his heart at rest for the first time in his entire lift. The woman he loved was in his arms, there was nowhere they had to go, no one they had to kill, and no one was trying to kill them. The galaxy was a peace, for the moment. Shepard shifted in her sleep, a thin arm sprawling across his chest. Kaidan smiled, and let himself drift into peaceful dreamless sleep.

(A/N Seriously thought this chapter was going to kill me. Good lord. Okay, not quite done yet, as stated earlier, I fully plan on writing an epilogue, detailing things in their lives over the next few years, so make sure you stick around. But I am amazed I made it all the way to the end of the game. It's taken me a year to write the entire trilogy. Holy crap. But yes, one more chapter to go officially, then maybe a few one shots, plus the thing I'm working on for the live journal big bang. You haven't seen the end of this particular Shepard and Kaidan yet!)


	25. Chapter 25

Epilogue: Scenes from lives lived together.

*6 months after the Reaper war ended*

Kaidan smiled to himself as he looked out the large window before him. The setting sun reflected off the water, sending beams of light scattering everywhere. He stood on a raised platform in the main hall of the half-rebuilt Alliance Command Center in Vancouver, just a few floors down from where he had stood so long ago, watching Shepard stride back into his life.

He pulled his attention away from the view, and scanned the crowd. The Normandy crew, minus Garrus, stood towards the front of the crowd, with Kaidan's students behind them. Admiral Hackett was there, as was the rest of the surviving high ranking military officials from the Alliance and their allied fleets. Civilians filled out the rest of the crowd, Earth survivors, and refugees from the Citadel alike.

His smile faded slightly at the lack of familiar faces. Troy and Elsa were alive, but stranded on Terra Nova, and his parents were both on the list of the known dead. He had poured through the list extensively, and found himself to be the only Alenko left. _Well, for about five more minutes. _On either edge of the crowd, small red lights blinked up at him, and Diana Allers and Khalisah al-Jilani glared at each other. Hackett finished his conversation, and stepped up to stand behind Kaidan.

"Major? Are you ready?"

"Yes, Sir."

Shifting his weight nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to push his worries away. _Calm down. This is what you've wanted for years._

A hush fell over the room, and everyone turned to stare at the large doors at the back of the room.

Garrus stepped through the door, standing proud in the Turian equivalent of a suit, Shepard leaning on his arm. Her hair was down, soft waves in hair that had never before seen curlers, and she wore a white sundress someone had scavenged from an abandoned shop. It had been too big for her, but Private Campbell had shown great prowess with a uniform repair kit, and brought it down to a more form fitting size. The thin straps exposed the scars on her chest and shoulders, but Kaidan didn't care. She had never looked more beautiful.

She beamed as she looked up at him, and steadied herself on Garrus. Physical therapy had been helping, but she was still far away from regaining her former strength. They walked towards him, and Kaidan felt a grin spread across his face. _This is actually happening._

When they finally reached him, he stepped down to them, and shook hands with Garrus.

"Thank you."

"Any time." The Turian turned to Shepard, and hugged her gently, before handing her to Kaidan. As he took her hand, he felt every nerve in his body shake. She looked up at him, and laughed.

"Major."

"Commander."

They stepped back up onto the platform, and turned to face the Admiral.

Before he started speaking, he leaned forward, and spoke softly to them.

"Shepard, I know you didn't want to make this a huge spectacle, but I appreciate you agreeing to it." He sighed. "I know Anderson would have wanted to do this himself, but guess I feel he's here in spirit." Shepard nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah. I hope so."

Hackett leaned back, and addressed the crowd.

"Comrades, allies, and friends. We have come here today, in the heart of the rebuilding effort, to celebrate the marriage of Major Kaidan Alenko, and Commander Yu Shepard." There was a snort from somewhere in the Normandy crew, probably from Vega. Kaidan had forgotten how few people knew what Shepard's official first name was. Shepard made a face, then relaxed as Hackett continued. "Both not only of Earth, but this city. The first two human Spectres, and saviors of the galaxy. They united us all to fight those that would destroy us, and now, they unite themselves to live a life of peace."

Shepard shifted her weight, bracing herself against Kaidan's hands. They had asked the Admiral for a short ceremony, for the sake of Shepard's healing muscles.

"By the power vested in me by the Alliance, I pronounced you husband and wife." He smiled at them encouragingly. "Major?"

Kaidan wrapped his arms around Shepard's waist, pulling her against him tightly. She flung her arms around her neck, lifting herself onto her toes. The rest of the world melted away as he kissed her, he didn't realize how long they had stood there until Hackett coughed and tapped him on the shoulder. He broke out of the kiss, and rested his forehead against Shepard's.

"Hi."

"Hi." She laughed, and leaned back to shake Hackett's hand. "Thank you, Admiral."

"It was an honor, Commander. Major."

They stepped down into the waiting crowd of well wishers and were immediately swept into a crowd of friends. Over an hour was spent making sure every single person was greeted, then made their way to the docked Normandy. The damage the ship had taken in their escape from the EMP blast was finally starting to catch up, so they were dry docked for a few weeks.

When they reached the ship and headed down to the crew level, loud cheering greeted them. Not only the Normandy crew was there, but Shepard's previous allies, and their other friends. Jack and her students, Wrex, Jacob and Brynn, and several others that Kaidan didn't recognize. Vega pressed glasses into their hands, and assured them it hadn't come from the still he and Cortez had definitely not built on the flight deck. Shepard raised her eyebrows at him, and Garrus raised his glass, waiting for the room to fall silent.

"Part of me never thought you two would make it." He said with a laugh. "Things kept getting in your way. Protocol, death, Reapers... Joker." He waited for everyone to stop laughing. Joker shrugged, sitting at the mess table between Liara and Doctor Chakwas. "But I'm glad you kept finding your way back to each other. I'm honored to have served with you both, and count you as friends. Kaidan and Shepard!"

"Kaidan and Shepard!" Everyone repeated, then drank.

"Holy shit, Vega!" Shepard gasped. "What is this?"

"I have no idea." The large man admitted. "It's like... kinda tequila?"

Kaidan put his face in his hand. _This evening is going to end badly for a lot of people._

The party raged into the night, and after a few glasses, the taste of the alcohol faded away. Kaidan laughed as Shepard finally willed herself to try dancing with Jack and Liara. _She couldn't pull that off when she was healthy, with all her injuries, she just looks even more silly._ He grinned around the room, his students were all passed out at the table, unaccustomed to the strength of the drinks they had been sneaking all evening. Several of the couples had slipped away, and the rest of the crew was starting to wind down. The cots in the med bay were all filled with guests too tired to return to their own lodging and ships, and Vega and Cortez were playing cards, Vega using one of the unconscious students as a coaster. Kaidan stared down at his hand, at the thick band of gold on his finger. _Thank you, Anderson. For the rings. For Shepard. For everything._

Pulling himself up from the table, Kaidan stepped over to the makeshift dance floor and took Shepard gently by the arm.

"I think it's time to call it a night." He said softly. She stopped dancing, and wiped her forehead.

"Sounds like a good plan."

They made their way to the lift, and stepped on board. As they rode up in silence, Shepard leaned against his shoulder, letting her fingers find his. When they got off the lift, Kaidan stopped in the small hall between the elevator and their cabin.

"Everything okay?" Shepard asked, staring up at him in the dim light.

"Just... one last thing I have to do to make today perfect." He knelt down, swiftly wrapping one arm around her waist, and the other around her knees.

"Wha-?" She cried out as he cradled her to his chest and stood.

"Tradition, Shepard." He laughed, and hit the door release with his elbow. He carried her in, setting her down gently on the bed. "Or are you Commander Mrs. Alenko now?"

She wrinkled her nose at him.

"Maybe one day. When we get to retire from being political figureheads, and get to settle down with a family."

Kaidan followed her onto the bed, letting himself sink down on top of her.

"One day." He agreed, leaning forward to kiss his new wife, and enjoy the privileges that entailed.

*Eight months after the war ended*

Kaidan sat nervously at the Normandy's mess table, waiting for Doctor Chakwas to finish her exam of Shepard. She had been exhausted lately, practically back to her post-surgery state. She had also been nauseous and dizzy, some days having to spend hours in bed with a pillow over her face.

_What if something's wrong? What if her body's rejecting something they did during her surgery?_

As he sat, he absently twisted his wedding band, feeling the cool metal slide against his skin.

"Are you still here?" Garrus asked, sticking his head out of the battery. "Didn't you have a meeting to go to?"

"Postponed it." He called back. "Shepard's sick, and I told Hackett that takes priority." He frowned, staring down the hall at his friend. "What are you doing in there? We aren't at war anymore. The guns don't need to be calibrated."

Garrus looked guilty.

"Oh. Um. You can never be too prepared."

"You miss it, just a bit."

"In a way." Garrus left the battery, and joined him at the table. "I don't miss the pressure, or the stress. The constant threat of death. But peace... peace can be boring."

"Just wait till we get the relays opened back up. Then everyone can go back to trying to kill each other."

"Ha."

Kaidan looked around the empty room and frowned.

"Hey, where's Tali? I haven't seen her in a while."

"She and a few other Quarians are down in engineering, digging through code." Garrus smiled with pride. "They think they've found more of EDI's program."

"That'll make Joker happy."

"Yeah. He's finally coming around to the idea we might be able to get her back in one way or another."

Kaidan was about to comment on the Quarian's ability with AIs, when Chakwas stepped out of the med bay.

"Major, would you mind joining us?" Kaidan jogged over, and hopped up on the cot next to Shepard. They dangled their legs off the side, and she slipped her hand into his.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

"I don't know." She responded.

Chakwas took a seat across from them, and consulted a datapad.

"So, as both of you are aware, when Cerberus rebuilt Shepard, there was genetic modification done. Something to speed the healing process." She looked up at Shepard. "However, it did have a secondary effect. You know how you adapt to medications, and over time need larger and larger doses?"

"Yes..."

"Well, there is one type of medication you are on, that we didn't really think about changing the doses on."

Kaidan held his breath. _It is a complication from the surgery. Oh god. No._

"Karen. Let's hear it." Shepard sighed. "What's happening to me?"

The doctor stood up, and took her by the hand.

"Congratulations, Commander. You're pregnant."

They stared at her, dumbfounded.

"I'm..." Shepard's hand pulled out of Kaidan's, and slowly slid over her midsection. "Pregnant? Now?"

Chakwas's face turned serious.

"About two months along. Is this something you don't want? Because that is a whole different discussion."

"No." Kaidan and Shepard said together.

"We wanted this, one day..." He said, letting his hand move on top of her's.

"But I didn't think it would be so soon." She finished, and they turned to look at each other. Kaidan couldn't help himself. His face broke out into a wide grin, and he stood up, turning to hug Shepard tightly.

"We're having a baby!"

"No." She wrinkled her nose at him. "I'm having a baby." She laughed, and hugged him back. "But I'm excited too."

They left the med bay, and stepped over the mess. Shepard walked around to Garrus, and leaned against the table next to him.

"Hey, Garrus. I have an important question for you."

He looked up at her, confusion on his face.

"What do you need, Shepard?"

"How do you feel about being an uncle?"

The fringes on the side of his face twitched as things registered.

"You're... You two are...?"

Shepard nodded.

"Yeah. We're going to have to put together a nursery upstairs."

Garrus hugged Shepard, and clasped Kaidan on the shoulder excitedly.

"I think I know where we can get some Turian educational toys... There should be some on one of the ships..." Garrus looked thoughtful.

"I'm sure we can think of something." Kaidan laughed, putting his arm around Shepard's waist. "We should go tell Joker." She nodded, and they headed to the lift, leaving Garrus in the kitchen. When they reached the CIC, Shepard grabbed Traynor by the hand as they headed to the cockpit. The civilian specialist had rejected a transfer, opting to stay on the Normandy, fielding messages for Shepard and Kaidan.

When they reached the cockpit, Joker turned to look back at him, a smile on his face. _It's good to see him smiling again. _Once she had been on her feet, Shepard had locked herself in with the pilot, and they had talked for hours. They had worked out the complexities and mutual guilt that haunted their friendship, and were back to a good place.

"What's going on, Joker?" Shepard asked, leaning against his chair.

"Tali just called up! They found a huge block of EDI's programming! She says with some luck, we might have her back in the ship in under a year!"

"As an AI?"

"She'll start out as just a VI... I think they uncovered some of her voice files last week, but with any luck, they can restore some of her AI functions."

"I'm really happy for you." Shepard grinned back.

"So we'll maybe have two new crew members next year."

"Two? Who else are we taking on? Please tell me it's not Zaeed. It took the Alliance two months to get all the cigar residue out of the air scrubbers."

Shepard looked taken aback.

"I wondered why everything smelled weird on the lower decks for a while."

"Yeah." Joker threw his hands up. "So who are we getting?"

Shepard reached down, and delicately took one of his fragile hands. She gently placed it on her belly, and cocked her head at him.

"No shit."

Traynor's mouth fell open, and she grabbed Kaidan's arm.

"Yup." Shepard said.

"Shepard, what are we going to do with a baby on board?" He looked at them suspiciously. "Or are you leaving?"

"I'm not leaving." She sighed. "I don't know... I want to stay. Earth isn't really ready for anyone wanting to settle down, there are years of work left to do. Besides, until the relays are fixed, I have diplomatic stuff to do." She leaned into Kaidan. "Besides. Where in the galaxy is safer than the Normandy?"

Joker opened his mouth, and Shepard held a hand up.

"Don't answer that." She turned to face Traynor, who was practically bouncing with glee. "I'm going to need you to help Chakwas track down the appropriate kind of doctor. This really isn't her kind of thing."

"Can I tell everyone?" Joker said, hand hovering over the intercom button.

"Give us half an hour to talk to a few people in person, then have at it. But Joker... keep it tasteful, please."

Their first stop was the hanger deck, where Cortez and Vega had set up their living areas. When they stepped off the lift, Vega called out a greeting from behind his punching bag.

"Lola! Major! What brings you down to the lower levels?" He grinned. "You here to go a few rounds? Esteban feels like he has better things to do."

"I'm adjusting the fuel intake on the shuttle, Mr. Vega. Or did you want another leak all over the floor?"

"Whatever."

"Sorry James." Shepard said, leaning against the armory desk. "No more boxing for a while."

"But we were just starting to get your speed back!" The large man protested. "Those drills were really working."

"I know, but I can't risk you punching me for a while. This area is going to be a bit sensitive." She placed a hand over her belly again.

"Wait." His eyes narrowed, and he looked at Kaidan. "Seriously?"

Kaidan nodded.

"That's fantastic!" Cortez burst out from the far side of the room, rushing over to them. Vega nodded.

"Way to go, Lola." He grinned at Kaidan. "Nice work, Major."

"Hey!" Shepard punched him in the arm.

"I thought you said no punching!"

"I said no punching me!" She laughed. "Okay, we are on a bit of a tight schedule, but we'll be back later."

They headed up to engineering, and called out to Tali, who stuck her head out of a small hatch.

"How many of you are in there?" Shepard asked, leaning down to stare in.

"Six Quarians, and Gabby."

"Wow. Can you get out for a second?"

Tali carefully extracted herself, taking care not to snag her suit on anything.

"Are you here to check on the progress with EDI's recovery?"

"I think we're all caught up from Joker. But thanks. Actually, we have news!"

When she heard, Tali's eyes widened behind her mask, and she clasped her hands together.

"That's wonderful!" She took Shepard by the arm, grasping it firmly. "I'm so happy for you!" She was interrupted by a loud burst of swearing, and she glanced back into the hole. "I have to get back in there, but congratulations!" As she ducked back into the hatch, they could hear her excitedly passing the news along.

As they turned to leave, Donnelly stuck his head out from around a corner.

"Hey, Commander, does that mean the rest of us can jump on the baby bandwagon?" He grinned. "We don't know how long the Quarians will be sticking around, so Gabby and I should start repopulating the department."

"Shut up, Kenneth!" Gabby's exasperated shout came from the open hatch. Kaidan shook his head and laughed, then followed Shepard out into the hall.

Walking out of engineering, the slight hiss of a door opening attracted their attention. Javik stared at them, his head peering around the corner.

"We don't have to tell him, do we?" Kaidan whispered.

"He can probably smell it." Shepard hissed back. Javik glared at them, and his door slid shut. "Yup. He knows."

"What's his issue? He just hides down here all day. I thought he wanted to see what peace looks like."

"I don't know." Shepard admitted, as they boarded the lift again. "Maybe Liara knows."

When they reached the Asari's room, she looked at them gratefully.

"Oh thank goodness. I needed a distraction."

"How are things going?" Shepard asked, sitting down on the bed.

"Exhausting. There is so much information coming in... I'm completely overwhelmed."

"Maybe have Traynor help." Kaidan suggested. "I mean, right now she's really just acting as a glorified receptionist. You know she's up to it."

Liara looked thoughtful.

"I admit, I had considered it. But I thought you might mind."

"Not at all." Shepard leaned back, stretching her legs out. "Hey, Liara, what's going on with Javik?"

"He's hiding from the Asari." Liara said with a laugh. "There is a group organizing that wants him to father their children."

Kaidan laughed, thinking about the surly alien living below them.

"Do they find him attractive?"

"Not exactly. They just want the Prothean species to continue however it can. and if the only option for that is half Asari, half Protheans..."

"Ah. I'm guessing he wants none of it?"

"Maybe. They might be able to talk him around."

"Liara." Shepard teased. "I'd have thought you'd be first in line for Prothean babies."

The Asari blushed.

"It's not like that! It's for science! And I don't..."

"Calm down." Shepard laughed. "I'm just teasing you. But speaking of babies, we will be having one on the ship."

Liara's eyes lit up.

"Goddess!" She stood up from her chair, striding quickly across the room to sit with Shepard. "How do you feel?"

"Still tired, and nauseous. But at least now we know why."

They spoke for several more minutes, Liara promising to help track down the best doctors in the fleet, and her excited stories about Asari child rearing techniques. Shepard was starting to look overwhelmed when Joker's voice rang out over the intercom.

"Good morning, wayward travelers of the starship Normandy! I bring you exciting news."

"Oh no." Shepard grumbled.

"It has come to my attention that our fearless leader has gotten herself-" The line cut out. After a moment, he came back. "Geez, Traynor. A little warning next time? Anyway. The Commander and the Major are expecting. So when you see them next, make sure to say congratulations." There was a brief pause. "Was that better, Specialist?" The line went silent, and stayed that way.

Kaidan laughed as Shepard shook her head, and stood up from the bed.

"I think I"m going to lie down. I'm still exhausted."

He followed her upstairs to their cabin, and lay down next to her.

"How do you feel?" He asked, sliding his hand under her shirt, letting it rest gently over her belly.

"A little scared." She admitted.

"You? Scared?" Kaidan laughed. "You've gone through more horrible things in your life than anyone else in the galaxy. And you're scared of having a baby?"

"What if something goes wrong?" She frowned. "You said it yourself. I've gone through a lot. How many times have I been rebuilt? What if my body can't handle being pregnant? Or something's wrong with the baby?" She reached up to gently run her fingers through his hair. "I've been exposed to a lot of chemicals over the years, and we still don't know if biotics are genetic yet. What if-"

"Shepard." He kissed her softly on the forehead. "It's going to be okay. Chakwas is going to find the best doctors out there. And do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"

She shook her head, and sighed.

"No. You won't." She returned his kiss, and closed her eyes, settling in against his chest. "We're going to be parents."

_I'm going to be a father._

*Ten months after the war ended*

Joker sighed loudly as the Normandy docked with the Atuin, a large civilian ship.

"I don't see why Cortez couldn't have taken you guys over." He complained, twisting in his seat to stare at Kaidan and Shepard. "Why do we have to spend a whole day docked?"

"Because Cortez is not a taxi driver." Shepard said, making a face at the pilot. "And because the rest of the crew deserves a little R and R off this ship. I don't want everyone going stir crazy."

"I hear they've built a pretty nice bar in one of their cargo hangers." Vega said, coming up behind them. "Lola, I know you can't partake, but will you come down and tell us the news?"

"I will." She said, gripping Kaidan's hand tightly as the airlock opened. "If it's good news."

"You will be fine, Commander." Chakwas said, and lead them to the other ship. "The best obstetrician in the galaxy is on board this ship." She nodded at Kaidan. "And the best biotic expert."

The rest of the crew dispersed onto the civilian ship, looking for friends and family. The Atuin was the largest civilian ship, during the war it has housed engineers and scientists working on the Crucible, as well as parts and equipment. When they had all departed on smaller ships to start reconstructing the relays, it had been taken over by refugees from the Citadel and Earth. It now served as the trading hub of the fleet, and a place for civilians and soldiers to rest and relax.

"Reminds me of Omega in a way." Garrus muttered as they made their way though the crowded halls.

"Not as wretched though. Though who knows what's going on over there." Shepard commented, letting the crowd part before her. As many enemies as she had made in her life, people still respected what she had done to end the war, and left her alone. _For now. _Kaidan stayed at her side, letting his biotics flare around his fingertips. _One day, they are all going to snap out of it, and they will remember all of the trouble she gave them. When that happens, I'll be ready._

When they reached the clinic, a familiar face greeted them.

"Major! I'm glad to see you up and about!" Doctor Kirby smiled at him, and patted him gently on the shoulder. "How is the implant treating you?"

"Much better since you fixed it, thank you." He shook her hand warmly. "It's good to know you got off the Citadel."

She shuddered slightly.

"I'm lucky I was at work. Our clinic had an emergency pod. We locked down, and stayed quiet. It felt like days before the marines found us."

She nodded at Shepard, and gestured to a small private room. Garrus took a seat to wait for them. The Turian shared Kaidan's concerns, and had offered to accompany them. Kaidan nodded at him as they stepped into the exam room.

"My colleague will be here to do your scan, to determine the baby's health and gender. I'll be testing for biotics." She shrugged as she picked up a datapad. "There haven't been any true second generation human biotics, the kids being born now are from in utero exposure, but you've been around a lot of element zero in your career."

"Not since I've been pregnant though." Shepard pointed out.

"That's good. But we still don't know everything about how it. Sometimes the element can be absorbed into the body, and settle there. I'm treating a woman who worked in a refinery before the war. She hasn't been there in six months, but her unborn child is showing strong biotic influence."

"Bad?" Kaidan asked softly. The doctor grimaced.

"If there aren't any more complications, there is a chance for a normal life." She shook her head. "But you don't want to hear about that. I'll call Doctor Cass in."

Shepard sat on the small table in the center of the room as the second doctor entered. The small woman nodded at them absently as she fiddled with her omnitool.

"Now, have you two decided if you want to know the baby's gender?"

"We do." Shepard said, taking Kaidan's hand. "We want to be prepared."

The doctor smiled at them, and began her scan. A fuzzy picture appeared on a terminal beside her, and she studied it carefully.

Shepard's grip on Kaidan's hand tightened as every second passed, until the doctor turned to them with a smile.

"Congratulations. You're having a boy."

Kaidan felt a grin creep across his face. He would have been happy with either gender, but there was a small part of him that had always wanted his firstborn to be a son. Shepard smiled nervously, her grip still tight on his hand.

"Everything looks okay? It... He looks healthy?"

"As far as I can tell, yes. Once Doctor Kirby checks for any biotics, we'll have a full report." She gestured to her colleague. "I want to see you in two months though. With the condition your body is in, we will need to take every precaution to ensure the baby is healthy."

Doctor Kirby took over the scanning, her omnitool making ominous beeping noises as it scanned Shepard. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the woman sighed and double checked the data.

"Looks like everything is fine at this stage. There are no signs of any biotic influence." She smiled as she looked at them. "I will want to check again during your third trimester, and then once the baby is about six months old. Sometimes these things take a while to develop." She took a datapad from Doctor Cass, and scanned it quickly. "But as of right now, you are on your way to having a healthy, normal little boy."

Shepard exhaled deeply, finally releasing Kaidan's hand. She grinned, letting her fingers brush gently over her softly swelling belly. Kaidan felt a confusing surge of emotion, he was excited about having a son, yet part of him was disappointed the child probably wouldn't have any biotic abilities. _But he won't have the headaches. Or the cancer._ He pushed the thoughts from his mind, and shook the doctors' hands.

"Thank you, so much." Doctor Kirby grinned at him.

"Don't be a stranger! If you have any trouble with that amp, you let me know, I'll fix you right up."

As they started to leave, he turned back to face the doctor who had helped him before.

"Doctor Kirby, did you have family on the Citadel?" She nodded. "Did everyone make it out okay?"

She sighed, for once the smile faltering on her face.

"My brother didn't. But my husband and son did. The Reapers didn't make it all the way down our ward."

"I'm glad they're alright. And I'm sorry about your brother."

"It was a war, Major. Wouldn't have been fair if we all made it out unscathed."

He nodded, knowing how true her words were. Shepard put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

"And if you ever need anything from us, just get in contact with the Normandy."

"I will. See you in a few months."

They left the exam room to find Garrus idly scrolling through a datapad.

"How did it go?" He asked, standing up from the clinic chair.

"Fine." Shepard responded. "Let's meet up with everyone, so I only have to go through everything once."

They walked down the long corridors of the ship, taking in the sights of the new shops that had sprung up in abandoned cargo containers. They were still a distance from the bar when Shepard froze, and dragged her companions behind a large crate.

"What the hell?" Kaidan exclaimed as she buried her face in his chest. Garrus poked his head around the corner and laughed. He and Kaidan watched as Conrad Verner strode by, arm in arm with a young brunette.

"Of all the people to survive the war..." Shepard muttered.

"I wonder how he got of the Citadel?" Kaidan wondered out loud.

"He wasn't on it." Shepard answered, stepping back out into the main walkway once the coast was clear. "He was working on the Crucible."

"What?" Garrus and Kaidan said together.

"Oh yeah. He has a doctorate in xenotechnology, and apparently wrote his doctorate on dark matter. So I shipped him off to the war effort, got him out of my hair." Shepard shook her head. "Let's move, before he turns around and sees us."

They slipped into the makeshift bar at the end of the corridor, and scanned the room for their crew. The bar was full of soldiers and civilians alike, drinking and laughing as they relaxed. From the back corner, Vegas stood, and beckoned them over to a large table. Getting to it took some effort, a large, rowdy squad of mercenaries in black and yellow stood in their way. Garrus elbowed his way through them, and Kaidan walked drag, still suspiciously scanning the crowd.

When they reached the table, the crew scooted over to make room for them, and Shepard took a seat gratefully. Kaidan sat next to her, while Garrus rounded the table to join Tali on the other side.

"So what's the word?" Vega asked, his elbows on the table.

"Yes, how does everything look?" Liara looked up from her datapad.

"Healthy, so far. No sign of biotics." Shepard grinned, and rested a hand on her belly. "It's a boy."

The table erupted in congratulations. Vega forced a drink into Kaidan's hands.

Once the noise died down, Tali tilted her head, slowly spinning the straw in her drink.

"Have you thought about names yet?"

"How about Garrus?" Garrus suggested.

"James!" Vega called out.

"Conrad!" Kaidan laughed as Shepard elbowed him in the ribs.

"What about Anderson?" Liara asked softly.

Shepard's face darkened.

"I'd love to name him after Anderson, or Ash. Even Mordin or Thane... But I don't want to curse my son with sadness." She sighed, and Kaidan slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Every time I called to him... I'd just remember everyone I lost. I want him to be happy. It's a new galaxy. A new start."

As the conversation dwindled into thoughtful silence, Traynor started scrolling through her own datapad.

"Felix." She said suddenly.

"What?"

"Felix." She repeated, handing the datapad over. "It means happy. Lucky. I think it would be the perfect name for the son of the galaxy's savior. After all, how lucky is he, that he even has a chance to be here?"

Shepard twitched, and made a face.

"You don't like it?" Traynor asked.

"I do." She looked down. "I think he'll like it too." She looked up at Kaidan. "Well, Major, what do you think?"

"It's perfect."

*One year after the war ended*

Shepard was grumpy. The crew was keeping her confined to the Normandy, and cabin fever was settling in.

"But you've been on long term deployment before. We all have." Kaidan handed her a glass of water as she sat on the couch in the crew lounge. "How is this any different?"

She glared at him, and he retreated towards the poker table, where Garrus, Vega, Liara and Traynor sat, waiting for him.

"Because on extended missions, I got to get off the ship and shoot things occasionally!" She sighed, and sipped her water. "I'm just stir crazy. Can't we go somewhere? Don't I have to go back to see Doctor Kirby?"

"Not for another month." Traynor piped up. "You aren't in your third trimester yet."

"What about Doctor Cass? Wasn't I supposed to check in with her? It has to have been two months since we last left."

"She's coming here. Cortez is picking her up now."She sniffed, then nodded at Hackett.

"Why is she coming here?" Shepard asked suspiciously."Kaidan, what's going on?"

Everyone at the table ducked their heads and studied their cards furiously. Kaidan slipped back over to the couch and took Shepard's hands in his.

"Hackett and I discussed it... And we don't think it's the best idea for people to see you this vulnerable."

"Vulnerable?" Her eyebrows were up. "What happened to being 'a symbol of peace and rebuilding'?"

"Look, Shepard, the whole fleet knows you are pregnant. Don't you think there are people who are going to want to take advantage of your reduced speed and increased... um..."

"Increased what?"

"Size." Vega added unhelpfully. Kaidan glared at him, and Vega shrugged. "What? It's not like she's getting fat or anything. It's a baby."

Liara put her face in her hands.

"Thanks, Vega." Shepard leaned back and sighed. "I get it. I've read the reports. Things are getting a bit rowdy." She glanced over at the table. "Yes, Liara, I get most of the same intel that you do, and I don't think they make maternity armor." She folded her arms across her chest, resting them gently on the baby bump.

"I just want everything to go well." Kaidan leaned his head against hers. "We're riding high on good luck right now, I just want it to last."

"Everything is going to be fine."

"How many times have you said that before, Shepard?" Garrus rolled his eyes.

"Hey! I got us through the war, didn't I?"

"Barely." Vega muttered into his cards.

"Stuff it, Vega."

"Yes, Ma'am." 

The room settled into a comfortable silence, broken only by Doctor Chakwas's entrance a few minute later.

"Commander? Doctor Cass is here." The older woman helped Shepard stand, then followed her out of the room.

"Major, grab a drink, and play a hand or two." Vega kicked a chair out. "They're probably going to be a while."

Liara ran her finger around the rim of her glass thoughtfully, and sighed. She and Kaidan stared at each other as James dealt out a hand.

"What are we going to do if she keeps getting restless?" Kaidan wondered out loud.

"We could always recruit Wrex as a bodyguard." Liara said, rubbing her forehead. "He's pretty angry about getting stuck with the fleet, instead of getting to head back to Tuchanka."

"Plus," Garrus added with a grin, "His paternal instincts should be kicking in about now. Might do him some good to have a baby to watch out for."

"That's not actually a terrible idea." Kaidan admitted. "Let's not bring it up to Shepard though. We should save it for a last minute plan if she goes completely crazy."

"That sounds best." Liara said, picking her cards up from the table, and frowning. "Hopefully she'll be too tired to complain."

They laughed, and set into their game. James has won anything of real value long ago, now shore leave, duty rounds and and paperwork were used as currency.

An hour later, Shepard reappeared, and gently lowered herself down onto the couch.

"Dr. Cass is heading down to check on Gabby before she leaves. She's still not far along, but Ken wants her looked over."

"They didn't waste any time, did they?" Kaidan turned in his chair to look back at her.

"No, but neither did we."

"Fair. So... everything alright?" She grinned, and rubbed her belly.

"So far, so good." She frowned, and gently poked herself. "Hey. Stop kicking me."

Kaidan grinned, and set his cards down to join her on the couch.

"Feisty little guy?"

"Very active. But still no biotics." She reached up and gently cupped his face with her hand. "By the way, you need to stop have conversations you don't want me to know about in here. I do not need Wrex as a bodyguard."

Everyone turned to stare at the small speaker embedded in the wall.

"Joker..." Kaidan swore under his breath.

"Look. I need to get off this ship." Shepard sighed. "How about this. You and I go and deliver my latest report to Hackett in person. Is their any ship safer than his?"

"No." Kaidan had to concede her point. "Alright. we'll go."

Shepard practically bounded to her feet and headed out the door.

"Great. Cortez is waiting in the hanger."

Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, and followed her to the lift.

"You were going to go, regardless of what I said, weren't you."

"Yup." She looked up at him. "You're my husband, but that doesn't make you the boss of me."

"Hey, I'm still technically your superior officer."

"Has that ever stopped me before?"

"Good point."

*Fifteen months after the war ended*

Kaidan paced the hall in front of the lift doors, nervously twisting his ring with his thumb.

"Why is this thing so slow?!"

"Calm down." Garrus said, leaning against the wall near the memorial list of names. "The doctors are on the ship. They'll be up in just a moment. Besides, Chakwas said we still had time."

"I know... just..."

Garrus walked over, and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"You're waiting on the birth of your child, and there is nothing for you to do. It's understandable. Go sit down."

The Turian led him around the mess table, where several of the Normandy crew had already gathered.

"How are you so calm?" Kaidan asked.

"I was small, but I remember how my father was when my sister was born."

"I've always had questions about the Turian birthing-" Liara started to ask, before Tali gently shook her head.

"Now is probably not the best time for that."

"Fine. Do you think I should ask Shepard if she practiced the Asari breathing techniques I taught her?"

Kaidan, Garrus and James shook their heads in unison.

"She wasn't in the best of moods the last time I checked on her." Kaidan went back to twitching his ring.

"Yeah, my translator didn't pick up half of the things she said." Garrus laughed.

"I speak English fluently," Vega said, "and I didn't even catch half of that."

"Probably the slang of her youth. Most likely localized to her area." Liara mused.

"Thanks, Mordin." Garrus rolled his eyes.

Kaidan shot out of his chair as the lift doors opened.

Two doctors came around the corner and separated, one heading into the med bay, the other making her way towards the table.

"Doctor Kirby?"

"Major. Good to see you!" The biotic specialist greeted him with a smile. "I hitched a ride with Dr. Cass so I could check on you and the baby, once he decides to grace us with his presence."

"Me?"

"Just making sure your amp is still in good condition. I wouldn't want anyone saying I do shoddy repair work."

She pointed at the chair, and he sat obediently.

"You said you were going to check the baby? I thought he still wasn't showing any signs of biotic development." Liara asked from across the table as Dr. Kirby carefully scanned Kaidan's amp.

"He isn't. But if they manifest during the birthing process, it can get tricky. Other than that, we wait for anything during the first year. After that, latent powers can manifest around four years, ten years, and sixteen. Barring a massive accidental element zero exposure, he should be perfectly fine once he passes those checkpoints." She switched off her omnitool and patted Kaidan on the shoulder. "Everything looks perfect, Major."

"Thanks, Doc."

She glanced over her shoulder.

"I should probably get in there and lend a hand. Since we opened the clinic, I've been doing a little bit of everything." She grinned again, and hurried to join her colleague.

Kaidan spent the next three hours staring at his hands. He was aware that people were talking around him, but found himself lost in his own thoughts, their voices blurring together into a comforting hum. _What if something goes wrong? She's was so torn up inside from the war. Did they really fix everything after the Citadel? What if she loses the baby? What if I lose her? What if-_ He was jarred out of his thoughts by the sudden silence around him. As he looked around the table, at everyone staring at him, his mind flashed back to the terrible silence after the Citadel when Shepard's life had hung in the balance. When they had waited for doctors to put her back together, to save what little life she had clung to.

But this silence was different. It wasn't the silence that came with fear, of holding back tears, uncertainty, and despair. It was the silence that fell in a room when you hid for a surprise party. When you waited for someone to discover something new and wonderful. The anticipation of good news. He looked past his crewmates to the med bay door. Chakwas stood with her hand outstretched towards him, a broad smile on her face. Kaidan nearly launched himself out of his chair, and blew past her into the room.

Shepard lay on a cot, her hair escaping its braid, sticking to the sweat on her flushed face. Sliding onto the edge of the bed, he gently brushed it out of her eyes.

"Hey. How was it?"

She narrowed her eyes up at him.

"Was that a joke, Major?"

He paused.

"They gave you painkillers, didn't they."

"Oh yeah." She wrinkled her nose and laughed. "We would have had major issues if they hadn't." She laughed again, and poked a finger into his chest. "Major issues."

Kaidan let his forehead drop to butt against hers. Painkillers had a way of making her a little loopy.

"Major?" A soft voice came from the other side of the room. Dr. Cass sat in a chair, looking completely worn out. "Would you like to meet your son?"

Every nerve in Kaidan's body fired at once. He felt his biotics flare unconsciously around his fingers and struggled to pull himself under control. Unable to find his voice, he nodded.

Doctor Kirby turned around, and strode towards him, a tiny bundle of blankets in her arms.

"I just finished cleaning him up. He's been fed, and now he's quieted down quite a bit."

She slid the blankets into Kaidan's arms, and stepped away to check on Dr. Cass.

"Look at him." Shepard murmured, resting her head on his shoulder. "He's perfect."

Pulling the blanket back, Kaidan looked down into a pair of startled dark eyes. They stared back at him curiously.

"He's so tiny." He breathed, placing a finger into a hand barely the same size. "So breakable. So... normal?" He looked up at Dr. Kirby expectantly, and she nodded, smiling. "Normal. Perfect. Everything is perfect." He kissed Shepard on the forehead again and brushed her hair back out of her face. She smiled, and her eyes closed, her breathing settling into the slow pattern of sleep.

Felix curled his tiny fingers around Kaidan's finger and gripped tightly. Kaidan cradled his small head, running his thumb through the thin amount of dark hair already present.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, holding the newborn tight against his chest. "I can't give you sunshine or grass. I can't give you a dog, or the ocean, or fresh air. The only things I have to give you are cold walls and close quarters." He stared down into the wide eyes that looked so much like his own. "But I can give you safety. I can promise you that your mother and I will protect you... that this crew... your family... will protect you from harm. And I can give you stars. More stars than you could ever count."

Felix yawned, and Kaidan smiled. _My son. _He leaned against Shepard, lowering the baby into her arms. In her sleep, her grip tightened. Feeling his eyes drooping, Kaidan let his mind wander. He thought back to everything lost. Ashley. Thane. His parents. His childhood home. And to everything gained. Peace. A new family. Felix. Shepard.

As his eyes closed, Felix yawned again. Shepard sighed in her sleep, and nestled her head against his chest. Kaidan left himself fall asleep, safe on the Normandy, surrounded by loyal friends, wrapped in the arms of his love, cradling his son.

_After all these years, it's finally time to rest. _

_**_Oh god I am so sorry this took so long! I am the worst ever.

Okay, so I'm going to go back and write a chapter for Leviathan, once I figure out where the best place to put it is. (so I'm keeping this story open for a while.) Also, whatever the new DLC Bioware has been teasing is will also get a chapter!

I'm also going to continue the "Baby Steps" story, though I now think it needs a new name. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. So I'm going to change that from closed to in progress.

Again, thank you EVERYONE for reading! It's been a long, arduous process, and I've gotten to meet some really awesome people through this, and I've really enjoyed this.)

I can't believe I'm at the end of the canon story! Holy crap! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Okay. I'm done babbling. I swear.

3 you all!

-Lara**


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